Getting together to discuss books, criticism fuelled by rum based cocktails. Guest speakers and gourmet snacks. If they don’t stack up, they get burnt. A credible effort to read the book essential before burning. For example, if you want to burn Ben Elton’s Stark, (and you really should) you will have to endure every single smug phrase. There are some works and authors that no longer deserve their reputation. Some have held up well. Let’s see which ones.
Worst Talk
AHC McDonald on Jesus saves to D drive Anonymous on Jesus saves to D drive Ringo dingo on Pizza Showtime! Paul D Gregory on Pizza Showtime! Ringo dingo on Pizza Showtime! Scott Barkla on Mike Hunt liam g on Poseidon’s Penis skink on A Two Snack Solution AHC McDonald on A Two Snack Solution skink on A Two Snack Solution Anonymous on Squeal like a Pig Anonymous on Chinky Chow Laurel Cetinic Dorol on Rooting on The Wrackline Cass nicholas on Alexander The Great’s… What Eva on The Lament of The Six Mil… Online Now
The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
- Snake of the year spat turns nasty
- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
Book burning season is nearly on us again, (so soon?). Moving the Cuban Book Burning Book Club to TWOP. Next event to be advised.
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YES. As you can see, the participants are devastatingly handsome. I have a tome or two ready to go. Kosher Commune Casa Cohen this weekend?
(DFOC, stinking up the library).
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You have any Ben Elton? Save it for when I get back.
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What have you got marinating?
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I may have a prime Macca ready for some extra hot coals.
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Lovely book burning weather. Trouble is, I’ve burnt almost everything that deserved it on my shelves. I actually threw ben Elton’s Stark in the bin after reading 1/3 of it, before book burning became this cool thing to do. Do I have to rebuy it to burn it?
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I will get some Winton logs in from the best bookshop around:
http://www.paraquadwa.asn.au/book-bazaar
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I have memory of burning Gabriel Garcia Marquez’ 100 (feels like 1000) Years of Solitude, but I can’t find a photo of it. Maybe I just “dream burnt” it?
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Maybe you wet the bed also, when trying to extinguish the flames?
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Wouldn’t put that fire out. Maybe pour on some kero.
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Must be some fucking Eltons there. I only want Stark though. Since you can only burn books you have read, I don’t want to have to wade through another of his smug works.
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Maaaate. Surely we can throw on books we gave a red-hot go, but had to toss aside in disgust?
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Yes, that’s fair enough.
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Everyone seems to want to burn The Power of One by Bryce Courtney. Haven’t read it, have you?
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I gave The Potato Factory a go: it wasn’t for me, and I haven’t picked up anything else by him.
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potato Marketing Board shenanigans?
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or….Galati??
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==CULTURE==
“What’s the difference between Perth and a tub of yoghurt? You’ll find a living culture in a tub of yoghurt. “ Hugh Morris Joke Book
It’s true – Oprah Winfrey has never been to Perth, proof Perth is a cultural backwater. If she did come, what would she do? Buy the penthouse at the Ritz-Carlton, check out all them last season size-sixers at David Jones, do a workout at Laurie Potter’s, take a bath in the cooling fountains of amoeba at Betty’s Jetty? She might even towel down and perform a Spanda ballet. Why not? Perth is the new crazy.
As a book lover, she’d be staggered to visit the Cuban Book Burning Book Club and the rum fuelled gathering of Perth Philistines who celebrate their distillations to the book burning warmth of Fahrenheit 451. If you can’t find an old copy of a book, it’s likely you’ll find it was burnt in the stoking coals at the Kohen Kasa Kommune where the scoriae char-char-char on club night. Ben Elton might have been the spark that licked these bonfires of vanities, but it’s evident Tim Winton keeps the home fires burning. Sorry kiddies, as long as **my\delete\delete** his sister is in charge of the English syllabus, Cloudstreet will remain in print. It’s an envious income stream to budding writers. Even failed ones – Phwoar!
Bawling back to Oprah, the three amigos – Henny Fowl, The Rotter, and Ozzie Bludge Sledgeman – of the Cuban Book Burning Book Club could offer her disserts filled with extracted condensates of magic realism as they goo together in conjunto de tres servings of creamy cunnilingus and Cloudstreet. If I read this can I burn the book?
Everthing is normal and right. Lestah looks at his retarded son again. The pig winks, rolls in the bog, and snuffles a Wintoning breath of grunting auto-erotic asphyxiation. Quick laughs. Fish laughs too. They’re both laughing. They’re laughing so hard they roll around the bog with the pig until they’re out of breath. Quick kneels in the mud and laughs at Fish dripping in filth. Fish laughs too. This sets them off laughing and chiacking again.
Oriel comes home and Quick runs to meet her.
‘Can we have some money?’
She slips her hand into her pre-1959 pantyhose and pulls a florin from her kuntkini..
‘Do you want the change?’ asks Quick.
He laughs, the pig snorts, and Fish convulses hysterically. Their laughter fills the briny air. Somewhere, a bicycle bell rings. Mad-dog Adrian howls at a horrified tram driver. Tiger Kelly chases Ginger Meggs down the street.
Lestah feels a little crook, goes over to the cocos palm, and pukes up a gold nugget …
Winfey to Winton
passing muchachos Cubans.
Haikasm, THE END
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I can not make it to Perth to make my argument but please, please burn Marlo Morgan’s Mutant Message Downunder. It’s a fictional book that was often mistakenly classified as nonfiction by public libraries and even universities. Written by an American tourist it claims insight and knowledge of Australian Aboriginal wisdom such as secret healing for broken limbs etc. She claimed to have gone Walkabout and been initiated but the book is a steaming pile of outrageous bull.
Sadly I’ve had to spend the last 25 years since reading this book (recommended by a Canadian friend) re-education people about Australian indigenous culture and history.
It needs to be burnt.
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why would you burn tim wintons dirt music? I dont get it.
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It’s a terrible book and Tim is heavily overrated.
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