Look Ever Forward

Posted on March 12, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Three Curtin University shots, One from me, and two from Outrage Cohen. First, here is setting up for the Beach party at the tavern. I’m not sure there’s enough chlorine in the world to get me into one of these with students with bladders distended from pints of White Stag. Even though the toilets are right there, is there any chance of them being used? And yes it does seem to say Pa Mart.

spa2

Outrage Cohen snapped this bafflingly bad car paint job at the uni. Would someone really pay for this? Even for free you’d feel ripped off.

curtincar

Outrage also found this poignantly abandoned cap. This seems a little beyond outre for a student, but hey, I’ve seen blue eyeshadow.

junglefriends

Posted in worst advertising, worst car, worst fashion | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Masters of Surfie-ism

Posted on March 11, 2009 by AHC McDonald

A friend once told me she had become totally absorbed in Surfie poetry. I was really impressed until I found that she had said “Sufi Poetry“, which tends towards the sappy.

If you desire the wave, and chicks,
Do not cease to pour out lamentation,
For a perfect storm comes,
hot from the furnace of your shorts,
Cool from the esky of your soul. The Lazy Aussie, Mystics of Surfie

Which brings us to this item, which was bought from that hotbed of Sufiism, Floreat Forum. I came for the spelling, but stayed for the apostrophe.

sufers

Posted in worst objects, worst spelling | Tagged , , | 19 Comments

Letterbox Drop

Posted on March 10, 2009 by AHC McDonald

CLIVE: ….. and I wrote a letter to them, I said, “Dear-,” I wrote to whatever the fucking name is, the head of the fucking BBC, who’s their …..
DEREK: “Dear Cunt”.
CLIVE: Yeah, that’s right, I said, …..
DEREK: That’s it, yeah, “Dear Cunt”.
CLIVE: I put ‘Cunt, London’ on the envelope. I knew that would find him.
DEREK: Yeah, ‘Cunt, London’ …..
CLIVE: ‘Cunt, London’ ….. Peter Cook & Dudley Moore, Derek & Clive Ad Nauseum

Vic “Main Street” Demised sent in a pic of a brick letterbox demolished by worst driving, a Weekend Worstoff or two ago. Fortunately for the residents the situation has been expertly remedied by a master craftsman. They’re still putting mail in the bottom one I see.

letterboxfixed

Posted in worst letterbox | 14 Comments

Tagged by The Devil

Posted on March 9, 2009 by AHC McDonald

“So grotesque and preposterous are the principle characters in this galaxy of clowns and crooks that none but a thrice double ass could have taken them for rulers.” Officer in the Allied Control Commission, Nuremberg trials.

I’m not sure why I used that quote. Three double asses? In any case, this is the kind of worst I love. The astounding coupled with the banal. Idiotic merged with stupid. (Not to mention Cocos rampant). I find it wonderfully Perth that someone would graffiti a fallen Cocos palm frond. Have we reached terminal ennui? Maybe people willl be tagging dog turds next. Behold Perth. Graffiti on a fallen frond. My God! What have we become? Can the rapture be far away?

cocosgrafcocosgrafcu

Posted in worst garden, worst graffiti, worst tree | Tagged , , | 36 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 46

Posted on March 7, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Another Weekend of worst comes. I can’t think why I didn’t post this from Jason before. Just too many good pictures coming in. Must go back through hundreds of pages of emails. I must have missed some gold.

week46mitsubishi

Haven’t had enough worsts from out Joondie way. Here’s one from Alright Jack. He Kon Yu good.

week46konyu

Drinks and hookah cabinet restaurant in Karawara.

week46hookas

And there was some talk about the vanishing of the flaming wardrobe that has been on display in Beaufort Street for some years.Reader Jesse  told me it hadn’t gone far, just bashed to pieces on the vacant block next door. Here it is.

week46flamesWorst well.

Posted in weekend worstoff, worst advertising, worst car | Tagged | 12 Comments

An Orgy of Vanished Worsts

Posted on March 6, 2009 by AHC McDonald

I hope the state library is archiving up a storm today, because there’s an orgy of vanished worst this week. Things, sometimes trivial, sometimes major have or are about to disappear from the city.  Click on the smaller pictures to go to original posts.

Firstly, Fairlanes is gone, which wasn’t so much of a worst apart from it being owned by the Bond family I believe. Bye bye Fairlanes.

Faith no Bondy

Faith no Bondy

On the good side, apparently the Langtrees artwork was removed immediately after its appearance on this site. Bye bye Ms K.

langtreesThe mystery flaming Wardrobe on Beaufort Street is gone. Bye bye flaming closet. Missing you already. Why didn’t I open it when I had the chance?

There may be a flaming homosexual inside.

There may be a flaming homosexual inside.

no flamin

no flamin

And horor of horrors, apparently the destruction of The Red Castle Motel, an icon of happy nostalgia and bad taste is to be announced in the West today. What a tragedy. What the hell is the Heritage Council up to? Might as well be the fucking Style Council.

say it aint so red castle

say it aint so red castle

The Hans Merks palace of teh auto on Beaufort Street was finally demolished this week. Bye Bye and thank You Hans Merks.

Thank YOU Hans Merks

Thank YOU Hans Merks

merks nowWhat a week. What a week of horror. Apart from the painting going of course. I need a brace of Howling Wolves. Phew!

Posted in vanished worst | Tagged , , , , , , , | 50 Comments

Hoist the black flag

Posted on March 5, 2009 by AHC McDonald

“Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats” Henry Louis Mencken

I had two recent flag outrages sent in, one from Stephanie showing  a hills version,  and one from Matt with a city slicker abomination. That’s Perth isn’t it? The city where there’s not much difference between Hillbilly and Super Nerd.  The Super (superrrrr?) vehicle does perhaps have the worst advantage in that the company also has a ridiculous name, but hand out a banjo, marry your cousin, or replace your motherboard,  Perth is the place to be. These are both horrible.

flagsnerd

flagshills1

Posted in worst of perth | Tagged | 33 Comments

This sick city…

Posted on March 4, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Some people have said they like these territory markers for The City of South Perth. I call worst, although it was a brave attempt at dolphins, the graphic motif that’s almost impossible to do well. I would have preferred something that said “City of Canning, get stuffed.”

citycitycitysouth1cityperth

Posted in worst art, worst public art, worst sculpture | Tagged , , | 35 Comments

Worst Media Connections

Posted on March 3, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Lots of worst relevant media this weekend, despite the new editor of The west not being announced. I think they want to make sure that staff morale has really hit rock bottom first.

The Inglewood internet cafe with the crazy Jesus motif was featured heavily in The West Saturday when the proprietor (Henk) found copious Firepower records in a second hand computer. Supposed editor material Gary Asshead was hitting it hard.

In the Sunday Times (I saw a free copy), The Don’t arf Penn, one of TWOP’s first ever posts was featured. The hideous Penninsular Tavern is going to be redeveloped into a glitzy (ie hideous) glass pub and shops complex. The Times is claiming that Maylands will become the new Subiaco. Really. After what they did to Subiaco, do we really want that?

Now I know no-one reads the West’s letters page these days. Why would you when you can get a superior brand of crackpot here at TWOP? But last week Teh ‘Rage Cohen had a letter in saying that Gerard Henderson had got it wrong, and journos weren’t communists. He got a reply exposing him and his cadres on Saturday. Why does The West continue to buy in trash from total knob-heads like Gerard Henderson? At least paul Murray is home grown garbage.

There was some Murray news on the weekend when restaurant reviewer Broadfield encountered Teh Paul at a Japanese restaurant. Apparently Murray was also there in the role of food critic for some gourmet rag. Having read Murray, I have always got the impression that his taste buds would be in his arse if anywhere. In true paul Murray tradition, can we expect some extensive cutting and pasting from Broadfield’s piece? I also found it highly amusing that Murray couldn’t type the word “piss” last week, while Alston had no trouble penning “fart”. P-ss weak Paul.

Also, The Worst of Perth brother can just be seen in the ad for Shane Warne in West mag, despite being darkened in photoshop.

cohenletter

Posted in worst architecture, worst journalist, worst newspaper | Tagged , | 52 Comments

And Chong On

Posted on March 3, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Well I’m upper upper class high society
God’s gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I’ve got
The biggest balls of all… AC/DC Big Balls

With the original Patti Chong post within a few hundred views of being the most popular ever, (just behind the Worst of the West Australian) with nearly 4000 views and about 400 comments, I thought you’d like this. There is also a TV ad to match. Merrys has featured on TWOP before, you may remember. I don’t quite see the interest in La Chong myself, but let the stats roll on as Chong fans pile on.

chong

Posted in worst of perth | Tagged , | 171 Comments