No stuck-up dumb bitches!

Further to news that another of Tim’s aquatic cliches is to be filmed in Dennmark, (the place of soap makers but not soap users), here via Skink is your chance to be involved. I assume that director Simon Baker has had issues with dumbarse stuck up bitches before, so it seems reasonable that females will need to be smart and “down to earth” whatever the hell that means. If you’re a bloke though, you won’t need to whip out your Mensa membership. You can be not down to earth, and dumb as a post. Dumb as Davo’s skittish old kelpie, angry at being woken up by his own farts in that ragged shack in the grove of Tingle trees. You can also be stuck up as nan’s old leach drain when the redgum roots got into it. But, if you want to “give acting a go“, just remember, “Stuck up dumb bitches NEED NOT APPLY.” I SAID GOOD DAY!breath

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst book and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to No stuck-up dumb bitches!

  1. Or do they mean “smart casual”?

    Like

  2. juantrak says:

    “Can come from anywhere in Australia? Get real. I’ll wager if a wog from North Melbourne or a lebbo from SW Sydney turned up for casting auditions, they’d be told, “NEXT!!” before they could get two words out! There’s no wogs or lebbos in Winton novels, is there?. Grommets aren’t wogs or lebbo’s, the wogs and lebbos are scared of breaking waves.
    Of course, they could need a mongrel bloke for the background as a void-filler (see – “Lockie Leonard: Scumbuster 44”). Then again, I guess they might need someone to play the part of a Lebbo abusing grommets and surfer babes lying near-naked on the beach.
    Bit of a shame they’ve got those tight age bracket restrictions – I reckon I could’ve handled being in an Aussie surfer movie, indulging in some frottage with near-naked surfer babes regularly. And there’s no wog or lebbo ancestry in our family, no sirree!

    Like

    • Well with Tim it’s more about the variety of the fish, not the people. His works are so whitebread he could work for Tip-Top. (With the exception of a ghost aborigine or 2). But I’m sure there would be no problem casting any background actors. As long as they are not haughty dimwits if female. BUT there would be a problem if any Pacific species of fish were seen.

      Like

      • you'll get wet says:

        Or a tropical species extending it’s habitat south, indicating global warming and impending doom eg the Mahdi Wrasse once found only on Rowley shoals but now suddenly appearing in Denmark, what could it portend? I know, let’s ask a surfie

        Like

  3. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    I wonder if Tim will pull an Alfred Hitchcock and do a surf cameo? Having been dropped in on by the fat cunt at Cable Station at Cott some years ago I suggest keeping an eye out for a blubbery looking blob in the background.

    Like

  4. don says:

    “Down to earth”? Maybe they want dwarves. Smart ones.

    Like

  5. ewfire11 says:

    Hey, Settle, settle. No matter how many times I read it, all it said was ‘smart and down to earth’. Placing your very own interpretation on those words is pretty damned unsophisticated and totally without class. And when your interpretation becomes ‘Stuck up dumb bitches’, then guess what? You are now a candidate to be pointed out to all in ‘Worst of Perth’ as a prize ‘Dipstick of Perth’ who just does not know any better when it comes to talking about women. Here endeth the lesson.

    Like

  6. Anonymous says:

    Simon Baker doesn’t want any females prettier than him. Such a fucking TWAT!

    Like

We can handle the worst

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s