Rock & Roll Mafia Hookers

Posted on October 13, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Another from Osborne Park specialist Vic Demised who went outside his discomfort zone to Stuart Street Tuart Hill for this. I’ll assume it’s pro mafia Vic?** Ok, I’ll see your Mafia and raise you another footpath manifesto from Stirling street Highgate. From what I could decipher, written is, “A Mum’s bum, Hookers, Rock and Roll Man, Mal 4 Steph, Porn, Kiss Rocks, Maggies, something about cunts, and Kristen.”

A mum’s bum? You wouldn’t get this shit when we had honest square paving slabs. Interestingly the arrows pointing to hookers points to where I observed an intoxicated prostitute arguing with an intoxicated resident on Stirling street not so long ago.

**Please refrain from making comments ascribing mafia tendencies to any individual or organisation.

Posted in worst graffiti | Tagged , , , , | 27 Comments

Western Suburbs Worst

Posted on October 10, 2008 by AHC McDonald
Letter to Subiaco Post, picked up from Google news reader.
http://www.postnewspapers.com.au/20081011/letters/004.shtml

POST Newspapers Online: Letters via kwout

Posted in worst journalist, worst of perth | Tagged , , | 25 Comments

Winged, Norked and Wrapped in Plastic

Posted on October 10, 2008 by AHC McDonald
Come forth my lovely languorous Swan Valley Sphinx! and
put your head upon my knee!
And let me stroke your throat and see your
body spotted like overripe muscat grapes!
And let me touch those curving claws of yellow
ivory and grasp
The tail that like a monstrous 10″ (Asp) coils round
your heavy velvet paws!

And then let’s go to that fake German brewery
and that golf place with the big balls
and oversize clubs
oh and the chocolate factory

Oscar Wilde – The Sphinx of the Swan Valley

Nice find from Liluri on West Swan Rd Swan Valley. Liluri says they have been wrapped in plastic for months. I suspect they might look better with the plastic on. I also suspect they might be another Busty Big Cats, from back in February, which stilll gets lots of search hits, particularly from Italy and Albania.  Definite signs of straining boozies under that plastic. Thanks Liluri.
None shall pass

None shall pass

Bustin' out

Bustin out

Posted in worst art, worst public art | Tagged , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Tropic of Midland

Posted on October 9, 2008 by AHC McDonald

For a hundred years or more, Midland, has been dying. And not one man, in these last hundred years or so, has been crazy enough to put a bomb up the asshole of Midland and set it off. Centrepoint is rotting away, dying piecemeal. But it needs the coup de grace, it needs to be blown to smithereens. Not one of us is intact, and yet we have in us all the continents and the seas between the continents and the birds of the air. We are going to put it down — the evolution of the Midland station precinct which has died but which has not been buried.
Henry Miller Tropic of Midland

Nice try Midland. Very nice try, but I think a tropical paint makeover was a little ambitious. I would have gone with a boot stamping a human face forever. Haven’t been down Midland way for a while. This is one reason why. If you are a Henry Miller fan, let me recommend Opus Pistorum.

On The Beach

On The Beach

Posted in worst advertising, worst graphic design, worst sign | Tagged , , | 11 Comments

Coming Worst Events

Posted on October 8, 2008 by AHC McDonald

POSTPONED? This event may have been postponed. Murray’s tentacles reach very far.

The future of Journalism Conference sponsored by Media, Entertainment & Arts Alliance/Walkley Foundation link is not yet updated, but as far as the (yet to be finalised) lineup is at the moment I will be alongside Poll Bludger’s William Bowe and Keryn McKinnon – Foi blogger, West Australian, talking about
Bloggers: Amateur netizens or dedicated professionals? Is the future in the hands of citizen journalists?

I will be concentrating on how Paul Murray ex editor of The West Australian is defining citizen journalism/new media in several ways, cutting and pasting vast swathes from other sources to pad out content. How new media is that? Sometimes quoting his own pieces! I may even address the actual topic. Who knows? Watch this space for more details on how to register. If you come along, be sure to buy me a drink.

She-Ra Lisa Scaffidi will be talking about the future of Perth, which could be quite interesting for The Worst of Perth readers, particularly in regards to public art and architecture. I will try and ask her about the proposed sculpture park and the plans for Forrest Place. You can also come along, but it will cost you about $80, including brekkie.

Interesting that the venue for She-Ra, and Paul Murray Citizen Journalist is at the Hyatt, already featured as one of Perth’s worst buildings.

Posted in worst of perth | Tagged , , , , | 31 Comments

The Door of Perception (with teatowel holder)

Posted on October 8, 2008 by AHC McDonald

(Dont forget the Win Big with the Worst of Perth, Town of Vincent competition is running this week. get your entries in.)

The heads are pouring in by the hundreds into Oats Street Carlisle, bombed out of their gourds, hundreds of heads coming out into the absolute open for the first time…looking so bizarre and so totally smoked that no one could believe they were. Nobody would risk it in public like that…A hulking crazed whirlpool. That’s what Carlisle is like since the Circle route 98/99 bus service started.
Tom Wolfe The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test

The horizontal door to perception, unaccountably nailed to window in Carlisle.

this is the end

this is the end

my beautiful friend

my beautiful friend

Posted in worst house | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

Can’t buy me mice

Posted on October 7, 2008 by AHC McDonald

(Dont forget the Win Big with the Worst of Perth, Town of Vincent competition is running this week. get your entries in.)

A very poor man may be said in some sense to have a demand for Merrys leather happiness; he might live to have it; but his demand is not an effectual demand, and the commodity can never be brought to market in order to satisfy it. The demand for a free mouse however…There is no such thing as a free mouse.
Adam Smith The Wealth of Nations, Book I, Chapter VII
Happiness in leather form

Happiness in leather form

There's no such thing as a free mouse

I just told you. No such thing as a free mouse.

Posted in worst advertising, worst sign | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

Posh

Posted on October 6, 2008 by AHC McDonald

(Dont forget the Win Big with the Worst of Perth, Town of Vincent competition is running this week. get your entries in.)

Vic Demised snapped this shot of a toilet on Barrack Street. Please thank me for cropping out his willie. (If that’s what it was). Vic wonders why the piss button isn’t labelled Becks. Me, I wonder why you were on Barrack Vic. It’s a known ‘beat” for comedians, where they gather for anonymous sex with other comedians.

And another slightly related one from me. Is there really a problem with people leaving some of their money in the tray. Should you leave a tip?

Posted in worst sign, worst toilet | Tagged , | 14 Comments

The Last Soldier

Posted on October 5, 2008 by AHC McDonald

A Sunday worst in the form of condemnation and a plea from the mining and Colin Barnett expert, MyNing. The fuel that powers the MyNing Barnett diatribes, Swan Stout, is apparently not being produced anymore. MyNing has scoured and emptied all the bottleshops in the Beaufort Street arrondisement of this magic elixir. So first he wants to shake his fist at Lion Nathan for stopping brewing it without any information about why, and secondly to ask any TWOP readers if their local piss shops still have a carton or two left.

As to the first. Lion Nathan are the makers of the world’s worst beer, Speights, so it’s not really a surprise that they are out of touch with what beer should be brewed. A poor man’s Fosters Lager is the best way to describe Speights, a NZ South Island brew, or perhaps Fosters made by a first time homebrewer. Insipid, sickly and sweet. Swan Stout however is described as “A distinctive full bodied stout…with an exceptional creamy flavour.” The 7.5% alcohol level is perhaps more relevant to the MyNing case in my opinion.

So next time you are in buying your Black Sambuca, ask the proprietor if they still have any Swan Stout left, and post a comment with the location.

The last known stubbie of Swan Stout

The last known stubbie of Swan Stout. Rest in peace.

Posted in *Worst of New Zealand, *Worst of The World, worst food | Tagged | 30 Comments