The metacars that ate Cannington

Posted on December 5, 2011 by AHC McDonald

Decorating you car with a picture of itself is a bit like getting a tattoo of yourself on your backside. Not cool.I tried to find out what Derrida and Lacan had to say on meta texts, but although extensively commenting, they were both a little opaque. Rather less obtuse, Matt says, “Use, don’t use, I don’t give a shit.” Good. A great example to others. Nice to see a long ago worst still existing to the right.

Posted in worst art, worst car | Tagged , , | 25 Comments

Outrage Sunday 31 bedlam

Posted on December 4, 2011 by rottobloggo

Ferrall pere et fils must laugh like drains when they get the TWOPment. “Yack it up, you balcony-dwelling, quince paste sniffing, neo-Kantian corksoakers ‘cos we are about to crush our toes by dropping our wallets on our feet.” Krazy Kym and I walked the dogs this week and we were knee-deep in urine-stained mattresses (none, alas, endorsed by famous Beaufort Street Teh Arrondisement residents). What goes out must come in. I bet BSwaM doesn’t see this in his part of the US of A. An explanation of these pics for aliens like BSwaM: if you lie on a mattress and sing the WA state song, you get 5 per cent off your next power bill. Of course this was put on hold during CHOGM. We were thrilled to see a Dunlopillo: could it have been the very mattress Robert Drewe’s father presented to him at the end of the uproar and confusion in The Shark Net?* Our literary and heritage overlords should’ve taken it away for preservation. I ordered the dogs to pull the King Koil queen from under the sensational pile so I could better photograph it, but they cocked their legs. More urine.

*The greatest WA book ever, despite being written by a Victorian.

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts, vanished worst, worst objects, worst street | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 180

Posted on December 3, 2011 by AHC McDonald

Some bad news first, an insider says that Alannah MacTiernan’s new small bar Swallow, (AKA Madcuntz) is nowhere near finished and is unlikely to be ready for the festive season. Tapas plates and muddlers haven’t even been ordered yet! Shame.

Tullio as a non native speaker Sandgroper claims that this is the quintessential Perth scene, the smashed Adshel bus shelter. He ‘s probably right. At least half of these are smashed at any one time. Nice brick and cocos work too. They don’t have these over East Tullio? I don’t think bus shelters have ever been better than this.
Some original, (legacy?) Arrondissement vibrancy from Bento. These flies have been in this shop window for possibly years. This is the sort of oldey timey vibrancy that will be swept away as more poodle dragging Derridarians and Lipstick Lacanians take over the place…
…to be replaced by this, the tunnel of love.
And, I thought I’d throw this in from Rob C in Subiaco.

Posted in weekend worstoff | Tagged , , | 20 Comments

Zombie Cock Parmenter

Posted on December 2, 2011 by AHC McDonald

Thee Happy Slayer (was that extra ‘e’ a typo Hapz?) Sent a rather unnervingly high quality C&B from the amphitheatre at Harvey Dam. I hadn’t heard of the place. It looks a little sophisticated for rurotards, and charging $128.80 for a family runion there is totes city prices. Good Day Harvey dam. I SAID GOOD DAY!!!!!. Zombie Cock immediately reminded me of another pic from borderline rurotardia (Kalamunda) by Jaidyn Jaxxon, of a teatowel of someone who also has always struck me as a bit of a dick too, Ian Parmenter. Uncanny resemblance to Zombie Cock no? Zombie Cock’s crown seems to have been modelled on Parmenter’s beret as seen in the link! Both pieces have the quintessential bad WA brick too. Is Ian Parmenter an irrational hatred? He still annoys me. All that nauseating banter about the wine while cooking. He was the Eoin Cameron of TV chefs. I think he inhabits Margaret River these days (natch) which is as good a reason as any for a bypass road. 

Posted in worst graffiti, worst personalities | Tagged , , , , | 44 Comments

Bulgin’

Posted on December 1, 2011 by AHC McDonald

Bento notes that Wesley Church, home of the Emo is hosting some more public art. Nothing as outlandish as past pieces, just the simple message that the church supports blacks, whites( and possibly homosexuals), no matter how bad their head decoration. I’m kind of comforted by that.You know, I hate it, but I’m sort of glad that it’s there. I do like that bad art is always on show here. Bento suggests giving the Wesley scene a kind of not worst immunity. Why not.  Hard to tell from the photo, but if that’s the bulge on the white guy… Ah, my jokes would be so much better if Perth wasn’t plagued with such bad audiences.
 

Posted in not worst, worst art | Tagged , , | 20 Comments

Port Ewen

Posted on November 30, 2011 by AHC McDonald

Some more from New York’s Bartender’s skills with a Manhatten, who, tired of treating Perth as his private colony of seamonkeys, turns his gaze to his own patch. Jeez, if he has to resort to CAPITALS for what still looks like a pleasant enough place, then imagine if he saw Darch! Or even Mt Lawley! BTW, see me in the comments here, barking at Perth architects to stop with the excuses. The consensus seems to be that it is the clients fault that they are making bad buildings.

Greetings from the Village of Port Ewen, a historic hamlet on the banks of the Hudson that has done EVERY SINGLE THING IT CAN TO REDUCE ITS VISUAL APPEAL AND HISTORIC CHARACTER TO ZERO. Landmarks bulldozed, churches set ablaze, hideous developments, tacky civic “improvements,” political corruption, garbage-barge commercialism – you name it, it’s here!
First up–an Italian restaurant a few doors down from Van Loan’s (featured in TWoP’s first HRV chapter) I wish I could say the food is good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the front lawn of the house next door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And this is the house across the street.  I am afraid my crappy picture does not do justice to this sham castle, which is built out of tarpaper and fake wrought iron, and which incorporates the house next door, whose former inhabitants moved away in disgust. (Jeez Bartender, it looks pretty good for tarpaper! TLA)

 

 

 

 

 

 

No idea.  Main Street, Port Ewen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are about a dozen of these wretched things up and down Main Street as part of an “arts program” whereby “local artists” “decorated” “tugboats.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Perhaps the worst of the worst.  Until this year, the two beautiful buildings on this sign, one of which dated to 1739, stood side by side on Main Street.  Until they were torn down by a bank for a drive-through branch.  And commemorated with the above plaque.
A better example of “this great thing used to be here until we destroyed it!” I have yet to see.
It literally makes me ill every time I drive past this.
We have but scratched the surface of Port Ewen, perhaps one of the region’s greatest piles of Worst.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks Bartender.

Posted in *Worst of The World | Tagged , | 59 Comments

At the Races

Posted on November 30, 2011 by AHC McDonald

Is there a connection between the horse erection by P&S and the “dislodged” fascinator by Rob C? You be the judge. Mundijong and Subiaco. Cue “Uptwon  girl…”

Posted in worst fashion, worst graffiti | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments

The Princess and the Pea

Posted on November 29, 2011 by AHC McDonald

I’m juxtaposing again, but to be fair, they juxtapose themselves by both being in East Perth. Biohazard by Matt A. Royalty by Buddha Lala Land. The tiara car is incongruously in the carpark of this place. By the way, can someone get me a shot of the abortion (sorry Abs) that is the new Perth Stadium. I’m always driving and can never get it.

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts | Tagged | 2 Comments

Festiva!

Posted on November 28, 2011 by AHC McDonald

Just comparing and contrasting the edge of rurotardia fare from this morning, (ie bong and chips) with the free food and piss we were given at the Festival of Perth opening last night. Was it really so different?
1) Watershed red wine.
2) Sushi
3) A kind of jam.
4) Gourmet steak pie.
5) Lima beans
6) Asparagus
7) Sort of quiche thing
8)Annoyingly small olives.

Posted in not worst | Tagged , , | 44 Comments

The thirsty earth, the savage crows

Posted on November 28, 2011 by AHC McDonald

By Hugh Jass. Gooseberry Hill. Jass must have come on the scenes minutes after the event, as the parched ground is still damp. More telling is the lack of crows as evidenced by the intact chips. Since he didn’t see “beak one”, I would say(unless he dropped this breakfast of champions himself), the unfortunate muncheur was crushed beneath his car. 

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts | Tagged | 12 Comments