Where I bought my arse

Back door sale. Inglewood. 

 

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts | Tagged , | 8 Comments

Confederacy

Reign of Error sees The Australian flag, the unofficial confederate Beam flag – (Our own official racist confederate flag is of course the Eureka flag) flanked by Cocii rampant! With bonus hubcaps! Magnificent! Dwellingup.flags

Posted in worst flag, worst tree | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

Garlic Munchers

Is that racist? And what with garlic prices the way they are, surely it would only be Claremont Tiger fans who could afford to munch it these days. Bassendean.munchers

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Outrage Sunday 206 Miller time!

It’s Penny Miller catalogue time again! Once again I have selflessly thought of what will make my Worsting comrades happy! I know Bento will love these dolphin stickers for his executive bathroom at his work! He will be one of the Illuminati!  

 

I know TLA adore this for his dunny! He can gaze at the skittish creatures as he strains at his Wintoning! I see a rare white Denmark dugong in there! Splashdown!  

 

Speaking of splashdowns, I know Reign of Error will feel like an aquatic prince once one of these is in the ute! Easy to install!  

 

And Juan Trak will be right on time after this goes in the pool room! PM has customised it for our great state! 2pm is Brian Burke scolding Norm Marlborough! 11pm is “Watcha lookin at cunt?”! 3am is the sound of a Holden going into a Darch home! Your wellcome!  

 

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts, worst objects | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

No stuck-up dumb bitches!

Further to news that another of Tim’s aquatic cliches is to be filmed in Dennmark, (the place of soap makers but not soap users), here via Skink is your chance to be involved. I assume that director Simon Baker has had issues with dumbarse stuck up bitches before, so it seems reasonable that females will need to be smart and “down to earth” whatever the hell that means. If you’re a bloke though, you won’t need to whip out your Mensa membership. You can be not down to earth, and dumb as a post. Dumb as Davo’s skittish old kelpie, angry at being woken up by his own farts in that ragged shack in the grove of Tingle trees. You can also be stuck up as nan’s old leach drain when the redgum roots got into it. But, if you want to “give acting a go“, just remember, “Stuck up dumb bitches NEED NOT APPLY.” I SAID GOOD DAY!breath

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moon story shot

Thirty-one years ago on Monday, we landed on the moon…NOT! I won’t be able to prepare Outrage Sunday tomorrow, as I’ll be at a Backyard Cinema event in Kewdale, via Perth Truth Seekers.
“Backyard Cinema returns with an alternative look at mankinds greatest ever achievement … the (alleged) Apollo moon landings.
“With the 45th anniversary of the Apollo missions closing in, we’re soon to be deluged with mainstream stories about this (supposed) remarkable accomplishment.
“But, as most truth seekers will know, much of what we’ve been fed by the Empire and its controlled media over the past 200 years has revealed itself to be blatantly false propaganda when put under scrutiny.”
Two fillums will be screened: Bart Sibrel’s A funny thing happened on the way to the moon, and Kubrick’s Odyssey: Secrets Hidden in the Films of Stanley Kubrick; Part One: Kubrick and Apollo, by Jay Weidner.
“For those who’ve never dared question the Apollo moon landings or fearful of cognitive dissonance taking hold, perhaps watch Apollo Zero for a taste of what’s in store.”
I’ll also throw these queries into the ring for you patsies: WHY did ‘Buzz’ Aldrin have an Actors’ Equity card? WHY did Neil Armstrong change his call sign after the ‘landing’ from “Eagle” to “Tranquility Base”? Why did NASA deny nanothermites were in the rocks supposedly brought back from the moon?
You know, I always knew Robert Caulfield was too good to be true. When the monkey faeces hits the low-grav toilet, the authorities can say, “See? We told you it was a fake, but you took it as entertainment!” capricornone

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Big Block

Lovely Anzac Day Albany tableau. What would the diggers want on their way to loot Cairo brothels and be killed by Turks? A block of shitty beer and a broken barbie. Kaching. By R R.

 

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Two little ducks

As TLA said in another place, after I posted an abandoned wine bottle outrage, usually you would also see abandoned undies, or a musical instrument. Something! But here in Shenton Park this morning: nothing.  

   

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts, worst drink | 8 Comments

7th Avenue Redemption

I crossed the new Maylands Seventh Avenue bridge on youse pigs behalf today. It’s fine. I guess. The underneath reminds me of the narrows bridge which I do like. But it’s not the same as the old one, where hot asphalt and cold concrete were poured directly onto rotting wood.  – Where the load limits were hopeful prayers rather than structural measurements. 

The public art was predictably bland. The inset photos were a mistake. Also possibly sun damaged already. But not terrible. Which is worse than terrible. I think we should pay artists NOT to apply for council art pieces. Boring. Nothing. But the biggest fucking outrage was that the new bins won’t take a flagon!!?? What universe are these bin designer wankers from? 

    
   

Posted in worst architecture | Tagged , , , , | 30 Comments

Work ethic

Sheesh. It seems like only yesterday I was fridge FAGged. Now my work ethic is being publicly questioned. I must try harder. But as Yoda says: “There is no try, there is only do.”  

 

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts, worst journalist, worst of perth | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments