I know a bloke…

…who might get you that value meal.

Cookster has really come through with this one. Brian Burke behind a McDonalds counter for charity back when he had hair and a shake was only 65 cents. Even though it’s Maccas, I’m sure he’s still selling whoppers. Is he checking out the woman in blue with the Mr Punch face? And is the serving wench reaching under his apron? Don’t forget you can still get your Brian Burke rintone from Corruption Commission tapes here, despite OZ journos not attributing The Worst of Perth. Wankers.

To thank Teh Cookster for this wonderful original worst, how about supporting him as he takes part in JDRF’s Walk to Cure Diabetes, an event that raises money to find a cure for type 1 diabetes. If The Cookster’s getting himself off the couch for this event, you know it’s important.

Can I also thank M for holding this slide up to the living room light so I could take a shot of it since the fucking epson scanner wouldn’t recognise the film holder. Fucking outrage. Has been a pretty good worst week I think, the septic spa, the drive through Buddhist temple, Colin’s nose. Went past 400 posts this week, and still haven’t reached Perth’s rockbottom of worst.

I must get David Parker to get her number

I must get David Parker to get her number

Show me your patties baby.

Show me your patties baby.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst advertising, worst politician and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

51 Responses to I know a bloke…

  1. Mike says:

    He has a keen eye on Moonface.


  2. forkboy says:

    Fuck Brian Burke……………….haven’t you read that COLIN The HUMPBACK is DEAD!!!…..he’s DEAD people!!!…DEAD!….. I just can’t face the day…….oh the humanity of it all!!!


  3. Yeah Forkboy very timely and informative : bodes ill for Colin’s election chances. Now back to the Burkie threesome : it would’nt be long before the Burke appendage is snaking its way to the girls on the till : given past form.


  4. forkboy says:

    An ode to Colin
    Hunted by the Japs no more
    No BANG but a whimper


  5. forkboy says:

    Which hand did Napolean always stuff into his field jacket?


  6. Groucho says:

    Brian looks a little Napoleonic with the hand in the apron


  7. forkboy says:

    Maybe we should have exiled the Bastard to Rotto?


  8. forkboy says:

    One Mac Burke please Sir
    Moon face fumbles for her cash
    The predator waits


  9. Cookster says:

    Yes, ‘do you want lies with that?’

    Burkie’s personal, private secretary and her superannuation boss hubby lived next door to us in Scarborough. They bought in a bottle of Great Western for Christmas drinks, asked if they could use our driveway to get a bobcat in to dig a hole in the backyard to install a pool, fucked up the driveway and then refused to pay for repairs. Is cunt the new bastard?

    Towards the end of Burkie’s reign small trucks would pull up next door to be loaded with documents. You could hear the shredder churning all night.

    Best of all were the large black cars that would be parked in the driveway (their non-fucked up one) with the number plates covered up.

    Hard to believe that prick is still influencing state politics.


  10. Cookster says:

    Oh and I’d like to see a bit of donation action coming through please – do like Burkie and slide those hands into your long pockets!


  11. forkboy says:

    Cookster – Did you ever get a look in his house? He must have had some VERY large closets.


  12. Cookster says:

    @Forkboy – saw inside the neighbour’s house, but not BB’s… he lived in Balga I believe.


  13. forkboy says:

    Truely a “Man of the people” Cookster. “apparently” BB’s house resembled an Archaeological find of some significance – most of the skeletons found where still intact and easily indentifiable.However, some of the dig apppeared to have been disturbed and some of the bodies removed….perhaps by Grave Robbers with the intent to secure them away and perhaps use them for profit at some later stage………….who the fuck knows


  14. I seem to remember he still lives in the same house.


  15. Under the apron
    a stamp collection fingered
    thinking of her buns


  16. Cookster says:

    Roasting the small fries
    Burghers on the Grille
    Carrotts, Julian


  17. forkboy says:

    Cookster @ 16 – pure gold!


  18. forkboy says:

    although Im not to sure about the 5-5-5 appoach……cookster


  19. Cookster says:

    @Forkboy – teh Cohen will be fucking outraged…


  20. forkboy says:

    Speaking of which…..where is the Haiku Nazi today?


  21. Cohen lectures students
    Veil of the temple is rent
    Haiku lie fallow


  22. forkboy says:

    Well its nearly 12pm……Im signing off and up to “RIGBYS” I go for the arvo……working full time at the C.C.C has its preks….


  23. Cooksters effort could be cleaned up : with an adjective for burghers ; my suggestion
    “Roasting the small fries
    screwyou Burghers on the Grille
    sausages, Julian ?”
    The sausages is to fit in with the Perth Wurst theme park.


  24. Penalty for dumb -5 points, d’oh should be sausage not sausages.


  25. Jack says:

    Note to the CCC: Investigate the drive-thru microphone as this was clearly Norm Marlborough’s first “secret mobile phone”.


  26. Cookster says:

    How about:

    Roasting the small fries
    Burke Burghers on the Grille
    Marlboroughs the norm


  27. Cookster says:

    Which reminds me of how shitty that Liberal ad about ‘Carpenter’s can’t fix everything’ is. Dumb as a box of hammers.


  28. Vic Demised says:

    Policies are nails
    in Colin Barnett’s coffin.
    Carpenter hammers.


  29. Cookster says:

    I’ve just noticed the other ‘celebrity’ to Burkie’s left (almost a pun in that) and I’m wondering if it’s Alison Fan???


  30. Maybe. Is that a 7 logo partly obscured? Maybe you or teh’ Rage can ask her.


  31. Frank Calabrese says:

    Maybe. Is that a 7 logo partly obscured? Maybe you or teh’ Rage can ask her.

    Or it could be former kids show host and sidekick of Fat Cat, Alison Carroll.


  32. Looks a touch “vivacious” for Fan perhaps?


  33. David Cohen says:

    Mouths open, staring
    The kids struggle with the lead
    Somewhere a train smash.

    Meanwhile, I dream of
    Burkie and his Catholic tastes,
    His countless whoppers.

    Meatloaf through the straw,
    Herons fly by the Terrace,
    Armies of the night.


  34. David Cohen says:

    My God Cookster: you lived next door to Len and Brenda Brush??

    * pinches self, rubs eyes*


  35. Cookster says:

    Aye, that I did DC. Fucking outrageous it was too!

    Off the collect children. My own that is. Then cocktails on the PPR terrace.


  36. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Colin the humpleg
    Feels a Burkean coming
    Euthanase him quick


  37. Vic Demised says:

    Pre-panama hat,
    the Fat Man wore an apron
    while he served himself


  38. Bento says:

    Two all beef patties
    Hello, Brian Burke speaking
    I do not recall


  39. BrownBook says:

    LA your fame spreads wider. This post referred to in today’s crikey.


  40. I couldn’t see where. Perhaps you have to be a subscriber. Have you got a link. There was more activity today.


  41. BrownBook says:

    It’s in the ‘tips and rumours’ section of the subscriber email. This link might work for subscribers only: http://www.crikey.com.au/Email/Preview/DailyEmailPreview.aspx?pid=f6435d81-f783-4058-a286-6a6c7e4bb4f5


  42. Cookster says:

    LA – I sent the link in to Crikey as a ‘tip’… doing teh PR for TWOP and sharing the lurve.


  43. Cookster says:

    Oy, cunts! I’m walking this Sunday for JDRF so put your hands in your fucking pockets and fling me a few dollars – you can even catch a pic of me looking like a weird day-glo remnant from a Happy Mondays concert at The Perth Files… that’s where the donation link can also be found.


  44. Frank Calabrese says:

    Speaking of Burkie, here he is on the local version of A Current Affair.



  45. Frank Calabrese says:

    hmm, and not a peep of this from Perth Now either, the ABC even reported on this.

    Nor has the West covered it.

    I wonder if it’s because Burkie has only chosen Ch 9 & 6PR and TWAT to do his whinging ?


  46. Bill O"Slatter says:

    Yeah Frank totally incompetent interview with Burke on ACA. A very strong argument for pre-recording important interviews. ” What ? No didn’t hear that recorded conversation between me and Nullborough”. Burkie at his usual dishonesty.
    Now in regard to the CCC he is up to something , I think the intention is to take it down with him. Chrichton-Browne will be working the back door on this one.


  47. Frank Calabrese says:

    ” What ? No didn’t hear that recorded conversation between me and Nullborough”. Burkie at his usual dishonesty.

    Well in this instance, I believe that the studio floor doesn’t hear any inserts like the recording being played, so maybe Burkie didn’t hear it – Ch 9 should’ve provided him wirth some sort of foldback to see/hear thbe appropriate bit.

    But you are right about the CCC, Barneet and Porter will ensure it will be as impotent as the body it replaced, just so it protects the Hyphen.

    And not a peep from The West, if Labor tried to stymie it, you would never hear the end of it.


  48. David Cohen says:

    Lap band surgery
    Means a weight off the shoulders
    “Kill the Triple-C.”


  49. Pingback: The Hunch Drunk of Osborne Park « The Worst of Perth

  50. Frenchy says:

    I remmeber seeing Geoff Gallop serving in the drive-thru at South Perth Maccas (on the way to the Causeway) back in the days before he was Premier. Was it McHappy Day or some shit?

    Funnily enough he looked very, very bored…a bit down even…… ;)


  51. Pingback: Desserts of The Gods | The Worst of Perth

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