Inseminators 09

Someone commented that I should get a shot of this poster seen up around Curtin. They got pulled down pretty quickly, but I managed to find one lodged in a cranny near the Tavern. You know, the artwork does have a kind of dumb charm. I have to say that I quite like it, despite its obvious ah, problems. I’m tempted to go not worst.  I would class the events more as worsts, the burnout and wet tshirts comps, and the fact that the bar doesn’t open until 8 hours after the gates open. inseminatorscuinseminatorsbuninseminatorswd

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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766 Responses to Inseminators 09

  1. shazza says:

    This is an absolute worst.

    I’ll spare you the feminist analysis as it is patently obvious that a mysogynistic, bogan has been let loose with the marker pen.

    Any woman who would dash for cash just so a bunch of boozed up hill-billies can get a gander at some bouncing breasts needs to come and have a chat with Poor Lisa and myself.

    For shame!!!

    Like

      • poor lisa says:

        Not real clear what the connection is there.

        The Daily Mail breaks the shocking news that women sometimes sleep with men for reasons other than romantic… so they should be happy to have their foot put in a trap & get shot in the arse by a guy who votes for Wilson Tuckey after doing a dash for cash in a wet t shirt?

        You can’t argue with that logic shazza, I hope you read the scientific Daily Mail article and learned from it.

        Like

    • Oblivious says:

      I understand your point ladies however it is less the picture and more about the good night you have while attending these events. Have you ever gone to a BnS??? If not i find it had to beleive that you are judging this event based on this poster. Yes it is a little rude but hat is not what the night is about, it is about having a few with your mates and letting loose, de stressing and having FUN!

      Like

    • Rhiannon says:

      OK…I am not a bogan. I’m an extremely intelligent young woman studying farm management at Muresk. I have big plans for my future, one being a top quality wiltshire stud breeder. I don’t dress like a slut, my hair isn’t blonde, and I don’t have big boobs. I have only ever been with one man. It just so happens that I’m about the only artist at Muresk and the prize was free entry to the B & S Ball.
      And to criticize you need to know what you’re talking about. A B & S is all about letting go and forgetting all the bullshit in life. There are yobbos there but I’m not one of them…and I think you’ll find that no woman go in the dash for cash.
      It’s easy to sit back and criticize…because you don’t understand. The event raised $200, 000 for charity. That’s having a go at a lot of people.

      Like

      • Snuff says:

        Thanks for the confirmation on the yobbos, Rhiannon. Any rooting ?

        Like

      • That’s great, but you’re missing the point of the post and the blog.

        And didn’t I say right at the beginning that I LIKE the poster.

        Like

      • shazza says:

        Rhiannon, are you saying you are the artist responsible for that abomination of a poster? What the hell were you thinking young lady?

        Like

        • PEH says:

          she was obviously thinking how much fame she could get out of releasing such a great picture for people to comment on! obviously it worked and got some numb-nuts to comment on the so-called “politically incorrect” theme of the BnS. im pretty sure rhiannons thought were clear, and that the target audience is of the younger population!

          Like

          • B.T. says:

            So violence against women is OK? What other conclusion can we draw from a picture that shows a large male figure wearing no pants and discharging a shotgun placed in his crotch into the backside of a female figure caught in a trap. What message are you sending? Come to the BnS Ball and be forcibly confined and assaulted?

            Charming.

            Like

        • aaron says:

          shazzza your XXXXXXX…. u have no idea wat the fuck goes on out here and for some cheap bitch to comment on something they have no idea about……. well grow up!!

          Like

          • monkeypants says:

            wow! settle down aaron. this is no place to take a personal swipe like that. any point you were attempting to make was lost in the first insult.

            this post is actually making my eyes bleed now. the abundance of contributors who have taken issue with a pisstake commentary on a poster is astounding.

            it’s the price of fame TLA! the price of fame.

            if you want a serious site to share your thoughts on i am sure there are 100’s of them somewhere else. so please now, all of you without a sense of humour piss off.

            Like

          • shazza says:

            I may be a bitch aaron, but cheap? Mr Shazza would beg to disagree.

            Like

        • widmore says:

          shutup you finite element method (FEM)

          Like

      • Bento says:

        I’m sorry, I stopped reading when you said you don’t have big boobs.

        Like

        • shazza says:

          Once again, it’s the arvo, Iv’e poured myself a vino, and started to read through this thread (it’s just priceless TLA). And I have to say there are many comments that provoke a laugh, but Bento, this is the one I laugh the loudest at every time. Brilliant!

          Like

    • Mazz says:

      Ha ha! Man you guys are really something you know?

      It’s just a poster for an event someone like most of you who posted derogatory comments is never going to attend because you’re some prissy do-gooder still caught up in the feminist movement from the 70s. (You’ll probably go on to become born-again-christians and all will be right with the world.)

      Geez, if you guys actually came from the country you’d get it. It’s just a poster which pokes a little fun. The artist herself intended it to be that way. And as someone that personally knows her, I can tell you that she’s not the kind of woman that’d take crap from any guy.

      Like she says below, she’s a talented, extremely smart young girl who’s only ever had one boyfriend (and is still with him) and who likes to have a good time. It’s not uncommon for derogatory things to be said about woman in the country – in fact its a very common (and Australian!) thing. Look no further than most Aussie comic books or souvenir shops.

      So anyway. The 2009 BnS is over for the year. Frankly, I dunno why you’re all having a cry about the poster for it now.

      And by the way David Cohen – were you being funny? (“Men are BEASTS!) Cause if you weren’t then I’m really confused. ^_^

      Like

    • Bro says:

      So says some old hag who no one wouldn’t touch with a 200 meter long road train

      Like

  2. And yet, and yet…
    I certainly prefer it to this posted at Curtin.

    Like

    • shazza says:

      Perhaps if you could give me a humorous take on this, particularly the fact she is being shot in the ass at point blank while in a rabbit trap? I like to think I’m a good humoured lass but I’m not seeing the charm here.

      PS. To any ‘our Nikki’ freaks planning on telling me I’m jealous. My boobs arent what they used to be but I reckon I could still go tit to tit with a 20 something. So spare me.

      Like

  3. This post is at number one in google for inseminators 09, so any objection will be noticed I’m thinking. I wonder what charity it is.

    Like

  4. It’s so bad, if there wasn’t the rest of the ad, it could almost be an anti inseminators ball image. I think it’s bad in a similar way to Bento calling god riddance to Howard Sattlers old mother dying, wrong and stupid and yet…

    Like

    • shazza says:

      I say the Charity is the Mens Confraternity.

      For me it’s all about the message. Bento was highlighting the arrogant, disregard for the feelings of the family of those dead children by Sattler and his supporters. That message was clear, at least to me, and justified.

      Co incidentlally I suspect many Sattler supporters will be in attendance at the Inseminators Ball.

      Like

      • Bit young a crowd for old Davros Sattler, but I’m sure there will be some Wilson Tuckey fans going. He appeals to te younger demographic.

        Like

      • poor lisa says:

        Shazza I was with you from post 1 sister.
        I was gonna say Men’s Confraternity! Maybe it’s the Supporters of Peter Weygers Fund.

        It’s not even remotely viz type funny, it’s just crap.

        And how crap that curtin wimmin decided to have an approved-graffiti wall instead of searching out items like this to have a go at.

        Like

    • Bento says:

      Fuck me. I wasn’t even here, and I’m being called wrong and stupid. I may be wrong, and I may be stupid, but at least I have more masculine posture than D’Arcy the Ram there, who appears to be ‘en pointe’. What the fuck is that all about?

      Like

        • Bento says:

          Indeed. I did see a few worsts, but most of them were the result of endeavours to entice the worst elements of Australia, and just made me ashamed rather than amused.

          I did see a painting of a zebra felching a zebra, but couldn’t contrive to get a pic without being besieged. Mrs Bento said it wouldn’t have matched our couches, anyway.

          Back to the topic, I agree with ronggly. What the hell is this shit doing up at an institute of higher learning (or even Curtin, nyuk nyuk)?

          Like

      • shazza says:

        He’s back, and this time it’s personal!!

        Like

  5. Rolly says:

    This is verily a worst of the worsts.

    Like

  6. flynn says:

    castrate the lot of them.

    Like

  7. orbea says:

    Do you need a license to use the word ‘cranny’?

    Like

    • skink says:

      the website lists the President and Treasurer’s names as Rowan and Darcy.

      what kind of names are those for unreconstructed rams?

      I hope they are laying on some Bacardi Breezers for Rowan and Darcy

      Like

        • poor lisa says:

          B&S organisers are moleskin wearing farm heirs with trust funds who live at college during term time, not oppressed working class larrikins with mullets like you might be fantasising.

          Like

          • flynn says:

            so that would make it D’arcy then.

            Like

          • skink says:

            fantasising?

            about mullets?

            would Rowan and Darcy know a woman if they shot one?

            will any women be going to the event, or do they actually have to be trapped and shot to get them to attend?

            if they do go willingly, exactly what kind of woman might look at the poster and think ‘they look like my kind of guys, perhaps I will be trapped and skinned by a future soul mate’

            after all Rolly’s crap about leaving the debauchery and moral ambivalence of Gotham to return to the country where old fashioned values and common decency still prevail, it’s good to see what really goes on in the flyover shires.

            Like

            • The website is in someways more scary than this poster. There’s a burning car. Nothing gets in the chicks like an overturned burning car.

              Like

              • skink says:

                actually, there is a young gentleman walking away from the upturned burning car wearing an “I love beer” T-shirt, who appears to have a mullet.

                do you think that might be Darcy?

                no doubt this is the WA equivalent of that Pride and Prejudice moment, but instead of Darcy emerging in sodden breeches from a swim in the moat, Darcy crawls out from beneath a burning ute after some ripper circle work, and young Elizabeth Bennett creams her knickers.

                Like

          • Treasure says:

            Fiction.

            Like

    • Paracleet says:

      My eyes! Ze googles do nothing!

      Like

  8. JaneZ says:

    Thing is it doesn’t just condone sexual violence against women, it celebrates it. The fact that it’s fucking ugly doesn’t make that ok on some conceptual meta-level. Some things just aren’t that funny, sorry.

    In my defence (why do I think I have to defend myself?) yes I am bitter, but significantly less dried up than I might sound.

    Like

  9. poor lisa says:

    “Dumb Charm”. I think you were just trying to bring the sisters out of the woodwork LA.

    Like

  10. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Looks like it gets mighty lonely out on Shoot’n Reap farm.

    Like

  11. Richarbl says:

    I say not worst!
    Some things are just so stupid that they cannot be taken seriously and this is a prime example of that.

    Like

  12. Richarbl says:

    Honestly the whole thing is stupid, the gates open at ten, the “bucking bull” opens at twelve and then the bar opens six hours later?

    What sober faced fuckwit bogan cowboy is going to jump on a mechanical bull without a skinfull of overpriced watered down liquor to gird his loins first??

    Like

  13. Richarbl says:

    Y’know TLA, you should run for office. At least you could count the angst ridden, quasi feminist, funny, burdened, female vote.

    Like

  14. I have another Curtin poster for tomorrow. This one an approved one.

    Like

  15. Big Ramifications says:

    Eerily similar to the cartoon art for Snoop Dogg’s Doggystyle album. Can’t find a better version than this at the moment:

    There is a longer multi-panel cartoon story on the inside sleeve.

    Like

  16. Pingback: …on the white telephone « The Worst of Perth

  17. Ezza (sounds as ocker as Shazza!) says:

    Hi all, it must be prettty obvious that none of you have actually been to a BnS before….. cos if you had you would know the nature of the event.
    If you arent comfortable to step out of the box that conforms your narrow minds you wouldn’t know that the event is all about being able to laugh at yourself and let loose like you cant in the city with all the pretentious f#*>s that obviosly dont know how to enjoy themselves!!!
    Yes the advert probably pushes the boundaries and I can see how it would offend some people but hey if you cant have a laugh at that and not take yourself so seriously then I feel sorry for you.
    I’m looking forward to the BnS next weekend -being covered in food dye, rum and dust and cutting up in my ute and oh yes feel sorry for me cos I’m a redneck bogan who doesn’t know the finer things in life.

    GET OVER YORSELVES and stop talking crap, oh yeah and your alll welcome to come along and see what its all bout because anyone is welcome and anything goes, although I know that wont be you style…..

    Like

    • Search the Web on Snap.com says:

      excellent
      why did it take so long to flush one out?

      Like

    • shazza says:

      Ezza I am so glad you came to TWOP. I had only a few days earlier expressed my dismay that no B&S attendees had come to defend this country institution.

      You are right that it isn’t my style. Despite the bogan name.

      Tell me, how does one get over ones self, exactly?

      Like

      • tara says:

        the only reason that we all havnt said nething back to u is coz its a waste of our time and effort.
        u dnt have to be a snob about it all grow up and get lost.

        Like

        • shazza says:

          tara, it’s a waste of your time and effort to say anything to me, so you came to say that to me?

          Your’e a bright girl aren’t you.

          Like

          • Bento says:

            You missed the double negative, shazza. She hasn’t said nothing (nething?), because *that* would be a waste of time. Or something. Ergo, saying *something* is not a waste of time.

            Like

        • satay steve says:

          At least she realises it’s a waste of time, even if it doesn’t stop her doing it.

          I’m impressed that a one-time commenter has the balls to come here and tell the locals to ‘get lost’.

          Back to the original poster though – I saw a nice young lady at Curtin the other day walking around in a T-shirt of the poster, replete with the ‘her eyes glowed as I blew my load’ tagline. Classy.

          Can I get a copy of this whole thread on a T-Shirt?

          Like

          • curious says:

            and where is photo of said lady steve?

            Like

            • satay steve says:

              Hi curious, just call me satay. I say nice young lady; she seemed nice until the people in the bookshop told her she’d have to spend at least ten bucks to get cash out, then things turned ugly and I decided it wasn’t the time to take photos. Have you seen any of those shirts around campus?

              Like

        • Jaidyn-Jaxxon says:

          just pointing out that ‘tara’ appears to have cut and pasted the URL of her current location into the box where it says ‘Website’. Just saying. She has entered
          https://theworstofperth.com/2009/09/08/inseminators-09/
          into that box. Where it says ‘Website’.
          Just saying.

          Like

    • ronggly says:

      Erin,
      The advert does not push any boundaries, and it doesn’t offend anyone here. It is like my 2-yr-old doing a crap on the living room carpet and pointing proudly at it. It’s banal and ugly.

      Like

    • ronggly says:

      (I know this guy must be a troll but I can’t help it)

      People who “arent comfortable to step out of the box that conforms (their) narrow minds” is an apt description of the sort of people who go to BnS’s. I’ve been to some.
      The behaviour is always the same prescriptive routine you allude to. Men rolling around in the mud together. Latent homosexuality anyone ? Are gays welcome there ?
      However it’s not a man thing, there are many women in attendance. All patiently smiling and awaiting the attentions of one these men, whose family owns several thousand acres of real estate, sent them to the finest schools in Perth, where they proudly emerged free from any of the ravages of the finer things in life.

      Like

      • Each to their own says:

        I’m not sure which B&S’s you have been going to but i can’t say i have seen too many women waiting around for the affections of men at these events. Gone are the days where women wait for men like they are some trophy to be sought. The B&S is about getting together with your mates and having fun. I know i will not win a war of words here but i am comfortable in the tradition and would recommend any one keen for a different experience to check it out. One can not judge what they have not experienced.

        Each to their own.

        Like

    • Bento says:

      You bumpkins are sending out mixed messages, Ezza. Is everyone welcome, or should we slaughter terrified women and children? The rurotards are no longer content to simply tell beige people to FOWF, and have apparently upped the ante to advocating mass murder.

      May I suggest we turn Great Eastern Highway into a cul-de-sac?

      Like

  18. You’re allowed to say fucktards without the use of #^*## Ezza. Someone else is feeling sorry for TWOP community? Sorry Ezza, your pity will be wasted. Narrow minds? The Worst of Perth??? The home of the Cuntkini? I think not. The minds here have the widest open spaces in town.

    Like

  19. trolzilla says:

    How can you say that someone is open minded when i can bet money that those who give a negative opinion on something they have never attended are the first to judge? Most people would do some pretty crazy shit to raise money for charity and having a good time making a fool of themselves is all the more reason to have a go. Get off your high horse stop wasting time,get out and do a hard days work for once in your life. everyone is intitled to an opinion but dont diss something just cause it’s not “YOUR THING”.

    Like

  20. trolzilla says:

    someone throw me a rope , I’ve gotten so far up myself i’m stuck…. no i’m not up myself ,i minimise my breathing to help oxygen thiefs such as yourself survive rolly . No-one is forced to attend and if you’ve given it a fair go then fair enough , you are part of the small minority that would have a valid opinion on the subject.Obviously I have offended a few but hey opinions are like assholes, everyones got one and to say that you have a life and then to sit by the computer waiting for a reply just proves one thing….. YOU DONT.I stumbled onto this site by chance and i thought i would put my 2 cents in but i wont be visiting this site again so i wish you all a good life and good health.seeya.

    Like

  21. ezza says:

    Its for the local town shire and it supports the ag schools as well.. oh yeah and aren’t u off to your birthday party…beter let you get back to the finer things in life … peace ppl :)

    Like

  22. shazza says:

    Thanks Ezza,

    Another quick question since I’m back from the b’day party, and your’e possibly still on line.
    Will the farmers be giving us city people back all the drought money we gave you?
    After all there has been a lot of rain, and apparently a lot more to come.

    Like

  23. ezza says:

    r u trying to wind me up…..you cant even begin to understand the hardship that our farmers go through and how challenging the lifestyle is. Farming is one of the main industries that supports this country and we should be greatfull of the food that is on our tables.
    Havent you seen the suicide rates in young farmers over the years as the times have been getting increasingly difficult, they need all the support they can get! Also we are still by no means in the clear for rainfall which is still lower than average for the yearly rate, you know the total sprinkler ban is saying something.

    Next time I wouldn’t bother donating in the first place if you are gonna want your money back- kinds defeats the purpose dont you think?

    Like

  24. I’m from the wheatbelt. No amount of taxes, more rain or less rain will lessen the amount of rural whingeing.

    Like

  25. Richarbl says:

    Obviously the artist was trying to create controversy just like using an inflammatory term like, I dunno….quasi perhaps?

    But hey nothing like a bit of good natured debate eh Shazza.

    Like

  26. As for condoning violence against women…

    The caption is about as violence-condoning as “I could murder a hamburger right now” or “knock the top off a few beers” or “I’d hit it” or “wanna get hammered tonight?” or “demolishing a bottle of Beam”.

    And the gun is – wait for it – A METAPHOR!

    Funny? No. Well, it didn’t tickle my funny bone. Objectifying women? Yes, and in a puerile way. Condoning violence against women? Hysterical feminist claptrap.

    Like

  27. Snuff says:

    Fat chance, TLA. Hysteria is easily cured these days.

    Like

  28. poor lisa says:

    Local shires & ag schools are charities? Things do work differently in the country.

    Like

  29. Frank Calabrese says:

    And they’ve made it to page 3 of Teh Worst. It’s being spun as a last hurrah for Muresk as the powers that be consider it’s future.

    http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/wa/6073288/b-s-ball-may-be-the-last-waltz-for-muresk/

    Like

  30. OutbackJazzie says:

    I am a member of a BnS commitee and I tell ya I ain’t from no bloody yuppy ag school … I know the hardships of life and I live the darn things every bloody day … So ya can stick ya comments about us all being ag college yuppies up ya rear ends …

    Also ya comment about the drought money, yes ok some people that didn’t need it took it … but i challenge you all to come and live a full year in the country on a large property with no feed for your stock, very limited water supply and a family relationship that is failing due to finances … You work out just how much water a crop needs to thrive or a cow can drink in a day and then times that by the amount planted, and the 365 days in a year … Yeah wake up and smell the roses people, it takes alot of water to raise just one cow … So you turn that into 25, 000 cows and there is fucking more than you can imagine … So watch ya bloody traps …

    Also feel free to dig at me cause I am happy to represent the rural and agricultural aspect of Australia and I will fight for the little people … Alone we are a weak force, but together we are united …

    At least country people know how to live life, enjoy the moment and have time for our families … Not rush to work every morning, come home late, force the kids into day care, and only go on expensive holidays to place where you will only spend all day on the phone or internet …

    Also anyone wishing to discuss this further with me go ahead:
    midgey03@hotmail.com

    I welcome what anyone in here can throw at me and I will show you the logic in it … Not everyone can understand the country life without living it …

    Also BnS’s are about supporting the local communities … Without BnS’s alot of Australian towns would have long gone to ghost towns …

    Feel free to ask any questions :)

    Like

    • I’ve lived the country life. Born in the wheatbelt and I can say that country people are generally idiots who like whingeing more than every other activity. And correction, it takes 3 million litres of water to make one litre of bull semen. And I speak from bitter experience.

      Like

      • Big Ramifications says:

        Got some great mates who are hayseeds, a number of them Muresk graduates. I can’t believe some of the anti farmer “whinging lying bastards, the lot of them” comments they come up with. So much so, I thought they were taking the piss.

        Is the OBH still a country pub? Always liked the crowd there, plus I went to a boarding school. Been surrounded by hayseeds all my life.

        My only complaint is that too many of them [not all] go out of their way to tell me how the “city sucks”. Even as adults… I’ll get bailed up at a party by some drunk cockey telling me how much he hates living here.

        a) Well fuck off back home then.
        b) Issues? Feeling a bit inadequate, eh?

        Like

    • shazza says:

      I have a question.

      How is that “country people know how to love life, and enjoy the moment, and have time for our families”, while simultaneously moaning about how hard ‘life on the land’ is, and how family relationships are failing?

      Buddy, beef is on the way out, buy yourself some lambs, plant some fuckin trees and stop your whining.

      Like

      • Treasure says:

        I’d say life on the land is a bittersweet existence. You work hard at a demanding job but you also get to experience the beauty of the land, the true feeling of a close knit community and i think best of all… you develop some very strong mates through the most trying of times. I love the lifestyle and wouldn’t want to live any other life, even if it does mean hearing some rather offensive comments on this forum.

        I think some of you should be very ashamed of your ignorance and name calling.

        Like

        • Bento says:

          I may be a metrocentric twat (TM), but I’ve known a few rubes in my time (among other things, I lived in Manning, which is a little slice of the wheatbelt right here in Perth). I assume by ‘close knit community’ you mean ‘bunch of small-minded gossips whose second-favourite pastime is discussing their neighbour’s private business’.

          Like

        • shazza says:

          Neither ashamed or ignorant Treasure.

          The ignorance stems from those who assume we who choose to live in cities, no nothing of country life. That is bullshit – pun intended.

          Country folk do not have the monopoly on hard work, close knit communities, appreciation of beauty or friendship. But you sure as hell take the cake when it comes to complaining.

          This is why I choose to not live in the country, can’t stand the parochial carping.

          Like

          • Treasure says:

            I agree Shazza… those are all things that can be found anywhere in Australia. We are very lucky in that respect.

            I also believe that this “complaining” that many of the respondents on this forum seem to attribute solely to country folk is also present in the city.

            What i find amusing here is most of the posts in this forum appear to be having a massive whinge/ complain about country folk. Double standards much? I know you’ll never admit it but hey…. you know it’s true! =)

            A little more compassion and understanding is needed on this issue in my opinion.

            Like

      • Snuff says:

        Logic doesn’t seem to be a strong point for ag college yuppies crying for help, shaz. Why would anyone need to have the logic of what they’ve just thrown at somebody shown to them ?

        Like

    • curious says:

      ah the whingeing. usually followed by tales of life at boarding school, and the last trip overseas.

      Like

  31. Have a couple of t shirts planned. “I bagged a bumpkin at the B&S.” and “I got my tractor pulled at The B&S”

    any takers?

    Also, “I fought The Chong And The Chong Won.” Skink? anyone?

    Like

    • Bento says:

      I prefer ‘Don’t bogart the Chong’, personally.

      Like

      • skink says:

        I actually didn’t know what ‘don’t bogart the Chong’ meant.

        I assumed it meant ‘don’t keep crapping on about her’, but according to the urban dictionary it means ‘don’t keep her all to yourself’

        http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bogart

        who the hell would want Chong all to themselves?

        as for ‘ I fought the Chong, and the Chong won’, I would like to point out that I won: me, me ME!

        driven from tWAToday, sacked by Merry’s, and any hope of a career in politics or on the bench torpedoed.

        as DFOC so eloquently put it: ‘crushed her like a bug.’

        I did notice that she was on that list lame of the Top Ten A-listers in The West on the weekend, but if you read the article it was actually the PR list of self publicists who could be relied on to show up for anything.

        The real WA A-list of talented interesting people : Kerry Stokes, Justin Langer, Fiona Wood, Luke Longley and Anna Gare, Ben Elton, Melanie Greensmith, Hank Marvin, Tim Winton, The Waifs, Rove etc. wouldn’t show up to any party that Chong and Basil Zempilas were invited to.

        I was trying to move on from this, but just when I think I have got out, you drag me back in

        Like

  32. shazza says:

    Yep, put me down for a ‘Don’t bogart the Chong’.

    Like

  33. David Cohen says:

    I think Teh Cookster has to wear a bogart T.

    Like

  34. Paracleet says:

    Weighing in like we all are:

    I grew up in the country and can confirm B & S balls are indeed for redneck retards. And have only become more rednecky and retarded as the years have gone by. They used to be just about the rooting… Dash for cash, wet t-shirts & burnouts for charity? What’s next? Wife swapping for world peace? Bash a gay: help stop global warming?

    Like

  35. OutbackJazzie says:

    Look I am not here to cause arguements, I am here to represent the other side of the fence …

    You can call me what you like, I DO NOT CARE …

    I am not here to whinge at all so each to their own if you think I am … I am merely here to present an even case and allow both sides of the story to be told …

    Also shazza your absolutely right, the beef industry is dying, but unless people like me fight to keep it alive then where is the beef that you eat every night going to come from … If the beef industry in Australia dies, then up go the meat prices … Like come on use your common sense a little please …

    I understand that alot of you hate being complained to about the city, but ever think it is because you call us bumpkins, and losers, and all the other shit kicker names you have been slinging … You dish it out but when you recieve it back you can’t take it … I do agree though that SOME and NOT ALL country folk do get on the case of city people a little too much …

    I am currently in the throws of organising a few groups and a BnS to try and over come that barrier …

    NOT ALL COUNTRY PEOPLE ARE THE SAME SO STOP BEING SO STEREOTYPICAL AND JUDGEMENTAL !!!

    Like

    • Treasure says:

      OutbackJazzie, It’s great to hear someone in support of what i feel is a great tradition. I too feel the opinions in the forum are very one sided and stereotypical but i think what we have to understand is … these comments come from people who don’t want to understand what we have to say. They are interested in their own view points and sadly, no good and constructive comments will come out of this.

      Long live the B&S tradition i say! If i am to be classed as a redneck (which i can assure you is so far from the truth) then so be it. I will wear what ever badge people wish to give me but the reality is, we wont meet them, they don’t matter… they are just talk.

      If people have genuine interest of questions we welcome them but i’d just ignore the name calling… it is their weakness… not yours.

      Like

    • curious says:

      i don’t eat beef, nor do i want to.

      shazza lives in freo, beef is banned there.

      Like

    • shazza says:

      OutbackJazzie, I appreciate your attempt to be a voice of reason. Yet your claim I eat beef every night is misguided. For environmental reasons I rarely eat beef. I choose lamb, chicken and fish.

      Part of the problem for farmers is their insistence on continuing outdated, unsustainable, and environmentally degrading agricultural practices. Yet continually bleating (pun intended again) about how hard it is on the land, and how city people should fund their fuck ups, whilst simultaneously going on about what a bunch of wankers city dwellers are.

      Then on top of that we city slickers have to be subjected to the type of poster that started all this.

      Like

      • OutbackJazzie says:

        I can understand your view here … However us country people just try to get help from the city people not for our own fuck ups, but for the GOVERNMENTS … Don’t blame us for what they are ruining … We just do what we know, and be as good at it as we can …

        We get up every day and do our job the best we can … Same as what you do …

        Yes some people do whinge about how hard it is on the land but NOT ALL country people do … Again you are being very stereotypical …

        Like

      • Treasure says:

        poor city folk :'(

        Like

    • David Cohen says:

      What happens to those animals on the ships to the Middle East is bad.

      But what happened to my family…

      Come on you metrosexual TWOPers: is it only me trying to keep this meme alive??

      Like

  36. OutbackJazzie says:

    Paracleet thankyou for bringing up this major issue … A website I am joined to called Country BnS are strongly fighting this … The biggest problem is that too many people have the wrong idea of what a BnS is really about due to bad media coverage … It isn’t about the rooting and all that stuff that it is shown to be about …

    Like

  37. This whole conversation is almost touching. B&S’ers. Dudes. You seem to be missing the point of the worst of perth here. Earnestly telling us it’s not just about the rooting is not the way to go.

    Like

    • Treasure says:

      I believe the topic at issue was the flier and elements of inappropriateness. I think because other people have commented on the B&S and on country people in general… that we have gone very much off topic.

      Like

    • OutbackJazzie says:

      Ok I understand you view here … But answer me this … Why isn’t a BnS the way to go? … I can tell you I would rather my kids go to a BnS, where there are police that monitor the entire event, no drugs, security to help prevent fights, ID checking to ensure no under-age people, and an overall safe environment compared to some wild party of some kid they barely know where they can drink underage and access drugs …

      I am just asking for the reason why a BnS isn’t the way to go? … What is wrong with two single over 18yr old people enjoying each others company? … Are you not judging what single people do in their private lives here?

      Like

      • Originally 200 or so comments ago, I’m sure I said I liked the poster.

        Like

        • OutbackJazzie says:

          I appreciate that you like the poster … But we are not in reference to the poster … The question was in regards to your last post ‘Earnestly telling us it’s not just about the rooting is not the way to go.’ in reference to BnS balls … So please answer my question of why a BnS is not the way to go?

          Like

      • Bento says:

        You’ve misunderstood again. I think I can safely say we here at TWOP are firmly (pun intended) pro-rooting. Most of us are also pro-drugs and pro-alcohol.

        I do love the way you paint a picture, though. ‘When a mummy and a daddy love each other very much, sometimes they will get in the back of a ute while their mates clap and cheer, or have a knee-trembler against the barn’. Poetry.

        Like

        • OutbackJazzie says:

          OMG I love the way you so wrongly misinterprut what was said … A BnS is nothing like that … Yes ok there are the odd group of fuckwits that ruin it for the rest of us by giving that image, but I assure you that is certainly not what a BnS is like … This is the issue we are currently trying to resolve … Also no children are allowed at BnS’s so children are not subjected to this at all, same as they are not subjected to parents that have affairs, sex parties or even enjoy the odd threesome.

          Like

  38. What’s the outback’s view of Patti Chong? Outback Patt good or bad?

    Like

  39. skink says:

    I remember eating in an Australian Outback Steak House in London (not out of choice) and watching a delivery man carrying cartons of beef into the kitchen clearly marked ‘Produce of Argentina.’ (in Spanish)

    Like

    • OutbackJazzie says:

      <<<<< Points to the IN LONDON bit of this comment … That's the british mate … We are a fair bit different in our geographical location so care to come back here and join us in the Land down under … We are talking about AUSTRALIA not ENGLAND!

      Like

  40. Snuff says:

    This thread, TLA, is fantastic.

    Like

  41. Frank Calabrese says:

    Meanwhile here is some B & S “Music”

    Like

  42. Frank Calabrese says:

    And for the Spinsters in the Crowd :-)

    Like

    • OutbackJazzie says:

      LOL mate we only wish they played that at BnS’s … We are getting complained to because they aren’t playing enough Country music … So unless your putting up some hip hop style music you have sadly missed the mark.

      Like

  43. OutbackJazzie says:

    Can someone also please explain to me how a BnS Ball held approximately 100km from Perth is able to be classed as part of ‘The Worst Of Perth’?

    Like

  44. B.T. says:

    Yee Haw. Let’s settle this with 6 guns at the OK corral.

    I ain’t no quasi-Texan for nuthin.

    Like

  45. B.T. says:

    Yeah, missy, I’s aboout the baddest egg y’ll ever gonna meet.

    Like

  46. Frank Calabrese says:

    Ok, here is some footage from last year’s event:-)

    Like

  47. Frank Calabrese says:

    And they say Country Folk don’t watch TV :-)

    Like

  48. Athalone says:

    Of course: it&#0e9;s the media&s fault. Those damn city pebcil-suckers!;

    Like

  49. cols84 says:

    well well well, that was certainly entertaining reading!!!

    I paticularly love how the discussion went from sexist and degrading and what-not about women to completely bagging out the farmers who slog their guts out producing for the country just so the deadshits that rule the produce market can import from overseas coz it ends up cheaper.

    As Jazzie said, don’t blame the farmers for the fuckwits who are our government that make some seriously stupid decisions daily. – i.e. water restrictions, hey we got 5 days of rain and increased the water catchments a bit, so lets cut the restrictions, water like hell and then we’ll restrict you all over again coz the dams are back down to 5% again.

    And whats with knocking the country lifestyle and the choice of going to a BnS over a night club or a rave?

    Yeah, I’m country/redneck/idiot – take your pick or make up your own – but for fucks sake, grow the hell up and get on with your lives… ITS JUST A FRIGGING POSTER!!!!

    Like

  50. Big Ramifications says:

    Anyone read about that poor tourist bastard wot got murdered by the Khmer Rogue in the late 1970s? He said Muresk was a terrorist training camp.

    I went to the Quairading B+S many years ago and I thought it was great. But I thought many things were great back then. If only the today me could meet the many years ago me…

    Three lasting memories:

    1. Chrissie Amphlet [Divinyls] was just awesome live. Not my favourite band by a long shot but boy, that bird had something. “Work the crowd” was an understatement.
    2. Girls pissing everywhere. The filthy harlots couldn’t wait in a queue for 2 hours to piss in a portaloo?
    3. Beer jugs flying. Full beer jugs. If you took a photo towards the end of the night I reckon there would be a minimum of three gigantic plumes of beer and/or jugs flying in the background. It was truly something to behold. The waste must have been staggering.

    Like

  51. Big Ramifications says:

    The beer jugs were plastic.

    Sawn-off 2 litre milk cartons to be precise. So ya weren’t exactly worried about being BRAINED the whole time!

    And ya gave up being worried about being beer soaked at around 9pm.

    Some girls [I’m guessing city girls] wore expensive dresses, and they were magnets for 5 dickheads to each unload a full jug on their heads. Some of them were bawling their eyes out and – all jokes aside just for a change – I felt really sorry for them.

    Like

    • OutbackJazzie says:

      Yep but with the new laws that have been set in place by the GOVERNMENT all this sort of thing is dying out fast … I can tell you know that Inseminators had some struggles to get this BnS to stay going this year … I think you all need to just get the bee out of your bonnet … We host BnS’s to support our local communities … At least we do what we can to help the economy … Out here we just do what we can to help each other get by … Alot of the communities with BnS’s didn’t take the drought money as they were well enough supported …

      God next you will be whinging about the bush fire and flood victims for the hand-outs that the government gave them … Or maybe you will start on the Aboriginal folk for something.

      Like

    • Snuff says:

      Those know nothing city slickers and their spoilsport governments probably just don’t realise that “smash a bunny” is slang out here for “unload a full jug on the heads of city girls in expensive dresses”. The best part is when they bawl their eyes out. Hilarious !

      Like

  52. OutbackJazzie says:

    Most of you probably have the idea you do of BnS’s because you have no idea of all the rules and regulations involved … I just find it amusing that these people bag cows, well lets weigh this up:

    Cows produce:
    -Leather.
    -Milk.
    -Beef.
    -Manure.
    -Dog Food.
    -Ice-cream.
    -Butter.
    -Cream.
    -Cheese.
    + many more.

    Yea we really want to get rid of the cattle from Australia … Clap clap people your fucking your economy right up the ass ain’t you … I will remember this day when you are all sitting there in a few years bitching that produce is so high etc.

    Like

  53. You B&S guys sound like the types to buy MY inappropriate artworks. AND you can make fun of Perth at the same time!
    https://theworstofperth.com/2009/09/20/bad-graffiti-masterpieces/

    https://theworstofperth.com/2009/09/18/sellarbration-of-worst/

    Like

    • cols84 says:

      You lot crack me up!!! you certainly know how to stir up a hornets nest that for sure!!! (even managed to make me bite – seeing as I was already in a bad mood and looking for a fight)

      Like

  54. shazza says:

    cols84,

    I was in a cranky mood too after a bad night, but this thread has put a smile on my face. I hope it’s done the same for you. While you are here, for an even bigger laugh check out the shirts for sale in the right hand column if you scroll back up towards the top. I reckon some of you country boys would enjoy them.

    Like

    • cols84 says:

      yeah, definately made me crack a smile, I know for a fact that a lot of the blokes i know would definately wear them (FYI, Jazzie & I are both girls) :-) however, you also would be suprised at the fun that can be had at a BnS – yeah there’s the ute revving, beer-swilling, country music (and a fairly large amount of pop, rock etc) rough housing.

      A lot of my city mates look @ the photos when my mates & I come back from the BnS’s and go you lot musta had an absolute ball!!! It is great fun and, not everyone’s scene – you couldn’t pay me to go to a rave or a night club, yet the people that go to them enjoy it.

      Everyone’s tastes & choices are different.. If they weren’t the world would be so bloody boring (and this place wouldn’t exist)

      and in all that rambling i lost my train of thought….

      Like

  55. I just received a letter from Brendon Grylls. His letterhead has wheat on it. I’m serious. The letter is not on this topic though.

    Like

  56. BAJ says:

    Just a suggestion for all those bitching and complaining… If you dont like it then fair enough, but for a hell of a lot of people a B&S is a bloody good time. Its not all about rooting a random bloke and forgetting it the next morning.

    So if you havent been to one then you probably dont have the right to comment.

    Like

    • shazza says:

      BAJ

      Prior to meeting my now hubby, “..rooting a random bloke and forgetting it the next morning” was my idea of a good night out.

      Like

    • Snuff says:

      What do you people have against rooting, BAJ ?

      Like

      • Exactly. If the thing wasn’t aout rooting, then what the hell is the point of it?

        Like

        • PEH says:

          shazza, snuff and the lazy aussie…. thanks for re-assuring all of us that you can be labelled “WORST OF PERTH”…. every day i hear people whinging about BnS balls…. have you even been to one?and do you know how much money is raised that goes towards charities, such as what the inseminators do? one day when your admitted to hospital for cancer and r lucky enough to recieve the cure, just think how the cancer council got some of its fundraising, and where some of it came from!

          thanks for all the stereotypic views and proving you’ve got nothing better to do with your lives than argue and be politically correct…. what is this world coming to? unfortunately, we are leading to survival of the dumbest who are scared of working out of a 2x2metre office and getting dirty and not having fun!

          Like

          • Frank Calabrese says:

            People, these are our taxes who are supposedly “educating” these people – no wonder the Education System is fucked when you get halfwits like this posting with abosultely no concept on this website.

            Like

          • Snuff says:

            You’re most welcome, PEH. In answer to your questions, yes, and yes. As someone who works in a small farming community, you have my condolences on the office thing. You are however right about one thing, surprisingly. I am scared of not having fun.

            Like

          • shazza says:

            Me, politically correct? Didn’t you see the comments about my tits PEH? And how much I liked rooting around in my hey day? And how I don’t think very highly of god?

            Scared of getting dirty? I know all about getting up at 5am, and shovelling horse shit. Having been a strapper in my younger days.

            Don’t take my older, wiser, more educated views as a sign I don’t know how to get down and dirty. To quote Elton John, I bet I could snort you under the table.

            Like

            • poor lisa says:

              You don’t have to be a strapper to know about getting up at 5am and shovelling shit. You just have to be a mother.

              Back to the original point, I still don’t like the ugly offensive poster, just like I don’t like the ads for the bikie night club. Might be a great night out just like a b&s but I’m allowed to not like the poster.

              Like

          • PEH says:

            frank- unfortunately the farmers unwillingly have to provide food to such fukwits like you…. the people who result in the dumbing of our nation…. and do you realise how much of the economy agriculture composes of? i dont think you would be around without farmers!

            shazza, my motives of mentioning of ‘getting dirty’ and politically correct werent neccessarily aimed to you, but the wider community who have posted shit about how wrong the poster is…. after all it is known as the “INSEMINATORS BALL”.unfortunately peoples own opinions have been locked up in this crazy rant and untrue stereotypes of people who live in the country have occured. i personally know the lady who drew the picture and you couldnt have found a nicer lady out there.
            and shazza, how is being a strapper anything related to agriculture? the only thing we both got in common is selling meat to butchers, or horses to the knackery in your case! and obviously you have done a lil too much snorting and need something better do in your life than sit on a computer all day posting crazy replies!

            Like

            • Frank Calabrese says:

              Umm, my family ARE involved in viticultre and work from dawn till dusk even at the age of 83, have NO holidays whatsoever and you have the HIDE to call me a fuckwit. Oh and they even did that in Italy before migrating here as well.

              Typical clueless CUNTRy bumpkin.

              Like

              • It started off as a joke, but the country crowd here with a couple of exceptions seem to be retards. And we thought Jesper had an irony problem with english as a second language.

                Like

                • PEH says:

                  how is fundraising for charities a joke the lazy aussie? you just prove my theory of a dumbing nation with lazy people recieving benefits from centrelink! HEY FRANKIE, THIS IS WHERE ALL YOUR TAX IS GOING!!!!!!

                  and frankie mate, seems like u can give it but cant take it mate!! keep off ya cheap wine…. it makes you violent!
                  &
                  just because your parents worked for a living doesnt mean you can stake any claim on being related to the country!

                  Like

                  • Frank Calabrese says:

                    Ahh, A One Nation Voter I see.

                    And I’ll bet your parents are like this :-)

                    Like

                    • PEH says:

                      nah not a one nation…. liberal mate….

                      and of course, who could forget the crazy italians…. nothing better to do than press olive oil for the rest of their lives!

                      Like

                    • PEH says:

                      and what do you think of the perth trains?

                      Like

                    • Frank Calabrese says:

                      At least we have trains, unlike the country where the Libs sold them off :-)

                      Like

                    • Frank Calabrese says:

                      Ahh, one of Colin’s Cunts :-)

                      Like

                    • PEH says:

                      always better than good old geoffry gallop and carpenter….

                      Like

                    • Frank Calabrese says:

                      Who built that wonderful Perth to Bunbury Highway :-)

                      Like

                    • I thought you were automatically killed when you dissed a Calabrese? Frank maybe they can display the testicles on the vineyard gate?

                      Like

                    • Frank Calabrese says:

                      It’s a waste of time – he hasn’t got any :-)

                      Like

                    • When the Calabreses start their murderous rampage Frank. Make sure they know that no-one has been more supportive of their flagon filling activities than me. No-one.

                      Like

                    • PEH says:

                      wow…. he built one road, yet its still taken how long?

                      and how much of a success was bulldog mcTeirnen for the DPI!?

                      and for all this italian shit, we live in australia, land of freedom, and if ya dnt agree with the pic just shut the fuck up and put up with it! so sad when people like you (the lazy australian & frank) whinge and cant accept other peoples opinions on a fairly biased website!

                      im off now and not coming back, so the lazy boy, get off centrelink and find a real job! and frank go back to being the gay guy in the train back in europe! HAVE A GREAT ONE!

                      Like

                    • Frank Calabrese says:

                      My work is done :-)

                      TWOP 5,000,000

                      Trolls a BIG FAT CUNT ZERO :-)

                      Like

                    • Bento says:

                      The agricultural sector is in fact the largest recipient of government funds, so the Centrelink jibe is perhaps a little ill-considered.

                      Like

                    • FLOOP says:

                      FYI information bento, yes the agriculture sector recieves the majority of funds, but unfortunately farmers dont recieve much of it as it is used for research by governemental research departments such as the ag department and CSIRO …. so that ill-informed cunts like you can still eat!

                      Like

            • B.T. says:

              Ah yes, people posting comments on the inter-web telling other people posting comments to “get a life”. Such a brilliant and original put down. Wish I’d thought of that.

              Like

            • skink says:

              I do love that ‘we give you your food’ line

              if you cut off the food to us, we’ll cut off the electricity to you. And the TV and the newspapers and the subsidies and the tax breaks. We’ll stop forcing teachers, doctors and coppers to spend two years of their lives in the bush looking after you.

              you can sit in the dark with only your banjo for entertainment.

              Like

  57. Cassie says:

    What a stereotypical load of crap! its a poster for a fun & feral night, an event that raises money for charities and yes in the end it is a huge big party where randoms end up getting it on!!!

    Event organisers provide condoms and alcohol – what do you expect? If a woman attends this event chances are she knows whats going on, there will be a bunch of randy men and a bunch of randy women, choices are the individuals, there is a strong security & police pressence so I doubt that anyone is treated in a manner they wish not to be treated.

    You cant judge a book by its cover is the age old saying so why judge this event by its poster? advertising relies on creating a stir, taking things to the very edge, you are all dicsussing this and as a result all know about the event…

    Do you guys actually attend BNS balls?
    I do, and I am not the stereotype you seem to believe befits the bns attender…
    I study Business at uni, I work for an accounting firm, I own an investment property and am paying off my own home – a small farm (argh shoot me Im a hillbilly!!!), I paint my nails, I wash & brush my hair & teeth (which i must say are my own), I wear heels and thongs and boots (obviously not at the same time) and jeans and skirts I do not wear checked shirts or own a gun or vote labor, I listen to country mucis but am looking forward to rocking it up at a Little Birdy concert – what is my scene??? (to rob a great Aussie band of their song). label me and put me where i belong…

    To say that BNS goers are moleskin wearing ag students living off a trust fund is incorrect and a blatant mis-representation! how many people actually fit that mould?

    I suggest you go to a ball and see the fun & feralness that goes on, see the country & city and the in-between crowds mix in together and enjoy themselves, see the benefits of the increased visitors to small towns, the local pub the friday night before, the pie shop the fuel stop and then the charities that receive the donations – they all benefit, whats the problem?? Sure some troubles errupt but great friendships are often made at these events.

    Ive been to balls all over Australia, they represent a fun and wild behaviour which for many (myself included) it provides an opportunity to relax, and let loose without a care in the world or a worry about how people are looking at you and or thinking about you.

    Why not accept that and applaud someone having the balls to show a bit of artisitic flair and maybe going too far or showing things how they are… The poster doesnt represent a human yes sexes are resembled but it is in jest.

    If you cant laugh at yourself you have given the job to someone else.

    Like

  58. OutbackJazzie says:

    I must say what has been said in this thread can not be taken lightly and laughed at … You have directly attacked the country people, so being a COUNTRY PERSON … You have therefore in a sense directly attacked me … Also I find a few of the shirts you mentioned rather offensive and would not buy such an item … Something like ‘Sorry about your face’ or ‘My anger management class pisses me off’ or ‘I need a little head’ with the picture of a person with a little body and big head … That is humour …

    I was just here to present the country side of things, and I believe I have done that so I feel no need to continue my presence here … So goodbye to you rude city lot … And any of you country lot looking to keep contact you can find me on countrybns.com under the same user name, or contact me via the e-mail address listed further up :)

    Like

  59. skink says:

    if you really want to attract the redneck bogan element, all you have to do is type:

    Schapelle Corby is GUILTY.

    just watch the Queensland traffic surge

    Like

  60. poor lisa says:

    Best
    Thread
    Ever

    Like

    • Richarbl says:

      I agree PL, amusingly the first thing that I thought when I logged was…. 349 comments, What the hell has Shazza done!

      Good to see so many new people feel the need to voice an opinion, thank God Rolly isn’t here.
      I am not sure about the hard working country folk image, there seems to be quite a lot of them doing nothing except muck around on the computer all day.
      I suppose you could strap a laptop around your neck whilst feeding the chooks or sinking your arm into a cows arse but I don’t think it would be practical.

      Like

  61. tara says:

    um shazza i mean no disrespect im sure u have such a logical reason for bagging out half the “true” Australian population who do enjoy a good time as it happens at a bns.

    But however your point of view does not need to be publicised so arrogantly and i am completely disgusted at the lack of respect you have for other people.

    u say u feel the same way about country ppl as u feel about god, doesnt this mean that u discriminate and disrespect god as well other ppls values and actions. u have no right and i suggest in the future u stay in ure prissy little world and well stay in ours u dnt see us bagging out any of ure fuked up posters and boring tedious evenhts do u? so back the fuck off.

    Like

  62. Rhiannon says:

    What the Hell?!!! This is getting blown way out of proportion! Look it’s a play on words that’s not meant to be taken seriously (Her eyes glowed as I shot my load) It’s a tradition.
    And besides I’m 19 years old! I don’t worry about that kind of political correctness shit. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter. And I have more important things to worry about like how I’m going to get enough money to continue my studies, how I can help keep our University from shutting down and how my Dad’s going to get through his cancer.
    And yeah violence against women is OK…yeah that’s what I was thinking as I was drawing that picture because I love being beaten…Idiot. As if geez!

    Like

  63. And to think that when I first saw these posters I didn’t bother to take a picture. No-one would be interested I thought. Did I say how I will never understand you pigs?

    Like

  64. Snuff says:

    If you don’t mind mixing business and pleasure, and although it’s less than 1% of the market, this might help.

    Like

  65. David Cohen says:

    For God’s sake. You go out to work for a few hours and the bumpkins go mental and you miss it all.

    The humanity.

    Like

  66. I think there was less interest on election night.

    Like

  67. Vic Demised says:

    Fuck, I finally made it! What a thread, LA!

    I went to some BnS events many years ago, and saw some things I wish I could unsee. Four blokes mooned me and later had the temerity to question MY sexuality.

    I think it’s a great idea that these community-based events are held in all these far-flung places, so that the locals can have whatever fun they like. As far away from us as possible. It’s kind of a shame they’ve started regulating the whole thing so much; the firearms ban is particularly hard to understand.

    We urban dwellers should not begrudge the odd act of charity for our country cousins, deluded as they are into believing that they provide the food we eat. (How many sashimi farmers have we in WA? How many growers of macchiato-grade coffee beans?) We should support them.

    We city-folk should even pay a BnS levy on our income tax, to keep a proud Aussie tradition rolling along. There should have been a BnS element to Rudd’s economic stimulus package. State of the Art BnSing facilities could have been built in shit hole towns all over Australia.

    Because we city people need the country. We do. To remind us why it’s OK to be living in Perth.

    And we need to look after country people. We need to help them become more contented with their country lives. It might stop them coming to a brasserie near you.

    Like

  68. Pingback: To all my street art friends… « The Worst of Perth

  69. Cassie says:

    Woo hoo you get to call us bns goers dumb, at least ya cant call us spineless, we saw a thread knocking our beloved event & stepped up to ‘fight’ for it or to try & give you guys a different perspective of it.

    I havent been highly sanctimonious or degarding in my comments as you ‘holier than thou’ have been, if you believe attacking people & belittling them & degrading them is ‘sport’ im genuinley concerned for the rep you are giving city dwellers..

    I think at the end of the day be you from the city, country or wherever the fuck you are we are AUSTRALIANS and we need to unite not segregate stop the us & them ideals.

    Like

  70. skink says:

    I agree that this has been the best thread in a long time.

    It was a perfect summary of the state of Western Australian agricunture. If only the best comments could be collated into some sort of pamphlet that could be handed out at polling booths to anyone who thinks the National Party is a good idea.

    good to see some fresh posters on the site, and even better that they are angry. This site needs as much random capitalisation as it can get.

    You know it’s going well when Frank threatens to get medieval.

    my personal favourite was that guy that couldn’t spell ‘fukwit’. What a fukwit.

    Like

    • Well as an attempt to break down the cruel stereotypes that country folk are touchingly naive bumpkins and city dwellers are smartarse wankers, I declare it a magnificent success! My scrolling finger is sore.

      Like

      • Vic Demised says:

        Surely that stereotype has been solidly reinforced now, TLA? Our new country correspondents naively and touchingly stood staunchly together to defend their way of life against floods of smartarsed invective and parching wit from we wankers. Fences mended.

        Like

        • I did like the fact that city wankers stopped abusing each other’s feminist credentials and lack of senses of humour and were back to top form smartarsery against the real enemy. The Countryside. Skink’s retort of “Fray Bentos” to a jibe about where we’d get our beef from, and Bento’s definition of a balcony had me laughing until well after midnight.

          Like

    • shazza says:

      Must be some xtranormal gold in this thread skink.

      Like

      • skink says:

        you may be right.

        my xtranormal mojo has waned of late.

        there is good material in there, but there is a hell of a lot of crap to wade through.

        I shall wait to see if the muse will tickle my nuts

        Like

      • Snuff says:

        I’m not so sure, shaz, although I’d love to see some more of skink’s fine work as much as anyone. Unfortunately, as Jesper would say, not so much as a syllable of the B@Stards’© contributions contains a shred of humour. Then again, that’s why they’re so funny.

        They remind me of the slime dumps around Kal over which we merrily rode motocross.

        Like

  71. Snuff says:

    B&Stards©

    I’ll be here all week. Try the beef.

    Like

  72. Big Ramifications says:

    David Scott, a former roadie with West Australian rock band Bakery, thumbed his nose at his captors, naming members of the band entourage, such as manager John Hopkins, as a CIA agent and saying he was recruited into the CIA by a “Mr Magoo”.

    They also tell a tale of bravery and creativity under the gravest pressure, with Scott spinning a yarn of how Muresk College in Western Australia was a CIA training farm that churned out “active probationary CIA agents”.
    http://khmernz.blogspot.com/2009_08_15_archive.html
    .
    .
    .
    This was in The Weekend Australian a few weeks ago. Be buggered if I can find it on the web.

    Like

  73. Cassie says:

    Try the Beef? seems ur already full of bullshit ;)

    Like

    • Vic Demised says:

      Cassie, you still don’t get it, do you? Regular posters on this site -and lurkers like me- aren’t singling country people out as a target of our bile. We hang shit on everyone.

      Like

  74. Cassie says:

    Na I get it – I do, I accept that I personally also love a shit slinging match. I just dont agree with the mass lot of stereotypes that were voiced by people who seem to be scared of anyone who is different and feel they need to resort to belittling them to remain ‘holier than thou’ or to make people bite & react in a manner to give them shits & giggles. what do you derive from making people get defensive of their way of life?

    I think that sorta ‘sport’ is in no way innocent fun & all in jest, for that opinion to be voiced there must be that underlying thought that you are the best & anyone who differs is inferior.

    Im all for a healthy bit of ‘sport’ just make sure you actually are fit to ‘judge’ before you spew forth a whole lotta judgemental crap..

    Like

  75. Vic Demised says:

    What do we derive from making people defensive of their way of life? Well, some of us derive cold hard cash, for a start.

    At least three professional stand up comedians regularly post here, as well as cartoonists and animators and other people about whose work I have not a clue, but they’re mostly pretty fucking funny anyway. Maybe not as funny, to you, as a T-shirt with “Keep your tits off my eyes” on it, but they write the kind of thing I like to read. TLA may argue my definition is too narrow, but this is a comedy site, for fuck’s sake.

    Very often we make our humour at the expense of others and very occasionally the targets of our attempted wit take offence. Sorry, we do not apologise!

    Like

  76. Cassie says:

    Shazzer what point is it that Vic demised made? point out the point for me please oh wise shit slinger…

    Big Ramifications – do you often feel the need to play the hero & help those mere weak/victimised individuals or mass group? seems slightly compensatroy to me… but its ok I wont judge you!

    =)

    Like

    • shazza says:

      Cassie,

      almost every country commenter has accused us city slickers of unfair stereotyping. Yet that’s the humour of it. Stereotypes are funny (and almost always have an element of truth). Exploiting stereotypes for humorous effect is what many of the commenters on this site do. Not just to ‘others’, but also to each other. It is a satirical site that celebrates the best worsts of human behaviour and endeavour.

      Many of your friends/countrymen and women who came to defend their B&S escapades have missed this point entirely, and have also made some sweeping generalisations about city people such as, all being office workers, narrowminded, ignorant, knowing nothing about farming or having a good time etc etc.

      The difference is, while we were all laughing at the country commenters insults, you guys were taking it to heart.

      Like

  77. B.T. says:

    Yeah, bring on the farting dog. The B&Stards are getting tedious.

    Like

  78. Cassie says:

    oooh its tedious vs sanctimonious!

    Like

  79. Cassie says:

    taking it to heart i guess proves that infact there is one inside, not some mechanical sterile implant that gives off human like qualities without compassion…

    Like

  80. B.T. says:

    Farting dog.

    Like

  81. At least three professional stand up comedians regularly post here…

    Youse better not be stealin’ my shit.

    Like

  82. almost every country commenter has accused us city slickers of unfair stereotyping. Yet that’s the humour of it. Stereotypes are funny.

    That’s why I yell out TERRORIST! from my car whenever I drive past a Sikh.

    Coz not only is it a stereotype of all Muslims being terrorists, but it’s a stereotype of rednecks not knowing the difference between Muslims and Sikhs. And then the stupid Sikhs get their panties in a bunch coz I called them TERRORISTS and they stereotype all Perth people as rednecks… when the joke is actually on them and it’s actually quite high-brow humour on my part.

    I’m so deep I practically live in China.

    Like

    • skink says:

      what is funny is when people write to complain that country people are stereotyped as being ill-educated, retarded and belligerent, and do it in such an illiterate, incoherent, blinkered and bigoted manner as to reinforce the stereotype.

      now that’s what I call irony.

      Like

    • Cassie says:

      And we wonder why there are racism problems in Australia – how could there not be with people being ofensive for shits & giggles!

      all in all it seems terribly immature to me (and im a whopping 25 years old!)

      Like

      • Big Ramifications says:

        I made up that story. But I do quietly remark “terrorist” to my best mate if he’s sitting next to me. He understands.

        We once heard his over-the-fence neighbour talking loudly in Arabic and I said “we should ring the terrorist hotline” and he’s all “ya beat me to it, exactly what I wuz gonna say!”

        Zing! Laugh? We nearly did.

        Like

  83. ljuke says:

    Is it too late for me to post this:

    Like

  84. I think Farmer Palmer from Viz magazine lives out Norwich way.

    Like

  85. Although he hates outsiders, Farmer Palmer once turned his farm into a guest house. The first couple to stay there fled in terror when his son Jethro pounded on their door all night, demanding to see the female guest’s “dugs” (breasts) and in the morning they witness Farmer Palmer making bacon for breakfast by slicing up a squealing piglet alive.

    Too funny!

    Like

    • Search the Web on Snap.com says:

      anyone who pastes chunks out of Wikipedia without accreditation can get a job as a research assistant with La Chong

      Like

  86. CB One says:

    My goodness I’ve had a rollicking good laugh at this today.

    Kudos one and all.

    Like

  87. poor lisa says:

    Can you put this one on a tshirt?

    Like

  88. Rolly says:

    And to think that I missed out on most of the fun ‘cos I wuz in hospital having some horrendously painful liver stones attended to.
    Birthday or no bluddy birthday.

    I am reminded of the description of the well balanced individual who has chips on both shoulders with the replies from our country cousins.
    It goes with the old expression “going off half cocked”

    Bullshit vs Bullshit

    Except that one lot of unintentional bullshitters failed to comprehend the purposeful bullshitting by the original bullshitters.

    Now, may I please stop laughing to attend to my abdominal cramps and hurtful kidneys.

    Rolly
    (originator and copyright holder of the expression “Metrocentric Twats”)

    Like

  89. skink says:

    “Take last week. No matter which way you turned, women, especially those who talk most about feminism, were proving that women are often their own worst enemy. ”

    so says Planet Janet Albrechtsen today, who I think speaks for all the sisters.

    http://blogs.theaustralian.news.com.au/janetalbrechtsen/index.php/theaustralian/comments/feminists_screwing_it_up_for_sisters/

    Like

    • Paracleet says:

      I don’t know what Planet Albrechtsen is in orbit around but its but its sure as hell not Planet Earth.

      For instance, apparently its OK to misquote someone if you believe it is a fair representation of somebody ELSE’s view of your views.

      http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/reply2.htm

      By which logic I assume it is fair for me to assert, as an example, in print that it is a fact that Skink has no testicles, ’cause La Chong said so.

      Like

      • skink says:

        on an vague testicle theme:

        Ricky Gervais was on Conan last night.

        he described a party game called ‘Offal Pyjamas’ in which you pulled a piece of skin out of a hole in the front of your pyjama pants and someone had to guess ‘cock or ball?’

        Like

      • curious says:

        if skink continues to suggest that planet janet represents the sisters he probably will end up with no testicles.

        Like

  90. shazza says:

    She proves her own point, unintentionally.

    Like

  91. skink says:

    I see that La Chong has taken to advertising herself

    she has placed an ad in today’s West. You can hire her to give her ‘unleash the dragon’ seminar at your place of work

    Like

  92. shazza says:

    No help needed unleashing the dragon here.
    Ad isn’t in the Personals by any chance?

    Like

  93. B.T. says:

    OK, I’ve researched this carefully in the past 24hrs.

    Farming is hard work, no doubt about it. I played FarmVille on Facebook relentlessly to find out. I collected eggs from chickens, milk from cows, picked fruit on several kinds of trees, planted and harvested pumpkins, wheat, soybeans and rice. I earned nearly enough points to buy a tractor. I hardly had any time to rest in the hammock Mrs BT sent me from her own farm, never mind get to level 33 where I’m sure the big reward is a ute and a ticket to the BnS ball. Farmin sure is hard work. All that pointing and clicking, I think I’ve got a repetitive strain injury.

    Like

    • Bento says:

      BT – whilst your research is clearly beyond question, Farmville people don’t have the monopoly on hard work.

      I played SimCity on the Wii last night, and that was no picnic either. I built roads, coal-fired power stations, low-, medium- and high density residential areas, shops and schools. I managed rampant crime, and even put out a fire. I didn’t get to the final level either, where I’m sure I would be rewarded with a big pile of cocaine and a tinned pie.

      Like

      • shazza says:

        Neither the farming or SimCity games had a root as the final prize? Or is that assumed with the BnS ticket B.T?

        Like

      • skink says:

        wimps

        I played Caesar 3, whcih is like Sim City, except that I built the entire Roman empire single handed.

        and let me tell you, anyone that says that Rome wasn’t built in a day just isn’t trying hard enough

        Like

        • Ljuke says:

          Well I played Second Life, in which I got to design my own clothes. I then walked around aimlessly, before stumbling upon a strip club, but, since I’m not a paying member, I couldn’t get a lap dance, so I wandered around aimlessly, getting my leg caught in random pieces of architecture, which forced my character to have an epileptic fit until I shut the game off.

          I may be addicted.

          Like

  94. skink says:

    is this the Calabrese family catching up with one of the B&S guys that insulted him?

    http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/mob-fires-12-shots-in-perth-kick-boxing-gym-20090923-g1g7.html

    what I like about this story is that tWAToday have clearly not been to the crime scene, don’t have a photo, so Googled it and published the location.

    Maybe next time they can just post a link to a better news site

    Like

  95. Frank Calabrese says:

    Speaking of Farmers needing Govt Funding this article puts paid to our recent rants from the bumpkins about needing the Govt to survive.

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/09/23/2694201.htm?site=news

    Like

    • Search the Web on Snap.com says:

      considering that agriculture accounts for only 3% of Australian GDP, that means that WA farmers contribute exactly one quarter of fuck-all to our nation.

      please remember that the next time you hear about how important it is from one of these ruritards.

      Like

    • Kill Teen Angst Fan Boi says:

      I think what pisses most of us city folk off, and what the country folk here have repeatedly demonstrated, is the sense of entitlement they have.

      At the end of last year I closed my small business like hundreds of others did. I’m sure everyone here has known someone that has had to do the same during this downturn or any previous.

      Did I bitch and moan constantly and expect the government and everyone else to foot the bill for my efforts when there was no longer any point in doing so? Nope.

      I moved on to more profitable work and finished my degree instead. Some of these country people need to learn to do the same.

      Farmers want to be involved in a business and for some reason they think they have an entitlement that allows them to be treated as if they weren’t one. But their business is no more important than hundreds of others that have closed over time. And no more important than the businesses are to other owners and other employees.

      If it’s unsustainable, move on. It’s not your fault, don’t take it personally, it’s just too bad. Shit happens. It’s probably this inability to do so which leads to such high suicide rates. “Our crops aren’t growing… oh noes those city folks must hate me.”

      But if you’re worried about a lack of water, there’s one way to get a stream to flow.

      Remember, it’s up the creek bed, not across it. Cheer up emo kids.

      This thread is almost enough to make me turn to listening to Ten Speed Racer. Almost…

      Like

      • satay steve says:

        Not that I want to take the side of the ruraltards but I don’t think it’s fair to ask for your taxes back from them when the rain comes. I sure as hell don’t want to pay my Austudy back (the HECS is bad enough!).

        KTAFB I know you didn’t ask for that, but someone half a mile above this post did and I can’t be bothered looking for it.

        Like

        • Bento says:

          Drought relief could be based on the same principle as HECS, no? The government helps you out when money is short, and you pay it back when you are financially better off.

          Like

          • satay steve says:

            Don’t stop there – we could ask pensioners for their money back when they win lotto!

            Like

            • Rolly says:

              That’s my intention if ever I get a substantial win.

              Though, as so much of it would get lost in the bureaucracy, I might choose a worthy charity of some kind.

              Like

          • Big Ramifications says:

            HECS should be backdated like a lot of ATO rulings.

            Remember how the ATO recently ROGERED a whole heap of people with their retrospective “tree plantations tax write off” ruling, despite previous tax rulings to the contrary? To quote Amanda Vanstone: “HECS is only fair coz you get a higher income”.

            … what?! “Fair” in retrospect to 40 somethings who are still alive and who enjoyed free university edumucation and who ALSO got a higher income??? Look over there! [screams like Homer Simpson] Runs away.

            Be careful what you wish for, Bento/

            /not bitter
            //actually, probably bitter
            ///too drunk to decide

            Like

          • Bento says:

            My fellow citizens of civilisation – we need to stop this petty infighting.

            Did you not see what we can accomplish when we unite against those who would raise their banjos in anger? We need to maintain the rurotard rage, lest they come back again dumber, louder, and angrier.

            Like

            • shazza says:

              Bento is correct people. We must stand united against the common enemy. We must stand up to the tyranny of country dwellers.

              “To the rural voters and residents of small, dying towns, and soulless ex suburbs we say this: Fuck off. Your issues are not our issues”. (The Urban Archipelago)

              Like

          • Cassie says:

            As should parenting payments, no??

            Having a child is like chosing an occupation – it is personal choice. unless its not a choice and its an ‘oops im knocked up’ i didnt know about contraception…

            People who expect the Government to hand out taxpayer funds so they can have their child – public hospital, stay home with child – baby bonus & parenting payments (FTA & B), educate their child – childcare (rebates) public education & most other education facilities receive govt. funding. They are no different to ‘farmers’ choosing to live on the land and ‘expecting’ assistance from the government in hard times??

            Having said that re the farmers, I am in agreeance with KTFAB in saying that a whole lotta agricultural practice is unsustainable – so why keep flogging a dead horse? is it cos the government finds it easier to throw money into what is often (or certainly will end up a black hole) than to remedy the situation? Age pension & unemployment benefits are a mega drain on our country – why keep them? why allow bludgers & parents the ‘choice’ to be provided for when you want to take that choice away from hard working farmers who do actually contribute to the economy?

            Why is there so many sets opf standards – if you are prepared to point the finger, be prepared for it to be pointed back at you.

            Like

            • David Cohen says:

              Good to see you again after the ructions of the week, Cassie.

              Do you see yourself becoming a TWOP habitue?

              Like

            • shazza says:

              Cassie,

              how about this for an idea? Anyone who chooses to live outside urban areas (boundary yet to be defined) has responsibility for looking after their children, their elderly, their sick, unemployed etc. And those who live in cities and surrounds look after theirs?

              Country folk can fund their own hospitals, schools, policing, emergency funds, agricultural subsidies, environmental prtotection and restoration etc. And we will fund ours?

              That sound fair?

              Like

              • Cassie says:

                David, yeah can possibly see myself returning!
                Im a fan of a good fight & incidentally Perth (the two seem to combine so fittingly). Am just now seeing Perth’s ‘worst’ side… its dark & disturbing, unlike the seedy backpackers ive stayed at whilst there…

                Shazza – kill the US v THEM mentality (Im sooo not a Hanson supporter but it is essentially 1 nation is it not??) thats what my argument is, I struggle with the notion that we should segregate and discriminate because it differs from us, the belief that ‘our way of life is superior to their way of life so they must be wrong’ highlights a lack of understanding or willingness to understand that which is different, possibly through fear that you may end up liking the different more than the known…

                And again incase I sound like a BnS die hard/tree hugging hippy shit (thanx south park…) Free love, you go to a nighgtclub lookin for a good time you go to a bns looking for a good time accept it!

                Australia is made up of some pretty peculiar aspects, accept the bogan within, wear ur flannos & dunlops loud & proud (stereotypes oops i did it too! haha)

                Like

                • shazza says:

                  Being a city person of some age and sophistication (shut up Bento) my idea of a good night out is a 5 course meal, consumed in concert with a cheeky vino or four. Ending with an old port of course.

                  I have finished with my wild nightclub days, though would have enjoyed a BnS in my time too had I ever been invited.

                  As for the us and them game. It’s all been for a bit of fun and isn’t intended as a serious attack. The relationship between country and city is symbiotic.

                  Like

                  • Cassie says:

                    Naw shazza was this all over the lack of an invitation to the BNS??

                    I wasnt implying that you personally believe a good night out is a nightclub & a root…I try not to do personal attacks =D

                    Symbiotic you say – from what Ive read it seems it is believed to be very parasitic, each a blight on the other…

                    Like

                    • shazza says:

                      I think parasitic is a good analogy Cassie. A bit like pregnancy, to get the baby you have to endure the blood sucking.

                      Like

                    • Cassie says:

                      It is a choice tho to have the lil blood sucker.. as is a choice to live as a bogan or a bogan basher!

                      So it is a case of to get the beef, lamb, cornflakes or whatever produce or city centric service we must tolerate the other…

                      Do we declare peace or has that come prematurley?

                      Like

                    • shazza says:

                      I think, in the time honoured city tradition, we need to form a committee to discuss.

                      Like

                    • Cassie says:

                      Very honourable, as an outsider to both city & country I wouldnt wish to declare a falsity on either’s behalf..

                      Like

        • shazza says:

          Oh god here we go again.

          I said it satay steve.

          It was a joke. I even told the guy I was winding him up in the next post.

          Like

          • Kill Teen Angst Fan Boi says:

            Even though I think I disagree with your particular feminist stance Shazza, I think I’m pretty much in agreeance with everything else you’ve said in this epic thread.

            Like

            • Snuff says:

              What exactly do you think you disagree with, KTAFB ?

              Like

              • Kill Teen Angst Fan Boi says:

                That I get the impression she may be the male replacement type in feminist clothing, rather than a genuine feminist.

                But, who knows.

                Like

                • Snuff says:

                  You think you disagree with that impression, KTAFB ? WTF does that even mean ? Try to be a bit clearer, and more specific, please.

                  Like

                  • Kill Teen Angst Fan Boi says:

                    If you can’t extract the information you need, I worry for you.

                    I’ve called her a female chauvinist pig elsewhere, and that’s what she portrays here at least. That’s my gripe with her stance.

                    Like

                    • Snuff says:

                      For example …

                      Like

                    • Snuff says:

                      Just as I thought. Nothin’.

                      Like

                    • Kill Teen Angst Fan Boi says:

                      Huh? I’m not tied to the computer day and night.

                      Denigrating females based on looks and in the process objectifying them is a chauvinist trait, regardless of the sex doing it.

                      And I would argue that if she is a dominatrix, then that could be construed as male replacement given that eco-feminists and the like equate sexual conquest, and sexual power dynamics as an inherently masculine trait, an inherently destructive one, and a negative one.

                      Do I have a problem with such? No. Do I have a problem with the wider feminist argument that makes it a problem? Yes.

                      Like

                    • Snuff says:

                      … and the examples, in context, from shazza are …

                      Like

                    • shazza says:

                      I think he may find when he digs for examples that he actually has made an arse of himself Snuff.

                      That’s OK KTAFB, it was a valiant attempt.

                      Like

                    • Snuff says:

                      Indeed, shaz, if by valiant you mean pathetic. Still nothin’. You’d think from the way KTAFB was going on those examples would have been a cinch to find. Stranger still that after having gone though the same crap with Richarbl, in this very thread, someone would still be banging on about genuine feminists.

                      Speaking of waiting, anyone who enjoys torturing kids, and hey, who doesn’t, should get a kick out of this.

                      Like

                    • shazza says:

                      I am going to have years of fun replicating the marshmallow challenge.

                      As for KTAFB, I think he may be googling feminism trying to scour the net for argments as to why I am a chauvenist quasi femmo rather than the genuine article. Slowly tying himself in knots. You know what they say about giving enough rope.

                      Like