Suggest a topic for worst of Perth here.

1,216 Responses to Suggest

  1. meccano says:

    How about a worst of perth teeshirt comp that can be voted on by readers, the winners could have their shirt made up.


    • JaneZ says:

      I doubt there is a category for Missing Worsts, but perhaps there should be. Because remember that utterly craptacular wodge of limestone outside the Perth railway station that had been carved with legs and arms and arses, for some reason? I think it may have been intended to represent the street kids’ struggle for acceptance or similar. Anyway, point is, it’s gone. Don’t know where, don’t know when. But it was seriously worst.

      And while I’m worsting – may I nominate the entire Perth railway station/Forrest Chase nexus in the category of Worst Public Space? I mean, you couldn’t design a space more likely to be urinated in/more likely to be the site of your next mugging than that spiral staircase to the right of the station. What gives with that awful bolted-together fiberglass stuff they are using in place of actual building materials?

      And why would you design the frontage to Wellington Street like that? All you can see is the entry to some underground cavern, blocked off by black metal fenceposts that look like they came off a McMansion.

      And, given that it’s an area teeming with social and locational difficulties, why the fuck would you let KFC and Macdonalds put tables out on the public square? Ooh, outdoor dining, how fucking European. Fail.

      And why wouldn’t you clean it every now and again? There is filth everywhere, filth, I tell you.

      And finally, why can’t someone just set fire to those octagonal bus stands outside the train station. They offend mine eye on a daily basis. Thank you. [/rant]


    • Paul Fox says:

      I was in maccas the other day and one of the guys behind the counter was wearing a t-shirt that said “1 + 1 = 3” and in smaller print “if you’re not wearing a condom”. Didn’t feel that was appropriate for a “family restaurant”. Maybe I’m just old.


  2. meccano101 says:

    Hey L.A this is meccano new and improved, meccano101. keep up the bad fight.


  3. lazyaussie says:

    Hey Meccano. Like the av. I pictured you bulkier.


  4. meccano101 says:

    I’m just big boned.


  5. Golden1 says:

    LA I must confess that I am a Worst Of Perth addict.
    I have been leaving my children in the car outside the casino, while I sit at home completely consumed by the latest worst ofs.


  6. meccano101 says:

    speaking of casino’s, remember the public outcry when that went up. How do we feel about it these days?


  7. lazyaussie says:

    It’s still a craphole with Asians in polyester pants wandering about looking for somewhere to smoke. Supposedly to be demolished.


  8. meccano101 says:

    Demolished, wow. It only seems like yesterday it went up.


  9. Golden1 says:

    Ah the giant fly zapper – such memories. Crap memories.


  10. You’ve gotta add a category of airport to your list of the worst. It’s asking for it.


  11. lazyaussie says:

    It’s on my list, which is nearly 100 topics long. I’m having to post twice a day to keep up. The Maracoonda motel nearby also.


  12. sane_person says:

    Worst opening hours? Bottle-o’s open at 8.30 in the morning (why?) and closed by 8pm (no chance of fine wining and dining into the night then?). Truly amazing/ridiculous…


  13. lazyaussie says:

    Yes. Shopping hours ridiculous. Will get a picture of closed shop to illustrate your point. Great suggestion.


  14. elwrongo says:

    I know this kind of place. They cater for the seasoned day drinker. Two four litre casks of Buronga Ridge 8:45am everyday, no questions and no bullshit.

    There’s one just like it in East Perth opposite the park and Silver City.


  15. J E says:

    As a contender to Worst architecture, have you driven past the “flats” being built between the casino and the golf course? Reminiscent of Singapore in the 1970’s but with million dollar price tags. They dont improve from the river view either. Vic Parks’ Bromley(?) Towers are even better. To top it off they all face west to cop a blast from the setting sun. So not only UGLY, appalingly energy inefficient. I suppose that if you can afford one of these you can afford to run the air-conditioner full time too and you probably may not care what others think.


  16. lazyaussie says:

    Do you mean Brownley Towers JE? They are in Bentley, but I know what you mean. Regarding the air conditioner stuff. Have a look at the appalling Subi redevelopment. All the places are roasted by the sun and have no shading eaves. You can’t open a window.


    • Anonymous says:

      Brownley Towers are public housing, pretty sure, so not sure they do buy air conditioners.


      • Watcher says:

        Brownley Towers aka suicide towers, is housing for low income over 45’s now. It has had 50 mil spent on making it look nice. It’s still ugly but a little better on the eyes and no more suicides due to heavy wiring along all balconies. Beautiful!!


  17. Bailface says:

    The dingiest and dirtiest shopping centre I have encountered in all Australia, KOONDOOLA PLAZA SHOPPING CENTRE, Koondoola Ave and Burbridge Ave, Koondoola, smashed up shops, bullet holes, needles and graffiti etc. bars on everything, no maintenance or security, right next to a tavern! Especially their XXX, where they like to repack damaged foodstuffs and do body searches on customers. XXX should keep some standards of health, they must know what is going on.


  18. lazyaussie says:

    Thanks baily. Haven’t been out that way for a long time, Had a similar suggestion for Nollamara. Thought I might need to obscure name of rogue trader.


  19. AV says:

    If you’re ever in the vicinity of Padbury, do pay a visit to Forrest Plaza Shopping Centre–surely a contender for one of Perth’s worst. While you’re there, you’ll notice a two-storey house across Forrest Rd which can only be summed up with two words: “The” and “Castle.” Between 4 to 6 cars on the front lawn, and there is a sliding door on the first floor which opens onto, well, nothing!


    • Lorayne says:

      I know the junk castle well… I lived looking down on the worse back yard ever!! Disgusting!! I will say that Robin at the hairdressers is a freaking crack up in a good way and the now owners of the Deli are lovely too!! Back to the junk yard.. Is well worse than the front.. Gross!! Worse back yard!!


  20. AV says:

    Worst church: St Lawrence’s, Balcatta. Almost as tacky in design as the houses in the area.

    Worst name for a nightclub: The G Spot, Joondalup (not sure if it’s still open)


  21. lazyaussie says:

    I’ll make it my business to be in Padbury


  22. AV says:

    You won’t be disappointed.

    Actually, the Whitfords area (Rob Johnston’s stomping ground, incidentally) is a veritable gold mine of sins against good taste, where The Castle aesthetic abounds. Head about a mile north along Marmion Ave to see a circular monstrosity known as Our Lady of the Mission Church in Craigie (which is almost as bad as the A-frame Our Lady of Grace Church in North Beach). In fact, I heartily recommend the Camberwarra Drive walking tour. Be sure to bring your camera, but be discreet–or prepared to run very fast–as it’s Bogan city. Eddystone Avenue is another can’t-miss.

    Or head east and then north via Whitfords Ave and Northshore Drive, until you reach Mullalloo Beach. Before you will stand one of the gaudiest mansions you ever did see–white with pillars encrusted in what look like silver diamontes.

    Kallaroo is another story. Dampier Avenue separates the haves from the wish-they-hads. Bridgewater Drive (in the wish-they-had quarter) is pencil pine central, and I daresay contains the highest concentration of Aussie flags on flagpoles on the face of the planet.


  23. lazyaussie says:

    I’ll have the car serviced so there’s no chance of a breakdown. Actually I’m more worried about getting the koondoola shopping centre. I’m going to have to take leave to get this. Will try to get out that way maybe saturday. I’ve photographed around the world but Koondoola..?


  24. The lady in the river who has appeared along Mounts Bay Rd. WTF ?


  25. lazyaussie says:

    She appears to be standing on a rubbish bin.


  26. Cimbali says:

    Who is this moistened bint of whom you speak BillO?


  27. lazyaussie says:

    there’s a new sculpture I think in crawley.


  28. Yes there are mysteries about Perth. The lady in the river on the rubbish bin. Incidentally she wore a nice frock for Melbourne Cup day. A bigger mystery is the old power station in East Perth. The only thing that seems to happen to it are new signs like ” opening soon Your government at work blah blah blah”. We owe much to Alannah McT.


  29. Also has any body got any shots of the Coffin Cheaters headquarter after the arson attempt ?


  30. lazyaussie says:

    what street is it on? Do you know Bill?


  31. It’s in Raleigh Rd in Bayswater.


  32. It was an interesting exercise finding that address via Google: all the BS drama that goes with those FHs. The most interesting one was the army person staggering down Raleigh Rd no doubt in hot pursuit of a rocket launcher.


  33. Hugh says:

    I haven’t seen it mentioned yet (so forgive me if it has been), but there’s a church backing onto Guildford Rd somewhere around 1st or 2nd Avenues that has next to it a one-story, vaguely art deco, white, um, building that urges us to “Pray For Australia”.

    I don’t have a USB connection for my phone, but I can text a pic I took while walking home a coupla weeks ago. Email me with your number if you like…


    • Miss Trish says:

      Hugh, the spot you refer to is on the corner of Guildford Rd and Seventh avenue and is a grotto behind the Seventh Ave Catholic church. The grotto actually has an interesting history. it was funded by east European catholic migrants who came from soviet Blok countries, predominantly Poland. The exhortation “Pray for Australia” expresses their great concern that Australia should not fall to communism. The sign was not illuminated for many years however a few years ago (maybe about 2006?) the new priest had the globes replaced as a deterrent to the urbane sophisticates whom he had discovered used the grotto as a local shag spot. Isn’t it evocative – shagging on asphalt under the watchful gaze of Our Lady!


  34. lazyaussie says:

    i’m real close. I’ll go have a look.


  35. ally says:

    worst christmas lights of perth!


  36. lazyaussie says:

    35 ally. I have a shot of them already. will be up soon


  37. Hugh says:

    Oops, my Pray for Australia place can actually be found around 7th Ave, not 1st. What can I say – I’m new in the area and can’t count or read… ;)


  38. lisa says:


    Worst voters:
    The people of Stirling for thinking that six figures worth of billboards & bus stop ads mean they have a hard-working local member; and for choosing a baby-faced silvertailed real estate agent over a scar-faced right-on war hero…

    Worst (Federal) MP:
    Michael Keenan, for saying during the campaign that the day Workchoices was passed was the best day of his life (girls – guess what – he’s single!). Here’s hoping he enjoys the next few years as much as the low-paid workers of Australia have enjoyed the past few.

    Appropriate graphics can be found on his website


  39. lazyaussie says:

    Is he the hoon man?


  40. lisa says:

    Not sure… you mean tough on hoons?


  41. lazyaussie says:

    yes, I think he was anti hoon.


  42. Slanderer says:

    Great website. How about worst feature film with scenes in Perth? We’ve had some that Perth can be truly proud of – Japanese Story and Nickel Queen come straight to mind.


  43. lazyaussie says:

    Ah, the nickel queen. Also Harlequin. There was a local movie that had Dave from Diffs in it. I actually worked on some bad Perth movies. Day of The Panther , The Strike of The Panther, and Zombie Brigade.


  44. golden1 says:

    Like the av Lazy. Takes me back to the days of the 150th celebrations and G’day from WA t-shirts.


  45. Anon says:

    I got one, not physical, but unique to Perth.

    The Transperth website.

    It is absolute shit.


  46. ando82 says:

    Following up on the anonymous poster’s comment about the Transperth web site – how’s about Transperth Smart Rider for Perth’s worst concept.

    Do I need to go into detail? I’d be here all night if you need me to…


  47. James says:

    This site is great… been living in the UK for a while and it brings back so many memories, especially of Morley. The ‘Pray for Australia’ church is very close to my heart.

    A few of my Perth favourites:

    1) There’s an absolute hideous house on Wanneroo Road near the ABC transmitter that is walled by a metal grille fence and stuffed full of old cars and radio antennas. It’s roughly here:,115.825145&spn=0.004001,0.010042&t=h&z=17&om=1

    2) It’s a little advertised fact, but the CSIRO Arctic division has built some igloo houses in Kewdale on Rual Place:,+WA,+Australia&sll=-31.981434,115.921812&sspn=0.031961,0.080338&ie=UTF8&cd=1&geocode=0,-32.033391,115.885299&ll=-31.9713,115.924119&spn=0.001998,0.005021&t=h&z=18&om=1
    … you just have to see it.


  48. lazyaussie says:

    Thanks mate will have a look.


  49. John says:

    Could we have a category for “Public Spaces”. Has anyone had a look at the new landscaping arrangement at Point Fraser in East Perth? It is an absolute abomination. I recently had to rescue a bewildered and non-plussed young Irish backpacking couple who were totally confused and shell-shocked by this hugely expensive shadeless ugly triangulated maze that goes no-where despite having walkways wide enough to take a combine harvester.
    We used to have a nicely treed and fairly natural parkland / bushland riverside walk, that just needed the river bank to be tidied up and repaired. Now we have an synthetic and unfriendly nightmare of stainless steel and concrete, that gives no access to the river shore – just frustration and anger at the desecration of nature.
    Could the new Lord Mayor please visit this site and arrange for it to be sorted out.


  50. John says:

    Here I go again, still in East Perth, at another Public Space.

    If I had a dream… would be to pull out all the palm trees from Queens Gardens.

    Their horrid top-heavy verticality spoils the look of this garden.

    In my mind’s eye I try to imagine how beautiful this park would be………….just with the soft random shapes of the deciduous and native trees….

    If you want to see what I mean, just compare the gentle elegant look of the South shoreline of the river, with the tawdry and serried row of palms on the canalised North shoreline.


    • catydid says:

      It’s new- it’s true! Gardens Of The Globe seized opportunity to rip out all palm trees in Perth-Yay! Service NOT offered in Koondoola or Morley. Too dangerous, too many middle eastern Bro’s with chainsaws. Get up their palm & they’ll take your nuts off as you scream & pray to die & be taken to Prosser Scott funeral “home”. Hello- it’s a departure lounge, nothing ‘homely’ about it. No one will be booked by Blue Dudes for your murder. BD also very scared of Perth’s lovely suburbs. Checked out Lockridge? Queen’s Park? Not a fairy to be found in QP. Lansdale shopping centre V scary- I got hit by hoon there- with his CAR- ON THE CROSSWALK. He was as blind as a welder’s kelpie. Kenwick pretty skungy- but absolute WORSTbuilding has to be vomit green bacterial monument- the Exhibitionists Centre. That;s why Perth “Apartments” are going cheap- all those flat dwellers waking up to green vomit every day- lovely view!


  51. greg says:

    How about the perth state art gallery. Ugly brutalist architecture on the outside. Just as abysmal on the inside. Rarely ever any really interesting sculpture on display, or paintings for that matter. Perth needs a new and more visionary contemporary state art gallery with a more exciting collection and format.

    Philanthropy. Perth multi-millionaires if they’ve ever heard of such a word.

    Even try experimenting with giving unknown outside artists a go when it comes to putting on exhibitions and such. Not only all the little insiders [ and we know who they are dont we girls].

    But god that building for an art gallery!!


  52. CK says:

    Well, LA, since you so bravely took up my suggestion and travelled to the John Curtin Memorial in the deep south of Fremantle, I give you the Eliza Crawley Baths Sculpture (actual huming beans not included):

    Now, I’ve done a bit of swimming in my time, and I have never attempted to:

    a) overwhelm fellow swimmers with my amazing powers of hypnotism, just to get a spot in the lane,

    b) dived from a fruit-crate, or

    c) turn into some sort of Mussolini Super-Swimmer.

    All in all a quite magnificent effort.

    Press release here:


  53. lazyaussie says:

    It looks like she’s standing on a rubbish bin. I had a shot of a bin to go with a pic of this, but you beat me to it. CK


  54. greg says:

    I don’t live that far from the bathing lady ‘mussolini’ sculpture and often walk past it on the way to perth.

    It is typical of a tony jones public sculpture. Has to be seen from afar otherwise it makes you cringe.

    Perth does not have any really accomplished sculptors of the figure. At least any that get commissioned to make sculpture.


  55. lazyaussie says:

    And arses are notoriously hard to do, as we have seen from the Station job.


  56. CK says:

    Well LA, I think Tony Jones deserves a post all of his own.

    How does he fit it all in? Apart from being one of the nation’s top journalists, presenting Lateline four nights a week, he’s also an ace Perth sculptor.

    But recent efforts (Crawley, above) and the CY O’Connor memorial somewhere south of Freo here:

    suggest he should be kept well away from attempting to replicate anything that may have once been living or breathing.

    I have never been to Stirling, bit this looks like an early attempt at replicating the human form:

    This, apparently, has something to do with the City of Stirling “enhancing the built environment.”

    Earth to Tony: Please, stop it.


  57. lazyaussie says:

    The CY O’connor is pretty interesting don’t you think? Don’t like crawley. Can’t really tell about the big figure.


  58. greg hoey says:

    Tony Jones is part of the club that use the platform of ‘concerned politics’ as means to ensure they get all these commissions.
    If you dont agree with them its because your mysoginist, anti-environment, racist, whatever.

    They really suffer from the ‘too much competition is bad’ syndrome.


  59. Cimbali says:

    I have never seen the CYO’ sculpture before. it is pretty amazing.
    I am not sure what else Tony has done but I love this.


  60. greg says:

    Tony Jones is part of the club that use the platform of ‘concerned politics’ as means to ensure they get all these commissions.
    If you dont agree with them its because your mysoginist, anti-environment, racist, whatever.

    They really suffer from the ‘too much competition is bad’ syndrome.-greg hoey


  61. Amy says:

    I definitely second the suggestion for worst Christmas Lights in Perth. There are certainly some shockers!


  62. son of sniglet says:

    Couple of suggestions :
    1) Telstra Phone Exchange building on Wellington St – how could anyone have ever thought it was a good idea to plonk a windowless beige monlith in the CBD.
    2) Telstra Phone Exchange on Pier St – it took over 3 years to renovate the facade of this piece of shite and we still ended up with a piece of shite
    3) Barrack St between Wellington and Hay, Murray St between Barrack and Pier, William St between Wellington and Hay. $2 shops for cheapskate cretins, gaming arcades for Asian drug dealers, internet cafes for unemployable turds this whole precinct deserves nothing more than a cluster bombing
    4) The entire suburb of Hillarys. No amount of neo-classical columns will disguise the fact that you are a tit and you have more money than taste


  63. lazyaussie says:

    These are all good suggestions sniglet. I am wondering wether the big Telstra on Wellington is more a curiosity thanbad, now it has been up for so long.


  64. CK says:

    “I definitely second the suggestion for worst Christmas Lights in Perth. There are certainly some shockers!”

    Indeed Amy. And as we have entered the six-week news-free zone, The Waste will inevitably be featuring every godawful neon calamity celebrating Happy Birthday Jesus in the early news section.

    One question, though. As we’ve just had a change of government based, at least in part, on climate change, how much extra power per house do these monstrosities consume?

    Can we not have a name and shame campaign? Peace and goodwill be buggered.


  65. son of sniglet says:

    QV1 building – I know, I know its a Harry Seidler creation but he also created the universally hated Blues Point Tower in Sydney. It’s OK when you’re right up close but from a distance it is abhorrent, it just doesn’t fit no matter where you are viewing it from. It always reminds me of a big piece of chalky dog crap.


  66. CK says:

    Being Christmas, is it not time for a WOP grogblog?

    I would actually prefer somewhere quiet and not worst.


  67. lazyaussie says:

    Yes we should, though having a 3 yo limits my options a little.


  68. AV says:

    Has anyone nominated Mr Fist the Optometrist, yet? (318 Murray St. Perth)


  69. lazyaussie says:

    Sort of. I saw a pic of his sign on another site, and asked if I could use it, but no response. I’ll go and get it myself sometime.


  70. greg hoey says:

    Perth drivers.

    Esp,, people in SUV’s. Uncreative, arrogant, lazy, obstructive, dangerous, nasty, short tempered.


  71. La Plaza Bentley says:

    Surf wear. Perth is awash with the crap. In fact, my impression is Perth wardrobes are influenced by surf leisure wear more than any other Australian city. Bad wrap around shades, older people in flouro with terrible extreme sports slogans.


  72. lazyaussie says:

    I want to know why blokes are wearing women’s sunnnies these days.


  73. CK says:

    They think they look they’re in the SAS. It’s the zeitgeist.

    Sadly, however, not too many thongs and boardies in southern Afghanistan.


  74. CK says:

    Look, I know WOP can’t be everywhere, but haven’t we missed something?


    Carmel Sander and Michael Washbourne

    December 07, 2007 10:00pm

    THE spirit of Christmas swept through Perth last night as a glittering procession of 40 floats made its way through city streets in the 35th annual RAC Channel Seven Pageant:,21598,22894068-2761,00.html

    How bad was this homage to Santa Clause?

    Exclusive footage here:


  75. lazyaussie says:

    Yes, I should have been there. We did consider taking the boy, but decided it would have been too horrible. I am going to try and get all the decorations in the city this weekend though.


  76. CK says:

    Worst newspaper/worst sub-editor:-

    (Ahem) I give unto you the breakout box from p18 of today’s Worst Weekend Magazine, featuring a profile on Billy Bragg :

    “Billy Bragg, the angry leftie whose 1977 punk version of God Save the Queen outraged a nation turns 50 next week…”

    Er, hello? Sex Pistols anyone? Sounds like someone needs to sharpen their Google skills.

    Oh, and reading, as the first par of the actual story states pretty clearly that Bragg:

    “… bought Sex Pistols’ anarchic punk version in the Queen’s Jubilee year of 1977…”

    Actually not a bad piece by Simon Collins, and this egregious piece of crap masquerading as an intro is definitely not his fault.

    Why is there no law in this state against fuckwits?


  77. La Plaza Bentley says:

    Saw Billy play the Perth Concert Hall in 1987ish [/irrelevant]


  78. lazyaussie says:

    Saw him at (I think) Canterbury court somewhat later.


  79. CK says:

    Here it is – The Sunday Times Christmas lights shame file:,25537,5028276-5013959,00.html

    The horror. The horror.


  80. Anonymous Perthon says:

    I must confess, I love the tacky christmas lights although the english imagery, as in snow et al could be improved upon – Where are the six white boomers?

    (did I really see Bart Simpson in amongst that lot, I can’t bear to look again in case it’s true)


  81. takatde says:

    Please do a story on the millions of 78 records stickers you see while walking down Hay Street. I counted about 80.


  82. lazyaussie says:

    It has become part of the landscape hasn’t it? with Blind Someone something on it.


  83. CK says:

    LA, I think it’s Blind Willie, or Blind Cootie, or or Blind Someone Or Other.

    He’s a black dude who likes venetians. What’s wrong with that?


  84. CK says:

    One for Worst of the World: Ladies, Gentlmen, Esteemed Children, I give you the NORAD Santa Tracker (do not attempt with dial-up):


  85. CK says:

    Sorry, but I have Christmas Rage…


  86. Christmas rage already CK? it’s only 10 am!


  87. As long as Santa doesn’t disappear from radar screens.


  88. Alex says:

    Worst library:
    The new library at ECU Joondalup. Seriously, it’s hideous. It’s all bent and log-cabinny, and has a hideous mix of aubergine and some awful green coloured shutter things covering the front.

    And apparently, for all the money it cost to build, it only has slightly more shelf-space than the old one did.


  89. Russell says:


    You mean it’s worse than Freo public library:

    lovely coloured walls, attractive metal shelves and I particularly like the idea of having every shelf an inch higher or lower than the adjacent one.

    I nominate the whole of Port / Leighton Beaches – no improvement in facilities for the last 30 years and easily the most neglected bit of coastline in the metro area. At Port the disgusting changerooms/toilets are locked at 7.00 pm – this hasn’t changed with the Daylight Saving trial so it can be hot and sunny (real time 6.00pm) with hundreds of people at the beach and the toilets and changerooms locked.

    Leighton Shores(“A Place for Everyone” says the billboard – but not if you have less than a million $$ for a dogbox) has been enhanced by planting 6 mature palm trees into the sand and the installation of street lights; they didn’t bother to put in street lights on the section of road between Cottesloe and Leighton Shores – this is actually West Coast Highway, which becomes a single lane, unlit hazard of roaring trucks, cyclists and cars turning into/off the road into parking areas. A disaster.


  90. Leighton Hores : another Alannah McTiernan triumph.


  91. Wortho says:

    East Perth Police HQ


  92. Hannah says:

    I nominate Geraldton as the home of the worst interior design taste in WA (the exteriors aren’t much either) – enjoy the smorgasbord of lace, vomit curtains, exposed interior brick and stuffed animals by searching the real estate listings – some of my favourites:

    All that’s missing is a bronze sculpture of Mainy on the main drag and the place will be complete!


  93. This is more of a mystery than a ” Worst of “. Why is the centre of Indian worship in Perth in Canning Vale ? We have the Sikh temple in Nicholson Rd and the Hindu temple in Warton Rd.


  94. I think there’s a version in Maylands.


  95. Rolly says:

    Now that I’ve put on dry pants (as a result of this admirable listing) I’d like to say thanks to LA and all the rest of you for this brilliantly illuminated reflection of what makes Perth – Perth.


  96. LA that’s the Buddhist temple in Guildford Rd , Maylands. I always think of it as the squash court it previously was.


  97. No Bill, sorry I actually meant Bayswater. there’s an old christian church that’s been converted to some kind of subcontinental establishment. Just behind shops on King william. The buddhist is a converted squash courts I think


  98. Hare Krishna Temple
    144 Railway Pde Bayswater ?


  99. Nettie says:

    Talking of bad sculptors and their sculptures, Robert Hitchcock (who I HATE to admit may be a relation of mine) created the Yagan statue, infamous for continuously losing his head. I have an odd feeling that Uncle Robert may have been chopping the head off himself just so he could receive the exorbitant commission to make the replacements. Alas, if only I had proof!


  100. Nettie I was wondering how one gets to see Yagan these days as he is fenced off with savage kangaroos to guard him. I liked how the head looked more and more like Ridge Forrester from The Bold and the Beautiful every time.
    Can you get permission to go into his compound?


  101. greg hoey says:

    Across from yagan is the burswood sculpture park. Oh my god! some of those pieces just so crass. Esp., the one of herb elliot and margaret [surname eludes] holding torch I think.


  102. Where is that exactly greg? Next to the casino, or on heirisson island?


  103. Nettie says:

    I doubt it LA. I don’t even talk to my Uncle if I can help it. He’s a complete asshat to be honest. I haven’t see the statue in years and years – well before the whole lost heads thing. I didn’t even know they had it all fenced off now, although it doesn’t surprise me. But one has to wonder what the point of having a sculpture is if the public can’t even view it?


  104. CK says:

    Let’s forget crappy Burswood sculpture parks for the moment.

    Nomination for Best of Perth: Bullcreek aircraft museum. They have a Lancaster, but sadly not a Tupolev-34.

    Probably also a nomination for Worst Web Page but, hey, at least they’re trying.


  105. CK says:

    I would like to suggest The Worst of Switzerland:

    Apparently they REALLY hate those mountains…


  106. Mez says:

    worst music and/or entertainment at a 20/20 cricket game?

    its killing me


  107. DingoRob says:

    Charge those batteries and free up some memory on that camera flashcard, LA! Lotterywest Skyworks is coming soon!!!!!!!!!

    You want Worst of Perth????!!!!!!


  108. Anonymous Perthon says:

    Gee, do you think they’ll play Phil Collins “In the air tonight”


  109. lisa says:

    Seal… Crazy….


  110. Del Quant says:

    The giant baby painting on the wall of Baby Goodie, 320 Great Eastern Highway, Midland. But be warned – I was never afraid of the dark until the moment I clapped eyes on that thing. Now I sleep with the lights on.


  111. I took a shot the other day Del, but I missed the giant baby. the sign on the roof was bad enough. might put it up tomorrow.


  112. Del Quant says:

    It’s on the western wall of the building, on your left as you drive into Midland from Guildford… *Shudder*


  113. Del Quant says:

    It’s a ruse. That baby’s from the third circle of Hades.


  114. DG says:

    Is it just me or is that new statue on riverside drive near the causeway a bloody eyesore that should never have been allowed by the CoP or what?


  115. DG says:

    this one LA:

    it was launched last sunday, i particularly love the handrail.


  116. CK says:

    I would like to suggest Worst Avatar.

    In particular, Tomthrett.

    I find it really creepy and weird.


  117. What about you CK? Where’s yours? Apparently you can get a universal one without having to open a blog account here?


  118. CK says:

    No, LA, I won’t post the avatar, at least not yet.

    But tonight I have been reminded of my disgraceful behaviour last Friday evening whilst drinking on the company account.

    Some complete fairytale re falling over people while drunk, apparently.

    I don’t believe it for a second.

    Pics Monday.


  119. David Cohen says:

    If you have an avatar does that make you avatistic?


  120. Not at the ‘Ling or The Rang-er I hope CK. You’re the mining man right? Sounds like the sort of event you’d see My Ning at.


  121. CK says:

    Err, the ‘Ling and Rang-er are pretty well outside the Independent Republic of Fremantle I’m afraid LA.

    For Teh Worst Southside I’d recommend the Davilak Tavern at the Satan’s Arsehole end of South Terrace.

    The bottleshop staff in particular are really customer friendly.

    As in “I just love waiting for 11.00 to roll around and seeing that last desperate group of Aboriginals stumbling up the street to nick all the grog and then shutting the rollerdoor…”


  122. Frank Calabrese says:

    This ain’t my pic, but this pic of our Newest Opposition Leader deserves a post of it’s own :-)


  123. CK says:

    Oh Frank, that’s so unfair. I understand that Troyboy has promised to give up raping and pillaging…


  124. Del Quant says:

    I notice he’s polished off a couple of tins of that execrable middleweight cat’s piss known and reviled as The Red Death. That’s disappointing. Should’ve been two cans of Kenny at the very least. What sacrifices he must make to avoid the Droop.


  125. James says:

    Perth Airport – I caught a flight out last week and the check-in line stretched all the way to the exit near the baggage carousels

    The pilot even apologised for the lateness and called the terminal in need of demolition.


  126. skink says:

    Can I suggest a new category: “WORST PERTHONALITY”

    I think the term “Perthonality’ encapsulates everything that is worst about this town – especially the kind of Z-list microcelebs that it is used to describe – and the pathetic way they mug up to the cameras assuming somebody knows who the f**k they are.

    unfortunately the queen bee of this annoying swarm has left us, and I kinda miss Rose now that we are forced to look at the also-ran wannabees.

    I will start the ball rolling by nominating Basil Zempilas, whose relentless self-promotion is only matched by his incompetence. I recall him commentating of an Olympic basketball match involving the Czech Republic, and spending the entire broadcast referring to them as Czechoslovakia, despite being corrected repeatedly by his co-host.

    Other contenders:

    1. that Ugly-iti woman (already mentioned on this site)

    2. Troy Barbagallo (can I be the first to point out that his name, in Italian, means “hairy c*ck” ?)

    3. Susannah Carr (why is she still on the telly?)

    4. that annoying blonde with the whiny nasal voice off the travel show

    5. John Hughes (you’re not a philanthropist John, you’re a bald second hand car dealer, and we don’t care about your overdressed trophy wife)

    and over to you…


  127. I thought you were going to say Perth’s Heath Ledger. No one’s got me a picture of Gary Shannon yet.


  128. skink says:

    I wouldn’t class Ledger as a “Perthonality”. he was a genuine international star of real talent. Once you get an Oscar nomination, I think you move onto the A-list, and get the hell out of this town.

    to class as a Perthonality, one must be famous only in Perth, unknown outside, and yet must act as if getting your picture in Holly Wood’s column is equal to an Oscar nomination.


  129. skink says:

    aah…Gary Shannon

    I went to see “Hey Hey it’s Saturday” when they recorded it at Burswood in ’92 or thereabouts. Gary Shannon was a guest on the show as a ‘local Perth radio personality’, but was struck dumb with stage fright. he blew his big opportunity with a national audience, poor lamb, and his star has receded along with his hairline


  130. Heath comes up in the stats. TWOP has enough traffic to appear in many google search front pages.


  131. Frank Calabrese says:

    [No one’s got me a picture of Gary Shannon yet.]

    There is this classic “Pic” from 1978 :-)

    And a more recent pic:

    6PR – the retirement home of ex 6PM Jocks (along with 6IX).


  132. JC Spring says:


    How about the worst council(s) in Perth?

    I nominate Subiaco for pure ineptutide and beauracratic idiocy,
    led by a Mayor and a CEO who with all the vision of Mr Magoo.

    I won’t even go into the extensive list of suspect decisions made by these incompetents’, but at the top has to be preventing small bars from opening within 200m of the existing hotel.

    Maybe the CEO’s holiday house is on the CCC radar, maybe not?


  133. This holiday home. If it’s ugly, tell me where to find it. Yes, this small bar thing is crap. They have finally resolved it in Sydney. Melbourne has so many interesting small bars around. It really does make a big difference to the city.


  134. Anonymous Perthon says:

    I hate to give these guys any extra publicity but did anyone see those two idiots caught for a years worth of graffiti vandalism – one got prison and one got off. Weren’t they a little OLD to be tagging around town? In the picture (in the West Australian) one has his own surname tattooed on his arm! I don’t think you can get any WOP stupider or more pathetic than that.


  135. lisa says:

    Nomination for most stupid story ever in worst newspaper (well this week anyway)…. isn’t it typically intellectually backward not to be able to synthesise competing concepts…. it’s harmless fun AND embarrassing yobboism, where’s the controversy?


  136. Paulo says:

    How about the worst nightclub of the eighties?
    I suggest Pinnochios of Murray Street, What a Dump!, but well patronised since late night clubs were few and far between in those halycon days, SNORT!


  137. CK says:

    Damn it all. I spotted Julie Bishop’s powered roller-skate – a contender for worst graphic design/worst car – outside a worst graphic design shop in West Perth this arvo.

    Sadly, the mobile phone-cam had been left at work, and really I couldn’t be fucked. Bugger, bugger, bugger.


  138. CK says:

    The map’s pretty cool BTW. There’s two of us online at the moment. Hello whoever you are in the UK!


  139. Paul says:

    Yes architecture is fascinating ‘n all, but your site ‘motto’ says it features the worst “Humanity” – yet I haven’t seen you post any of the youtube video’s floating around of the Aust.Day “Mullalloo Riot” or “Cott Girls Gone Wild”… ?


  140. Mostly because I usually prefer original stuff, Paul, however there is a youtube link found by James coming up soon that is better than those.


  141. Brownbook says:

    This movie, currently being shot on campus at UWA, looks like a worthy successor to the Panther films. Is it possible to nominate a ‘worst of future Perth’?


  142. DJ says:

    Don’t know if its been suggested, really don’t care either, but why not start a section or sister site called “best of perth”.

    Also, many people suggest Perth is akin to Los Angele 40 years ago, minus the guns.

    For the antithesis to the viewpoint on sprawled cities and bad planning, check out this post;

    A rather optimistic view of LA. Every time you read “Los Angeles”, replace it with Perth. It’s scary how familiar it sounds.
    My point is, if you complain about Perth not being enough like Melbourne, f*&k off and live in Melbourne. If you want European planning models to enrich the urban fabric, go and live in Europe.
    Perth is great, warts and all.

    Good blog though, I added it to my reader.


  143. I do have my rather good photos of perth via flickr on the sidebar, but 1000 to 1 prefer to see bad. That’s people. There is also another blogger linked with best of Perth architecture on there too. A best of Perth blog would have cobwebs, the occasional sound of a dog barking in the distance and no hits. Talking worst gets people in, but there is much discussion on why people do like some of the things posted there.


  144. skink says:

    Best of Perth?

    Oh Lordy, it would read like some sort of chip-on-the-shoulder weekend supplement to the local newspaper.

    I have been trying to find a terrific feature article in Perth from *Wallpaper magazine in London. It highlighted Perth’s good points, i.e quality of life and climate, whilst making fun of how quiet and timid the place is.

    it had a brilliant photo of a woman holding a baby standing proudly on her new housing block by a “Sold” sign, but all you could see was a rectangle of sand bounded by a super six fence.

    the only quotes I can recall were:

    “like the Swan River, Perth is very clean but also rather shallow”

    “why have a revolving restaurant on top of one of the tallest buildings, when all you can see is 50,000 bungalows in every direction?”


  145. skink says:

    I think DJ is missing the point.

    I don’t doubt that nearly all of the contributors to this blog love Perth and would not want to live anywhere else. If they did not love it, no doubt they would have indeed bugg*red off and lived somewhere else. Plenty of contributors have lived elsewhere, and are hoping to bring the best elements of their experience to benefit Perth.

    I think for most of these contibutors here their love of Perth is forever clouded by the distinct possibility that their city is going to be thoughly f*cked up by parochial politicians, dodgy developers, ignorant journalists, opinionated myopic commentators and reactionary NIMBY residents, who conspire to prevent this city from realizing its potential.

    The wonderful tasteless cr*ap that graces this site acts as a constant reminder of what can happen without vision, planning and a desire to have this city measured against world standards.


  146. Frank Calabrese says:

    hmm, it seems Sue Walker may walk away from that train wreck known as the WA Liberal Party.

    Time for an update to Party Troy;s post.


  147. Perthgirl says:

    Is it just me or are there way too many people driving around cars with personalised plates? And some of them are truly shocking – VANILLAICE, 4U2CMEFLY and YAHBABY to name a few. A nice little category I think


  148. There are a few plates in here PGirl under the worst car caregory. This is still the one to go for.


  149. DJ says:

    Hi Skink,
    Cheers for your reply. Please elaborate on the world standards though. World standards in planning, density, aesthetic? Please list the world standards and their attributes you’d like to see taken on in Perth.

    I don’t believe that anyone of these parochial politicians and Laissez Faire developers you refer to are conspiring at all. I am of the opinion that it is exactly these people that have already brought these “world standards” to this city, only to be interpreted poorly or accepted without question by uneducated planning authorities and the more complacent general public. Did someone say Public space?

    We also come from the mentality of the quarter-acre. With that comes Suburbia. Ask any member of the general public if they are willing to give up their backyard, or their quiet, or their 1.5m side boundary setback. I will be the first one to support anything that enlivens the city, and I am also a huge advocate for density. I love it, it is the most environmentally sustainable solution for cities hands down. But the majority don’t.

    We’ve had too much space for too long. And to every action (everyone getting their space) come a reaction (the endless decentralised city. the lifeless freeways, the noise restrictions). You can’t have it all, and Perth has chosen. We are democratic aren’t we? If it was to be another way, I’m sure it would.

    Perth has taken on an organic nature of its own, an endless abyss of suburban nests spreading north and south for hundreds of kilometres, geographically confined by the ocean and the hills. If you can’t handle this huge landscape made entirely from concrete and quarter-acre lots, interspersed with fuel stops stocked with mrs macs pies and expensive soft drinks you don’t need, then stay away as I don’t think there is any likely hood its going to change without petrol prices trebling. But you can already see a reaction to this, more fuel efficient cars that can still push you all the way out to your nest in the suburbs.

    I also have lived in Europe, and America and the people I stayed with would give their right leg to have the open space that we enjoy, and the lifestyle. And the quarter-acre.
    Perth is how it is. It could be better. Such as a train to the airport perhaps? Anyway, the more I read this site the more I love it, just as TWOP does.

    Look forward to hearing from you Skink. Keep up the posts, this site is fantastic.


  150. An excellent and thoughtful comment DJ. A comment like this every now and then raises TWOP above just slagging off. Don’t do it to often DJ, I have to keep my 80% slagging, 20% thoughtful quota!


  151. Other than making the ” we live in the best of all possible world” logical fallacy what does DJ have to offer ?


  152. DJ says:

    Is there something more that should be on offer Bill?


  153. lisa says:

    The other week I saw an electric blue Subaru WRX with the plates ‘Oedipus’. My mind truly boggled. I wished i could see the driver.

    I did bugger off and live somewhere else for 6 years and it really sucked (Canberra). I visited Sydney and Melbourne a lot to get away from Canberra, and despite being big exciting cities they pretty much sucked too. They’re big, the people are stuck up and bogged down, and they’re too far away from here.

    I missed Perth SO much, even and especially the bad things like the not very bright public debate, the hoons, the demolition, the ugly cars and buildings and eavelessness….

    I check out this site and ‘Perth’s best architecture’ every day and they both make me look around with new appreciation of it all. (and they cover some of the same things sometimes like Midland Train Station).


  154. skink says:


    gorblimey, where do we start?

    yes, Perth has a wonderful lifestyle, climate, standard of living etc, and we all love our quarter acre blocks (if only I had one)

    you didn’t read my last posting carefully – we all love Perth and I agree that I’d much rather be here just now than in my old flat in London, but this city has taken its good luck for granted for a long time, and needs vision for the future

    but since you want some areas that can be improved, and that Perth does badly, here we go:

    1. Planning – I agree with you that Perth needs higher density, or should we say mixed density. The sprawl is becoming too great and the infrastructure does not keep up. Personally I live close to the city so don’t give a sh*t about how far the city sprawls and how long the poor commuters spend trapped on the freeway in their single-occupant SUV’s, but I would like to see more life in the city centre.

    Alannah made a great comment last year about Perth people building McMansions on big blocks in the middle of nowhere, then complaining that the roads/schools/services were not good enough. But why are they allowed to build out there? and why are they allowed to build such bloody awful starter castles?
    My favourite recent example of the idiocy of Perth planning is that they are finally going to build the Mandurah bypass, and before it is even started they are planning a new town on the route to clog it up with local traffic, which is exactly what happened to he last bypass.

    I don’t believe any of the rubbish about ‘organic growth’. Organic growth like an oak tree or like a cancer?

    2. quality – there seems to be virtually no planning controls on the quality of new buildings, both public and private. Developers are allowed to build down to a price, rather than build up to a quality. Just look at all those Indonesian-quality condos, ‘warehouse’ developments that are just tilt-up sheds, and the convention centre as examples.

    3. yes, a rail link to the airport, and a three-lane road. Last week I got stuck on Gt Eastern Highway trying to get to the airport at 5pm – the airport traffic had a lower priority than the drive-in KFC.

    4. the waterfront. endless argument – no good ideas – and every time they do make a change, it is for the worst. they should look at other waterfront cities, study carefully, invest public money, get the best architects, and then leave it just as it is. Do not let developers anywhere near it because we’ll just get another Claisebrook Disneyfication, and it’s not like anone enjoys the ‘riverfront cafe lifestyle’ there, apart from the kids sliding down the hill on cardboard boxes, and a few tossers in Lamonts.

    finally – please stop that tiresome “if you don’t like it, move somewhere else”. you sound like some grunter on talkback radio.

    We are all allowed to live here and criticize our fair city, just as we are allowed to support the cricket team and yet yell abuse at Punter every time he fails to pick the doosra


  155. arthurvandelay says:

    Back to suggestion box matters . . .

    I don’t know if this has already been suggested or even dealt with, but there is a house in Tuart Hill alongside Wanneroo Road that looks like something out of Bram Stoker. I can’t recall the exact location, but it’s on your left hand side as you drive north along Wanneroo Road–either just before you get to Cape Street, or just after (overlooking Acapulco Annies). The house is massive and has been there for as long as I can remember.


  156. I think I know the one AV. I have slowed the Camry, but haven’t stopped yet. A big square thing? Near the place that should get a mention for worst name, The Mighty Quinn Tavern, formerly something like El-Dorado Tavern, or was it San Miguel? I’ve made you think about Wanneroo Rd all the way from japan?


  157. arthurvandelay says:

    Yeah–a big square thing. Perhaps its safest not to venture too close: Jack Torrance might spring out at you from behind a column wielding an axe.

    Can’t recall an El-Dorado Tavern, though the name rings a bell. GWN used to have its headquarters in an Andalusian-style building in the vicinity.


  158. GWN building still there. I am pretty sure now that it was The San Miguel Tavern.


  159. Just a couple of hundred metres to the east of the narrows bridge on the cycle path heaps of “art” objects in the river.
    Perth Frestivus or something.


  160. DJ says:

    Hahahahah. This is good.

    1. On organic growth, dismissing this is just a little too totalitarian.
    In regards to the oak tree and cancer question, whats the difference? If we are talking of a belief in chaotic versus ordered systems here, one remains antipodal to the other, in which case the opinion becomes completely subjective.
    Your definition of “bad” planning is becoming opinionated, and opinion tends to rot an argument. Kind of like cancer does.
    Who is to say that Perth as a living city isn’t just making a quantum though chaotic leap forward in establishing itself at a geographical level. I’m just putting it out there.

    One possible scenario. The bypass is built, then a town on the freeway, then a fuel shortage, what happens then? Maybe the town or towns lose their connection with the CBD, creating a series of new independant nodes that can then develop as their own. Then we get our dense hub in the CBD. Problem solved.

    What could be another scenario. A very very extreme scenario… We instigate planning codes that put walls on the north and south of the city. Giant physical walls like on the Gaza strip, or Berlin in ’89. Rash maybe, but suggesting alternate planning codes and stopping the subdivisions facilitating mcmansions has the same effect. We then contain our development, consolidate our public infrastructure and live happily ever after. 2 million people in an area the size of the western suburbs.

    There is no solution that is more correct for a city, as all the inhabitants of the city aren’t going to want the same thing. A new town that is going to congest a portion of the freeway sounds ridiculous to some (me included), but to others? Sounds like an opportunity for all those first home buyers. A bandaid solution maybe, but its happened as a reaction from another event. Sounds pretty organic to me.

    Have you ever visited Chandigargh? or Brasilia maybe? or Canberra? Planned Cities. I’ve heard they can be quite lifeless. New York was gridded, but as a reaction to congestion in lower manhatten, and to facilitate extremely rapid and volatile growth.

    Maybe a better way tackling the plight of dullsville is within the local. Tackle the City of Perth, and not Perth the City. Anyway next point.

    2. the fact living in a seriously capitalist defined environment is a bad thing.

    and 3. that KFC isn’t as important as the airport.

    I’ve learnt to celebrate and adapt to these things. Not highlight them “as a constant reminder of what can happen without vision”.

    Shheeett, we are seriously clogging this message board up. No one else can get a word in.


  161. Dukes says:

    I remember seeing a house about 5 years ago, I’ve been racking my brains trying to think where it is. But the house is bright blue, the outside garden was a gnome brothel and they had big bright mushrooms painted on the front of the house, in short: it was a hippie crack den. I think it was around morley somewhere. anyone seen it before?


  162. Mez says:

    could I suggest a new category is added so that DJ and Skink can continue their thesis’ ” Worst of debating class” perhaps


  163. lisa says:

    I know that Tuart Hill house. I love that house. And the Mighty Quinn. I don’t know the gnome brothel house but dukes if you remembe the location please do tell us.

    I was thinking some more about Perth and WOP. It’ s a bit like you’ve got a boyfriend that you love passionately because of his innate qualities and you’re just wildly attached to him and you’d never be with anyone else; but his grooming is a bit misplaced and you think he could have better dress sense. You are exasperated because he is so great, but if he’d just trim the nose hair and throw out that grey jumper (and the giant yellow sunglasses) he would be perfect….
    Yet at some level, you wouldn’t change a thing.


  164. Leave the nose hair. It might get long enough to be a creditable moustache one day.


  165. Frank Calabrese says:

    A walk down memory lane – Fat Cat through the Ages :-)

    Bit of Trivia, according to a former relative who was a baby penquin during one of the Miss West Coast telecasts, it seems Percy was rather fond of his booze, and apparently performed drunk and threw up in the Penquin suit.

    And in the 80’s Fat Cat & Percy’s “best friend” was none otyher than Todd McKenney. (PS, Fat Cat’s usual “friend” was TVW 7 floor manager, Reg Whiteman.


  166. skink says:


    I tried finding a coherent argument in your last post, or even something entertaining, but you’ve lost me. i was going to write a reply about Foster’s theories of analogue, digital and nodal cities, but I started boring myself.

    I should know better than to get into these arguments on blogs, it ends like trying to avoid those people in bus shelters that mutter to themselves.

    The field is yours. feel free to have the last word.


  167. Rage says:

    You know what they say about arguing over the internet:

    It’s like the special olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded.


  168. The internet what’s that ? Meanwhile don’t forget Waitangi day ( today) celebrations at the Ling (Sat).


  169. The arguing was reasonably on topic and reasonably restrained. I think it’s fine.


  170. skink says:

    remember the adage:

    never argue with an idiot – they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience


  171. Rolly says:

    Difficult job being a pollie then.


  172. DJ says:

    Thanks Lazy Aussie. I also thought it was reasonably on topic and reasonably restrained, from both sides.

    Skink, pity you had to slip to the level of a pre-schooler and start name-calling.

    I’ll be here to stay, and avid contributor from now on!


  173. lisa says:

    LA, moustaches are even worse than nose hair.


  174. Yes ad hominem ( is not a valid argument tho it would help DJ if you didn’t write in artese.


  175. skink says:

    DJ – actually, the reference to an idiot was to myself, but if you do not wish to take the last word and want to continue the debate here – I am happy to oblige.

    Your argument that unplanned growth will somehow result in market forces determining the optimum city is entirely fallaceous. Your quip about a walled city was irrelevant – I was talking about mixed density.

    I will take your Chandigargh and Brasilia (which were not cities but administrative campuses) and Canberra and Griffith if you like, and raise you a Jakarta, Mumbai, Lagos and Sao Paulo. One wonders if their residents like to “celebrate and adapt” Is it your proposal that we all just sit back and let the city take nature’s course?

    it is always informative to look at Wren’s grand plan for London after the fire, which was rejected, and the current London streetscape which retains its medeival street plan. London could have been like Hausmann’s Paris, but two centuries earlier. Wren was knocked back by recalcitrant naysayers who espoused similar arguments to yours, arguments that look myopic now. During Hausmann’s remodelling they took to the streets and rioted, now the Nimbies just stay home and carp anonymously on a blog.


  176. skink says:

    and thanks for the Latin lesson Bill,

    are you still sore about the kitsch sculptures?


  177. We might have a few minor disagreements Skink but we all know Perth needs fixing up.


  178. skink says:

    we agree on that. this blog does not look at the city through DJ’s rose-tinted “Postcards WA” glasses


  179. Anonymous Perthon says:

    C’mon DJ where is the comeback? I’m enjoying this discussion so don’t deprive me now


  180. cimbali says:

    great discussion guys – just a bit too light on adult concepts and coarse language as specified in the policy.
    Go on say nodal again I dare you.


  181. flynn says:

    What gets me is that when any ‘administer’ talks about getting life into the city, it seems to start and finish on how to open more cafes/bars/restaurants – it isn’t true; build them and they will come, ha! Guys, there is only so much coffee I can drink. If you want me in there give me something to do. Lets see, the bowling alley- closed, Subi markets-closed, Lords – due to close, movie theatres – Subi and city closed, swim in the river -yeah right like I am mad; any diving platform or water plaything for the kids- Mandura even has some – nah. A fountain perhaps , ACT. Is there an open air roller skating rink a la Central Park -free- near the mall; its banned. Or pools like Brisbane river front? The bell tower = eiffel tower, I dont think so. Any ancient ruins to wander around? A truly artists /growers market like Melbournes’ South bank? No made-in-china stuff allowed – if you dont make it or grow it you cant sell it. There is a market almost like that up in the Hills and it gets loads of people. Or Darwin’s night market is a tad popular with the locals and tourists. How often does the sound shell have a local band playing the afternoon away sponsored by PCC? A bungy jump from between buildings along Hay St or abseil down QV11- try getting permission for that! Which building has an observation deck ? (No more giant Ferris wheels please) .Where are a couple of Bocce rinks located?
    The best plans allow for a bit of chaos.
    It’s called life.


  182. Pingback: The Player « The Worst of Perth

  183. Dukes says:


    Worst of Perth References

    In the movie “Kill Bill vol. 2” when this transcript takes place:

    Tommy – Did you come straight from Australia?
    Bill – Of course.

    Beatrix – Daddy, I told Tommy that you were
    in Perth mining for silver and… …no one could reach you.


  184. Frank Calabrese says:

    How about a post on the new Sports Stadium at Kitchener Park ? I see the NIMBY whingers have already started over on Perth Now, probably only because of those evil socialists in the ALP sre building it :-).

    If Boozewell said a future Lioberal Govt would build it, there would be cheers from the rooftops.


  185. Frank Calabrese says:


    Worst of Perth References]

    Neighbours or any Aussie Soap, where cast members who are not killed off tend to move to, and are then not heard of or mentioned ever again.


  186. River Ralphie says:

    How about a special ‘The worst of East Perth’ section. The clashing architecture, the ugly colours… I swear that suburb is going to be an inner city slum of the future!


  187. Dukes says:

    Yeah, It’s like the black hole of the earth where people go to disappear


  188. Frank Calabrese says:

    It seems Patti Chong may join Party Troy’s Dream Team in parliament.,21598,23186137-2761,00.html

    I hope the ALP run those pics of her with her Shave For A Cure hairstyle ? :-)


  189. Frank Calabrese says:

    And talk about being a sore loser when losing the contract for providing security on the Busses.

    Mr Ryan has become like his hero and has “left the building” :-)


  190. Everyone who has a blog has the tedious task of deleting spam. Normally it is fairly boring. However this one was almost made for worst of Perth. Quote

    A Look at Shower Curtain Rods

    Shower curtain rods give you a unique opportunity to showcase your sense of style. There are many different styles of shower curtain rods available.


  191. Rolly says:

    Yup, LA. It’s like the Oh! so common confusion between “life style” and the expensive trash promoted by glossy homestyle publications and fancy catalogues. (Good grief; I could go on at some length on that topic.)
    Thankfully there seems to be a reasonable smattering of genuine non-conformists (eccentrics?)in our society to compensate a little for the bovine/ovine/lemming-like behaviour of the mind-free masses who know the price of almost everything and the value of virtually nothing.


  192. cimbali says:

    I know this is not strictly worst of Perth but more worst of Australia but does anyone think the new ABC logo and branding leave a little to be desired?
    The ABC 1 logo is one thing but the red white and blue branding on the TV promos makes me feel fiercely and patriotically… French!


  193. lisa says:

    Great moments in Perth journalism:

    I know the Sunday Slimes is only the 2nd worst newspaper, but there was a feature worthy of the worst in yesterday’s, on the Indian industrialist who’s building the new Taj Mahal for his family in Peppermint Grove.

    Revelations include: The wife is beautiful! They are extremely, disgustingly rich! He works like a maniac! They have a maid! They feel like fish out of water coming from New Delhi to Perth (no shit sherlock!).


  194. The Intellectual Bogan says:

    FC, I had some professional dealings with a certain former Transperth security provider. Frankly I found it terrifying that our policing is gradually being subcontracted to some of these companies. The guy’s office was particularly telling and would make an excellent WOP entry in its own right (think El Paso Sherrif’s office, complete with bars and batwing doors). I’d rather have the bikies doing security.

    And flynn, where and when is this Hills market of which you speak? Is it the one in Kalamunda? If so, I must take another look.


  195. Frank Calabrese says:

    199, and it seems his “Fan Club” has hit the forums defending the firm in question.


  196. flynn says:

    TIB Yes the Kalamunda one -the last time I went the market was on a Saturday but I think it is only one Sat per month – 1st? I scored locally grown stuff and some of the art-work could only have been home- made :) Along with some good stuff too.


  197. Big Texan says:

    Has anyone suggested that phalic thing in the water at Cottesloe Beach? It has some dubious heritage significance, but it looks like scrap iron to me. I’m sure you could find an photo angle to make it look even more hideous.


  198. Mazarina says:

    Bit of a side topic, but still interesting I think. I went to a presentation on Monday held by Dr Enrique Penalosa who was the mayor of Bogota in Colombia. Anyway, the talk was about designing cities for people. He talked about how strategies were adopted to encourage class equality and increase interaction between people. e.g. waterfronts aren’t privatised, building ‘pedestrian highways’ where no cars are allowed – only bikes and walkers, having completely ‘car free’ days, choosing to invest public funds into public transport rather than extending highways, mixing housing density, and making enjoyable public spaces for people to meet in like parks, concert halls, libraries etc. It got me thinking a lot about Perth and it struck me that here is a city that is primarily designed for cars first, and THEN people. Just think of how much more we could gain if we actually walked around and saw other people as opposed to being shut up in our houses, offices and cars. Incidentally, after these policies were introduced in Bogota, the murder rate decreased from 81 in every 100,000 people to 16 in every 100,000 people!


  199. On that topic, the foreshore redevelopment plan is to be released today. It says a lot about Perth that no-one has any confidence that it will be good. Perhaps we will be surprised?


  200. Mazarina says:

    One can only hope! I think the lack of confidence comes more from a disbelief that the plans will actually translate into actions rather than the validity of the plans themselves, since there have been numerous ‘plans’ over the past few decades. Or it might be a seasoned cynicism that even if the plans are carried out, they’ll be watered down to be more ‘cost effective’ (e.g. bell tower, convention centre)


  201. Frank Calabrese says:

    After today’s performance, can you PLEASE do a post on Wilson “I Hate Boongs, and will shout it from the rooftops rtill the day I die” Tuckey ?


  202. Mez says:

    I agree – a national disgrace. I wish he would just take his iron bar and go home.


  203. Rolly says:

    The real worry is that he keeps getting re-elected!


  204. Mazarina says:

    I agree with Rolly – if only he could be discounted as a crackpot fascist, but clearly there are enough people out there who share this disgraceful point of view to keep him in parliament!


  205. lisa says:

    I jumped on expecting to see the foreshore picture. MAN it’s ugly and tacky. Swan Island! Great skyscrapers! Curly bridgey thing! It’s really almost so bad it’s good. It makes Darling Harbour look tasteful.


  206. caide says:

    The new Ikea.


  207. rachel says:

    in case it hasn’t already been discussed, someone needs to check out and take a few pictures of the house on the corner of tweedale and forbes st in applecross.

    words can’t describe it really.


  208. Rachel, someone’s already onto it and have sent me pics. Expect it in a few days.


  209. david says:

    i live just around the corner from it. i have never ever understood it. someone just looooves angles and disjointed …stuff, i guess.


  210. Frank Calabrese says:

    It seems The Sunday Crimes has declard that Govo is WA’s worst school.,21598,23225633-2761,00.html


  211. lisa says:

    All the Ent Cent talk reminds me of the late 70’s and rollerskating at Rollaways just around the corner in the block of Murray St just before the freeway.

    Does anyone remember it?? It was in an old single storey garage which I think might still be there. The floor was plain concrete, with chips and fragments all over it, cigarette butts everywhere, and it didn’t even have an enclosed rink or a hand railing around the side, and there was almost no lighting except a mirror ball so you were always tripping over hapless fallen skaters. The hire skates were terrible with no laces and usually one wheel that didn’t turn at all.

    The saturday afternoon session totally went off, I think it went from 2-4 and if you didn’t start lining up at 12 you couldn’t get in. Then you would wait at least an hour for a bus home because it was Saturday afternoon in Perth.

    It was kind of like preparation for night clubbing – all the individual elements should’ve added up to a miserable godawful experience, but instead it was completely exciting and transcendant. Maybe it was the headspin from smoking Winny Greens, or the repeated concussions.


  212. Anonymous Perthon says:

    lisa, i’m with you on this one, I remember that you really had to know how to skate to get across that concrete floor and obviously I did a very good job in my strap-on orange and yellow skates. I think it also may have been my first sighting of a disco ball in the flesh (so to speak).
    Now can anyone remember “having an eyeball at No3” in the city?


  213. lisa says:

    Yes, the floor had lots of lumps in it. I had white boot skates with pink poly wheels and glitter laces … sigh… Still fell over all the time though.

    Funworld on the corner of Milligan and Murray was fantastic too, but that was more of a proper place with funky lighting and a sound system, and a handrail and carpets and such. Maybe like Eagle 1 as opposed to… I dunno… Tarantellas…

    But no, what is having an eyeball at No3… ?


  214. Anonymous Perthon says:

    That was CB’er talk (as in Citizen Band radio) for a meeting at the No 3 carpark in Perth – the carpark is now a small unpleasant housing estate, next to a hotel whose name escapes me.


  215. River Ralphie says:

    Belmont Park racecourse! This lovely structure with its leaky roof (great for a winter racing venue) and its bad case of concrete cancer and ugly interior paintjob is a definite candidate. The desperate attempt to beautity the main entrance with a cheesy cheap fountain and a few potplants is laughable and only exceeded in its ugliness by the big potholes and the rust-stained utility shed that abuts the secondary entrance. It may be difficult to get a photo until the 1st weekend in May though, because they don’t start racing back there until then.


  216. Frank Calabrese says:

    [It may be difficult to get a photo until the 1st weekend in May though, because they don’t start racing back there until then.]

    But if Lazy Aussie goes there when Trackwork is on he may get an elusive shot of Brian Burke, as Bob Maumill trains a couple of his horses :-)


  217. I would expect it to have a worthy carpet. Yes?


  218. Mazarina says:

    ooh a shot of Burkie – now that would be a coup for TWOP! a shot of Burkie at the track – pure gold! everyone seems to think he holds the reins of power in WA – not so, it’s actually the panama hat that is the puppet master. Burkie is simply the hat’s conflated means of conveyance.


  219. And Bob Maumill introduced Brian Burke to Laurie Connell.


  220. Rolly says:

    @224, LA

    …..and look what became of poor not-so-old Laurie :(


  221. greg hoey says:

    Anybody seen the new sculpture of Bon Scott by chance. I think they were going to open it up for public viewing over weekend. Its by an early art teacher of mine- greg james. Easily the best of em too I might add. Art teachers that is. Neither arrogant nor uninvolved like so many others [because he was not entrenched within the system I suppose at the time]. And a brilliant technician esp when it came to bronze foundry work which I absolutely hated. SOooo much casting and grinding and frigin around. Had him in 1979-80 after had fallen out with most of the other teachers at claremont art college.

    Have seen a few of gregs public commissions around and generally he’s very good as public type sculptor. And thats saying lot considering I been obssessed with the human form since knee high to a twig and can be very critical of other artists that attempt such things as the human figure [probably why the claremont stuff happened].

    Anyway hope he managed to capture Bon Scott’s sly toothy grin in way that does the man justice.


  222. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Anybody seen the new sculpture of Bon Scott by chance]

    See Ent Centre thread for a link to the Perth Now article with happy snaps of the event.


  223. Bring Back Barry Barkla says:

    No mention of Perth’s reputation for having some of the worst drivers on the road. Failing to keep left, cutting corners, indicating after the fact. Stop signs?! They’re for pussies!!!


  224. Rage says:

    A “merge”? Christ, I better race that guy next to me and cut him off before her gets in front… where’s my horn? BRAKE! BRAKE!


  225. River Ralphie says:

    @222 LA

    Mostly cold concrete flooring with peeling paint downstairs, apart from a chunk of burgundy carpet laid off to one side of the bookies ring. Some terrible carpet upstairs in the members area from memory…


  226. Rage says:

    Oh, and although this will probably place you at risk of mob attack/ yet more google searches for ‘hot naked brothel naked nude boob naked nudes’ (oops), what about Bikini Girls? I got a flyer on my car this friday as I was parked outside of Clancy’s. Hilarious, disturbing and hilariously disturbing. I’ll have to scan the flyer for you, but the business itself deserves it’s own post, I think.


  227. I have photographed the establishment, but have not posted it. Perhaps I won’t.


  228. Laser says:

    Talk about ‘fusion food’. I saw a display recently with ‘fusion’ cultural events featuring rats, kangaroos and koalas all ‘hung’ up like a Chinese BBQ meat display. Would have made a great photo! Alas display has been taken down.


  229. skink says:

    Last Friday’s Fin Review magazine had a feature entitled “the Good, the Bad and the ugly” about “brash new millionaires” in the “Wild, Mild West”

    it has a great photo of Luke Saraceni outside his McMansion leaning on his Ferrari. It deserves a posting on your site under ‘worst humanity”, but I’m not sure it conforms with your rules about original content, and slagging off litigious rich folk.


  230. adam1975 says:

    Everytime I read this blog, it makes me want to start one just like it, but featuring Adelaide’s landmarks. Awesome work, LA.


  231. flynn says:

    Ok Cimbali, I give up,
    failing eyesight is my excuse – so what is the avatar? At least it isn’t as scary as TT’s – now that does qualify as the worst.
    BCF’s is a good clear image which imparts some knowledge or understanding – the guys a pot head?


  232. Mez says:

    you could call your blog “The Cliched in Adelaide”


  233. I assume it’s a Cimbali coffe machine


  234. Bedfords Crackpot Fraternity says:

    Ouch Flynn, a tad unfair! Degrees in design, media and nearly 20 yrs in animation, design and special effects, work screened nationally and internationally, considerable sustainable design background and yes – left field, but sorry not a pothead!!


  235. Frank Calabrese says:

    [I assume it’s a Cimbali coffee machine]

    That is indeed correct :-)

    I note that the Troy of Boozewell has suffered another case of Foot in mouth regarding his claims of the Fiona Stanley hospital having no obstetrics dept, when in fact that the Minister told the parliament 10 months earlier that said obstetrics dept had been delayed and will included in stage two of the hospital.


  236. Flynn, go here

    Even a cracked pot can add their picture easily apparently.
    I think it means crack head, not pot head.


  237. Bedfords Crackpot Fraternity says:

    Should’ve been Bedfords Hatstand Asylum! I must have more wine, I demand more wine!


  238. Bento says:

    LA @ 232 – Do you refer to the Bikini Girls on William Street? If so, you’re going to have to post it under ‘Vanished Worst’ – as far as I can tell, the establishment was in business for less than a month.


  239. Really!!?? I took the pic when I visited (I mean photographed) the ex Asian Brothel at Jaded House. Gone already?


  240. Bento, you have a gravatar! It takes a little while to filter through apparently. Seriously, is Bikini girls gone? Who was it had a flyer for them? If they are out of business, I will post the shot and the flyer if someone has it.


  241. flynn says:

    BCF, I like yours, succinct and legible – who says modern educashun is useless.


  242. River Ralphie says:

    LA @246

    The one on Canning Highway near Canning Bridge is still there, next to one of the most unattractive tattoo parlours around (and that’s saying something!)

    LA, are you a North of the River person or a Southie?


  243. Do I look like a banjo strumming albino? North of course!


  244. Rage says:

    LA: I had the poster/ flyer. Or I have it. Somewhere.

    Anyway, if the incredibly well written flyer is anything to go by, they’re not disappearing. They’ve got plans for one in Kal and one in Darwin, I think. Also, there’s still one on Canning Bridge, one in Freo. Both on prime real estate.


  245. Angela says:

    Has anyone suggested Futuro, the spaceship on the corner of Leach Hway and Karel Ave? It may be gone, but it lives on in my memory. I have such vivid memories of always wanting to go play on it, and then being so disappointed at just how lame it was once there. Nonetheless, next time my Mum drove past I would feel that urge to play on it rising again…


  246. Wasn’t the place called Nurdi Park? Those buildings are much sought after and ultra expensive these days. I saw one in NZ recently. They were charging $2 to go in.
    Here’s one of the many sites dedicated to them.


  247. Bento says:

    Sorry LA – took me a while to get back to this thread…

    As far as I can tell, the one on William Street is no longer operating. It’s certainly no longer advertising its wares by way of a garishly painted frontage, anyway.

    While you were out that way, did you happen to get a pic of the weird tinfoil cladding on the upper level of Dashije (almost directly opposite, I think)? What’s the deal with that?


  248. Bento says:

    Found this:,21598,22697249-2761,00.html

    Ye Gods! A house of ill repute, so close to pizza parlours attracting families! Please, won’t somebody think of the children?!

    While you’re at it, the Salvation Army ‘Perth Fortress’ isn’t the most inviting structure I’ve clapped eyes on.


  249. The fortress was great as a video studio. As a religious crackpot fortress, ridiculous. Wasn’t Hung Long cafe near there?


  250. Frank Calabrese says:

    [The fortress was great as a video studio. ]

    I believe that several sex scenes involving Noni Hazelhurst in “Fran” were shot there as well as several episodes of that really tacky Kids Religious Show from the 80’s “Sing Me A Rainbow”. One of the segments featured Kit Bergin & “Cookie”.

    I wonder if they are still around, or they have gone to the great TV Studio upstairs ?


  251. The Amused Observer says:

    Isn’t this very TWOPish?


  252. Rolly says:

    Nah. He’s a Pom.


  253. Frank Calabrese says:

    We need a post of Dodgy Cyclone Names as I just heard of the latest one – Cyclone Pancho.



  254. Angela says:

    Aw man! How come Perth’s Futuro house didn’t have an alien riding a flamingo outside of it??

    $2 is a lot of money to pay considering there was nothing inside except some dust a couple of empty Masters Choc milk cartons (which, of course, were in the spaceship, waiting to be delivered to Hillary’s Boat Harbour for the Milk Carton Regatta, highlight of the Perth festival calendar).

    Speaking of the Regatta, I hear from fellow Perthians that it is being cancelled. Please tell me it’s not true. There is nothing funnier than a bunch of scouts and youth groups crashing milk carton vehicles into the greasy, polluted, algae-ridden waters of Hillary’s. A golden day out for all.


  255. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Speaking of the Regatta, I hear from fellow Perthians that it is being cancelled. Please tell me it’s not true. There is nothing funnier than a bunch of scouts and youth groups crashing milk carton vehicles into the greasy, polluted, algae-ridden waters of Hillary’s. A golden day out for all.]

    Along with such cultural icons as the Ch 7 Bathtub Derby, the Ampol Hole In One Day and the Ch 7 Birdman Rally at Yanchep


  256. Frank Calabrese says:

    I note that the Love You Perth video features Honorary TWOP member Ron Gomboc and features a departed Worst – Pioneer World.


  257. Ah Pioneer World. I remember it well.

    But who would a thought that a replica of Anne Hathaway’s cottage would not turn a dollar? Incredible!


  258. flynn says:

    Now I know that Our Airport could rate an entire web-site as to its worst features, but surely its name is a TWOP contender.
    Consider: Charles De Gaulle, Tullamarine, JFK, Heathrow, Kingsfordsmith,O’Hare,Da Vinci, and we have Perth Domestic and Perth International Terminal (the PITs literally). Talk about inspiringly dull.
    How about a contest for a better name! WAC can’t seem to fix any of the parking (cars, taxis and planes) problems, so lets get a superficial feelgood change they might manage.
    The possibilities – Burke? Court, Snr or Jnr ( one for each terminal)? M Ward? G Hoey?….. Twop?


  259. Frank Calabrese says:

    How about the Ben Cousins Airport – geddit, Flying High :-)


  260. I actually like Hoey International best.


  261. Frank Calabrese says:

    [I actually like Hoey International best.]

    With an Art Installation featuring Sheila McHale and a Single White Lesbian :-)


  262. Devnull says:

    the new transperth ticketing system…… nuff said.


  263. Frank Calabrese says:

    Carps reckons the Domestic Airport is an embarrassment. :-)

    Time for some happy snaps :-)


  264. Carps wouldn’t know an embarrassment from Julian Grill’s arse. However he is right this time.


  265. flynn says:

    hey , this is getting spooky. I ranted about the city development, next day, out comes the foreshore dream. I talk about the airport and Carps declares it an embarrassment. Is he reading TWOP and my posts? Or is it just a coincidence????


  266. It would be hard to believe that his people are not keeping up with TWOP. I know they love The West stuff.


  267. poor lisa says:

    The airport was fantastic in the 70’s. There was only 1, I think it was where the International is now?
    It had an open air bar on the roof and it had a little garden outside the terminal, on the runway side, with a pond and black swans and a ‘welcome to perth’ sign.
    It was just so cute and small-town.,6,6,B/l962&FF=Xperth+airport+photo&searchscope=1&Da=&Db=&p=&SORT=A&4,4,,0,-1


  268. Rage says:

    So, Carps- why the photo of you with the giant plush dolphin mascot at the opening of Dolphin Quay in Mandurah?

    Le cringe, my friend. Le cringe.


  269. River Ralphie says:

    Under worst Perthonalities, I nominate Rove McManus. He annoys the s$%t out of me with his puerile humour.


  270. skink says:

    whatever happened to the kangaroos at the airport?

    did someone cull them? (touchy subject)

    nothing quite says ‘welcome to australia’ as well as a small paddock full of surly flearidden marsupials behind a chainlink fence


  271. poor lisa says:

    Except a paddock full of culled national symbols.


  272. Martin says:

    I have some public art from around Cockburn that I’m dying to take some pictures of. Doesn’t get quite the exposure that the train station mugshots do, but it’s pretty much just as awful. One is a ‘YOUTH R KOOL OK?’ anti-graffiti mural under a railway bridge.

    Another is… fuck, I don’t exactly know, I’ve only seen it driving past (it’s located at a round-about intersection of 4 major roads, pretty much the worst place for any art to be)… It appears to be 3 dogs heads cast in bronze, decapitated and elevated on limestone pedestals. I have no idea what it’s supposed to mean. ‘Beware, bikies’ perhaps?


  273. Riz says:

    James – (47) – I know the house on Wanneroo Road well – with the dead tree painted red in the front yard.

    My kids and I used to pass it every day and call it “Mr Whacko’s house”. We guessed that he was a veteran who’d gone off the rails and had surrounded himself with a make-shift Faraday cage as protection from the radiowaves…..


  274. Jack says:

    This has got to feature as The Worst of Perth:

    A half sized replica of the London Eye. I’m pro development on the foreshore, but what is next, a half sized Stature of Liberty on Heirisson Island?

    I read that it is only temporary, but I am sure we could be more creative.


  275. I might feature this on the next weekend worstoff. A double sized. Now that would be talking.


  276. skink says:

    and what might you see from the top of this Not So Big Wheel?

    50,000 bungalows in every direction

    you’d get a better view from Mount Eliza


  277. Frank Calabrese says:

    [and what might you see from the top of this Not So Big Wheel?]

    Lots of targets for bored yoof to throw things at :-)


  278. flynn says:

    Just re-read my #186 where I specifically stated, No more giant Ferris Wheels please. Melbourne’s one isn’t even up and running yet and we are copying their copy.


  279. skink says:


    totally agree with your comment 186 – you can’t plan for life and culture, it grows where people congregate. Perth has some great facilities (our kids love the pirate ship at Bluewater, and you should try the pontoons at Matilda Bay if you want a swim), but they still don’t attract the crowds. If they do attract the crowds, like the kids centre in Leederville, then the locals complain about the noise and it gets shut down. Bars open in King Street, only to be shut down because they disturb residents in the loft apartments upstairs – apartments marketed as ‘living the King Street lifestyle’

    Perth is sleepy because folk like it that way. It may change when the population tops two million


  280. Rolly says:

    What he said.
    Spare me the “…madding crowd.”


  281. Skunk to a certain extent what you say is true ; but Dublin is a more vivacious city than Perth with less population; you also have to take into account Perth’s isolation. The biggest factor in Perth’s dullness (IMHO) is its sub urbanity.
    Another thing shit awful politicians.
    She-Ra wants the giant Ferris wheel , because the foreshore “is underutilized space”. Carps agrees basically because taste comes out his arse.


  282. skink says:

    Perth must stop comparing itself to European cities – they have greater population density and more effective public transport systems developed before universal car ownership. better to compare Perth to Albuquerque – nodal suburbs linked by freeways and a CBD that is vacant at night

    I agree that suburbanization is the problem – but it’s what people want. They might say they want to live in cutesy village comunities, but they want a double garage, and freeway access to work, and a 24 hour supermarket within a five minute drive. It doesn’t matter what crap they put on the foreshore, at 5pm the whole city will still be on the freeway heading home for a few tinnies( or chardies) in the back yard. Not many folk in Dublin have a back yard, and the weather is not suited to the barbie. Best stay huddled inside the pub near the fire with a warm stout.


  283. Rolly says:

    Got it in one, Skink.


  284. skooter says:

    Hate to go back – but i just found this site…

    Greg (post 58) – go find the McCubbins in the art gqllery, then go see year 12 perspectives…

    love that joint!


  285. Some of the year 12’s were quite good this year.


  286. Lannie McT takes a swipe at the airport.
    The devil is in the detail with those Airport bastards however.


  287. Mez says:


    Hate to take the place of Greg – but –

    do you really think that it is the function of the State Gallery to have an annual exhibition of high school art students?
    I’m not sure if even Fred McCubbin got a gig at the NGV until he actually proved himself as an artist worth exhibiting.


  288. skink says:

    re the Airport:

    are we all voting the West’s poll to suggest a name for the new airport? They have suggested Rolf Harris or Heath Ledger International Airport (no, really)

    The published plans show a small building for local air traffic which is annotated “Terminal WA”, which I think is an excellent name for the airport as a whole, as in ‘terminal illness’


  289. Mez says:

    I just voted for L.A. International Airport


  290. poor lisa says:

    295 I agree with greg, if that’s what he would say. But just in case he wouldn’t say it, and he probably wouldn’t if one of us agreed with it, because remember we’re a bunch of elitist arts conspiracists from middle class backgrounds, I agree with you mez

    296 I don’t believe you. Aren’t there any WA aviators it could be unimaginatively named after? or war heroes or something?


  291. skink says:

    don’t believe me?

    Oh ye of little faith:

    Vote Now for Pam Casellas International Airport!


  292. Bedfords Crackpot Fraternity! says:

    Are we any closer to a “Worst Pollies bad hair day” – I know Allanah “mad as a cut bivawacker” leads the charge and would win hands down but where are we on this – I saw a cut the other day on Allanah that seriously looked like someone moved the bowl halfway through the fringe!!


  293. skink says:

    Yes! I have been meaning to nominate McT as ‘worst haircut’, but was unable to find a photo of her cut ‘do’

    I know we shouldn’t judge women pollies on their appearance, but right now she looks like she escaped from an institution

    does she cut it herself? in the dark? with a hedge trimmer?


  294. Bedfords Crackpot Fraternity! says:

    I say with a do like that its just “Open Season” – is up there with bad topiary and Howards eyebrows!


  295. The Intellectual Bogan says:

    I’m all for the annual high school students’ exhibition. It gives everyone a chance to realise just how naive and self obsessed they were when they were 18.

    Seriously though, I’m in favour, provided that the selection process is such that what we, the public, see is genuinely the best on offer.


  296. skink says:

    Year 12 Perspectives is consistently the best attended free show at the Gallery (all those proud mums and dads and aunties). it is therefore a bit churlish to bitch about its artistic merits if it brings people to the gallery who might not otherwise darken its doors.


  297. And school children wouldn’t have had the chance to be quoted at length by Paul Murray.


  298. Mez says:

    excuse me but I feel I must churl. I have always seen the Art Gallery of WA as a place that the public should be seeking the best art that they can access in WA. It should be a flagship for the state’s cultural life and give artists (and I do mean all artists including Yr12) something to aspire to. Giving Mum Dad ‘n the kids a good day out is more the territory of Adventure World.

    The Year 12 Perspectives should be held at PICA whose brief is to explore new territory.

    If I was really at my most churlish I would suggest that an exhibition which is a “..celebration of the talents and creativity…” would be more at home in a community hall


  299. skink says:

    nice aspirations, but to all effects AGWA is a community hall, with a McCubbin, one rather nice Ben Nicholson, and a piss poor budget. if they don’t get the numbers through the door, they don’t get the funding


  300. skooter says:

    Nomination for worst architectural nightmare:

    LSD + Crayola = Perth Arena


  301. Rolly says:

    Oh Dear!

    The kiddywinks have used up all the paper.

    Come on Perth: There’s got to be someone in the decision making bureaucracy with a *bit* of aesthetic discernment.

    That plan’s a visual nightmare.

    But it *does* make a statement: One that I would consider best left unsaid.


  302. Rage says:

    @Mez: PICA probably is a better venue for perspectives. (Do they even have the facility for it?) However, it is also international (Japanese students on display here, our students on display in Japan), so I guess there is some merit. As for the selection criteria, well, christ only knows.
    I was one of those self involved art students, and I remember being particularly horrified at the choice of the textile pieces on show for my year.

    At least it’s an exhibition that gets the public wandering through the doors of the art gallery. It’s either that, or bits of old egyptians. Nothing else seems to get through to the public.


  303. The Intellectual Bogan says:

    The Norman Lindsay exhibition seemed to be quite well attended. But not, I admit, quite as well as the sausage machine that was the Egyptian show.


  304. Mez says:

    Nothing against the work that you had exhibited in Perspectives Rage but I still do not see the State gallery as the venue for high school student art, international or otherwise. When I go to State galleries in Melbourne or Sydney I expect to see what curators are regarding as the best quality worth showing to the public and of artists with careers of substance or extraordinary skills. Our gallery seems a grab bag of unconnected curatorial decisions without any real regard for anything aspirational.
    Feeding the public what they want seems to be a uniquely Perth problem and a symptom of bad management at AGWA.

    I guess the reason I’m concerned is that, with all this temporary boom money flying about, without some sort of inspired changes at the gallery we will have missed the chance at proving that WA is not a cultural backwater.
    I honestly think that AGWA could be a flagship for our boom times. With the current program it is very far behind the times.


  305. Mez says:

    but I did love the Lindsay show


  306. skink says:

    I agree, but it requires cash funding from the State Gov,, and since anything remotely edgy gets a “we can’t believe they gave public money for this” response from the West and that terminal boor Ron Banks, then there is little political mileage in it. AGWA does run some good shows with contemporary artists, but needs doorbusters like the Russian and the Eqyptian to cover them. the Indian show was brilliant, but nobody went to see it.

    year 12 is only one of three shows currently on. They went to special trouble putting it in one of the downstairs galleries with plenty of headroom, so you could get in on your high horse


  307. Mez says:



  308. skink says:

    Hoey – here’s your chance

    PICA are “on the hunt” for artists for their residence program

    perhaps with TWOP’s support and vigorous lobbying you can smash the YWL hegemony


  309. Frank Calabrese says:

    [agree, but it requires cash funding from the State Gov,, and since anything remotely edgy gets a “we can’t believe they gave public money for this” response from the West and that terminal boor Ron Banks, then there is little political mileage in it.]

    Can anyone say Robert Mapplethorpe ? That was the last major “edgy” exhibition at the AGWA and The West went into overdrive, and ironically I think it was at the time when Peter Foss was Arts Minister – hardly a raving leftie.


  310. My under 4 quite liked the schoolies pics but was very unimpressed that the WA Art Gallery cafe didn’t have chips. If he knew the word cockamamie, he would have used it.


  311. Frank Calabrese says:

    [My under 4 quite liked the schoolies pics but was very unimpressed that the WA Art Gallery cafe didn’t have chips. If he knew the word cockamamie, he would have used it.]

    If you would’ve gone 100 metres or so to the Trackside Bakery, your son’s potato fix would’ve been satisfied :-)

    But yeah, el trendy cafes would be very wise to cater for the under 5’s whose sole diet is hot chips.


  312. B. Texan says:

    Some of that boom money could be spent like this…


  313. Mez says:

    an excellent idea Big T
    I have thought recently that a Guggenheim Australia based on the West coast would not be a bad idea either


  314. re 316. Also took the boy to PICA after the big gallery where he was shocked to see videos of toys being destroyed.


  315. Mez says:

    that should go a long way in dissuading him in taking up a career in the arts LA… which he will thank you for in the long run


  316. As long as he’s not a journo either.


  317. cimbali says:

    #319 “But yeah, el trendy cafes would be very wise to cater for the under 5’s whose sole diet is hot chips.”

    Yes Frank but then the ultra trendy cafes would be full of under fives, and who really wants that? Not even their parents I expect!
    (All due respect to L Aussie junior)


  318. The Intellectual Bogan says:

    “I guess the reason I’m concerned is that, with all this temporary boom money flying about, without some sort of inspired changes at the gallery we will have missed the chance at proving that WA is not a cultural backwater.”

    This does, of course, presuppose that Perth is not a cultural backwater. Whilst I, for one, would very much like this to be the case, I remain unconvinced.


  319. Rolly says:

    In view of the great quantity of utter rubbish that gets categorised as culture and the narrow perspectives of so many who presume to adjudicate on the subject of what is or is not “culture”, Perth society is possibly best served by being well out of the mainstream.

    Snobbery Rules. OK.


  320. Levon says:

    I’d thought the ad had left our TV screens, but I caught it late last night. The awfulness just came flooding back.

    I’ve been searching in vain for the video on the net, but alas haven’t found it yet.

    The ad I’m talking about? I’ll let the jingle do the explaining:

    On our way to,
    City Subaru.
    Checkin’ out
    All the Subarus.
    Come on down! You’ll
    Get a great deal too!
    When you come to
    City Subaru.
    City Subaru.


  321. rachthetall says:

    Mez: Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t actually exhibited (nor should I have been, trust me). I was just suitably outraged, as any good 17 year old should be, at their choice of textile work when I knew the work of some of my classmates was approximately one million times better. I do agree that it is not international standard and should be exhibited somewhere like PICA. But WAAG is disjointed and terrible anyway. And so empty when there’s nothing impressionist or artifact-y around.


  322. Rolly says:

    @328 Levon

    Dreadful it is.
    More dreadful is that a couple of goodlooking shiela’s and a male muso were so desperate for cash that they took this gig.
    Even more dreadful is the thought that some idiot was prepared to pay to put this to air.
    However the sheer awefulness of it does fix the name of the car sales mob firmly in the mind.
    Horror does strange things to the memory.


  323. skink says:

    didn’t we decide that ” I wanna, I wanna, I Wanneroo Mazda” was even more grating than City Subaru? just thinking about it makes me want to go postal


  324. Levon says:

    Apparently the City Subaru chick used to date one of the Eagles and gave Idol a crack, too (but failed).

    As a writer, I truly cannot imagine penning the lyrics to that song without reaching for a bottle of booze and a straight razor afterwards. It’s soul crushing, the song-writing equivalent of producing wedding videos.


  325. They ran me out of town. I’m Nick the devilish dealer from Phoenix Holden Wannerroo.
    There was also Annie OK from Wild west Hyundai.


  326. David Cohen says:

    “I want your business, and I’m prepared to pay for it.”

    “Just over the Causeway in Shepparton Road, Victoria Park.”

    “Zoom zoom!”

    and my fave:

    “You’re bang at the centre of a great Ford deal!”


  327. BrownBook says:

    But, Big Rock Toyota are cheaper (cue drums).


  328. Frank Calabrese says:

    But the prize goes to the late “Naughty” Don Rogers, doing Troy Buswell before it was fashionable with his ditty “I’m going Mad With Money”.


  329. Frank Calabrese says:

    [But, Big Rock Toyota are cheaper (cue drums).]

    But who remembers their Jingle which had terrible words sung to Running Bear.


  330. And their rock isn’t that fucken big either. more like modest rock Toyota.


  331. Frank Calabrese says:

    [They ran me out of town. I’m Nick the devilish dealer from Phoenix Holden Wannerroo.
    There was also Annie OK from Wild west Hyundai.]

    And there was Phil Backshall, He;s the part of the time, with ads voice by Cousin Trevor, aka Gary Shannon :-)


  332. David Cohen says:

    “he’s a part of the town”, Frank.

    what was the one where a woman was cooing over Brian Gardner?


  333. BrownBook says:

    “Trevor Hancock, you’re a softie” – did that guy sell cars?


  334. Levon says:

    I’m amazed a marketing department thought putting the word “softie” in a slogan with someone named Hancock wouldn’t backfire in any way.


  335. Bento says:

    Newcastle, Newcastle, Newcastle Street.


  336. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Newcastle, Newcastle, Newcastle Street.]

    Ahh, good old Bruno Napolitano, of 6EBAFM Italian Radio fame and failed candidate for the Italian Parliament when they first allowed expats to stand in an expanded parliament.


  337. Bento says:

    Blimey Frank – is there anyone you don’t know??

    BTW – I knew the original Captain Cleanup. He told me the Cleanupmobile was an absolute pig to drive, with about a 20 degree range of visibility.


  338. Frank Calabrese says:

    [BTW – I knew the original Captain Cleanup. He told me the Cleanupmobile was an absolute pig to drive, with about a 20 degree range of visibility.]

    I’m surprised they licensed it in that condition, btw, it makes an appearance every year in the Xmas Pagaent, where for many years they allowed the vehicles towing the floats to be driven without number plates.


  339. skink says:

    another day, another shoddy architectural scheme,21598,23695279-5017009,00.html

    behold the new microbrewery planned for the gaping hole in James Street, seemingly built on the idea of “let’s make it like Little Creatures, but with, like, coloured bits” They seem to have forgotten that LC has harbour views, and this has views of kebab shops.

    I particularly like the line:” it will cater for the older more sophisticated market”. Bet that’s the first time you heard the words ‘Northbridge’ and ‘sophisticated’ in the same article.

    “If they have an Italian theme we might be able to brew some Italian beer and serve Italian food.”

    I hope it is not too insulting to our Italian correspondents on this site to point out that the Italians are to beer what the English are to opera.


  340. Frank Calabrese says:

    [I hope it is not too insulting to our Italian correspondents on this site to point out that the Italians are to beer what the English are to opera.]

    Yep, it should be Italian wine and/or Grappa with the good ol Spag Bol.


  341. skink says:

    quick! check out the typo on the West’s website:

    ” Chinese wecome says Twiggy Forrest”

    Twiggy later goes on to say: “this chicken is rubbery”

    I took a screen shot for weekend worstoff

    note also that ‘accellerate’ is wrong in the adjoining story

    quality product


  342. skink says:

    too late, they corrected it.


  343. poor lisa says:

    Man that piazza is ugly.
    I think there was a line in the worst about the micro brewery attracting women! and sophisticated people.

    Not that there aren’t a lot of ladettes out there, but note to developers: young women like clubs and bars, middle aged women like Cino, and old women like Dome. FACT.

    They don’t mind going to micro breweries, but you can’t say it will ‘attract’ them. Especially not with a view of a kebab shop.

    and skink you’re being a bit generous there… Little Creatures has views of a stagnant corner of fishing boat harbour. It’s a boring crap place in the middle of nowhere that’s hard to get to, and the times I’ve been there with kids I’ve spent the whole time chasing them up ladders before they fall into a vat of roger. Very family friendly.


  344. The Intellectual Bogan says:

    “the times I’ve been there with kids I’ve spent the whole time chasing them up ladders before they fall into a vat of roger. Very family friendly.”

    It probably won’t comfort you to know that the story about proper cider having a dead rat as one of its ingredients isn’t an urban (or even rural) myth.

    Maybe LC are trying to give their beer a bit of flavour…….


  345. Frank Calabrese says:

    [and skink you’re being a bit generous there… Little Creatures has views of a stagnant corner of fishing boat harbour. It’s a boring crap place in the middle of nowhere that’s hard to get to, and the times I’ve been there with kids I’ve spent the whole time chasing them up ladders before they fall into a vat of roger. Very family friendly.]

    and Ironically it was featured on Tonight’s Getaway – James Lund was doing a story on Freo by Scooter, and no there weren’t any shots of Poor Lisa chasing her brood, but a cringeworthy bit of banter between Lund and “Digger” the Brewer.


  346. skink says:

    did I say I liked Little Creatures?
    (I mean the brewery, I admit to being partial to the pilsner)

    chasing the little ones up the ladders to view the crap art is one of the joys of LC, along with waiting for an hour for a table on a Sunday.

    at least they have chicken wire on the balconies so the little darlings can’t hurl cutlery onto the tables below

    I had hoped that the changes to the licencing laws might have given us some small cosy bars, but we get another beer shed instead.

    where did they get the idea that microbreweries are sophisticated? clearly they haven’t been to the Feral Brewery on a Sunday. I’m never sure whether the name refers to the beer or the patrons


  347. poor lisa says:

    Chicken wire on the ‘terrace’ too.

    Sorry skink I just got the impression you liked the ‘harbour views’.

    Maybe sophisticated in Northbridge is a relative concept – meaning, not wearing a kappa tracksuit, and preferring beer to Special K


  348. David Cohen says:

    skink, can you send me the screenshot of the Wecome image?


  349. skink says:

    done – to your amnet address


  350. Frank Calabrese says:

    [where did they get the idea that microbreweries are sophisticated? clearly they haven’t been to the Feral Brewery on a Sunday. I’m never sure whether the name refers to the beer or the patrons]

    Oh I agree, listening to the scanner during Spring In The Valley revealed quite a few fights and assaults at said brewery – what an apt name.


  351. skink says:

    Spring in the Valley sounds so bucolic

    you imagine lambs gambolling through the daffodils

    but the reality is bogans puking in barrels


  352. Frank Calabrese says:

    For all his posturing on sexual deviants etc, Howard Sattler better be careful when he next visits Florida that he isn’t mistaken for his Namesake.


  353. That vacant site has a lot of memories for me. For one I saw TISM there who were fantastic, and also I did my first stand-up performance in the cocktail bar.


  354. Rage says:

    “…and preferring beer to Special K”

    Maybe that’s the special Italian brew combo they’re referring to.

    Bringing families to a microbrewery in Northbridge is as bad an idea as bringing them to Little Creatures.


  355. CK says:

    I’m not sure whether to suggest this under WOP, WOWA, or WOTW:

    But pic on p3 of Teh (print version – can’t find the pic online) Oz today. It just aches for a caption contest.

    As we all know, our brave pioneers in the NW were accompanied by:

    1. Pioneer laundromats (thus ensuring daily freshly washed Country Road kit, or similar from Claremeont).

    2. Pioneer hair-stylists accompanying above.

    3. Horse: ‘Nicole is tickling my nuts exactly why? She strikes me as both extremely creepy and weird.’

    4. OMG. They BOTH have breast implants!.

    5.Horse: ‘I. Am. Just. So. Embarrassed.’


  356. CK says:

    Oh sorry, here it is:

    They have no shame.


  357. Frank Calabrese says:

    Ok, who remembers from 1980-81, Channel 7’s Contribution to the “C” Classification, The Underground Video Video Show, which introduced us to the one and only Keith Geary ?

    The opening theme was Kraftwerk’s “The Robots”.

    Also, during Earlybirds later that year, one of their games involving flying spaceships used Split Enz’s Double Happy.


  358. NOR says:

    You might wanna check out (if you already havent) the very old water fountain and lilly pond at the bottom of the kokoda steps in kings park on mounts bay road over the road from the swan brewery.

    It was built in 1864 (from memory) and its just sitting there waiting to fall appart. the beautifull figure of a black swan is eroding away and the pond is empty and full of rotting fig leaves.

    The pond would have looked stunning back in its day and surly is one of the oldest structures standing in perth…. How can they let this go.


  359. Master Chez. says:

    I hope you’ll allow me to publish this, it is a comment I made on the North Port Quay Development, as I’m sure the content posted on the North Port Quay Development Proposal blog is going to be heavily moderated.

    Here’s to free speech!!!

    “I’ll be suprised to see an unbiased point of view on your website so I’ll publish this comment in a few other places.

    As for Ross Minett’s comments on facebook, as a developer you’d think you’d have a bit more sense than being so outwardly bias. Obviously set to reap the financial benefits of this project from your comments. Genius!

    I see you losing a fair bit of support. You can’t gain support from a majority leftist community (Fremantle if you don’t know what that is) when its so bleedingly obvious you are going to be profiting in some way from this.

    Another thing, how many times do you think people are going to be conned into “a good development” because sharky developers throw around words like “sustainbility”.

    All I see is a charade of “keywords”. i.e, If you don’t disrupt the seabed in the first place, you wouldn’t have to regenerate it.

    All housing is going the way you’ve suggested, so its nothing new. Get with the times man. You aren’t cutting edge!

    Sure there is a population pressure in Perth, sprawl is a problem if you see it from that angle. Most don’t for your information, but to move into the sea? How is that possibly sustainable? What about the volumes of concrete, lime, steel and the energy needed to build those islands?
    I’d love to see you factor in the quantities of carbon produced by building these islands, and don’t give that lame excuse that you’ll offset it by planting some trees. With that logic, we’d all be out committing crimes and offsetting them with good deeds.

    Also, a sustainable community wouldn’t promote the use of some 4000 petrol-guzzling boats.

    Here is what happens when I sit in on meetings with you lot. I’m a builder by the way.

    Developer 1:
    Duh, what do we need to get this thing across the line..

    Developer 2:
    Duhhhh, maybe the word sustainbility, usually works. Duhh.

    I look forward to the day this word is further defined so it can’t be so recklessly associated with an environmental conscience. The ACCC are onto you. It won’t be long

    You guys are just lucky that there are less educated people than yourselves. Its what makes the rich richer eh?

    It isn’t that hard to put-forth something really clever. You guys have missed the mark here.

    Good luck getting this one thru. Then again, who said capitalism wasn’t a good thing.

    Your proposal defies logic and is horrendous misconstrued energy-consuming scar on the coastline. The one location in Perth that should be protected before any other.”

    Anyway, love to hear some feedback from you all. Keep up the great work. Stay true to yourselves!

    Master Chez.


  360. Frank Calabrese says:

    Can I suggest Malcom Day for being a Twat and a hypocrite for these comments he made over the desicion by police not to lay charges over certain photographs by Bill Henson.

    [‘If I was to take similar photos and display them in any of our *********.com retail stores, albeit only to adults, coming through the door, they would definately be considered child-pr0n, and here in Western Australia I’d be jailed for that.’]

    And note Mr Day, as a member of the Eros Foundation, donated to Hetty Johnston’s 2004 Senate Bid.


  361. Rolly says:

    There’s always a problem with folks who can never ever get any inspiration from above the waist.
    It’s as bad as the other extreme that refuses to acknowledge that, underneath all the artificial layering of fabrics, we are quite naked.


  362. I get the feeling that you can be found down Swanbourne way quite often Rolly.


  363. Rolly says:

    Nah. I wouldn’t impose that degree of aesthetic abuse on anyone, however deserving.


  364. Dukes says:

    Anyone seen that blue/black torana with the number plates “PROVE IT” crashed facing the wrong way on the kwinana freeway north bound just before mill point road?


  365. Ellis says:

    World’s worst education system? Gotta be WA.


  366. BrownBook says:

    Already suggested by Frank in Fax it West, but yeah:

    Sniffer dogs in schools. Will Sattler run for a seat?


  367. BrownBook says:

    Or should that be

    “we are not a religious party”


  368. David Cohen says:

    Trona, the electronic gladiolus…


  369. skink says:

    WA Family First?

    WA’ the FF…


  370. annofwa says:

    Dear WAFF,

    at LAST!
    people in the West have an party worth VOTING for. What took you so long?
    Finally the balance of power can be held by a DECENT party representing DECENT people.

    The major parties are a DISGRACE: one a squabbling bunch of grubby chair sniffers and fondlers, and the other mob happy to sell our gas to CHINA whilst the pensioners that made this country GREAT sit at home shivering in the cold and eating DOG FOOD. If they had their way there would be small bars and brothels in every neighbourhood and the streets would be full of DRUNKEN WHOREMONGERS.

    Let’s make WA a safe and happy place for DECENT people by real TRUTH in sentencing, no funding for unmarried mothers or illegitimate BASTARD children, no funding for HOMOSEXUALS and other degenerates, restrictions on IMMIGRANTS and other queue jumpers, and lets get the unemployed and the DOLE BLUDGERS in the army and over in Afghanistan where they can do something useful ridding the world of the MOSLEM extremists who want to turn us into a Caliphate. We also need a party with the COURAGE to fully implement the army intervention into aboriginal communities and to find a lasting and FINAL solution to that problem.

    Me and the people like me will be right behind you.

    Please send me an armband as soon as they are available.



    (what do you mean I am only allowed 500 characters – how do you expect me to be so brief SHAME ON YOU)


  371. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Annie where’s the junior diplomats ?


  372. Frank Calabrese says:

    I note on the TEn News item that WA FF has some former One Nation pollies and Graeme Campbell amongst it’s members.


  373. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Trona, the electronic gladiolus…]

    And note she looks a lot like Ljiljanna Ravlich.

    And don’t you need 500 members to be registered as a Political Party ? I wonder how many people Sillyvan has found ? :-)


  374. Frank Calabrese says:

    No Videos on their Yotube page but it will be fun to link to some really dodgy videos :-)

    A few Neuremburg Rallies should do the trick :0)


  375. Frank Calabrese says:

    I just saw on ABC News Max KAy at the WAFF Launch.


  376. Hasn’t Graeme Campbell been in every party except the Mull party? May Kaye? Wasn’t fat cat available?


  377. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Wasn’t fat cat available?]

    Nah, he’ll follow Reece Whitby and be Pre-Selected by the ALP :-)


  378. Rolly says:

    WA Family First?
    More like a Hypocrites Coven.
    If one could have hoped for any way of collecting a mass of sad twisted minds together in one place it would have been hard to have done better than this.
    They’ll be recruiting from the Exclusive Brethren next.


  379. Snuff says:

    Better late than never, I guess. In response to takatde, LA and CK’s comments, ( 81, 82, 83 ), regarding the image on 78 Records’ stickers. It was, (or is, if 78 Records is still open ), Texas blues guitarist Blind Lemon Jefferson. A quick Google Images search suggests this may have been the only photo ever taken of him. He was also immortalised by the track bearing his name on the Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds album The First Born is Dead.


  380. CK says:

    OMFG. Check out page 31 of this week’s Xpress.

    Slavery is cool.


  381. Frank Calabrese says:

    [OMFG. Check out page 31 of this week’s Xpress.

    Slavery is cool.]

    Yeah, just saw it, it’s the latest in fashion for the Howard Sattler Youth :-)


  382. Ken Oaf says:

    Dear Sirs and madam ,
    I’d just like to lend your ears for a sec.
    I have a modest suggestion ; their is a growing thrett amongst our midst : an insidious enemamy, I drew this to the relephant authorites : Howard Sattler and advisedly thePolices , coz I aint no dobber. THis is the pressence of Eastern staters here. Now I no there hear to ern heaps but there different culcha is messing with me mind. . They drive down the road with there Toyota enviro-buster with Rugby Bugger regalia on it ???!! , and then proceed to do a U-turn at a set of lites ???!!! I have to rush inside and turn on 6PR to reassure meself I’m still living in GodZOne.THere as ugly as robber’s dogs so their is no thrett to the women , but still the point remains. God help you if one lives next door. I’ll now turn youse over and do the other side , see yas later.


  383. forkboy says:

    Im looking at purchasing a small nuclear device for personal use only………does anyone have any contacts? Im happy to provide a finders fee.


  384. For Bunbury or the Suck Cess area?


  385. forkboy says:

    Perhaps if I up the ante and suggest a device of around 200 megatons. We could then deal with both sites simultaneously……………..and everything else in between……nice.


  386. Yangebup already have the mutants. Who knows what radiation will do to them.


  387. forkboy says:

    Damn Mutants……..maybe if we could somehow control the zombies from Kwinana then we would have a silm chance of victory. Any idea iof these mutants still have thumbs?…’re pretty well fucked without them….apparently.


  388. forkboy1971 says:



  389. skink says:

    I am surprised that TWOP has not made some comedy mileage out of the recent visit of the Secretary of State of the United States, and the fact that the best that Perth could offer was tea with Stephen Smith’s parents and a visit to a Catholic school.

    can we have a category of “Worst self-promotion by a WA politician”?

    what was that all about? Didn’t Smith’s parents and children believe he was Foreign Minister, so he had to bring home Condi Rice?

    “see Mum, I am important – she’s Secretary of State you know – one word from her and we can nuke Morley.”

    I had hoped that he would bring her to his office in Beaufort Street then maybe a bargain box at Charco Chicken and a swift midi at the Civic, but clearly Smith does not know how to show a girl a good time in Inglewood


  390. Mainly because I really like to have an original picture for as many posts as possible. There really are not that many blogs with so many original pics rather than copied and linked ones.
    I was a little surprised that Woosha and Peter Bell were at the dinner for her.
    “Ah, Mr Worsfold, I’ve heard so much about you. You coached the team of drug crazed dumbarses? And also coached that Mr Chick who looks like Molly Meldrum’s grandfather? And Peter, you captained cringeworthy, embarrassing losers called The Peel Peckers? Then tried to make yourself REALLY look like a winner by living in Geraldton? Village idiot in Bunbury not available at the time?


  391. Frank Calabrese says:

    [I was a little surprised that Woosha and Peter Bell were at the dinner for her.]

    And I wonder how the conversation between her and Troy Buswell went ?

    Did he take the opportunity to show her his party trick using her Brastrap ? Did he sniff her chair ??


  392. CK says:

    As this a suggest, might I point out that LA has fallen down badly by not giving a gurnsey to Luke Steele of the Sleepy Jackson?

    Surely one of the biggest tossers to come out of Perth since, well, Luke Steele.


  393. Ben says:

    That rotating sign on the Murray St Mall near the Carillion Arcade.

    The one that makes the terrible terrible rrrrrrrrIRRIRIIirrRRrrrrrrr noise.

    Worthy of a TWOP video example.


  394. Dukes says:

    While buying lunch in the Brighton Bakery on Brighton rd, Scarborough I noticed chocolate coated marsh-mellow treats called “Penguins” after laughing really loudly and making a dick of myself I took a photo.

    Here’s a link:

    Now to me, they look like little obese Ku klux klan knights that have been face planted into chocolate.


  395. forkboy says:

    LA I will not have disrespect the town of my birth…………..decimate it please.


  396. forkboy says:

    Ive been given the redeployed today for spending too much time online waiting for upates on TWOP……………………………………goodbye employer funded webucation………………….


  397. You’re a gerro man Forky? Ah. And so it begins.


  398. forkboy says:

    I am the villiage idiot……………………Bunbury


  399. toothsoup says:

    took a snap of a sign copy/pasted from office ’97 wordart, if that cranks your handle:


  400. Snuff says:

    I don’t know where this should go, TLA, so I’m just going to put it here. I have a feeling you’re going to like it.


  401. Frank Calabrese says:

    Heads up frrom the Ch 7 Newsmail.

    [And big changes for the Channel Seven Christmas Pageant. We’ll tell you more at six.]

    I wonder what horrors will be inflicted on the public – Troy Buswell playing Santa ??


  402. Rolly says:

    That really is *GOLD*


  403. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Heads up frrom the Ch 7 Newsmail.

    [And big changes for the Channel Seven Christmas Pageant. We’ll tell you more at six.]

    I wonder what horrors will be inflicted on the public – Troy Buswell playing Santa ??]

    And…. It’s Back to the Future, they’re moving it to a Sunday Afternoon and the route will be Riverside Drive, Plain St, St Georges Terrace and finishing in Victoria Ave, and ending with…..

    A Sausage Sizzle.

    Historians should note that the Pagaent was originally held during daylight hours .

    I wonder if Dr Karl whinged about police numbers on a Saturday Night interfering with Operation Nightsafe in Northbridge, as well as Daylight Saving impacting on the start time ?


  404. Rolly says:

    @ 414, Frank,

    Could it be that their trying to reduce their ‘carbon footprint’?
    Now, if the floats were to be propelled by people power that really would be a serious effort. :D


  405. Rolly says:

    ‘Scuse, please, the grammatical error: *they’re* :D


  406. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Now, if the floats were to be propelled by people power that really would be a serious effort. :D]

    The Hare Krishna float and the Scilian club already do :-)


  407. Does anyone know if the foundations being dug on the Eastern side of the causeway are really for the half arsed ferris wheel?


  408. Frank Calabrese says:

    Can I please nominate Peter Van Onselen, former Howard Ministeral Staffer, now a Political Analyst, for basically campaigning for Barnett with drivel like this ?

    [Political analyst Peter van Onselen said the shock move, in the wake of Mr Barnett’s installation as opposition leader after Troy Buswell quit the post on Monday, was a strategic blunder.

    “I think the timing is a shock on a number of levels, I’m surprised that the Premier has made such a cynical political move because one of the great strengths of his premiership has been in not being a politician almost or at least not having that image…” Dr van Onselen said.

    “I think the public are absolutely awake … to Carpenter’s rhetoric that he won’t be basing his decisions on the problems in the Liberal Party versus the reality that this is exactly what he’s done,” he said.

    “He might say he’s not worried about Colin Barnett as leader of the opposition, but his decision to call the election so quickly shows he’s that he’s petrified of him.

    “He’s petrified that, if given the chance to present himself as a possible alternative, that he could win the election.

    “So he’s made a strategic decision which I think is a strategic blunder…”

    But the Labor Party remained favourites, with the Liberals facing an uphill battle to gain the five or six per cent swing needed to win, Dr van Onselen said.

    “I still think the Labor Party are favourites but will be a closer election that it would have been,” he said.]


  409. Frank Calabrese says:

    This is going to be a real fun night – NOT.

    [Saturday 16th August – 2008 Hanson Swan Business Awards
    Featuring WA’s sought after comic act Peter Dee and live band Face to Face
    Venue: Sandalford Wines
    Time: 7.00pm for Pre-dinner drinks – Awards Dinner 7.30pm
    Cost: $120 per person]

    Note one of the Award Sponsors are “Your Local Liberal Team” – I wonder if they will be available despite being smack bang in the middle of an Election Campaign ?


  410. Frank Calabrese says:

    Oh dear, TWOP target Simon O’Brien has been dumped from Colin’s Kitchen Cabinet :-)


  411. Well apart from not responding to my very reasonable query on the opposition’s foreshore policy, he also had a very stupid mo and appears to be an idiot when he appears on TV.


  412. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Deputy leader Kim Hames takes health and indigenous affairs, Norman Moore takes resources development and mines while Simon O’Brien takes transport.]

    Whoops my mistake, he’s still there :-(


  413. Bento says:

    I think Face to Face played at my high school ball, back in the early 90s. Who’d have thought they’d outlast Nirvana…


  414. Frank Calabrese says:


    Can we please have a sticky’ed thread dedicated to the State Election please :-)


  415. CK says:

    Page three. Satdy W*st. Ferris wheel. “Artist’s impression.” “London Eye-style.” Scan pic.

    And here is yer actual London Eye:

    London Eye

    Honestly. I don’t know why PCC don’t just approve a giant Royal Show mechanical clown to complete the picture, especially after they rejected wind-turbines on a St George’s Tce building (you know, like a wind-tunnel, thanks to previous PCC planning decisions) partly on aesthetic grounds:,21598,24134921-5017009,00.html


  416. CK says:

    Oh wait. Giant clown. That’s such a great idea I’ve had.

    It could actually put Perth on the map.

    You know, as the city actually has no geographical location and may, in fact, be floating around in space somewhere.

    Oh fuck. We are. Along with the rest of the world.

    It’s all so confusing. Where is the memorial to John Glenn?


  417. CK says:

    Concept here:

    you could have fooled me

    I’ll shut-up now.


  418. I had been meaning to nominate Christie Allen’s Goosebumps disco song for worst song, but I saw she died in the paper today.


  419. Frank Calabrese says:

    [I had been meaning to nominate Christie Allen’s Goosebumps disco song for worst song, but I saw she died in the paper today.]

    Yes, it is unwise to speak ill of the dead, even if the song itself was rather uninspiring.


  420. Bento says:

    She died in the paper?


  421. I’m giving you a cardiac arrestive stare bento.


  422. Bento says:

    Apologies – sometimes the old student journalist sub-editor in me escapes, despite my best efforts not to be a tedious pedant.

    Which reminds me of the time the former president of the SJA bestowed on one of the lecturers a ‘humorous’ Christmas Party award “for being such a pedantic”.

    The acceptance speech consisted of five words: “I think you mean ‘pedant’.”



  423. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Fell head first into her copy of the Worst. Goosebumps was playing on the stereo.


  424. skink says:

    the Webby Awards for excellence on the intertubes insists that acceptance speeches frr awards are limited to five words.

    famous speeches include:

    Flock The Social Web Browser: “No shit! We beat Facebook?”

    Al Gore: “Please don’t recount this vote.”

    Stephen Colbert: “me, me, me, me, me.”


  425. Frank Calabrese says:

    Via a post on LP, here is some classic Burgo on Wheel Of Fortune.


  426. toothsoup says:

    Saw this on the Esplanade in Mt. Pleasant the other day:

    The picture doesn’t quite capture the size of the thing–it’s about 5ft tall and the sheen of ugly it radiates is visible from the fugging moon.

    Apologies for the blurriness but it was with a mobile phone from a car. Not a bad effort considering, says I.


  427. Snuff says:

    Hi TLA.

    This is an old favourite which people invariably try to refresh a few times before they read it,

    … but you ( and your fellow bloggers ) might be interested in this new take on the theme, should you fancy a little geekin’ around sometime.



  428. Kambo says:

    Hey, regarding the worst architecture, how about worst sustainable practices?

    I am thinking of the places that have the sprinklers system still on and firing away in winter, including during rain.

    It is a pet peave of mine.

    For example – CURTIN University of “Technology”, has planted all these waterwise plants – yet has the sprinklers blasting away throughout Autumn, Winter and Spring, and of course Winter rains and thunderstorms.

    It is groundwater, but they are the SOR’s biggest user of groundwater, with ten bores, according to Curtin sources.

    It’s pretty frikken stupid to have the sprinklers firing away during a thunderstorm and also lay claim to be a centre of “Technology”, what ever that is supposed to mean.

    And yes, I have asked the Uni why this is so – the Answer I recieved was “We don’t turn them off during Winter because we forget to turn them back on for Summer”.

    True. No Lie.


  429. skink says:

    I spotted an item in the community newspaper that is right up TWOp’s alley.

    The Town of Vincent is proposing new signage at the boundary. Apparently the current signs, which read “The Town of Vincent is a Nuclear Free Zone”, are just not snappy enough, and may be a fib if Barnett starts running trucks full of yellowcake through the suburbs in the dead of night.

    there is a proposal to use their new slogan: “Enhancing and Celebrating our Diverse Community” – but that is equally rubbish.

    Nick Catania has suggested running an open competition for the design of the signage and a new catchphrase.

    Given TWOP’s penchant for graphic design, and the consistent appearance of town signage on these pages, it could be the perfect opportunity to stop the carping and contribute.

    My first idea was a sheet of corflute with a new slogan printed in comic sans:

    “Vincent – run like Sicily, but with electricity”


  430. A competition? Sounds good.

    “Vincent – run like Sicily, but with electricity”
    That is very funny.


  431. skink says:

    as the end of the year approaches, I notice that the papers are trotting out their predictable lists of ‘movie of the year’, ‘man of the year’, ‘ best sporting moments’ and so on.

    my favorite so far has been ‘biggest disasters of 2008’

    no mention of Baz Luhrmann on that list.

    will TWOP be having a review of the year?

    a Best of the Worst?

    Man of the Year? (must be close between Carps, Troy and Booze Bus Benny)

    maybe a Golden Worst?

    it would require some sort of trophy. Perhaps a small gold statuette of a kneeling woman with Alsation


  432. skink says:

    how about this medal:


  433. Bento says:

    Would you anticipate the list be compiled through the mechanism of some sort of online poll, skink? I recall that didn’t work out so well last time…


  434. skink says:

    I think this would be a good opportunity for LA to break out the snazzy voting button gizmo

    It might be a chance for Tracy Flick Cohen to pervert the course of democracy, but I am so over that.


    not bitter in the slightest

    it’s not like he would have anything to gain, unless of course he was nominated.

    there could be a category “Worst Spray”


  435. Worst use of obscenity on tv?


  436. David Cohen says:

    You crazy guys. I did a list last year on Rotto Bloggo: it was greeted with tremendous indifference.

    I welcome any online poll. Yet again skink will be crushed like a bug.

    I would like to nominate myself for the TWOP Top Ten. In a story this year I got Dan Mazzotti’s name wrong all the way through the article: I called him Ben.


  437. skink says:

    this guy deserves a TWOP mention:

    a bloke in Bunbury who built his own Tesla coil in his back yard and does party tricks with it

    a Darwin Award waiting to happen


  438. Bill O"Slatter says:

    … an the nominee for worst Perth musical of the year is
    Rock Apocalype
    an the Most curious blog scraping exercize in crativity Perth Apocalypse


  439. Rolly says:

    There are rewards for staying home, not turning on the TV, and doing something constructive.
    This was evidently one of them.
    They’ll have to be mighty good to make a spoof out of a farce, though


  440. skink says:

    I thought the whole point of TWOP was to make a spoof out of a farce

    the Nurry imitators are remarkably adept at it


  441. Rolly says:

    True, very true, Skink.
    TWOPers are the avante garde of the genre.
    But Bill’s reference was to a theatical mob giving it a go.
    If they were to tune in to TWOP they might, just might, stand a chance.


  442. Bento says:

    Skink – I see that as more like making a poof out of old farts.


  443. BIll O'Slatter says:

    Mr Japanese lunch box you are not immune from the implications of Skinks’s “deliberations.”


  444. Bill O"Slatter says:

    I hope everyone’s personning their vantage points for the transport disaster that the Big Day Out usually becomes.


  445. Frank Calabrese says:

    I hope everyone’s personning their vantage points for the transport disaster that the Big Day Out usually becomes.

    I’ll have the scanner going on Transperth Rail frequencies to hear the frazzled CSA’s, Supervisors, PIMS and various security personell doing what they do best. Especially when it is specificallyh mentioned that there will be limited additional services on the Fremantle Line.

    Note the following:


    A normal Sunday timetable will apply, with additional services operating on all lines.

    Passengers are asked to plan their journey by using the Transperth JourneyPlanner (click here to access the JourneyPlanner).

    It is important to note that people wanting to make connecting services to the Armadale, Thornlie, Joondalup, Mandurah and Midland Lines will need to plan additional time to allow for connections.


    There will be no additional bus services operating on the day, and no additional bus services at suburban stations for connections with the extra train services being provided.


  446. Frank Calabrese says:

    And as predicted, there is chaos at the Showgrounds and the event still has 12 minutes to go.


  447. skink says:

    Here’s an opportunity for Twoppers to contribute to public sculpture at the conception stage, rather than bagging it once it has been installed.

    The cathedral precinct is planning a new sculpture of George and the Dragon, and have received 94 submissions which are available for public comment and vote

    get in there and give your opinion and vote, if only to stop another Smiths sculpture from cluttering the city. They will probably choose something dull and figurative, but maybe they will break the habit of a lifetime and choose something more daring.

    personally I like the last one, Uldis Zarins’ big red tongue, if only because of all the juvenile cunnilingus jokes it affords.


  448. Bento says:

    My vote’s for the one made out of green & yellow M&Ms. It brought to mind a certain bust of a former premier.

    I’m not surprised ‘Good & Evil’ prompted headscratching in the observer. I wondered what the fuck it was, too.


  449. Bill O"Slatter says:

    A drunken half witted part human part dragon of Paul Kubic seems more like a suitable TWOP candidate for St George and the dragon. I don’t think any of the modernist representations are any good. In ten years time people will merely say ” What in the hell is that?”


  450. Rolly says:

    Jeez, like the mythology that is religion itself, the tale G & the dragon is ubiquitous; spread widely across multiple faiths.
    The Headline photo of the cathedral is another myth, ignoring completely that this little brick building is almost lost in a sea of edifices dedicated to avarice and mammon.


  451. Snuff says:

    What an impressive collection of worst and worster, skink, granted, of course, that the main problem seems to be that hideous building behind the submissions.

    I voted for Georgi Michev’s “please put herbs into the holes”, based solely, I must admit, on his wonderful accompanying text, so evocative of Amos Tutuola.

    “When God made man of earth and laid him to dry in the sun, covertly slinked in the Devil and stabbed his body in forty one spots. After a while came God to put him soul in but the soul does not staid in the body. – Hm, it was done by the Devil to force me into making of other man. But this is what I do! And God picked herbs and corked up all forty holes but one of them was left open by him. When God putted soul in, the man rose to his feet and asked: – Lord, why didn’t you corked up this hole too? – This hole is the death – answered God. Therefore dies the man. And the herbs that God corked up the holes with grew up to be medicinal herbs.”


  452. skink says:

    I have to ask:

    how come Hoey didn’t make the shortlist?


  453. Bento says:

    Another victory for the YWL mafia.


  454. Snuff says:

    Excellent article, Ljuke, although the Wimmera Mail Times might want to check the ip address of that email.

    Personally, I think a 50 metre high Ed Roth hotrod would be a more suitable steed.

    Kudos to Yarriambiack Shire Mayor Andrew McLeod, who trumped the emailer by declaring that the town had “a dry creek bed and a few dry lakes” for attractions. Now that, is dry.


  455. Ljuke says:

    They had a scale model of it at the Nick Cave exhibition, accompanied by some words from the great man himself. He said that if the council didn’t want it, they’d drag it out into the desert and leave it there.


  456. skink says:

    it is difficult not to laugh at this news story:

    after two arson attacks on Warwick Police station, and a ram raid on Joondalup, police initiated patrols around their own police station which resulted in… an arsonist setting fire to a police officer.

    police are now asking for ‘greater protection’, since it would appear that a gun and a tazer are not enough.,21598,25098837-2761,00.html


    • Bento says:

      I’ve got $5 says the next thing to go up in flames is the new CCTV equipment.


      • skink says:

        and I’ll lay another $5 that Sattler’s column tomorrow is about the rise in the price of electricity hurting pensioners.


        • Frank Calabrese says:


          It will be the “Herne Hill Hero” and and defending oneself in the home.

          And I’m surprised he didn’t do that last week as his column was posted on Friday, and it all happened Wednesday Night and the media knew on Thursday Morning – adequate time for Howie to whip up a column :-)


          • skink says:

            he was probably waiting to see if he was charged. If he had been then Sattler would come out all guns blazing.

            now that it has come out that the gun went off during a struggle, and he has been released without being charged, the story is a bit of a dead duck.

            not that that ever stops Sattler from stirring up a bit of nowtrage.


            • Frank Calabrese says:

              he was probably waiting to see if he was charged. If he had been then Sattler would come out all guns blazing.

              now that it has come out that the gun went off during a struggle, and he has been released without being charged, the story is a bit of a dead duck.

              Considering this all a bit close to home, I do note the bad puns :-) And you’re right about the story being a dead duck – today Sattler’s going on about Warwick Police Station etc. This does not look good for Rob Johnston at all the last 7 days – so much for Laura Norder :-)


    • Klag O'Callamitty says:

      What are we going to do when faced with such opposition? I blame the courts and the politicians for creating these absurd laws we have to uphold. Comes knock off time I’m out the door like a rocket propelled grenade. It’s hell out there : freakin dangerous Perth. Poor young copper got his arse burnt. It’s more dangerous than Peshawar or Mexico.
      I didn’t join the police to have physical confrontations with people just to fill out forms at which I am very good. It’s scary, it’s frightening , I’m shitting meself now where’s a place I can go and hide. This young bloke is about 17 judging by the bicycle seat ; but he’s got us terrified , we’re shivering in our boots .The whole West Australian police force is in hiding because of this young bloke all because I’d say his licence has been suspended. A real urban terrorist, so we are looking for a short arse who lost his licence after he was pulled over by silver late model unmarked police car and who lives near the Warwick police station. Now is that scary or what?
      He’s gone crackers, he’s gone nuts and there’s no stopping him Perhaps the entire police force will have to leave the state until he’s calmed down
      Western civilisation is on the brink and the thin blue line has turned brown. The Vandals and the Visigoths are at our gate. Rome is burning, it’s AD64 and Nero is in charge. Arrivederci Roma.
      We’re stretched to the breaking point. Is there anybody out there who can help us? We need a permanent presence at Warwick of 500 officers, razor wire, fortifications that would do the Coffin cheaters proud and CCTV cameras (remember how long it took to get them around Claremont?); and we’ll do patrols in APCs. Then we’ll call it Fort Bravo. We’d bring in the SAS but they are having trouble with bouncers.
      As usual , my mates the Police Union can be relied upon to be the complete headless chooks running around screaming the “sky is falling in”. When you need political support you’ve got it in those blokes.
      Run for your freakin lives, it’s your only chance, and get away from the exits I’m coming through!
      ( Postscript : we’ve found the culprit and it was just who I thought it was , so we can all go back to sleep now except for that $10 mill in the tube for Warwick /Fort Bravo , thanks Col’n).


  457. Snuff says:

    The new reply function is great, TLA, and I’m trying to remember to use it, and to reply to the right comment when I do, with some success.

    Here’s what I’d really like. In the Worst Talk section we can see just the last 15 comments posted, but any posted prior to that are a mystery. Is it possible to have a Recently Active Posts list, with new comment numbers bolded, or at least total individual Post comment numbers listed ? You know what I mean. It’s not, is it ?

    p.s. You know what’s really worst. Not that there’s a section entitled Worst Ctegories, but that it’s taken me 9 months to notice.


    • Bento says:

      Ctegories stays. It feels right.

      Agree with Snuff re disappearing comments. When DFOC and Cookster get on a riff, every other comment disappears into the ether.


  458. David Cohen says:

    I’m the riff and the Cockster is the raff.

    I am terriff, and he is naff.


  459. OK, I added most active posts (over the past 48 hours). 15 comments is the most I can give you.


    • Snuff says:

      Thanks, TLA. First class service.

      p.s. I miss the Ctegories already. Was it always like that, or are you messin’ with our heads ?


  460. skink says:

    something positive for a change:

    the plans for the Sculpture Park on Heirisson Island have been released, and I think it is a rather spendid idea and all concerned deserve congratulations and our support.

    there is still a long way to go (the bridge designs suck, but that’s GHD for you), but I think it is a more positive idea for the use of the river than tacky commercial developments and Swan Island.


    • Groucho says:

      And we are all confident, based on the existing Perth foreshore and surrounding district sculptures, that this will be a project of the hightest possible artistic quality with multiple aboriginal figures, leaping dolphins, bronzed life like figures of Paddy Hannan, kangaroos, koalas, a scattering of crocodiles and a couple of good old diggers thrown in for sentimental value……can’t wait to see all these tagged within the first week.


    • Bento says:

      Gomboc-on-Swan has a nice ring to it.


      • skink says:

        I must say I wondered about sculpture getting tagged, but then stuff in King’s Park seldom gets tagged (except for that camel toe)

        I have noticed that Perth taggers are quite timid – if it’s nice, they don’t touch it.


    • cimbali says:

      Good lord those bridges are a revelation.
      Where do they go to my lovely?
      Very happy to have a sculpture park on Heirisson but the first bridge terminates in the water and that couple do si do-ing down the last bridge would kick the head off a yagan soon as look at it.
      Talking about sculpture have you checked out S by Sea in Cott TLA? Had a quick look on Friday but didn’t have time for a good wander – nothing particularly radical as far as I could see.


      • Groucho says:

        Price tags are radical…….get rich quick scheme


        • cimbali says:

          Not saying I disagree entirely but a friend has a piece there which has sold for about $21 000.
          The organisers take $7000. The cost of materials was about $7000 and the final $7000 has to cover three months of solid work and the making of four scale models prior to that. He reckons he could only do about three a year so it is not necessarily a great way to make money.
          I do believe there is a piece there for upwards of $300 000. That had to cover the cost of shipping it in a container from the USA so you would want to make it worth your while I guess.


      • Haven’t seen. Last year’s had nothing bad enough. Sure there was bad, but nothing horrific unfortunately.


        • Snuff says:

          Doesn’t seem to be anything particularly worstworthy there this year either, TLA. I don’t mind ‘the drifter’, or ‘spheres’, personally, although the latter only because it reminds me of The Prisoner. The pylon’s still looking good.


          • skink says:

            the usual mix of the derivative, the whimsical, that old favourite: “I can make a quick trick brick stack, ” and just one thing that is mildly controversial enough to guarantee a few headlines (the chicken roadkill)

            ‘the drifter’ is vaguely similar to the concrete tourists in the hills that featured on TWOP some time ago


    • Bill O'Slatter says:

      The only problem is that they have avoided the 300 kg gorilla in the mist : the Causeway. Time to think the big thoughts on how to get rid of it.


      • Bento says:

        I say we demolish it. And the Windan Bridge. And the Narrows. And stock the Swan with crocodiles and piranha.


        • I love the causeway. What’s wrong with it.


          • Bill O'Slatter says:

            It doesn’t function all that well as a road into the city anymore , as that’s what the pollypipe does. There could be car parks on the Vic Park side and public transport ( trams via one end of Heirisson island ) into the city. Heirisson island would then be one public space.


          • Bento says:

            I have no quibble with the Causeway per se, but it allows the huns access to the civilised side of the river.

            Perhaps we could build a fence at, say, East Vic Park, and thereby keep the Causeway whilst maintaining security.


      • skink says:

        300kg Gorilla?

        does it have sideburns?

        is it Troy Buswell?


  461. As long as those cursed Smiths don’t get to cast any more bronze over there.


  462. skink says:

    I did notice that The Smiths have made the shortlist for the George and Dragon sculpture, and heaven knows I’m miserable now.


  463. skink says:

    and speaking of garbage cluttering up the streets,

    our old friend the mayor of Vincent (Gateway to Dog Swamp TM) has complained about the amount of garbage left on the verge for council collection.

    see if you can spot the most useless piece of unwanted trash in this photo:


  464. Slanderer says:

    Always on the lookout for movies about Perth, I was lucky last night to see an extended trailer for anatomically correctly titled “Two Fists One Heart”, a story that had to be told about a boy growing up in Perth to be a boxer.

    I’m please to say it has all the necessary elements, boy bullied by father, schoolfriends etc until he meets a blonde who gives his life meaning until she sees him in a bar brawl.

    Featured dialogue: Blonde: “You can’t blame your father! We’ve all got fathers!”
    Boxer: “Not like my father!”

    There wasn’t a shot of boxer running up the steps of Parliament House in the early morning, but I think they might have saved that out of the trailer for the movie.


    • So did it look really bad? And speaking of bad, where’s the goss on The Cockstar porno movie?


      • Ljuke says:

        I propose a game: take the above quote, “You can’t blame your father! We’ve all got fathers!”, and replace the word “Father” with any word of your choosing, hence:

        “You can’t blame your wanger! We’ve all got wangers!”

        Juvenile, yet fun.


    • skink says:

      the trailer doesn’t look so bad:

      there are some Italian-Australian stereotypes that look a bit hackneyed (circle work in a Monaro), but there are others here better qualified to comment on whether it is a true representation.

      I’d be interested to see how Nick Minchin gets on. I can only assume that there must be some quality to the movie if it tempted him to get involved.

      and Slanderer should know by now that there are a great many contributors to this site who do not have fathers. A right shower of bastards we are.


      • Frank Calabrese says:

        I’d be interested to see how Nick Minchin gets on. I can only assume that there must be some quality to the movie if it tempted him to get involved.

        Don’t you mean TIM ? Nick Minchin is a Liberal Senator from South Australia :-)

        and yep, it’s every Italo-Aust stereotype, the bastard dad, the soft mother etc – I call this Rocky in Balcatta :-)


    • Frank Calabrese says:

      And Perth Now LOVE the Movie.,21598,25078483-5005387,00.html

      And The pics in the social pages are a who’s who of possible persons of interest to the WA Police – I’m surprised there weren’t some plain clothes officers in the crowd :-)


  465. David Cohen says:

    I have to suggest Chicken Treat’s latest radio ad: they have a holiday for Hawaii up for grabs, but the voice doing the spruiking is Jamaican.

    What the? Island paradise, much the same…but because it’s a local fast food place, you’d think they would’ve got someone with a Rotto accent.

    Is that so much to ask?


    • Frank Calabrese says:

      The TV ad uses the same voiceover, it is a shocker, and to think I know the owner Frank Romano who married into some friends of the family whose late patriach owned a Fish & Chip Shop on Ct Northern Hwy which is now owned by the youngest son.


    • Snuff says:

      Do they taste like chicken, DFOC ?


    • Bento says:

      DFOC – I know I live very close to your office, but I didn’t realise you were able to overhear all my petty gripes. I was moaning about this very issue only last night.

      I would be interested to hear the Rotto accent. I assume it is similar to the Perth accent, only the consonants are a little more slurred.


  466. David Cohen says:

    I have spies everywhere, Bento.

    They taste deliciously Ukrainian, Snuff:


  467. Snuff says:

    Innaresting. Having noticed recently that the now demolished flaming wardrobe is still extant on Google Street View, perhaps you could conjure up an interactive tour of worsts, vanished and otherwise, TLA. It’d be a shoo in for the 2009 Award.