When worsts collide is another title that could be considered as TWOP elite David Fucking Outrage Cohen interviews Councillor Matt “Duke Nukem” Buckels in a Worst saturated newspaper The Sunday Times about a project on the Beaufort Street Arrondisement professionally connected with another TWOP elite xxxx xxxxx, …but wait, I’ve said too much. DFOC tried to engineer as many vibrancy statements from the Duke as possible. And umm, adding to the beat?
Worst Talk
AHC McDonald on Save Our Blank Walls Anonymous on Save Our Blank Walls AHC McDonald on Save Our Blank Walls Anonymous on Save Our Blank Walls Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on A Short Stack of Crap paulie48406 on Pizza Showtime! AHC McDonald on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! AHC McDonald on Pulling Off Trucks AHC McDonald on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… AHC McDonald on Private Dancer Online Now
The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
- Snake of the year spat turns nasty
- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
Surely progressiveness and vibrancy are mutually exclusive.
LikeLike
Y’know, only last night I found myself wondering what had happened to ol’ Nukem. It’s nice to know that it’s not all kayaking and organic pesto for the young councillor, that he enjoys the onslaught of high-quality-designed, facade-focused, shadeless functionless eyesores as much as the next wet-beaker. One wonders that there was space for all those diverse amenities – or perhaps they haven’t installed the air-con yet. However, I would have thought a project as progressive and adventurous as Tempo would’ve brought more than one vibrancy to the area – I would’ve thought several vibrancies at least! At least we know there won’t be any skullduggery – very reassuring. Glad we paid that premium.
LikeLike
Wel,l he’s done nothing about the Dugongs or this…
LikeLike
Not one ooshta?
LikeLike
It’s not all about the ooshtas, shazz.
LikeLike
they knock down the Lone Star, and in its place they build this piece of generic anodyne shit
vibrancy my arse
LikeLike
This is where the Lonestar was? Fuck me Mr Antenna man!
LikeLike
Best lose a bit of weight then, skink.
LikeLike
Anodyne? You’ll be calling it rebarbative next.
LikeLike
Not to mention incommodious.
LikeLike
I’m not sure if cunctatious will fit.
LikeLike
It certainly does with the increasingly funny Raine Square development.
LikeLike
The Lonestar wasn’t on Bulwer Street.
LikeLike
I don’t know where this is, apart from being at the south end of Beaufort Street, which is that dead zone where the Lone Star used to be.
No mention of Bulwer – how did you know that, huh, huh?
are you the mystery ‘TWOP elite’ that had something to do with this?
if you are, then please hand your qualifications in at the door as you leave.
LikeLike
All I remember about the Lone Star back in the early 90s was that you could go there for the early opening if you still wanted to keep going, after slumming it at either the Hip-E Club or Arcadia when they shut at 6AM.
LikeLike
The early opener at the Lone Star has been covered previously Bag O’Turnips. Many good times had and forgotten.
LikeLike
there just aren’t any good venues with sticky floors any more, and that heady smell of beer, fags, sweat, urine and patchouli
LikeLike
Seaview Hotel, South Freo.
LikeLike
I dunno, that hotel Richarbl got a shot of a few weeks back looks like it would tick all those boxes, minus the patchouli.
LikeLike
will the Beasts of Bourbon be playing that pub?
will Ed Kuepper?
if so, I’ll be there
LikeLike
Tex Perkins thinks he’s Johnny Cash (Long bay gaol gigs etc) so I’m sure you can catch him at that pub. E
LikeLike
Misspent youth, damnit. Still feeling the repercussions of it!
LikeLike
Beaufort and Greenway? This is either the Briso carpark or car audio. Someone better get onto the BSB and get them to review toba oriental before it turns into a tapas bar.
Tempo bar – If I pay less than $10 for a pint of vibrancy, I’ll know it’s not the cool place to be.
LikeLike
hold on. this is half way between the Brisbane and the Queens.
a bit of a dead area? it’s chock full of kerb crawling vibrancy
I bet the funeral parlour will be happy about being overlooked.
no need for offices in that area – office development should be kept south of Brisbane, and no doubt the residents will start complaining about the noise from the Brisbane and the football
inner-city crowd – since when was this inner-city?
this is exactly the sort of inappropriate shite development allowed by weak-as-piss councillors bribed or bullied or sweet talked by shonky developers intent only on profit.
LikeLike
What so it is the TOBA site? Will it take in the former cuntkini patch? I call this urban vagazzling. (or vajazzling if you prefer).
LikeLike
If it is Toba (and it looks like it is) my displeasure will be most profound.
On the plus side, if they bulldoze Toba it won’t become a Tapas bar or other hangout for the over-sized sunglass brigade.
LikeLike
A burlesque studio, perhaps.
LikeLike
Toba just upgraded their sign too, I’m pretty sure. It looks exactly like the old one but it’s brand now.
LikeLike
Loks like some more urban vajazzling to happen on beaufort street. Disused car yard gone on corner of Barlee street.
LikeLike
To be replaced by… a white building with apartments and boring shops down the bottom. Look what’s over the road, there is a crappy cafe, the rest of the shops are designer wares and tanning salons. Where’s the bloody unicycles!
LikeLike
Oh shit, does anyone remember three doors up from the Toba – Christ Cream Motors? Years ago? Tell me it’s not a false memory. I am sure it was there.
And shouldn’t the new development incorporate the Toba rickshaw, anyway?
LikeLike
I remember the stickers.
LikeLike
They used to service Mazdas, back in the days when 121s weren’t bubble cars (rather, lairy late 70s mid-size 3-door liftbacks with acres of maroon velour), rotary engines weren’t just in RX-7s and the memorably lamentable Bongo vans.
LikeLike
Oh ffs I’m not *that* old.
Am I?
Oh.
Meh, oh well.
Can we have a Christ Cream vanished worst search? Someone must have a picture. It was there as recently as, well, 15 years ago, I’m sure of it. I think they had the Christian fish as a symbol. All very baffling.
LikeLike
Wish I could help you out JaneZ… I am mystified though.
Christ Cream?
Sounds like something the altar boy dreads.
LikeLike
Was around forever.
LikeLike
A beautifully crafted sentence.
Got any hot tips for the NZ Stock Exchange?
LikeLike
That looks like a job for the dark web, JaneZ. This will have to do for now.
LikeLike
Where on Earth did Mr. Buckles get the name Duke Nukem? I read the linked post but I found nothing.
LikeLike
he has a pro nuclear power stance.
LikeLike
and is a minor member of the British aristocracy.
maybe
LikeLike
yeah he’s a total NIMBY-pimby, being neither for nor against a Nuclear-Free Town of Vincent but remaining solidly in favour of the yellowcake trade.
LikeLike
?
LikeLike
Oh, I was hoping he had promised to chew bubblegum and kick ass. Only to find out they haven’t the budget for gum.
LikeLike
he also has solar panels.
LikeLike
ever tried running a Gauss meter off the mains?
LikeLike
I just picked up on your gravatar. Nice work:) Can I use it on my flyer next election?
LikeLike
Why would you want a picture of Shane Watson on your flyer?
LikeLike
Yes yes yes. I’d be delighted. So I see we were bashing the wrong building all along- I’d apologise but I’m really just spouting invective for its own sake so I don’t suppose it matters. Keep on truckin’ Matty :cB
LikeLike
Skink – the article lists the address as 87 Bulwer Street. Wasn’t the Lonestar where the new Coles is?
LikeLike
I think you are right.
LikeLike
The Lone Star was on the corner of Newcastle and Beaufort, Bento. I think DFOC seems to be suggesting this place is <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=beaufort+and+greenway+perth&sll=-31.943022,115.861816&sspn=0.008157,0.021586&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=Beaufort+St+%26+Greenway+St,+Perth+Western+Australia+6000,+Australia&ll=-31.942071,115.866725&spn=0,0.005397&z=18&layer=c&cbll=-31.943114,115.866706&panoid=_63FEIrgv7QvNiWIZjaGmQ&cbp=13,90.55,,0,-13.5"here.
LikeLike
Bugger. The only thing stopping me from throwing this damn ‘puter out of the window is that it’s not mine. Take 2.
LikeLike
Link fail : tinyurl or equivalent.
LikeLike
Strange. Take 2 working fine here, Bill.
LikeLike
Helpful harrying out the newbies, Snuff.
LikeLike
I didn’t see the address in the article above. perhaps you have the newspaper.
yes, the Lone Star was on the corner of Newcastle and Beaufort, which is the quiet south end of Beaufort that has indeed been in dire need of some vibrancy since they demolished everything for the Polly Pipe.
however, rather than inject life into a quiet area the planners have seen fit to inject unnecessary office and apartment buildings into an already vibrant area, purely because the developer knows he can advertise the apartments with ‘live the Mount Lawley lifestyle right on the doorstep of the cappucino strip’
the apartments will be bought by empty nesters, since they will be priced beyond the reach of the ‘young inner-city crowd’ , and these fuckers they will then object to any change to the liquor or music licences for any pubs and clubs in the neighbourhood, on the grounds that this is now a gentrified residential neighbourhood.
LikeLike
..and thus proceeds a progressive and vibrant council. Expect a lot more.
LikeLike
Yep – I had the paper. The pic on my phone was so small, I had to find my tongs and peruse the Slimes, but its nice to hit on a topic which I can crap on about with at least some knowledge.
It’s an interesting point you raise, but I don’t know how you solve it without significant government intervention. The value of apartments is a function of the land value and the size/quality of the apartment. Want cheaper – you’ll have to down-spec it, which probably means only 1 bedroom, maybe 1.5. One bed apartments with City views in Mt Lawley will probably be out of the reach of young singles, but won’t suit families either. Provide more bedrooms in bigger apartments, and the price just goes up more. What do you do?
The article says it has shops and a small bar, and offices, and residential. That’s pretty much round the clock – what else do you suggest?
I live and work very close to this spot – not even the Cuntkini Merchant could survive there. I think replacing the sheds and pole-dancing studios is long overdue. And Toba is one of the most over-rated restaurants in the area – at least 10 places on William Street kick its arse, which is why it’s always empty.
End rant.
LikeLike
It has the beret fuelled riots of Ellingtons now.
LikeLike
that’s not a club, it’s an empty shop with a bar
now that I know that the building is not the horrible white thing, and not on the corner, then I am not so anti
serves me right for believing what the Slimes writes
I am looking forward to the flashing facade, which already has the air of a future worst.
a future worst for future cunts
LikeLike
I think they got us on “look how great our proposal looks next to that white monstrosity on the corner.”
LikeLike
I’m not sure the southern end of Beaufort can handle too much more vibrancy, what with the 24hr Maccas going in and all.
Just need to get rid of the soup kitchen that attracts the homeless and the area will have vibrancy leaking out the ooshta.
LikeLike
CB One you beat me to it.
That soup kitchen will have to go. But where?
LikeLike
Actually, the soup kitchen opposed the McDonald’s, apparently because the users of the soup kitchen would be tempted to spend their money on less nutritious food at McDonald’s. It’s interesting that people expect the Council to behave like the Politburo when a shop they don’t like comes to town.
LikeLike
Seems reasonable.
LikeLike
It’s reasonable to demand that a restaurant (not any restaurant, just a certain type of restaurant whose name we don’t like) not be permitted to operate in an area because consenting adults might actually find it an appealing option?
It’s not the role of town planning to dictate people’s meal choices. That’s the role of education, personal choice, and the market.
LikeLike
Ha ha got ya!
I thought your rant had ended. Or is this a new one?
Anway don’t get all medieval on my arse, you know how the Golden Arches go down in my neck of the woods.
LikeLike
New rant. The previous notice of cessation was related to a different matter, and was clearly not applicable to the introduction of a new topic.
Yep – we’ll see how principled your lot are when your new Dan Murphy’s undercuts the local bottle-o…
LikeLike
I like Dan Murphy’s
I like that they are in Morley, close to where I live, but not too close. In an area with lots of parking, and shopping trolleys for when you are having it large.
I also like my local bottlo, which cannot compete with Murphy’s for price, but doesn’t have to when it is only two blocks from my house and we run out of wine on a daily basis, and are usually too gone to drive by then.
the two can co-exist: nice friendly boutique outlet with friendly and well trained staff staggering distance from my house, and huge cheap bogan booze barn just a short drive away in the horrible concrete wasteland where Holdens go to die..
LikeLike
I agree wholeheartedly, which is why I wouldn’t want my local Council to make planning decisions on whether they like the owner of the business.
LikeLike
So what you saying is that to deny ratepayers another Maccas is to deny choice?
LikeLike
Absolutely. Or do you want the content of your meals to be centrally controlled?
LikeLike
“Or do you want the content of your meals to be centrally controlled?”
From the McDonalds head office?
Funnily enough, I don’t see how another Mc D’s adds to my choices. Indeed, it just forces something else out.
LikeLike
It’s a vacant site. Nothing is being forced out.
I’m no McDonald’s fan. But people who want the Council to refuse planning permission simply because it’s McDonald’s, and not some other restaurant, are essentially advocating for Councils to decide who private landowners are allowed to lease their property to. Based on… what?
First they came for the cheeseburgers, and I didn’t speak out, because I wasn’t a cheeseburger…
LikeLike
I agree to some extent with Bento’s free choice argument. Though as a side note would add that since moving to a suburb that has no fast food outlets, except a Subway, my family now rarely eats junk food. Whilst we are not junk junkies, it was an easy option when it was just down the road. So exposure and easy access does seem to promote consumption. Therefore perhaps council placing limits on the amount of fast food outlets is not such a bad idea??
(This has been a public health message written and authorised by xxxxx xxxxxx)
LikeLike
this would be fair comment, except that this is Maccas, who have been proven in court during the McLibel case to be nasty scheming folk who lie about the nutitional value of their food and directly target children
in this particular case, I am indeed in favour of food being centrally controlled, just as the government centrally controls whether people are allowed to smoke near me, or whether people are allowed to dump asbestos in my garden, or whether TLA is allowed to eat foreign apples.
this week my six year old went to Maccas for the first time. Not because he wanted to eat, but because he wanted a plastic dragon toy from that new movie. Pester power in action.
Maccas have now been forced to allow the toys to be bought without purchasing food, so Mrs Skink bought a bottle of mineral water and the plastic toy, and that cost more than the happy meal.
The toy broke after one day. My son thankfully now knows that stuff from that place is rubbish, and may never ask to visit again.
hate them. hate them.
LikeLike
Passionate anti McDonalds sentiment is sooooooo 80’s. i didn’t know anyone still did it. Are shoulder pads back too? What about the HJ’s down the road? Should that be closed too? or the other dodgy food outlets on the arrondisement?
LikeLike
Not suggesting anything should be closed. Simply suggesting a cap on the number of outlets in the interest of our health and the health of smaller and more interesting outlets. If it was Jus Burger on every corner I would feel the same about them.
LikeLike
Actually shoulder pads are making a come back as is anti Nestle setiments.
LikeLike
sentiments
LikeLike
Peppermints !?
LikeLike
Whoa, maybe nuclear free zones will also make a comeback?
LikeLike
Obama’s working on it.
LikeLike
Obama’s working on it.
(Praps he would like to turn his attention to blog providers who stuff up, too.)
LikeLike
yes, shut down the HJ’s.
I shall be boycotting all the fast food outlets until they release Nelson Mandela
LikeLike
It may be a vacant site now, but once “the arches” move in, it will never be anything else (which is what I meant by “forcing out”).
I live within 100m of one of their outlets and I can tell you that the rubbish can be seen for 100m in every direction.
Skink sums it up quite nicely, but would add that I feel that councils have a role to play in ensuring the diversity of outlets.
I feel the same way about the the Coffee shops in London. Pret anyone?
LikeLike
I forgive Pret because of their chicken, bacon and avocado sandwich
we all have our weakness
LikeLike
Fair enough.
Matt B – what can I have for lunch today?
LikeLike
Oh he’ll approve…
He’s part of the pro-microwave lobby.
LikeLike
Fission chips.
LikeLike
I see what you mean about the rubbish, WAtching, and I sympathise. However, where I live there are 24 hour McD’s in even the smallest, most remote villages, and whether it’s there or in the heart of Shinjuku, they are immaculately clean inside and out, courtesy not of the staff, but of the clientele, (of which I’ve never been one). Good luck unscrambling that omelette.
LikeLike
I think the main issue is whether Council considers a single storey drive through take away food outlet to be an appropriate use for a site that has been identified as a strategic development site. The concern is that it is underdevelopment.
I’d like to think that the particular company behind the proposal is not a factor in the planning decision Bento. We do already have a drive through Maccas so it is not like we have a Maccas-Free policy.
They are presenting at a Forum at the Town next tuesday 6pm if anyone is interested:) That way you could stop me from resorting to dull fact-based postings that are quiet un-TWOP.
LikeLike
Well we’ve lost the sea shell and stuffed mongoose with snake shop from further down, so that might work at the new spot.
LikeLike
Sorry Matt B – I didn’t intend to imply the Council would refuse the McDonald’s for spurious reasons, but that it seems some people want Council to refuse it for spurious reasons. I’m inclined to agree – a single storey drive through is inappropriate underdevelopment of the site, and would be a valid matter to consider. As for the others…
Don’t like their marketing techniques? Regulate the marketing practices.
Don’t like litter? Prosecute litterers.
Don’t like fatty foods? Don’t eat them, and lobby the government to educate people about nutrition.
The ‘Council shouldn’t allow this [thing I don’t like]’ argument is Sattlerian and arbitrary. Should Council also force round-eye restaurants onto William Street?
LikeLike
Ouch. Sattlerian.
I only weighed into this debate because I was surprised to hear your view. My feelings are not very stong on this issue.
But given the choice between a world wth more Mcd’s or fewer Mcd’s I know what I would prefer.
Is Cookster looking after you for this?
LikeLike
You heard me – Sattlerian. And don’t try to intimidate me with your double-posting shenanigans.
I’m neutral on McDonald’s – don’t particularly care, but sometimes a hangover tips the balance to temporarily pro. Not being an elmo, or a child, I tend not to buy the toys.
I tend to agree with the Duke – it’s not a good outcome for the site. But I like my Councils to base their decisions on sound principles, not arbitrary dislikes.
But this is becoming more ‘real’ than even Rich could possibly have dreamed of. Let’s get back to sniping at the common enemy – foreign apples.
LikeLike
Nicely rounded out my friend…
LikeLike
And of course that the Morley one caused the vanishing of the Nottamogah worst.
LikeLike
Every silver lining has its cloud, TLA.
LikeLike
And of course Dan Murphy Albany was open in all its discount piss warehose goodness on Good Friday. I could have kissed La Murphy.
LikeLike
Hi, just joined: I too am a denizen of that most decorous district of Morley. Dunno what’s worse: removing the Nottamogah object d’art or replacing that with a bogan bottle barn? All I know is that it replaced the Brawley, as the Morley Hotel was known by, back when pub rock was king, a bit before my time tho’.
LikeLike
Agreed skink. From the path at the front of my house, as I look eastward I can see through the drive-in of the Seaview Hotel, thus allowing to keep my principles in tact.
LikeLike
Dear god shazz. That dump used to be my local.
Never again.
LikeLike
you live in the Ada Rose?
LikeLike
I would need to look North from the Ada Rose.
It is no longer a dump SW. The Dockers boys have tidied it up, and quite a nice meal can be had there these days.
LikeLike
You mean they’ve cleaned out the bikies from the back bar?
LikeLike
No bikies and no back bar. There is a lovely front bar, another smaller bar with open fire. And a reasonable restaurant at the rear. It is unrecognisable from days past. Google it SW.
LikeLike
So the problem is choice?
LikeLike
Sorry, I just realised that my last comment didn’t quite get across my point. Let me try again:
So the problem is choice?
LikeLike
I’m getting a 404 for that, Ljuke.
LikeLike
Maybe they just don’t want you to see.
LikeLike
Oh fuck it:
LikeLike
Ouch. Sattlerian.
I only weighed into this debate because I was surprised to hear your view. My feelings are not very stong on this issue.
But given the choice between a world wth more Mcd’s or fewer Mcd’s I know what I would prefer.
Is Cookster looking after you for this?
LikeLike
Sattlerian?
them’s fightin’ words
I prefer to think of it as old-fashioned snobbery.
Maccas is for the stupid and the obese, and I don’t want anything that might encourage them to visit my neighbourhood.
A drive-in will create a queue of utes and Falcons which will back up on a Friday evening and a Sunday lunchtime and clog a road that is already too busy.
put it far several suburbs removed, so it will draw them, Pied Piper style, away from where I live
LikeLike
And speaking of Sattler – I notice his weekly brainfart was due today, but there is just an eerie silence. Perhaps his inability to get even a single comment on a piece featuring pensioners, crime, bureaucracy gone mad (TM) and a call for arbitrary application of the law based on the identity of the victim (see what I did there?) has finally done him in.
Dare we dream?
LikeLike
No comments? Really? he should try a post on two poles
LikeLike
I actually suggested that very option to him, several weeks ago. He never takes my advice.
LikeLike
Oh, wow. So you did.
LikeLike
I tuned in to the Rattler around 6, but was just too late to hear a caller called Wayne roundly berate Howard, and threaten to report him to Mediawatch, because the person reporting the Red Bull plane plunge today said “Shit!” on-air when it hit the water. I know that much because Howard went on about what a loser Wayne was and selected a few mouth-breathing callers who said his last name must be Kerr.
LikeLike
that Maccas will be over my dead body
LikeLike
a body in the slab – how outre!
LikeLike
This comment was genuinely funny and deserved a response.
LikeLike
Interesting? Adventurous? More diverse amenities such as… a white office and apartment building with some traffic lights in front of it indistinguishable from the ones that’ve sprung up on every corner of Stirling St and made not one ooshta of vibrance to the area other than bringing a few more shitty lunch bars that close at 5pm and don’t open on weekends. Yeah cheers thanks a lot vincent. City of Perth planning template is just what you should use.
LikeLike
and not even twin poles PL. How can they expect more vibrancy if there’s only one pole per traffic light!
LikeLike
Wot about 190 Stirling? Do brass possums count for ooshta?
LikeLike
totally worst.
and what do you think of the proposed new development just south (?) – deco on stirling?
LikeLike
Worstarama.
A few parallel grooves cut into the render does not ‘deco’ make. By ‘New York style apartments’, I assume they mean ‘overlooking Perth’s Tompkins Square Park’.
LikeLike
i assume they mean something completely unlike what they are offering.
LikeLike
Correct use of precinct and vibrancy. Arrondisement missing, but the key question is : has Buckels buckelsd and abondoned the safari suit of futureism and given his all to developers ?
LikeLike
I’m a little surprised that NO-ONE thinks it’s better than
a car audio warehouse.Porshe dealership.LikeLike
hmmm… bogans or baristas… tough call
LikeLike
Further perusal show’s that it’s around the corner. Almost next dor to camp cuntkini. There’s a hideous porshe or similar dealership.
LikeLike
absolutely awful.
and that’s a professional opinion.
LikeLike
why don’t they put these bland white boxes in Subiaco, where they belong, rather than in my neighbourhood.
pisspoor parochial architect probably thinks he’s Richard fucking Meier
“do you see what I did with that window on the corner – it’s on the piss! – it’s a little bit of Rem Koolhaas brought to Beaufort Street”
not in my back yard, ya hear?
LikeLike
This is just the start of Buckelsdgate. Don’t you worry about that.
LikeLike
…..and I’m more than a little surprised that you are surprised!
Good grief, anything already there has to be better than the re-heated mash that passes for “vibrancy”.
Let’s try a little originality like:
Fewer pubs and clubs with shorter hours;
Spaces for creative activity and education for those not already permanently pickled in alcohol and by other noxious substances that only the young and/or stupid would now indulge in, given the known consequential personal and social damage that results;
Open spaces with passive activity areas where those still with active brains and imaginations can exercise their minds and bodies;
Areas where folk of all ages can socialise without the pressure of mindless doof-doof noise and aggression from those who are emotionally and psychologically ill equipped to enjoy themselves whilst still sober;
Etcetera et ad infinitum.
Pisspots, dopeheads, ice freaks, coke snorters, crackers, smack addicts, and fashion followers of all kinds can all get fucked (if they are still capable).
No hope that the money mentality will ever permit such benign and community building activities.
LikeLike
C’mon, you’re arguing that a Porshe dealership – Porshe mind you, in a hideous 80’s grey warehouse is better than apartments with a bar? If it was a baravan dealership with a cracked red concrete forecourt i could understand the appeal, but people, let’s get a grip.
LikeLike
“……get a grip.”??
Gripe is more in my line.
LikeLike
You peeps can talk to me about vibrancy when ToV gets a buskers festival. Look to Freo for all your ooshta inspiration. As I type, I can hear the wind whistling through the sails at the yacht club whilst simultaneously inhaling odour from the sheep ship shit in the harbour. That’s Vibrancy people.
LikeLike
where are the photos of you on a unicycle?
I heard you were good at swallowing swords
LikeLike
At least that’s what he said it was.
LikeLike
Happened to be in Freo this afternoon myself… sheep ship shit, very vibrant.
LikeLike
Sure, but let’s consider a hypothetical – is a giant turd sculpture that charges admission at $2 a head and makes it onto the must-see tourism lists better than a vacant lot full of hobos? Just because x is better than y doesn’t mean x is any good.
LikeLike
Yes but Rolly claimed that whatever was there before had to be better. I think that is obviously not true. Apartments with bar will be much better than porshe flogging in 80’s warehouse.
LikeLike
yep fair cop. how great’s this gravatar
LikeLike
It’s not about the porsche dealership. It’s about the rickshaw dining house with the blue sign.
LikeLike
It doesn’t affect Toba.
LikeLike
Pardon me. I thought it was on that corner? where Stripper World RIP was?
LikeLike
Between Rickshaws and Camp Cuntkini
LikeLike
Oh from the photo it looks like it’s right on the corner.
LikeLike
Rookie error – expecting the render to be of the development that is the subject of the article. You should know better.
LikeLike
Less evil, perhaps, TLA.
But only “perhaps”.
LikeLike
this is an interesting argument Rolly, not that I wholly agree with you, but are you saying that the kind of development dysfunction we’re experiencing in so many places is guided by a mentality of ‘vibrancy’ that’s inextricably linked with the asinine edge of the drug culture?
Makes sense, in that if I were a property developer I’d make sure I was knee-deep in coke… you could be on to something Rolly
LikeLike
Rolly, for one who claims not to consume the ‘mainstream media’, your perception of Perth appears to be shaped more by Today Tonight than reality. Having been a Beaufort Street Loiterer for many years, I find a night spent between the Scotsman and the Brisbane is rarely affected by ‘dopeheads, ice freaks, coke snorters (well, okay, maybe), crackers (southern American racists??), or smack addicts’. In fact, I can’t have been murdered more than 2 or 3 times.
Either that, or Scarborough is even more of a dystopian nightmare than I thought.
In terms of open spaces, there is a large park about 50m from this corner – do we really need another? I think you’ll find turning your private property into a park results in a fairly low return on your investment, compared to apartments and offices. I find it interesting that people see property developers as somehow different sort of landowners than themselves – ever thought of turning your house over to the public good?
LikeLike
I’m trying to place it. Is this somewhere near the old Civic Theatre?
LikeLike
Mr Bento raises a few issues in his heartfelt missive. Scarborough does have more than a hint of dystopias about it.
Are property developers different from the rest of us? The answer is probably yes. Quite a few people think so including the honorable Paul Keating.
Should we turn our property over to the public good ?
There’s always an interaction between government and property even in private housing ,see insulation solar roof panels or strata management.
LikeLike
These pathetic attempts at vibrancy like what they did to Subiaco. The area around Beaufort and Walcott has *some* vibrancey. But they try to be Melbourne or Sinny.
Scarborough is fantastic, quintessentially Perth. To call it a dystopia is off the mark. To get there you have follow “Scarborough Beach Road” from North Perth as it winds through the, very real, dystopia of Osborne Park, then, as the road straightens westwards and you glimpse the sea, you drive over a sequence of several dune systems that evoke swell in your mind. This same swell that attracts the legions of cheap backpackers that grace the shops of Scarborough, rendering any attempts at gentrification futile.
LikeLike
That’s actually beautiful and spot on, Ronggly. Scarborough’s a perfect emanation of Perth partly because it isn’t trying to be anything. It is what it has become out of geography, misplaced commerce and basic neglect. All forces endemic in Perth.
Highgate is fine in parts, but isn’t Melbourne or Old Sydney Town and whatever gloss on it people attempt to give is never going to make it so.
(Admitted, Scarborough is shit and I never want to actually be there, but I am now rather fond of the idea of it)
LikeLike
Scarborough is a shithole. I have seen no evidence otherwise. Shit beach shit suburb.
LikeLike
Malevolent air.
LikeLike
Bento, dear chap, dystopia is far too kind a word for Scabs.
But never mind, it is shortly to subside below sea level under the increasing mass of concrete, bricks and roof tiles.
Then where will all the dysfunctional surf addicts park their boards after dark?
LikeLike
Doubleview will then become the new Scabs.
LikeLike
I utterly fail to see how we can be having a discussion about the Beaufort Arrondissement without mentioning this:
LikeLike
Or this across the road that is now a vanished worst graphic.
LikeLike
I wonder on each Worst’d street,
Near where the Worst’d Swan does flow,
And mark in every cunt I meet
Marks of bogan, marks of woe.
In every cry of Teh Lazy Aussie,
In every Inseminator’s cry of fear,
In every voice, even in Gozzy,
The dolphin logo manacles I hear.
How the Falcons on fire fry,
Every black’ning Pinder donger appalls;
And the hapless Barra’s sigh
Runs in Jacks down the Brisbane’s walls.
But most thro’ North Perth streets I hear
How the Papyrus font curse
Blasts the new look metrosexual gear,
And blogs with plagues the Worsting verse.
LikeLike
Set it to music and it’ll be a C&W hit.
LikeLike
Magnificent.
LikeLike
Great to see TWoP in fine form again today. Any danger of talking Matt b into another TWoP cameo, DFOC ?
LikeLike
Nice adaptation of one of my favourite Blake poems – thank you.
LikeLike
That really is beautiful
LikeLike
What’s a guy to do, I walked past Outrage (well stepped over) – in the gutter, he was crying in to a bottle that his career had stooped to real estate blurbs in the Sunday Times, so I threw him some scraps knowing that my good name may get him some readers.
I swear Cohen has inserted the word “vibrant” as a TWOP in-joke just to keep the crowd happy btw:) I swears I never said it. What is the journo’s union again!
Incidentally for those interested in the design aspect rather than potty-humour (ie none of you) – that photo doesn’t even show the right bloody building. We approved the building next door – they’ve cropped the wrong building out.
That white modernist thing on the corner is just an artists impression of how the precinct “may” develop in the future. If you know the area, the corner block that white thing is “on” is a restaurant with a big rickshaw in the front garden. The approval was for that car dealership – isn’t it like a big boys toys car rental kind of place? Car audio round the back.
LikeLike
please accept my unreserved apology
no doubt the Tempo development is an architectural masterpiece, with a bar, and chock full of ooshta.
what news of Macca’s?
LikeLike
I hope by “an architectural masterpiece” you mean “box glammed up with some LED illuminated panels in a wacky pattern on the front.”
I’m going to have to work ooshta in to my next quote.
LikeLike
all lit up like a Homeswest house at Christmas?
that’s classy
LikeLike
Can you put a stop to tilt-up construction in the ToV please Matt B. This mode of construction means there are very few true architctural details left. The only difference between these buildings is the type and colour of applique used.
These buildings look like a cinemas with windows.
LikeLike
The problem, WAch is not in the construction method but in the failure of the architect/developer to inject a little aesthetic into the design.
It’s a very flexible system.
LikeLike
I’ve never used it so I will plead ignorance.
However, it’s use seems to have coincided with a general dumbing down of the form of a building. Less use of “real” materials and details. The very reason the old buildings on the street are the beautiful ones.
LikeLike
Or put another way…
If you offered me the choice of a Federation home in Darch, or a tilt up McMansion in Claremont… guess what.
LikeLike
P3eople say vibrant without even realising, so I have no doubt you said it. I did think there might be a little more support for replacing a porshe shop with a bar. I am for it.
LikeLike
On reflection it may have slipped out, and I begged for it not to be quoted, but Cohen knew he had me by the *insert preferred TWOP in-joke word here sorry I can’t remember the name of that woman*
LikeLike
XXXXX XXXXXX
LikeLike
so, is there a pic of the real proposed development?
LikeLike
I just noticed the article to the left promotes Tempo as being “not smack in the middle of the Beafort St precinct, which can be a bit noisy”. I think we added a clause to the approval that all future tenants be advised it is an Ooshta free zone.
LikeLike
Particulary noisy for denizens of the funeral home.
LikeLike
.. an since then both movements have gone underground.
LikeLike
I dont even read the paper but I think the Quokka wins be only way it’s only $1.50 and all the other papers are $2.30 or something like that and dosn’t even have news it’s just tones of ads for idiots selling nothing.
LikeLike