Outrage Sunday 19 Truthers Redux

Posted on September 11, 2011 by rottobloggo

This superb scale model of the Twin Towers will be on show in Kings Park today – but it’s not a swap meet.

No, it’s much more serious than that: Truthers still fearlessly walk among us, and they will have this model they built themselves, plus flyers, documentaries and other convincing stuff to educate us sheople.

“It’s that time of year. 10 years on and still no answers. Time to spread some truth and open some eyes,” they say on Meetup.com. “It has been suggested that being a Sunday we hit a more family friendly location such as Kings Park, where we have the ability to recreate. There will be a stall setup near the War memorial/flame in Kings Park with a “Google 9/11 Truth” banner displayed. Please come along anytime between 10am – 2pm and bring along family & friends, along with if you wish, something to eat/cook on the BBQs provided.”

They also have the ability to think TLA is a gerbalist, as Bento noted the last time Truthers were drawn to TWOPland. They were cruelly mocked by skink: “I blame the NWA: Dr Dre is in league with the Masons and elements of the Third Reich who escaped Berlin and settled in Girrawheen, where they have been trying to splice alien DNA onto the corpse of Chris Mainwairing. Ben Cousins found out what was going on and Ice Cube planted sunflowers on him to discredit him.”

If local Truthers aren’t your cup of nanothermite, buy a $77 ticket to see David Icke at UWA’s Octagon Theatre next week. If Truthers and Mr Icke got together they’d be irresistible.

“Join David Icke as he shares his new insights into the agenda of the New World Order and the solutions we need in order to reach our true potential on this planet. Speaking to a packed audience in Melbourne in 2009, the event was considered a huge success and inspired hundreds of truth seekers in Australia to start moving towards a peaceful evolution of non-compliance. David will be speaking for over 7 hours.” Proceeds towards helping fund David’s research into the New World Order.

No wonder the Dwyer/Flynn book was remaindered to $5 on Bay View Terrace in Claremont, where Dymocks used to be, last week. People don’t want New World Order propaganda pap from patsies – they want the Truthers! (Wait – a $5 shop on the Terrace? Is that a Worst?).

Posted in *Worst of Australia, *Worst of The World, Uncategorisable Worsts, worst classics, worst journalist, worst of perth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 168

Posted on September 10, 2011 by AHC McDonald

Note to Fremantle writers. Put your shoes on. You look like tools. This Fremantle shoeless posing has just got to stop. This time it’s Craig Silvey. From The West via Saltysuzy.craig silvey fremantle

Put your shoes on Craig Silvey.

Coogee Beach Lion by Meccano.

Snow Boozies by Cookster.The Karratha Airport bar where Bento was to scared for his safety to order a Mojito. (Settled for a Sex on the Beach, VB back.) He also claimed there were no other worthy worsts in Karratha. None? In the Dunsborough of the north? You lie!Baffling if not sinister door in Dog Swamp by Brendan H. All ages? And another winter warmer from Cookster Melbourne. Some sort of bikini waxing required?

Posted in weekend worstoff, worst pub/hotel/design | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 39 Comments

Lake vs Lannie, Town of Vincent Mayoral Race

Posted on September 9, 2011 by AHC McDonald

The Town of Vincent, (so called City of Vincent) The Worst of Perth heartland is girding its fixies for the first real Mayoral race in a long time, now that Nick “RatCat” Catania has decided to hang up the chain. The Worst of Perth sat down with the candidates, former state Labor member Alannah MacTiernan, and current Town of Vincent Deputy Mayor Sally “Salt” Lake at a small bar on Beaufort Street – TOV’s famous Arrondissement.

Alannah MacTiernan

Sally Lake

TWOP: Hi guys. Now Alannah, if I can start with you. Can I call you Lannie by the way?
Alannah MacT: No.
TWOP: OK, then. What if any special skills would you bring to the role of Mayor?
Alannah MacT: A low tolerance for fuckwits.
Sally Lake: And, if I may, that’s where Alannah and I differ. I pride myself on my high tolerance for dickheads. When you’re working with politicians, council staff, journalists and members of the public, well it’s virtually 100% dickheads. If Alannah is going to run on a no fuckwit platform, then she’s going to find it very lonely as Mayor if she wins.
TWOP: So what we are seeing is essentially an ideological battle between the idea of a rejection of fuckwits and the necessity to deal with them?
Alannah MacT & Sally Lake: Oh yes. Definitely. Whatever.
TWOP: On a side topic, what do both of you think of the accusation that the word “Mayoral” sounds a bit too similar to “clitoral”?
Sally Lake: Well that accusation was always going to be made now that Nick isn’t running wasn’t it?
Alannah MacT: Well if we’re going to be talking about “South of the river”, then I’ve got more balls than Nick and Sally put together.
TWOP: OK, you know what I’m going to ask don’t you? You’re both widely regarded as having hideous hair. How do you respond?
Sally Lake: Well if you’re on a council that includes Matt Buckels, then you’re never going to have the worst hair on the block are you? Ha ha.
Alannah MacT: Seriously, that dude looks like he has his hair cut especially for participating in Medieval reenactments, but look Sally and I both have the same hairdressers. Ourselves. Although sometimes I cut mine with my left hand so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Matt Buckels

TWOP: Now Alannah, you’ve promised recycling “from arsehole to breakfast” in Vincent if you are elected. What exactly does that mean?
Alannah MacT:  What it says.
Sally Lake: I believe that Vincent already has recycling “up the yin yang”, and that’s part of the process I’ve been involved with over the last few years as Deputy Mayor.
TWOP: Well thank you both, and best of luck to both of you, although Sally, you were pretty well rooted as soon as Alannah put up her hand weren’t you?
Sally Lake: It’s not over yet.
Alannah MacT:  Darl, the ship has sailed, and you’re not on it. Deal with it.

Posted in worst politician | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 70 Comments

Sock? Sack? Suck?

Posted on September 9, 2011 by AHC McDonald

“Suck my sack” is apparently written on this piece of cactus  in some…thick liquid. Graffitied plant matter in Perth is said (by me) to represent everything from the end of days to…well the end of days. By Jaidyn-Jaxxon. Indeed. Location not provided.

Posted in worst graffiti | Tagged | 8 Comments

The Vermin Council

Posted on September 8, 2011 by AHC McDonald

Dear Lazy Aussie. The attached photo shows what I consider to be a vintage WA Worst, from a remote part of the rabbit-proof fence between Sandstone and Wiluna.
Firstly, the faded quotation marks around “Murchison Regional Vermin Council” seem unnecessary, and hint that the MRVC is not official. Secondly, why the emphasis on “GATE”? As if there is something else nearby to close (I can assure you there is not). Underlining any of the other three words would make more sense.
Michael (previously of “Cash Twon” fame).
PS. I have already registered the name “Murchison Regional Vermin Council” for my new rural-themed hip-hop posse.
Thanks mate. I think it would be great to be a Sergeant t Arms for a vermin council.

Posted in worst sign | Tagged , , , | 36 Comments

More 1980s

Posted on September 7, 2011 by AHC McDonald

Some more I have just scanned/rescanned from my archives. I can’t remember where this house is. Looks like North perth. It’s 496 something. (Not william I don’t think,). Anyone recognise or know if it still exists? And my lovely old V8. Both shots are from around 1989 I’m guessing. (Where’s Bag O’Turnips BTW?)

Posted in worst classics | Tagged , , , | 18 Comments

Sunday Morning Coming Up

Posted on September 7, 2011 by AHC McDonald

By Brownbook. Northbridge. Is it chunder or a simple case of say it don’t spray it?

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts, worst food | Tagged | 27 Comments

Smokeys Burgers

Posted on September 6, 2011 by AHC McDonald

Did you know Perth had a burger joint with rollerskating chicks serving the cars with said burgers? Finally getting round to scanning my 80s and 90s medium format negs. This place, Smokey’s burgers was across the road from Ellingtons, sort of, where now beret wearing fifth flatters trade snarl with curled lip. Was a pasta place before, equally money losing. After decades a new building finally going up on the site. Stirling Street/Beaufort Street. Apart from Smokey’s, amazing how little Stirling Street has changed over the decades. I don’t know when I took this. Guessing 1986.

Posted in worst classics | Tagged , , , | 70 Comments

Leeuwin hepcats left out in the cold

Posted on September 5, 2011 by AHC McDonald

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a town I’d better get out of.” The Gene Krupa in Augusta Story.

A brave attempt to drag Augusta into the 1930s seems to have failed if the for lease signs at Augusta Home Jazz can be believed. It was certainly a courageous attempt, because Augusta isn’t the first town you’d think of for flatted fifths or beret wearing. In fact the slow moving octogenarians that populate most of this piece of coastal rurotardia would more likely snap a hip than a finger at any breakout of syncopation. It’s the type of place you might consider as the setting for The Zombie Gene Krupa Story. But in any case, now they’ll have to travel as far as Busselton to pick up their upright basses, egg beater drumsticks and trombone slides, and that ute will have to slink away, its tray sadly unfilled with daddyos and hepcats. Auteured by The Country Bandit.augusta jazz

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts | Tagged , , | 42 Comments

Outrage Sunday 18 Pööplöp

Posted on September 4, 2011 by rottobloggo

The Ikea catalogue arrived today: please please we will now see no more of those letterbox-cleaning TV ads repeated from last year. It is the lowest form of wit to make jokes about Ikea product names like Jerker, Fukta, Fartfull and Lyckhem. Perhaps company founder Ingvar Kamprad makes jokes about WA’s eccentric retail trading laws, which mean his enormous shop in Innaloo is packed on Saturdays but empty the day after. I’m sure the SA shop on Sir Donald Bradman Drive is thronged every day of the week, and no doubt famous Swedish people can buy what they want at midnight.

But the 376-page thing caused me angst: the bookshelves weren’t in the Workspaces chapter. The Billys and the Expedits turned up in Living Room, after coffee tables. Don’t get me wrong: I am no Ikea-boy seeking my erotic gratification. Nor was I wanting to have an extra-diegetic moment. I like inspecting the books on the shelves. How many copies of Find The Love of Your Life After 50 do you need in one claustrophobic space? Six, it seems: “We imagined what would happen if six friends decided to live together in 40 square metres.” What would happen? Prison riot.

I do admire, however, their retention of their umlauts, and those little circles above the As. It is almost enough to forgive them for their break-even hotdogs.

How long before I can turn on the fucking TV and watch the footy?

 

Posted in *Worst of The World, Uncatetorisable worsts, worst advertising, worst entertainment, worst letterbox, worst name, worst objects, worst spelling | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 54 Comments