I’ve been waiting for this place in Inglewood to be converted into a vanished worst for a very long time. I originally chose it for that stupid Chineser font that gets used every time something Asian is advertised. Dial a chopstix? Ai Ya! But I really liked the old rotary dial phone graphic. A concept now definitely vanished. The interior is rather modern chic too.

About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
This entry was posted in worst advertising, worst food, worst graffiti, worst graphic design, worst interior design, worst restaurant design, worst sign and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

55 Responses to Chopstix

  1. David Cohen says:

    Coarse rice for food, water to drink, and the bended font for a pillow – happiness may be enjoyed even in these.


  2. Cookster says:

    DC, you’ve been smoking herring again.

    Myself, I’m a huge fan of the Mod-Oz Chinese restaurant… the more chintz, the bigger the fishtank, the brighter the paper lanterns, the better.

    My personal favourites are The Firecracker on Stirling Hwy, the Swan Lake at Herdsman, Foo Gwai in Applecross, China House Shenton Park, the Fortuna in Scarborough, the Jade Flower in Wembley and the Happy Four in Yarraville, Melbourne.

    The Firecracker was a university days favourite, where HH and myself would hunker down early in the afternoon with a choice of beers, a bottle of spirits (usually bourbon or tequila) and maybe some port to finish off. A big bucket of ice, lemon chicken, sweet and sour pork… the usual suspects… and it was a huge night out.


  3. CK says:

    Is that the inside of teh Parrot?


  4. FDB says:

    “China House Shenton Park”

    Oh good god yes. I used to go there with a couple of mates when we were at Hollywood High, wag a period or two either side of lunch, and gorge ourselves on the lunch specials. With $2.50 tinnies!

    TWOP – I have a problem. I cannot see ‘TWOP’ on the screen without singing it in my head to the tune of Mmmm Bop by Hanson.

    Any suggestions, or should I learn to live with it?


  5. I drive past the Fire-Clacker all the time. I am never sure if it is open. There’s one on Manning rd, The Ambassador. It has dragon columns and fancy wallpaper and ceiling. it used to be gold plate long ago. It is now looking a little faded and tatty, which I prefer.


  6. FDB#4 How about I remind you of the worst song of all time “Hey true blue” by John Williamson. That should wipe Mbop out of your head.


  7. rhubarbwhine says:

    I remember The Ambassador being so ritzy at the time. I so wanted to go there in my tender 20th year. I dated a guy who sat in the chair pulled out (for me) by the waiter, only wanted to order food like chicken and almonds or beef and black bean, ordered the 2 dishes only and ate most of them both himself, told me to drink water so I could drive him home, drank all the wine and insisted I pay half (before I even offered, which I did, anyway!) Ahhh the memories…


  8. skink says:

    The Worst of Beaufort Street is now getting too close to home – this one is at the end of my street.

    it’s been closed for at least the last seven years, and we live in hope that Chopstix and the disused drycleaners next door, and in fact all the crap along this strip, will be redeveloped or get new tenants.

    Unfortunately recent developments in the area are shite – the block at the end of Crawford street is falling apart already – tiles dropping off, paving subsiding, glass scratched., and only one tenant – Steven bloody Smith.

    still, the new trees are coming along nicely


  9. Smith has just moved from the Galleria. The only business still operating is the TAB.


  10. Cookster says:

    I reckon if we were ever to have a TWOP grog-blog gathering, it would have to be at The Ambassador or the Firecracker.

    We’d have to dig out our chiller bags, or better still, simply plonk a 4 litre cask in the middle of each table on the lazy susan… of course we’d decant the wine into those fab 1980s carafes to display some sense of style.

    TLA, how about grabbing a snap of that Firecracker facade on your travels one day?


  11. skink says:

    isn’t the fish and chip shop still going, and the wonderful Charcoal Chicken?

    (shows how much attention I pay when I go past each moning)

    Da Bruno’s goes from strength to strength


  12. I took a picture of the fish and chips and the owner came out and wanted to know what i was doing. he always has signs saying “The council wants to close my business…etc”


  13. David Cohen says:

    rhubarbwine, was your date a bloke called James and was he on the dole? (surname suppressed in case of defamation).


  14. skink says:

    the chip shop got pissed off when they built the median strip in front of his shop – he claimed it halved the passing trade and made it difficult for those passing south along Beaufort to turn into his shop.

    He was also angry at the new development next door that blocks the view of his shop from oncoming traffic

    this assumes that:

    a. he has passing trade – folk just see his shop as they drive along and think: – that looks appetizing!

    b. if such people exist, they only have a ten second attention span and the desire to eat disappears before they reach the next turning place.

    c. his trade wasn’t already declining due there being about fifty better places to eat along that strip.

    d. nobody likes frozen fish. he might want to get fresh stock occasionally.


  15. Paracleet says:

    But are the fish and chips any good, more to the point?


  16. johnnyscrotum says:

    No, the Fish and chips is shite even for Zen monks with 20 minutes training. I’d rather eat a dim sim that’s been rammed up Adrian Barich’s enormous ass than eat that crap.
    It may claim to have been a family business for 37 years but you don’t hear the Hitler family using that as a defence. Shut it down Stephen Smith and do something useful with ya big haired life.

    Now can someone please tell me what’s happened to the Civic Hotel. It’s been closed for a month, not that I’m saying that’s neccessarily a bad thing. However I noticed the bloody expensive bottle shop is still operating. Is this another pub that’s been overtaken by greedy bastard retail stores?


  17. Yeah, as we stand-ups say, What’s the deal with the Civic? Where will Darryl Braithwaite play now? Where will the Boney M tribute band strut? Odd that the video games are on but no-one is home. Better get a shot of it.


  18. poor lisa says:

    I’m more worried about Todd Jonston and Peace Love & All That Stuff’s residency at the Civ.

    The Firecracker’s still open I think. I grew up just around the corner. When we moved in in 1974, it was a pretty fancy place. We used to go there for exotic affordable family meals out. Violently pink pork, flagons of moselle on the table and all the adults smoking Winfield Greens. The Hindquarter grill-yer-own steakhouse next door (did they intentionally name a restaurant after a cow’s arse?) was for really fancy occasions.


  19. BrownBook says:

    The goss on the Civic is that it has been bought by Coles or their bottle-shop subsidiary (1st choice liquor?) and will be transformed into, not surprisingly, a big bottle shop. This might just relate to the existing bottle-shop end where they have that big gig room.


  20. rhubarb says:

    David Cohen
    Not a James, and not unemployed. But it sounds like there may be a story in there ?


  21. Were you that er James David? If so I call fucking outrage.


  22. Cookster says:

    Far King Outrage, top little Chinese restaurant in Sunshine on the outskirts of Melbourne’s West. Run by an angry little bloke goes by the name of Dah Vid.


  23. David Cohen says:

    Alas it wasn’t me. The wife went out with a James many moons ago, who was so stingy he managed to save money WHILE ON THE DOLE. Parsimoniousness of Olympian scale.


  24. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Alas it wasn’t me. The wife went out with a James many moons ago, who was so stingy he managed to save money WHILE ON THE DOLE. Parsimoniousness of Olympian scale.]

    And known amongst Italians as a Cuolo Stritto (Tight Arse) :-)


  25. Rolly says:

    Perhaps I shall have to add James to my monicker by deed poll.

    “Alas it wasn’t me. The wife went out with a James many moons ago, who was so stingy he managed to save money WHILE ON THE DOLE. Parsimoniousness of Olympian scale.”

    I’ve been a steady Centrelink ‘client’ for decades and have practiced the art of “cuolo stretto” to the point of perfected refinement over time.
    I even learned my smattering of Italian whilst in that beautiful country for 4 years, keeping a roof over my head courtesy of the generosity of others, as one might expect. I didn’t travel much though, nor sample very much of their excellent restaurant fare.

    That said, there’s little dignity in budgeting ahead for one’s next visit to Good Sammy’s, and social isolation becomes an accustomed part of life.


  26. Beaufort Street fans should check out The Beaufort Street Blog.


  27. King of Bayswater says:

    Good link that one LA – Though it looks like they wimped out on going to Inglewood Pizza


  28. skink says:

    site fences went up around Chopstix today

    maybe soon to be a Lost Worst


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  30. skink says:

    Chopstix caught fire this morning, along with the old dry cleaners next door, and is now most definitely a Lost Worst. It is now a Charred and Smoldering Worst.

    it is the third time it has caught fire in recent months, probably the result of homeless people taking refuge and lighting fires on cold nights.

    it may however be the work of the Comic Sans Commandos, a militant group of graphic artists dedicated to wiping out bad fonts everywhere. Papyrus users be warned.


  31. David Cohen says:

    RIP Chopstix. I will be up that way later this afternoon and will get a (un)happy snap.


  32. Bento says:

    Dammit Skink. I just googled the Comic Sans Commandos, only to find it was probably a figment of your imagination.

    I so wanted them to be real.


  33. There was more vandalism the other day. I too will go past today and have a look. It has been fenced for a long time. maybe they got sick of temporary fence hire?


  34. Frank Calabrese sent a link to pics of the incident.


  35. skink says:

    sorry Bento, it was a figment of my imagination, sparked by these guys:


  36. skink says:

    what are those photos – some kind of fire engine fetishists?

    pyro porn?

    ooof, look at the hose on that.

    I am surprised anyone noticed the fire, since Charco’s next door always emits the smell of charcoal and burning chicken fat.

    the burning dry-cleaners may however have smelt more appetizing


  37. Frank Calabrese says:

    what are those photos – some kind of fire engine fetishists?

    pyro porn?

    ooof, look at the hose on that.

    Nah, radio freaks like me, though the amount of police related discussion has died down since they went digital encrypted.


  38. Bento says:

    My wife is already the proud owner of a ‘ban comic sans’ t-shirt.

    How long before someone sets fire to the graffiti-emblazoned truck always parked behind Charco’s?


  39. Cookster says:

    Damn it, I was down that way at 10.30am this morning for a meeting in Alvan Street. I was too busy looking out for that place selling Ban Mah Tit (or whatever it is) to cast an eye over Chopstix.


  40. Doesn’t look much different post inferno. Smells worse though.


  41. Bento says:

    You never smelt the sizzling beef in blackbean sauce.


  42. Cookster says:

    I just heard that there’s been another Chinese restaurant fire – all I heard was Chinese Restaurant Canning Hwy… Comic Sans Commandos again???


  43. I hope not The Fire Clacker. i haven’t taken a pic yet.


  44. Soogwa Canning Highway Applecross


  45. Cookster says:

    Do you mean the Foogwai???? Fuck, used to frequent that place with my first serious girfriend.


  46. The news report said Soogwa. I don’t know it.


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  48. Joel says:

    Chopstix update! Some enterprising youngsters have turned the interior into a skate park.
    See here…
    Those ledges in the foreground of photo 2 are actual concrete. Impressive.


  49. Joel says:

    Further, the builders have a blog.
    And more photos here.
    Good on ’em.
    One person’s trash, another person’s overused cliche.


  50. The Legend 101 says:

    If you want to see a bad resturant try xxxx xxxx xxx in Bussleton we payed close to $300 for nothing and bucks diner (Bunbury) $10.95 for a tiny little steak its rubbish.


  51. Why is Chopstix still standing. This should have been vanished years ago.


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