Future Perthers Spread Tentacles

Bento sent in this ad for Town of Vincent candidate Matt Buckels. Bento was seething with rage that Matt apears to be sipping a latte, and that he’s not rowing on Hyde Park lake. He’s a founding member of Future Perthers too, which also enraged comrade Bento. The ad gives me the same feeling as hearing Tim Winton speak. It justs shits me for unknown reasons. If Winton wants to save dugongs, I automatically want them exterminated. If Winton wants subsidies for authors, I want them taxed heavily. Same with Matt. Previously I might have been supportive of recyling all plastics. NOW I  am determined to just recycle a few. Previously I would have loved to see Hyde Park’s lakes rehabilitated. NOW I will make it my life’s work to have them filled with unrecycled plastic, then hotmixed over. He has a masters in urban design but is against all talk and no action. I don’t think the two things are compatible.

pertherperther2

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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545 Responses to Future Perthers Spread Tentacles

  1. orbea says:

    Given the amount of much-recycled councillors going round I don’t see the reason for teh rage for this one, other than the ubiquitous incomplete Masters degree

    A worst? Hardly

    In Stirling Terry Tyzack is running for his 35th year in Council, come on, that’s just fucking ridiculous.

    Like

  2. skink says:

    Ah, the rolling green mountains of Leederville,
    the towering Jarra forests of Dog Swamp…

    looks like Winnats.

    Like

    • curious says:

      hope he’s going to save the land of make believe.

      Like

    • Bento says:

      That was my main issue with Mr Buckels. Well, that and the stupid fucking haircut, FuturePerth affiliation, smug face that you just want to punch, and ‘Think Green’ tee that you just want to … erm … not recycle. Or set on fire.

      To me it looks like 3 pics of Tasmania, and 1 of a fucking latte in the process of being sipped.

      Cunt.

      Like

      • Rolly says:

        Bento, you need to get off your arse and out into your own natural environment.
        They’re all WA localities.

        Ignorant metrocentric twat (©Rolly2008)

        Like

        • Bento says:

          They don’t look like my natural environment at all. Not a single cafe, junkie, or gorgeous homewares store in sight.

          Cunt (© Bento 2009)

          Like

        • skink says:

          pig’s arse

          If I am not mistaken, the Hills are Winnats Pass in Derbyshire, England.

          I have no idea what relevance that might be to Vincent, but where I come from winnats is another name for clags, tagnuts, or dingleberries. I think it is a subtle hint that he does not wipe his arse. Maybe he is saving paper.

          he seems to be saying ‘I must be an environmentalist, because I went on holiday to Buxton once, and do not own a single shirt with a collar.’

          Like

      • WAtching says:

        That haircut is my Dad. and its a soy dandy cap.
        You WAnkers shouldn’t swit around and snigger.

        Like

  3. skink says:

    I too am the proud owner of a roof.

    I thought that ‘sustainable transport planner’ couldn’t be a real job, but it turns out I was wrong:

    http://www.adlogic.com.au/smejobsearch/jsponly/JobDetails.jsp?jobId=616912

    no doubt this comes down to asking whether they can afford a few of those nice hydrogen buses that don’t have enough seats.

    I assume that public servants put the word ‘sustainable’ in front of everything these days. No doubt my garbo is now a ‘sustainable recycling removal technician’, whether he takes all plastics or just a few.

    ruffling feathers whilst rocking the boat is obviously a mixed metaphor.

    Like

  4. curious says:

    either there are no women running in this election, or this is a ticket for the blokes.

    Like

  5. Michael says:

    If you start to explore the stupidities of local government here, you’re going to need a bigger website.

    Like

  6. CB One says:

    But what is his stance on vibrancy?

    Like

  7. Frank Calabrese says:

    Looks like a Greens plant to me :-) They ALL say they have no political affiliations, but is as further from the truth – a good guide is who they were supporting at a general election.

    Like

  8. shazza says:

    “..rock the boat and ruffle a few established feathers.” He’s got my vote.

    Like

  9. Chainge Daile says:

    ‘I’m not afriad to ruffle a few feathers’

    Thjngs that about this staement that make me want to vomit blood.

    1) The only other person I have ever heard use this is my 72 year old grandfather and he is forgiven cause he also asks my answering machine to tell me he called.

    2) It makes him sound like a chicken f***er.

    Like

    • orbea says:

      chickens no
      waterfowl perhaps
      as Michael said @11.24am, local government is a rich vein of material, Bento’s and TLA’s choice looks particularly poor,

      have you examined Custard Guts’ Dad Catania, also in ToV? He’s the bloke who banned the Perth Voice journo from sitting at the press table during council meetings, as DFOC has mentioned previously

      Like

      • Matt B says:

        let’s just make it quite clear I’m not aligned with Nick Catania in any way. Next time I may just have that as my flyer:

        Vote 1 Matt Buckels

        Proudly not aligned with Nick Catania

        Like

    • WAtching says:

      Chicken Farmer?

      Like

  10. ronggly says:

    “…improve public transport, including providing a cross-town bus”

    WTF ?? Has he seen how many existing bus routes there are in Vincent, between Walcott/Green and the Freeway ? I can see at least three that run “cross-town”. The tosser has probably never caught a bus in his short life.

    I bet he had a great time at school with a handle like that.

    Like

  11. He’s probably got the best platform of the entire field, yet he ends up here it’s a crazy world this worsting.

    Like

  12. Richarbl says:

    I vote Not Worst, but only to shit Bento of course.

    Like

    • G'day from WA says:

      I vote not worst, but only because there are so many worthier worsts in the local government elections.

      One of the candidates in our area has a catchline “give Klompie the job” on a quarter A4 black and white photocopy (yes I know that’s A6), whilst the others seem to have actual policies (usually, as Bento notes, being generally pro nice things, and anti nasty things).

      I hope he gets in.

      Like

  13. poor lisa says:

    I vote for TLA, against Tim Winton & John Butler; & Matt Buckels & Dud have been involved in some dirt in this campaign, the clean no-affiliation green image is just an image.

    Like

  14. Well this is going well! I just threw this post in to move people along from the scratch and sniff kiddie.

    Like

  15. I assume it will only be a short time before Mr Buckels sees this and replies. Maybe he can be convinced to drop his Future Perthing activities. An online intevention perhaps?

    Like

  16. David Cohen says:

    Back from four blissful days on Rottnest: I’m at the POST reading this thread and giggling uncontrollably.

    I think my fellow POSTies believe I’ve been touched by the sun and smoked too much herring.

    Where is Mr Buckels???

    Like

  17. Slanderer says:

    I don’t mean to nitpick (well…), but where exactly is Vincent going to “grow in the future” ? Call me myopic but it seems to be reasonably well surrounded by urban tourist zone already.

    I guess the quality of local government candidates is set to plummet further when the abolition of student fees really starts to bite and a whole generation of aparachiks hasn’t had the chance to make their early political howlers in the privacy of their own universities.

    Like

  18. Whatabunchoflosers says:

    Wow, what a bunch of hypocrits, you sit at a computer talking crap about Perth and everything that’s wrong with it, and then comes a long a group actually doing something pro-active and you flame the shit out of them? I find this site funny and entertaining sometimes, but by god, you guys are pathetic… doubt this will get posted.

    Like

    • Are they doing anything. There must be 50 perth gabfests out there. Which of them has done anything. I haven’t seen vibrancy one from any of them.

      Like

    • WAtching says:

      Hear Hear Whatabunchoflosers.
      I’ve already told them but they don’t listen…
      I will tell them again.
      You WAnkers shouldn’t sit around and snigger.
      BTW:”Is that you Snack? There is something familiar about your prose that I can’t quite place.”
      Only angry this time…

      Like

  19. Whatabunchoflosers says:

    Might i add, how can you criticise him for vested interested when PCC counciller Hardy, didn’t have to cut his affiliation with hinderance on society group City Vision. Also, i’m not a member of FP, if thats what you’re thinking.

    Like

    • shazza says:

      Whatabunchoflosres,

      I’m glad you have enjoyed this blog, but you seem to have absolutely and utterly missed the point.

      Like

      • Itmakes it hard to criticise people about sitting on computers and whingeing, when you have to sit on a computer and whinge to complain about it. Whatabunch should study the miss nude transcripts for more examples.

        Like

  20. Matt B says:

    Lol it is nice to be the topic of this blog. Seriously guys you’ve never seen a better local government flyer. Do you see the rubbish that comes in the letterbox?

    FYI the happy snaps are from a recent trip to the UK – the lake is Grassmere in the Lakes, bottom left is in south west Scotland, bottom Right is Glencoe, and the middle is a local one at Lincoln’s on Lincoln St.

    I just figured that everone puts a dodgy mug-shot looking very sincere, and I’d rather share photos of my recent holidays – that way I can use leftovers as Christmas cards letting people know what I’ve been up to this year.

    Have any of you guys ever tried making someone vote for you using two sides of an A5. If you want Worst of Perth you should have seen my last DL flyer from 2007…

    Hey dave Cohen – I was going to say “Say hi to George” from me but I gather he has retired recently. Big shoes to fill.

    Also whichever idiot thinks it is easy to catch the bus across Vincent is the one who does not catch the bus much. 401…. pfft… you idiot. Instead you could extend the Subiaco Shuttle from Subi through Leederville and across to Mt Lawley and through to the station again creating an inner city circle route.

    Yes the hair was a bit of a debacle on holiday… believe it or not I cut my own – after years of bad hairdos I figure I may as well look bad for free than look bad for $40. In person I tend to pull it off in a Goodies kind of way.

    Lol ruffle a few feathers:) Hey there are grandpas who vote you know!!! as I say there are a lot of people to appeal to – 1 flyer for everyone.

    Poor lisa – the dirt is quite innacurate from the Voice. It was a letter to the editor… in my books dirt sheets are anonymous and factually incorrect, not signed letters to the editor of a paper.

    Slanderer it is going to grow UP (as in vertically) – but you are right I’m personally in favour of your european model… you could dig out my old stuff on the SSC website re: Leederville Masterplan.

    But cheers folks – nice to be talked about.

    Matt

    Like

  21. Matt B says:

    And duh… latte’s come in glasses. unless you are at 130.

    Like

  22. Matt B says:

    And finally, no the pics were not chosen depending on the t-shirt I was wearing. And “no political affiliations” does not mean “I don’t vote for anyone.” Is there no moderating on this site to that there at least has to be a modicum of wit for a comment to get through?

    Like

  23. Richarbl says:

    Hypocritical, us? How about emblazoning a campaign brochure with photos of lakes, forests and mountains that have nothing to do with the Town of Vincent?
    Is this idiot suggesting that he can turn Leederville into an old growth forest possibly resplendent with deer and bears, is he going to flood Hyde Park until it becomes a lake and everybody will go rowing on the weekend dressed in cheap t-shirts and seventies flares? Is Mt Lawley to be converted to a grassed mountain range where young children will amass memories to last a lifetime?

    I think not! This feckless fool is exactly that. And don’t get me started on his ridiculous claims of experience!
    Doing a Masters is NOT experience!

    Like

  24. Whatabunchoflosers says:

    Well Richarbl, what does experience get you? Colin Barnett has a lot of experience, yet he’s an absolute incompetant idiot, same with half the politicians in parliament.. experience gets you.. vested interests and old and out of date values.

    Like

  25. David Cohen says:

    It’s David, Matt. I am not a Dave.

    Would you work on getting the Voice back at the media table during council meetings?

    Like

  26. Bill O'Slatter says:

    While you are there buddy what’s the strategy behind getting on all these global warming denialist websites. e.g. JoanneNova (crackpot) and ClimateAudit(flatulence) There’s no science to be found there. You hoping to convert them ?

    Like

    • Richarbl says:

      Forget it BO’S. Your type of logic, decency and common sense doesn’t hold a lot of water these days, unfortunately.

      I think you will find our friend probably has a similar capacity to answer questions as car salespeople, real estate agents, telstra supervisors, lawyers and other forms of morally bereft humans.

      Like

      • shazza says:

        Last drinks Richarbl.

        Like

      • Matt b says:

        oh richard I got you with a funny link don’t act all stroppy on me. There was not an ounce of a sensible question in your first post, which followed immediately after my good natured entry to the blog which explained the photos. So I saw an opportunity and got a few laughs at your expense, but also to show you that it is not easy to sell yourself in a few words on a brochure/website.

        Like

        • Richarbl says:

          No problem, we all had a good laugh about your tacky gag, especially me. Don’t worry when its election time I will be putting you down for second preference!

          Seriously though, that brochure deserved such derision.
          If you are expecting a career in politics then I suggest a closer look at your marketing and your moral positioning.

          The world is full of flim flam merchants, it is easy to make a glossy brochure and point out the failings of the existing government but to make a genuine difference to
          peoples lives as an independent candidate is a lot harder.

          The choice you need to make is….. are you capable of making a difference or will you become yet another faceless public servant?

          Like

    • Matt b says:

      Hi Bill,

      About a year ago I was discussing climate change with a mate who is a climate skeptic friend, and I realised I could not answer his questions, and that my understanding of the contemporary science was outdated. It was triggered by a guy who used to work at the AGO called Dr David Evans, who is JoanneNova’s partner.

      So I decided I needed to brush up on the science, and that included the blogosphere. I’m not a climate scientist, but the arguments at a mates or pub level are more commonly at the level of a skeptic website so I wanted to be sure I’d heard all the arguments and could competently put them in their place.

      Plus I don’t mind a bit of an argument at a contrarian blog in case you’d not figured that out by now;)

      IN terms of pro climate blogs I’m more a bravenewclimate kind of guy.

      Like

      • shazza says:

        Not taking a bet each way Matt b?

        Like

        • Matt b says:

          nope absolutely not. I’m their resident warmist.

          Like

          • Bill O'Slatter says:

            an how does how your commitment translate into action so that Leederville becomes “carbon neutral”? The cross town bus will help of course.

            Like

            • Matt b says:

              Are you familiar with the City of Fremantle’s new carbon neutral program? Something to strive for. Of course under an ETS “carbon neutrality” is a bit of a misnomer as technically everything accounts for its carbon there…

              FYI I did my honours back in ’97 on Sustainable Development of Energy supplies in WA and Globally (UWA Environmental Engineering), just around the time Kyoto had been set up and

              Public transport, cycling, density, design guidelines for efficiency. Well planned density is probably the key – your Peter Newman kind of stuff (not that I’m a fan of North Port Quay).

              I’m also a recent convert to nuclear power.

              Like

              • shazza says:

                Iv’e just retracted my metaphorical vote Matt.

                By the way I hope you didn’t cover your roof with the cheap and thereby relatively ineffective solar panels. You’re bound to be disappointed, which may go some way to explaining your nuclear stance.

                Like

              • Bill O'Slatter says:

                Why are you bothering with pissant Sicily without Electricity. Get a suit, a $40 haircut an join the Labor party. They are crying out for people with clues. God save us from Dripper.

                Like

                • With Alannah going, there’s an opening for self administered haircuts.

                  Like

                • Matt B says:

                  I really don’t know much about party politics sorry… but if they are interested my number is on the flyer.

                  Honestly I’d be a better fit to The Greens, but they all (as in all parties) have their characteristics that put me off.

                  Like

                  • Bill O'Slatter says:

                    I’m agreenie but politically speaking they are dead in the water. You want to be a futurer you better start practising Bruvva speak.

                    Like

                  • curious says:

                    being anti-nuclear might be one of them.

                    Like

                    • poor lisa says:

                      Yes, if the greens have one unifying position that just may be the one.

                      Matt here’s a clue, if you don’t know much about party politics it really isn’t your game. Even being on the P&C requires an understanding of party politics. In fact being involved in any kind of group of people requires an understanding of party politics.

                      Like

                    • Matt B says:

                      I mean I’ve never been involved in a political party.

                      Like

      • Chainge Daile says:

        Ammendment to flyer, letterheads and all other forms of identification.
        Matt Buckels, as seen on TWOP.

        Like

        • skink says:

          or Matt Buckels: officially Not Worst

          perhaps TLA could send him a ‘cock on a wheelchair’ TWOP T-shirt that he could wear for his next flyer

          that will secure him the elderley and disabled votes

          Like

      • orbea says:

        The Joanne Nova who was Joanne Codling? That explains a lot.

        Where would you put the nuke plant Matt? How about Leederville Oval.

        Like

  27. Caribou Bob says:

    Not going to lie, i don’t have the attention span to read all the above posts so i’m just going to jump in and say that i suspect this is the same Mat B who was a former Pelican Editor back in the 90s. Curiously enough another former Pelican Editor is now involved in the City of Perth Youth Council. You just can’t keep a good hack away from public policy.

    Like

  28. Matt b says:

    Hey well done bob. for the record I was never a guild politician and just had a good time at Uni and had a blast as Pelican ed back in ’96. Good times.

    Wow in 13 years you have a local council candidate and a City of Perth Youth Council type… wow what a stellar breeding ground for hacks Pelican is. Although I did coincidentally have lunch with an ex-guild prez today.

    Like

  29. Caribou Bob says:

    In 13 years you have former Editors, Presidents, Office Holders and Guild members who have become Members of Parliament, the foreign service, the United Nations, public policy analysts, professors and journalists.

    Expanding backwars in time they have also become federal and state ministers, prime ministers, magistrates and supreme court justices.

    It seemed beside the point to highlight all this. I was only attempting to underline, with some vague gesture towards humour, the way in which university level “hacks” have a tendency of continuing their careers out into the adult world off campus. My apologies, next time i try to make a generalisation on a light entertainment blog i will submit my footnotes as well.

    Like

  30. See Orbea, if I had followed your advice and gone with something else, we wouldn’t have had one of the most excelent posts.of the year Cut and thrust, bad haircuts, corridors to the sea, 3000 views and 200 comments. It’s ten to ten at night and there’s 30 people online.
    I believe I have been vindicated a defenestrated over this choice.

    Like

    • Matt b says:

      I’ve even linked from my facebook site! Three lousy emails I got to my matt4council gmail address! I should have been here all along!

      Like

    • orbea says:

      have to agree

      the green tshirt wearer transport advocate turns into a climate change denialist nuke proponent

      definately a worst

      Like

      • Matt B says:

        denialist… come on that is a tough call.

        Like

        • WAtching says:

          Very interesting MB. But your not seeing the whole picture. I would rather know your views on The Sign of Three.

          Like

        • Bill O'Slatter says:

          Yes unfair , nuclear is going to be a necessary part of the mix with wind , solar and geo thermal.. Matt is not a denialist and has fought the good fight on their blogs. Unfortunately they are generally industry fronts (astroturf).

          Like

          • orbea says:

            how much carbon intensity is used to explore, mine, transport, process, enrich, build the plant, store the waste (perhaps under Kailis or even Dirty 130) and decommission the plant?

            actually storing the waste under dirty 130 might improve the coffee, definately improve the clientele

            Like

            • Bill O'Slatter says:

              True Orbea , or another way of saying the same thing is that considerably more energy is generated from the process in its total life cycle than we put into that process. Generation 4 nuclear reactors are supposed to solve the problems you have outlined.
              At this stage we cant rule out nuclear power as part of the mix.

              Like

  31. ConcernVincentCitizen says:

    interesting (and at times hilarious) thread….got seriously boring once the “self-imploding” candidate started contributing tho!

    Like

    • Matt b says:

      now now lets not get nasty. I tend to think it could turn out to be a political masterstroke.

      Like

      • ConcernedVincentCitizen says:

        I agree with the stroking bit……not the master part!

        Like

        • Matt b says:

          epic fail

          Like

          • ConcernedVincentCitizen says:

            Serious question from an amused observer………given that the cut ‘n’ thrust of local govt politics is so demanding, do you have the level of insanity required to run as a candidate for a fourth time?

            Like

            • Matt b says:

              well the first time didn’t really count. I only produced 500 flyers and was just wondering what it would be like to run. 2nd time I only had a chance if Sally Lake had clinched the mayor as she was running in my ward. If she’d managed a couple more percent I’d have been on I think.

              But serious answer…

              The issue that got me on the front page darn near broke my heart and quite possibly if I don’t get on this time then that could be that. It really got to me being accused of creating some sort of dirt sheet, which I didn’t, and dropping Maier in it as he’d done nothing wrong but 1/3 of a conversation can be a dangerous thing in an enthusiastic local paper’s hands. A massive front page based on a totally legal and ethical action by Maier, and a factual letter to the editor. It was a shame how that panned out but and it did get me thinking if my slightly unorthodox approach was just not a good fit.

              Maybe Town of Vincent really does want very normal councillors?

              Like

      • Rolly says:

        Politicians are mass debaters.

        Like

  32. This has been a very very funny post from both worsters and worstee. So may funny coments. That is what was missing from the great bumpkin debate. They were just too dumb to reply in a deliberately amusing fashion. Kudos and kahunas to all.

    Like

  33. WAtching says:

    TLA: can i retract my Wilson Tuckey comment.
    Or change it to Greg Hoey.

    Like

  34. Matt b says:

    Goodnight TWOP. Thanks for the laughs at my (and Richarbl’s) expense.

    Like

  35. Richarbl says:

    Thank you all for a good evenings entertainment.
    I couldn’t help noticing that Matt would like to accept plastics for recycling, except of course, for himself.

    Like

  36. skink says:

    have we yet determined where Matt stands with regard to vibrancy?

    and where does he think it should be inserted?

    Like

    • Matt B says:

      I’m so glad that word got edited out of my flyer. I’d have been annihalated here.

      Like

      • shazza says:

        Tis true Matt. I prefer vim to vibrancy.

        Like

      • skink says:

        regretfully I live in Stirling, so will not have the opportunity to vote for you

        I am saddled with Terry Tyzack, a man of such hubris that he allowed a council facility to be named after him whilst a serving council member. Personally I find this habit of naming things after living people to be rather gauche, and think that Tyzack should have had the decency to have either declined the honour, or to have died.

        I recall when I moved into the neighbourhood asking someone whether Terry Tyzack was a famous Olympic swimmer

        we swim at Bayswater Waves in protest

        that’ll show him.

        Like

        • orbea says:

          Tyzack – Perth college architect who lives in a colourbond shed.

          Regretfully my ward councillor is Rod Willox, Colonel Blimp who has sussed the numbers from the RSL village to ensure his incumbency.

          no-one else has a chance unless you can rabbit on about serving in Malaya what!?

          Like

        • curious says:

          at least you don’t live in bayswater where there is a john d’orazio park.

          not somewhere to go after dark.

          Like

      • WAtching says:

        BTW Matt B: Seeing as it’s your area of expertise: What IS the accepted international measurement for vibrancy?
        Black Skivvy Scale?
        Ferris Wheel Quotient?
        Tapas per capita?

        Like

  37. WAtching says:

    Therefore:

    BSSxFWQxTPC/FOWFxAWOLFIFO=Vibrancy

    I am calling it the Unified Vibrancy Equation.

    Don’t you dare steal it.

    Like

    • B.T. says:

      It doesn’t work.

      I’m an engineer… I played with your variables to see how this could work out. No matter what I tried (even with a generous fudge factor), FOWF comes out to zero, and we all know that you can’t multiply or divide by zero. All you get with this equation is zero = vibrancy.

      Like

      • WAtching says:

        Don’t blame the equation. The problem is your Data. Our focus groups have been returning quite high FOWF numbers.
        Do your maths again.
        Given that you are an engineer i am sure you will appreciate how well this equation works in thew real world.

        Like

  38. Big Ramifications says:

    Jesus Tit!

    355 comments. First think I asked myself, funnily. Is that a lake in the Town of Vincent?

    Did you hear about him emailing The Voice with some “dirt” on Dan Caddy. And the FREAKEN BONEHEAD forwarded the whole email chain with him and Dudley Maier discussing stuff like “we shouldn’t really be doing this” and joking about Caddy’s private life and how he yelled out “FUCK!” when The Voice journos questioned him on this?

    Probably been mentioned. I ain’t reading 355 posts to check. Oh, and I’ve got nothing against Buckels or Duds or anyone. Purely for the Lulz.

    Local politics saddens me, how it’s become party based.

    Like

    • Matt B says:

      Yeah I explained it was a big of a stuff up:) Yelled out is a bit of an exaggeration… jsut a pointless bit of smear from a local paper ahh well. There was no dirt sheet.

      No parties here mate.

      Like

  39. Big Ramifications says:

    So is Dan Caddy teh gey?

    ps: Dan Caddy for GG!

    Like

  40. Big Ramifications says:

    Sorry FREAKEN BONEHEAD was a bit harsh. Wasn’t expecting you to be answering personally.

    Slinks off.

    Like

    • Matt B says:

      no no that’s fine:) It was a total cock-up on my behalf no shying away fro that! In fact it would have made a better Worst than my elegant and snazzy flyer resplendent with holiday snaps. no offence taken.

      I just don’t know what teh gey meant?

      Like

      • Matt B says:

        You were not to know that I’d become the TWOP resident worstee celebrity of the moment.

        Like

          • Big Ramifications says:

            Come come.

            Just because I grovelled.

            Like

          • Richarbl says:

            I wouldn’t agree with that score so quickly Snuff.

            Yes Plastic Matt definitely scored highly with the cheap rsvp thing but on the other hand I exposed him for the slimy vacuous politician he actually is.
            Even shazza changed her vote throughout the course of the evenings entertainment.

            Surely that is worth one point alone.

            Like

            • Snuff says:

              Minus 1 for utter delusion.

              Like

            • Matt B says:

              Richard other than “exposing” the “fauxtrageous” scandal that the photos in the flyer are not taken within the Town of Vincent, which to be quite frank you’d have to be a complete and utter bufoon to think I was trying to con people with, I’m not sure where you exposed me?

              I reckon Shazza would still vote for me over the other candidates even with my pro-nuclear leanings.

              Like

              • Richarbl says:

                This one is easy.

                Your one single act of including the link to my rsvp profile to win an argument is all the proof anyone would need to know you exist in a moral vacuum.

                To be fair you really exposed yourself.

                Like

                • orbea says:

                  Yeah having internet skillz is so immoral these dayz.

                  Hey buddy, your choice to post a rsvp page, your photo, your haircut.

                  Like

                • Matt B says:

                  1) it was funny.

                  2) the point was, other than being funny, that I was demonstrating that it is not easy to sell yourself to other people without potentially sounding a bit cliched or daggy. Which means I linked to build an argument, not to trash you.

                  3) here I am enjoying the banter created by my flyer which has been posted here originally just to flame me, and yet you are somehow slighted when I say “here Richarbl here is a bit of you selling yourself that I’ve found and am now going to invite TWOP to poke fun at” and you somehow exclaim fauxtrage!

                  hypocritcal much?

                  Like

                  • Richarbl says:

                    After giving point three some consideration I am actually going to agree with it.
                    TWOP has displayed your brochure complete with personal details on a satirical site with the express intention of getting its hacks to rip it to shreds.

                    It would be of hypocritical of me to say otherwise when a glossy brochure of my own is displayed for the same purpose.

                    Fair call.

                    Like

                • skink says:

                  true, Matt has really exposed himself.

                  he has had the balls and the patience to answer some of the criticism and explain his stance on certain issues, regardless of criticism from us contrarians (see, I’ve learnt a new word from Matt)

                  he has also show himself to have a sence of humour about himself.

                  richarbl has yet to show that he has a sense of humour about himself. if he did, he would be laughing at his own baseball cap, and that he describes his personality as ‘average’

                  Mat is only the second person flamed by this site to have appeared in person to defend himself, and has managed to do it without making a complete tit of himself

                  he seems to be one of the few people running for council for some other reason than they got planning permission for their property develpment knocked back.

                  Like

              • phreestyle says:

                I might even vote for you purely because you are willing to at least entertain the thought of nuclear energy as an alternative.

                Unlike Shazza, I do live in Vincent so my vote would be more than symbolic. Unfortunately, I tend not to vote in council elections.

                So you can count on my vote. Possibly.

                Like

        • shazza says:

          Looks like your’e starting to get some traction here Matt. If only local government played as nicely.
          Be sure to mention us in your maiden speech, should you ever get the chance.

          Like

  41. poor lisa says:

    Good to see all the ‘in spirit’ non-votes for independent-minded Matt from people who do and don’t live in the town!

    Me I actually voted and I voted for the Empire headed by Darth Catania. The jedis’ hearts may be in the right place but they couldn’t run a galaxy to save their lives, in fact they all got slaughtered easily and their little green leader went off to live in a swamp then died.
    Hm I’m going off to develop this analogy for deployment in the Willagee by election.

    Like

  42. poor lisa says:

    Wrong corner of the galaxy Matt. This ward of Vincent’s already plenty vibrant for my liking, what it really needs is more walrus sculptures.

    Like

  43. WAtching says:

    I’m glad we’ve cleared that up.
    Now seriously…
    TLA: Can we have Tim Winton on Tomorrow?

    Like

    • Matt b says:

      if I get elected tomorrow Tim may cotton on to what a boost to status being featured on TWOP can be.

      Like

      • chaingedaile says:

        Will you still talk to us once you’re all elected and celebrity-like? More importantly, will you institute the ‘Everything Should be Modelled on BunVegas’ model as your council policy?

        Like

        • Matt b says:

          well I’ve never spoken to you before so no I’ll probably come back. maybe once and tell you all what I really think of this crappy little website.

          But in 5 years when an Icon Building at the south end of Oxford St looks a lot like the Lord Forest Hotel…

          Like

      • Richarbl says:

        If you get elected tomorrow and oddly I would like to see that, what are your plans in regard to some of your election standpoints.

        This mostly a serious question so I will pick something fairly easy, exactly what do have in mind for Hyde Park?

        Like

        • Matt b says:

          well they just approved the masterplan on Tuesday night so it may be too late for me to do much other than make sure it actually happens and is not just an inactioned report.

          The issue is the lakes… I love the park as it is but the lakes either need water all year or they need some soft edges and native conversions. They’ve gone the water all year approach.

          The kids playground at the west end needs a total overhaul and I’ll make sure it is not soft as anything and have some slides and other stuff that’ll put hair on your chest. Was just in the OK (the photos) and seriously they let kids parks actually be exciting and fast rather than completely lame. couple of great ones in Edinburgh.

          I’ll also make sure the cafe is decent not some council run rubbish like the Beatty Park cafe. Private management by someone who actually gives a toss about their cafe.

          ANd fix up that water feature in the north west corner… it has been turned off for well over a year and my kids love it.

          Maybe also a fixed little ice-cream stand opposite to the cafe.

          And of course row boats for hire on the lakes! Boathouse/cafe.

          But other than the lakes being pretty average at the moment I love Hyde Park pretty much as it is.

          Like

          • Matt b says:

            OK = UK

            Like

          • Matt b says:

            then the Leedy Masterplan needs a rocket up it. Get in some world class designers and let them rip.

            We are the only economy on the planet that is still booming, lets get some guru like Koolhas, Corner, or whoever to give us something decent, not sappy watercolour renders and generic block towers and “icon buildings” gag.

            Like

          • Richarbl says:

            Thank you for your reply Matt.

            Being mixed up with a major political party for fifteen years means that I am well used the meaningless garbage associated with the breed.

            Sorry to put you through all this crap but it doesn’t pay to bullshit the bullshitters and I have to say you dealt with it pretty well although calling TWOP a “crappy little website” should result in a shuffling of preferences.

            Hyde Park is indeed a little treasure with the lack of water being the only drawback.
            The problem is the area was originally a natural wetland and the water simply seeps back into the water table as quickly as it is pumped in.
            The only solution to this issue is to remove the black sludge that has built up over the years and then line the lake bed with clay which will act as a sealing agent to stop the water from draining away.
            Replace the organic sludge to maintain a healthy ecological balance and the lakes should remain full with minimal top ups to balance evaporation.

            Why should I tell you this, because I too love Hyde Park and I am happy to assist any one who wishes to preserve it.

            Like

            • Orbea says:

              …and the pond liner is in the masterplan, designed by Kathy Meney of Syrinx, who also designed the Point Fraser treatment wetlands near the Causeway.
              Masterplan released in December 2008

              there is another solution, allowing the superficial aquifer to recharge back to sustainable levels, but that is far too radical a prospect for people who demand european lakes in an Australian setting.

              Like

              • Matt b says:

                it was reported in the Voice yesterday that there were a few late changes so I really don’t know what was actually in the plan. When I saw Syrinx were doing the plan I actually thought – wow, they are actually using a decent consultant who know what they are doing!

                Like

          • That all sounds good. The boy loved the water feature, bring it back. He also loves the spining round thing in the playground, but is bemused by the caged disabled swing.

            Like

            • Matt b says:

              those spinning round things are all over the uk. They call them roundabouts. The Health and safety nazis don;t seem to have found that relic at Hyde park. although it is in sand, and in the uk they tend to be surrounded by gravel or bitumen so you really get worried.

              Like

              • shazza says:

                What about the hookers and junkies? Won’t someone think of the hookers and junkies?

                Like

              • skink says:

                apart from the fact that there are sometimes needles in the sand in Hyde Park, which I know from experience.

                we love the Park, but my choice would be to return the lakes to a natural marshland state. I like what they have done with Point Fraser

                Like

            • Richarbl says:

              By God you are a bitchy bastard TLA.

              Like

    • There WILL be Tim Winton action next week. Dugongs in Hyde Park Lakes? Wait, I’ve said too much…

      Like

  44. Will need another hundred or so coments to exceed B&S numbers of just over 600. I think it will actually make it! This is where the future of Perth action is. Here is the nexus between arseholes and smartarses. here is where the future of Perth will be debated and decided.

    Like

  45. Matt b says:

    the ALL plastics is because last election they made SUCH A FUSS about putting in recycling in yellow top bins as though they were saving the freaking planet, and then when they actually shock horror delivered it was still useless so you still have to remember numbers. those damn yellow top bins were such a shallow stab at “sustainability” and they got them over the line!!!

    Like

  46. Frank Calabrese says:

    Meanwhile you philistines missed 2 hours of wonderful video firsts courtesy of Channel 7, the First 50 years, which included the In Perth Tonight Segment discussed here.

    https://theworstofperth.com/2009/04/08/the-bank-that-lived-there/#comment-17553

    Like

  47. ConcernedVincentCitizen says:

    Wakey, wakey……its election day! I wonder if Matt’s out there kissing babies yet?

    Like

  48. B.T. says:

    This one is for the comment count.

    Where is Vincent anyway? Is it one of the Western Suburbs or is it one of those nasty places on the wrong side of the freeway?

    Like

  49. skink says:

    was my duel with Chong as relentlessly dull as richarbl’s spat with Matt?

    did I come across as a such a supercilious smug git?

    I feel like I am watching myself from the outside and it is deeply disturbing.

    perhaps this is an epiphany.

    I’m off to go and find some flowers, read some Daniel Goleman and attempt to connect with my inner puppy.

    Like

  50. Big Ramifications says:

    I will expose myself.

    Like

  51. Big Ramifications says:

    And on the subject of being funny: I invented this awesome joke a few moments ago regarding our subject.

    Q. How does he fasten his pants?
    A. Buckles them.

    SWISH!

    Like

  52. Matt b says:

    Here goes nothing… may the force be with me I guess.

    Like

  53. Pingback: Town of Vincent Votes « The Worst of Perth

  54. Matt b says:

    that’s Councillor Matt Buckels thank you very much.

    I don’t have the numbers, but I ran 2nd of 6 and picked up a 4-year sentence, with Dudley Maier 1st and Tarryn Harvey 3rd also getting on in the North Ward.

    South Ward both incumbents fell short with Warren McGrath and Josh Topelberg getting over the line fairly comfortably.

    Like

  55. BoredEskimo says:

    Congrats Matt B on all 1300 votes.

    Sincerely.

    Hope Vincent actually lasts till your term expires.

    Like

  56. Matt b says:

    By the way I have about 1000 of those flyers left over if anyone wants a signed copy? Maybe I’ll issue them like Channel 9 cricket memorabilia.

    Like

  57. Thirdswamp says:

    Have read this all and laughed myself silly, until I read that Matt is pro nuclear and cuts his own hair!
    I’ve just helped this guy get elected.
    BTW Duds gets his hair cut at the Mens Room on Bulwer St or by Michael at Headturners on Beaufort St.

    Like

  58. Whatabunchoflosers says:

    well he proved you all wrong didn’t he.

    Like

  59. shazza says:

    Not me WaBolosers, I said I would vote for him.

    Furthermore his election doesn’t alter the umbrage generated by his latte (flat white) sipping.

    Like

  60. Bento says:

    Fucking hell. I go offline for few days, and we get vibrancy up the yin yang! Excellent work Matt – my initial seething rage was no match for your RSVP counterpunch.

    I welcome our shaggy-haired overlords.

    Like

  61. Nice mention in Inside Cover today for this.

    Like

  62. Pingback: The Best of The Worst 2009 « The Worst of Perth

  63. shazza says:

    2nd best thread ever!!

    Like

  64. Pingback: Bar Nukem « The Worst of Perth

  65. Pingback: Vote 1 Emo Simpkins | The Worst of Perth

  66. CB One says:

    Nukem was on the front page of The Voice last week. Future Perthers AND his Masters in Urban Design both got a mention. Sweet work.

    I’d forgotten he was a FP founding member and thought he’d jumped ship. I’m not too sure if I’m more, or less, disappointed.

    Like

  67. The Legend 101 says:

    So this guys the Micheal Keenan of Town Of Vincent, Anyway Im sick of seeing Micheal Keenans creepy smiling face on every bustop in Dianella, Im going to make a complate soon about this fact!.

    Like

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