The Worst of Perth

Stop the presses, we’ve got someone who didn’t see anything!. Jeezus, I did say I wasn’t going to do any more West Stories, but come one, two dishonest loads of bollocks on the front page of Saturday’s West was too much. Vote rigging scandal in the mayoral (ie clitoral) election! My god no! Up to six (count’em) six  votes might have been bogus! I pity the cat still up a tree that was bumped for this shite. Look, everyone knows that Lisa She-Ra Princess of Power Scaffidi is a little bit of a crackpot, albeit one that actually seems to care a lot about the city, but there’s certainly no story in 6 stray votes, when her rival’s platform rested on underground rubbish chutes. Underground as in troglodyte underworld  waste disposal. Remember when Iron man had to investigate the skyscrapers sucked underground by the Green Whatsit? Or was that Spiderman? Like that anyway. Sean Cowan must have thrown a party on getting this dross onto the front page. But the “Inside story” of the shark attack teaser was shitty even for the West. An extensive interview with a man who admits he saw nothing because he was swimming in the opposite direction? The same nothing that other beachgoers saw on the day and which was reported – ie “We saw nothing.” How can it be an inside story when he was swimming the other way and saw no action? Two non stories, with one dishonestly slanted to sell a few more pages of airconditioner ads. A few dozen more pages of airconditioner ads.