The Willagee Horror

“Cocos palms, grass, and underbrush were whipped into a fury; and the frightened crowd near the Dance Collective headquarters in Winnacott Street Willagee, weakened by the lethal foetor, “the carpenter” they called “Teh Carps” that seemed about to asphyxiate them, were almost hurled off their feet. Dogs howled from the distance, grasstrees and foliage wilted to a curious, sickly yellow-grey, and over field and forest were scattered the bodies of dead kookaburras.”
Well at least this answers the question of what Willagee’s Alan Carpenter has been doing since he cocked up the last election. What the hell is going on up there? Something like this? Or maybe this? The Willagee Horror was auteured by Natalia Fan#1. You may need to click to enlarge. Leach Highway Willagee.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in Uncategorisable Worsts and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

136 Responses to The Willagee Horror

  1. Shazzanator says:

    I find it hard to believe there were not more pics of this interesting abode. It also has an old, red. tardis style phone box in the front yard.

    Like

    • NF#1 says:

      There is this one Shazz, which does gives some sense of the “sickly yellow-grey” foliage mentioned by TLA. There were various constraints at the time; I admit to not doing the house and its grounds complete justice. But still, eh?

      Like

      • rottobloggo says:

        “various constraints”??

        Like

      • RubyRuby says:

        I want to know what image violates Photobucket’s terms of use when creepy Massage for Women posters and mis-spelled homophobic graffiti make the cut?

        Like

        • Snuff says:

          I don’t think you do, Rubee.

          Like

          • RubyRuby says:

            Wow.

            Confirms my suspicions – if Snuffmeister can’t find it on the interwebs, it doesn’t exist.

            Doesn’t mean that because you CAN find something that it SHOULD exist, but hey. It’s not a perfect world.

            Thank you, from me and all the little dogs…

            Like

        • NF#1 says:

          The deleted image was of various Bali bumper stickers. They are quite offensive, but no more so than any of the many Perth cars bearing them.

          Like

      • kezza says:

        hey NF#1, Who gives you the right to photo other peoples houses and complain about them? As Far as I know that house in willagee has a huge following and people actually look forward to driving past just to see what the manniquin is wearing… it is actually a brightspot to their otherwise boring drive to work……..If you looked around other houses there are ones far worse but have not caught your attention because they are not as interesting…….!!!!!!

        Like

    • Artheretic says:

      it is a ripper house on Leachanus Hwy. I met the lady who lived there and am convinced (despite protestations from both parties) that Tim Burns is her love-child… and it is only a lemon throw from the Birnie house

      Like

      • Pete says:

        Y’know At, my former neighbour (hello Bert) was dead cert that mum Birnie lived over the road from us for a long time. Not inclined to argue with a mad Scotsman over the details.

        Like

  2. Lucky Star says:

    Is that a toy rabbit and a blow up doll dressed as a bunny hanging from the ceiling in front of the window?

    Like

  3. Jolson42 says:

    She’s been up there for about 10 years as far as I can remember. Five or so years ago, Inside Cover had an interview with the guy who lives there. Apparently, the mannequin’s name is Elaine, after the woman on Seinfeld.

    Like

  4. orbea says:

    Peter Tinley – reconstruction of Uday Hussein’s bunker

    Like

  5. The Legend 101 says:

    Wheres Willagee, Looks like a bit wrecked but its still a good little house anyway whats with the streamers in the top window?

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  6. Pete says:

    Late to the party but NF#1, isn’t this somewhere near a hill surrounded by car yards? Is that Willagee? Gee, I thought Willagee was out the back of High Rd somewhere. Maps, useful apparently.

    Like

  7. Pete says:

    Ta Shazz, TIL.

    Like

  8. skink says:

    Speaking of Horror…

    Sniffer and Adele leading the TV news tonight with a story about ‘pillow talk’

    did they really have to conjure up that mental image, especially while I’m eating me dinner?

    Like

    • orbea says:

      she’s been in a good paddock, beamy boats roll well in a big swell

      Like

    • Hutch says:

      I used to know Well Busy’s brother-in-law and stayed at the (probably now former) mother-in-law’s B&B just outside Busselton – really decent family, so hopefully they’ve got some local sympathy for being involved with such a fat fucken idiot.

      Like

    • The Legend 101 says:

      who are you refering and who the hell is Adele and Sniffer.

      Like

  9. Anonymous says:

    I address my comment to the douche-bag also known as “the lazy aussie”,
    Quite obviously you do not know the owner of this house , nor the story that surrounds the “Leach Hwy. Mannequin”.
    The house was formerly owned by a local jeweller, whom not only lived there with his family, but also conducted his business from there. It now belongs to a different person, a good friend of mine and is architecturally one of the most interesting structures I have seen in my life, indicative of the early work of Frank Lloyd Wright. The owner is a collector of unique pieces that humdrum individuals, such as yourself, discard without knowining their true value. I could spend days rummaging through such items and see things from my childhood that I thought were lost forever.
    As for the mannequin. He has been placing her in the window of the top floor now for around 10 years, her name is Helene, not Elaine, the source of her name I am not sure. He dresses her in various outfits depending on season, sporting event, social event or whatever might take his fancy at the time. She is displayed for the sole reason of making people smile, much unlike your remedial blog, and has an enourmous cultural following, again, much unlike your blog.
    What gives you the right to post photos of his house on thie web? The property owner is unimpressed to say the least and it has caused much embarrassment for his young sons. Keep your juvenile blog but remove the photos, it is not your property to expose.
    Just for a laugh, why not post some photos of your home and let’s let the faceless masses pick the shit out of it.
    Peace out!

    Like

    • What the fuck are you talking about? You claim the mannequin is for people to appreciate but get all crackpotty when people appreciate it. Just shut up rainmaker.
      “Quite obviously you do not know the owner of this house , nor the story that surrounds the “Leach Hwy. Mannequin”. – You don’t seem to have much of a grasp of the story either. The real story of the mannequin is that it is designed to make you look like a dickhead.

      Like

    • WAtching says:

      FLW just died again.

      Like

    • keatster says:

      anonymous, it is not illegal to take photos of houses or other things that are normally in the public domain and publish them.

      Like

    • keatster says:

      there is no law preventing someone from photographing something that can be seen in the public domain and publishing it. there is no right to privacy for your house, your car, your mannequin if they can be seen from the street.

      Like

    • rottobloggo says:

      I lost a denim jacket at the 1980 Royal Show.

      Like

    • mrsstone says:

      I’m digging the house. Always have. I also made the apparently false assumption that the people who lived there had a sense of humour. Talk about comic sans.

      Like

    • Say something nice for a change... says:

      Well “The Lazy Aussie” do you really have any idea what you are talking about? You promote yourself as a comedian, photographer and writer? Are you for real! You only produce derogatory remarks about others and I question if you actually research what you write.

      “Anonymous April 4” you most definitely do know the owner of this most interesting home, the fascinating contents inside and the story behind it.

      The phone box that sits out the front was actually imported from England and is a reflection of the eccentricity of its owner. Eccentricity is often associated with genius, intellectual giftedness and creativity and is the outward expression of ones unique intelligence or creative impulse. Is it incomprehensible to you “The Lazy Aussie” that this house stems from a mind so original that it cannot be conformed to societal norms?

      So to add to the already correct mannequin story, “Helene” (named after the owner watched a particular episode of Seinfeld) was purchased from down south and she came in a box full of other unique, collectable items that the owner purchased. She sat on the front seat of the car from Margaret River to Perth and the owner had so many comments they thought it would be fun to show her off in the second floor window. “Helene” has many followers, she receives letters and Xmas cards, has done promotions to raise money for charity and has had a song recorded about her. In my opinion, maybe the owner of this page would possibly change their narrow minded one if they actually took the blinkers off and put some research into what they write before shooting their mouth off.

      The owner most definitely does not approve of the house being promoted in this way and whilst it’s not illegal to post a photo, I assume that you have researched the legal implications of the defammatory comments you have made. For those that need some explanation, the following extract is from the “Australian Defamation Laws and the Internet” website:

      “Defamation is the publication of words or images to a person that damages the reputation of another [‘slander’ if spoken words, ‘libel’ if written words or images]. A defamatory statement is one that is likely to cause ordinary, reasonable people to think less of the person about whom the words or images are published. An inference that casts a defamatory imputation is enough to bring an action.”

      Didn’t your mother ever teach you that if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all?

      I agree, you should put a photo up of your home with a title to match, let the flock of seagulls attack it and let’s see how your children feel.

      Like

  10. Say something nice for a change... says:

    And just to add, the owners do have a fantastic sense of humour but like all good, decent parents, when it affects their children they will fight to protect…

    Like

  11. Say something nice for a change... says:

    My objection is that whilst adults have the coping skills to handle whatever is thrown at them, children of the age that it is affecting do not. Simply removing the word “horror” from the title would be a start, can you even imagine what those children go through because of this page? Life is hard enough to deal with, how about making it just a little easier for them…

    Like

    • People love what they are doing. Surely even “the little children” can see that the title is humorous and that they acheived what they wanted ie bringing a little amusement to people’s lives. Plus, you keep bringing the whole thing back to everyone’s attention by making these ridiculous comments.

      Like

    • rottobloggo says:

      Exactly. “Who will think of the children?” The great Clive James makes this very salient point. He can take the jealous muck-raking and sniping in his stride – but do the critics think of his children being cruelly teased in the playground, or on the bus on the way home?

      Like

    • orbea says:

      ZOMG nasty photons on the Interwebz, and fonts, and words….
      run for your lives
      “posts may contain adult concepts” such as homeowner in Willagee is a fuckwit

      Like

  12. Say something nice for a change... says:

    No actually the children don’t see the humerous side, what they feel is ridicule from other children which is a result of the word “horror” used in the title. My comments are not ridiculous, they come from someone who cares about 2 kids, what they feel and how this affects them. I don’t think you would feel your comments were ridiculous if your children were being hurt by comments made by another adult. You may not think that making that small change for them will make any difference but I know they would be extremely grateful if you could.

    Like

    • Everyone here likes their work. Those kids aren’t real friends. Yes your comments are ridiculous. They are more likey to get hassled by kids pointing out that some tool is making a dickhead of themselves on their behalf and bringing up an ancient post that nobody was viewing.

      Like

  13. Say something nice for a change... says:

    A post that does not affect you but harms others…

    Like

  14. keisha says:

    I can’t believe i am reading this crap!!! who ever is writing this article and has taken these photograph you really need to get yourself a life! I personally know the owners of this house and all the occupiers there, and they are my friends and the loveliest people that i have ever met in my entire life, and like me and my partner they are parents also. Anyway to cut it short and sweet you really need to just leave them alone, how would you like it if we did this to you?, have some balls and give us your address so we can all put YOU under the microscope, take photographs of your house and put it over the internet for all the world to see and to openly discuss discuss shit that don’t mean shit without even thinking about how they would are REALLY feeling -they are not objects they are good poeople…so go on i dare you, post up your address and lets see how you like it!

    Like

    • Everyone here loves the place. What are you talking about?

      Like

    • What do you mean leave them alone? Haven’t done anything to them. Everyone here loves the house and the mannequin and everything. Nobody was even looking at the post until you and that other idiot started commenting about it. You are the ones that are bringing it up all the time. If you don’t like it, just stop commenting. My god, I thought Maylands people were without humour. They have nothing on Willagee. You have personally revived the post again. Well done.

      Like

      • Wait, this is a pisstake right? I’ve been pranked?

        Like

        • NF#1 says:

          You’d like to think so TLA, but idiocy of this kind is actually hard to fake.

          For Keisha.

          Not content to live my life
          Obscured by dying trees
          Dying for a way to dress my
          Anonymity
          I bought a doll and dressed it in
          Coquettish finery
          Hung it in the upstairs room
          For anyone to see
          Then I had my little laugh
          Below the balcony
          xxxxxxxxxx xxx xxxxxxx
          While shouting “look at me!”
          The moment someone did just that
          I rued my infamy

          Like

          • Oh Willagee , where commies go to retire,
            amongst the lumpen proletariat
            there’s Vic from Garling street,
            the bloke from the lumper’s union,
            the escapee to the Soviet Union,
            nestled in Willagee’s suckling breast.
            all seeking information in a
            library provided by the U.N.
            For the revolutions yet to come.
            when we other throw the true horror , Ginny Rhindheart.

            ,

            Like

  15. skink says:

    I like how Keisha says ‘anyway, to cut it short…’ and then pushes out a sentence that is over one hundred words long.

    genius.

    Like

  16. PeteF says:

    I like the added gravitas – I am a parent so I know things, because of reasons.

    Like

    • How many people viewed this post in the days before these plonkers started raving? Zero. In the last 2 days? About 150.

      Like

      • Snuff says:

        I must admit I’d forgotten all about this place. Thanks very much to those who’ve brought it to my attention again. I still find the architecture interesting, and the mannequin still makes me smile. Please post more photos of it.

        Like

  17. Variety is the spice of Life says:

    Make up your mind TLA! Do you “love it” and find it “interesting”, or “A showcase of the worst examples of architecture, design, culture and humanity in Perth Western Australia.” ??? When I like something, I don’t usually describe it as “horrific”. I personally love the house! My son and I often try and guess what Helene will be wearing next and can’t help but be disappointed when the blinds are closed, or she’s missing from the window. P.S. Sorry my comment isn’t in rhyming verse. I left my pretentious twat costume at home today.

    Like

    • Well those ae not mutually exclusive are they? Quite the opposite. In the 2000 plus posts are many, many things that people love.That’s one of the main reasons it’s being going for so long. Most posts don’t attract the same qotient of knobheads as this one has done though for unknown reasons. BTW, I think you’re allowed to look at her but not talk about it.

      Like

    • rottobloggo says:

      I personally never take my pretentious twat costume off, so I can’t help but be satisfied. P.S. NOT YOU GREG, CHEERS,

      Like

    • Bento says:

      Surely your disappointment at the occasionally closed blinds is a heartless criticism of the owners? Make your mind up Variety! Do you “personally love the house”, or are you “disappointed”? How do you think their children feel, knowing that people out there are “disappointed” because their dad closed the blinds?

      I’m a parent (of 2!), so I understand better than anyone else (except maybe people with 3 kids?) the hurt that is caused by the unthinking blind-closing of others, but I think you need to stop being “disappointed” with these people (especially in front of your own children). You’re allowed to look at any house you want, obviously, but you should only mention those things you’ve seen if you have a full knowledge of the ancestral history of the current and former residents, and the express written permission of the owner. Clearly.

      Like

    • NF#1 says:

      Maybe a less pretentious Today Tonight puff piece on the Horror’s alleged “genius” would suit your insipid sensibilities a little more?

      Like

  18. Bento says:

    Are Willageenies dumber than Inseminators? Discuss.

    Like

    • orbea says:

      Willa geenies, dumb as a rock
      Willa geenies, a doll in a frock
      Its outrageous, the kids they say ‘NO’
      Willa geenies, let yourself go…

      Like

  19. B.T. says:

    You know what’s worst… some one thinks a phone box “all the way from England” is a special thing.

    Like

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  22. Lass says:

    “Leave Brittany Alooooonnnnnnnnnneeeeeee” oops I mean “Helene” Snot Mascara Tears etc…

    Like

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