Pump The Stump. Election 08

Posted on August 29, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Carp Pic Barn Pic
First three worst contenders. McGowan Lab. O'brien Lib. and Sullivan for Invisibility and stupidity .com AKA Family Fist.

First three worst contenders. McGowan Lab. O'brien Lib. and Sullivan for Invisibility and stupidity .com AKA Family Fist.

3 more worsts. Carps, washed out or washed up? Matt loves Colin

3 more worsts. Carps, washed out or washed up? Matt loves Colin

After whingeing, here is another election hopeful’s shot, the extraordinary Albert Jacob sent by Poor Lisa, or was it another Lisa? Could he get a role in The League of Gentlemen?

I want your business and am prepared to pay for it

I want your business and am prepared to pay for it

Here’s another shot from Teh Albert’s website… OK I cropped it. Just making the point that Colin Barnett needs all the arses like this he can get. The liberal demographic wouldn’t usually run to this sort of backside. More like the Paul Murray “Asian Elephant” style. Kudos Albert to get this level of backside on board.

Vote Albert jacob

Vote Albert Jacob

The full shot. Jeez why did I bother?

So, where would I go to get my roots done Albert? Currambine. Are you fucking insane?

So, where would I go to get my roots done Albert? Currambine. Are you fucking insane?

Here you can park your worst of election 08. Colin’s Far Canal to Carps’ Burkean Conflict. I’ll add pictures of the worsters as they come up. Particularly the also ran types everyone might not be so familiar with their incompetence.

Is that Noel chriton Browne?

Is that Noel chriton Browne?

Do people actually care about Burke these days? Libs Ad from Frank.

More like tool shed.

More like tool shed.

Another good one from Frank. The Libs tool shed.

And another odd looker via Teh ‘Rage. If you’re going beard, add some arses Peter. Is he trying to look like a Chinese Wombat? Libs in Guildford.

Working hard to appear in your nightmares in the Basso area.

Working hard to appear in your nightmares in the Basso area.

Martin Whitely ALP for Bassendean is no oil painting. Cthulhu like lips. For some reason appears on a scientologist website.

Posted in worst of perth | 196 Comments

Hydrophobia

Posted on August 29, 2008 by AHC McDonald
When you’re selling a hydro setup, perhaps you should use an example of a plant that’s not dying. How can you expect us to entrust our precious mull seedlings to you guys? I won’t be getting a turbo tank from this place. It is just a few steps from Stephen Smith’s office, which you can see in the google street view below. If you swing the view around to the right, you can see the office of the member for Maylands Judy Edwards. No wonder the plants are dying. No doubt the milk curdles too.
For my own use

For my own use

Posted in worst advertising | Tagged , , , , | 7 Comments

White Supremacist Goal Finally Achieved

Posted on August 28, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Or, “The House Jack couldn’t burn.” Have had a few posts recently on faded Chinese restaurants, (with more to come), but The Man Lin in Karawara is one of the most interesting. This is one of the restaurants that The Australian Nationalist Movement, a group managing to be hilariously inept and sinister at the same time tried to firebomb in the 1980s, almost setting themselves on fire in the process. Jack van Tongren, the would be WA Fuhrer was jailed for 13 years over this and other attacks. The group even had a sandbagged suburban house as their headquarters and actually managed to murder someone too. (Does anyone have a pic of that hq?). Anyhow the restaurant which I have frequented several times is finally closing some decades after Jack tried the firebomb rather than the prawn fried rice. I notice the Chans (apparently Robbo) didn’t learn to spell (or perhaps Robbo) either in their 22 years. That must really piss jack off.

Lucky Last Customer

Lucky Last Customer

Indefinately Jack

Indefinately Jack.

Free prawn cracker for groups of Nazis (6 or more)

Free prawn cracker for groups of Nazis (6 or more)

Posted in vanished worst, worst people | Tagged , , , | 70 Comments

Meat me in Carlisle

Posted on August 27, 2008 by AHC McDonald
There was some discussion about the butcher next to the drive through Buddhist Temple the other day. Here it is. Is it deliberate that he appears to be lopping off his willy? Do those snags pick up a bit of neck hair?
The Meating Place

The Meating Place

I came for the meat. I stayed for the squint

I came for the meat. I stayed for the squint

Posted in worst advertising, worst sign | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

Aguirre The Clown of God

Posted on August 26, 2008 by AHC McDonald
Does anyone, ANYONE know what’s going on in this video? The guys in the hats looking slightly more ridiculous than the guy who appears to be an actual clown. What was in the matchbox that passed hands? Mull seeds? A piece of the true cross? Mull seeds? The feather duster and the trolley laden with piss? I was brought up a catholic, and I’ve never seen anything like this before. Apart from the piss of course. I’m glad I walked through town last week.
...and I was brought up a catholic, but wot ter?!

...and I was brought up a catholic, but wot ter?!

Posted in The worst of Perth TV, worst church | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

Deathbox

Posted on August 25, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Johnny Scrotum from Young White Lesbians has sent in a picture I’ve been meaning to take myself. The Bedford Bowling Club. Nothing like targeting your demographic.

Why do they always take game fees in advance?

Why do they always take game fees in advance?

I preferred their previous sponsor, Deathbox Skateboards.

Posted in worst advertising, worst sign | Tagged , | 7 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 20

Posted on August 23, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Instead of international worsts, I thought I’d use this worstoff to try and clear just a few of the giant backlog of submissions. A couple of people have been after this lovely sticker. Fuck off we’re full. Finally captured by Chris.

We're full of it

We're full of it

and David Cohen caught this abomination at Araluen.

Cunt really has become the word of the year hasn’t it? (It’s the new bastard I hear.) Alex snapped this in his architecture class as Curtin. I’m really more worried about the person who is hanging themselves in the background. What’s the future of architecture in Perth looking like Alex? Some more budding Convention Centre designers in this year’s crop?

There has been some discussion about fading Chinese restaurants in Perth. here is a shot of the interior of the Ambassador in Cannington I found in my archives. Former Gold plate, now just white plate. I still don’t have a shot of The Firecracker.

Worst well this weekend.

Posted in weekend worstoff, worst animal, worst architecture, worst furniture, worst interior design, worst people | Tagged , , , , | 42 Comments

I know a bloke…

Posted on August 22, 2008 by AHC McDonald

…who might get you that value meal.

Cookster has really come through with this one. Brian Burke behind a McDonalds counter for charity back when he had hair and a shake was only 65 cents. Even though it’s Maccas, I’m sure he’s still selling whoppers. Is he checking out the woman in blue with the Mr Punch face? And is the serving wench reaching under his apron? Don’t forget you can still get your Brian Burke rintone from Corruption Commission tapes here, despite OZ journos not attributing The Worst of Perth. Wankers.

To thank Teh Cookster for this wonderful original worst, how about supporting him as he takes part in JDRF’s Walk to Cure Diabetes, an event that raises money to find a cure for type 1 diabetes. If The Cookster’s getting himself off the couch for this event, you know it’s important.

Can I also thank M for holding this slide up to the living room light so I could take a shot of it since the fucking epson scanner wouldn’t recognise the film holder. Fucking outrage. Has been a pretty good worst week I think, the septic spa, the drive through Buddhist temple, Colin’s nose. Went past 400 posts this week, and still haven’t reached Perth’s rockbottom of worst.

I must get David Parker to get her number

I must get David Parker to get her number

Show me your patties baby.

Show me your patties baby.

Posted in worst advertising, worst politician | Tagged , , | 51 Comments

Colin, clear your canal mate.

Posted on August 21, 2008 by AHC McDonald

A third post in one day? Normally that would be spoiling you, but Lisa just came through with this from the Perthnow website in their Ask Colin section.

Lisa rightly asks, “Colin why is there something hanging out of your nose?”

A bushman’s blow for every western Australian.

A bushman's blow for every West Australian

A bushman's blow please.

Posted in worst of perth, worst photo | Tagged | 30 Comments

Attributeless on The Membrane

Posted on August 21, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Nice to make the OZ for I think the third time, but I feel a little bit gypped that they didn’t even mention the website or name me as the bright spark. Was it all my media hammering? Mate that REALLY upsets Julian.

From The Australian

“A new mobile phone ring tone is doing the rounds with well-connected types in Perth. Instead of the usual bells, jingles or pop songs, some bright spark has downloaded Burke’s voice from secretly taped telephone intercepts that were played to the Corruption and Crime Commission earlier this year and that are available on their website. So when the phone rings, you hear: “Brian Burke speaking … Brian Burke speaking …” And when a text message arrives, you can be alerted by this Burke gem captured by the CCC when the networking king was sprung doing a deal without the knowledge of his partner Julian Grill: “Mate, mate, that will just upset Julian …”

——————————————————————

For those who still want to be one of those well-connected types, the ringtone download is still available through this post.

While we’re panning, how about The Worst of Perth reader who casually informs me that while she was walking past the zoo in South Perth, she came across a dead escaped animal, but despite having her camera phone DIDN’T TAKE A PICTURE! It was later found to be an escaped raccoon. I’m seething today. I may need to hit the drive through Buddhist Centre.

Posted in worst of perth | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments