Bad Gin

Since it’s still Troy Buswell week, I was very pleased that Rich sent in this excellent snippet from Hansard featuring Troy and the rather odd Grant Woodhams.

“LEGISLATIVE ASSEMBLY – Wednesday 10 May 2006:
Mr G.A. WOODHAMS: …Water is bottled in this state. There are two places in my electorate in which water is bottled, and the consumption of that water is very popular in offices and towns –
Mr T.R. Buswell: That is because it is half full of gin!
Mr G.A. WOODHAMS: That is an excellent suggestion, member for Vasse! I will be putting to the manufacturers of the bottles that perhaps they be gin-lined so that the consumption of that water may be speeded up!

Now some may remember Grant Woodhams as an ABC weather reporter in the 1980’s. I also worked with him a couple of times as a video presenter. I also seem to remember a picture of him jogging wearing a tshirt with a picture of a Bundy bottle fashioned into a bong, on the front page of the west in the mid 1980’s. I don’t think even Frank could track down that one. So it was quite strange that he ended up being elected as a sort of wild-eyed National Party member for Greenough, looking like he might have a rack of Safari Suits in the wardrobe. And why is Troy heckling him. Aren’t they sort of the same side. Sort of?

Posted in worst politician | Tagged , , | 32 Comments

8 Arses of WA Sculpture

Four sculptural back doors you already know, and four new ones. I doubt anyone can identify the location of them all. Would take a real crack addict. All arse photos by The Lazy Aussie except for Skink’s “front bottom”.

1..? 2..?

3..? 4 – Maylands Arse scratcher

5 – Front Bottom 6 – Arse and boozie, Gomboc via Perth Station

7..? 8 – Wanneroo roundabout

Answers. 1 is as correctly identified as The DNA MAn at Curtin Uni. 2 is in Sienna’s Restaurant in Leederville. 3 is at Gomboc Gallery, and 7 is in Bunbury.

Posted in worst sculpture | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

My Eyes are Up Here

A combination of Midland and public art. That’s got to be worth a look. Unfortunately, he’s not really checking out her uh tank, which would have made it more interesting. He’s doing his shoelaces up. And maybe that’s a gut, and not a rack.

Posted in worst public art, worst sculpture | Tagged , , | 39 Comments

Team America

A couple of different approaches to dealing with old vans. Which do you prefer? Fitting a weapons system, or letting them return to the soil naturally? Yes those are rocket launchers – and machine guns. The only extra it doesn’t seem to have is a yellow sticker.

Posted in worst car | Tagged , , | 21 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 4

Welcome to Weekend Worstoff 4. Was a great worst week. David Cohen dominating the airwaves, Troy sniffin, The West’s “Found” story refound, and Sunday Times journos under the gun.

Meanwhile, Lisa “She-Ra” Scaffidi and Allannah “Tsarina” McTiernan debate the Government  plans for the foreshore.

Dan exposes the use of cross dressing to lure students to study finance at UWA. Jeez, isn’t that Tod Johnson in a wig? Well spotted Dan.

And skink gives you an idea of the actual size of my Geoff Gallop sculpture.

And now I know this isn’t Perth, but I thought I’d show my latest tshirt design.

Have a good weekend.

Posted in worst of perth | Tagged , , , , , | 11 Comments

Police Overkill has Silver Lining

I was going to put this about the police raid on The Sunday Times in with the weekend stuff, but it was too good.

In the media yesterday, Media and Arts Alliance WA branch secretary (and The Worst of Perth stalwart) David Cohen called the raid a “fucking outrage!” but eagle eyed (and ALSO The Worst of Perth stalwart), Frank “Blessed Virgin” Calabrese, spotted a fantastic upside to the ridiculous raid by armed police on the Sunday Times in news.com.au pics. Pinned on the Times’ noticeboard is the famous front page “FOUND!” from bitter rivals The West Australian, from the day the paper embarrassingly claimed that the wreck of a small fishing boat was The Sydney last year. Amusingly Times journos have stuck a post-it to the page saying “LOST”. Nice to see the Times’ journos still have time to take the piss out of The West.

Leading the West’s breathless “Sydney” discovery team last year was favourite TWOP target ex editor Paul Murray, (Latin name knowallus blowhardus), and this blog made numerous efforts to find a copy of the story on and offline, but strangely it had disappeared.

So thanks to Frank, The Sunday Times, The Premier and The WA Police Fraud Squad for finally tracking down this exceptionally elusive item. Also, is that an empty wine bottle next to one of the desks? Now THAT’s old fashioned journalism.

Picture from News.com.au

Posted in worst newspaper | Tagged , , , , , , , | 34 Comments

Old Wife

What is worse, the name of this fish, or that the coastline seems to be brought to you by Teh Mormon? They can have more than one old wife right?

Posted in worst name, worst sign | Tagged , , | 23 Comments

Deff Geoff

Some time ago I made this bust of former Premier “Deff” Geoff Gallop out of masking tape, paint and a lunch box. (So there’s some art of mine you can criticise.) It seemed like a much simpler and more innocent time then didn’t it?. The Premier seemed honest and genuine. Brian Burke was banned. Cabinet members weren’t constantly being given the boot or facing enquiries. Even the opposition seemed to know how to behave themselves sometimes. You can’t imagine Colin Barnett chair sniffing can you? Richard Court before him was so straight it is unlikely he undressed to take a shower. Now we seem to have shonks on one side and chair sniffers on the other. Carps seems more desperate and clownish every day. The opposition incompetent and clownish. Deff Geoff, come back. For God’s sake come back!

Posted in worst of perth | Tagged , , , | 24 Comments

Smell of Female

Special Troy “Smell of Female” Buswell bulletin. For interstate and international readers, The Leader of the Opposition Troy Buswell has just admitted sniffing the seat that a female colleague had just vacated.

PEOPLE, I WANT THAT SEAT. Does no-one have a picture of Troy’s Office that shows any of the furniture? I’ve Googled, I’ve Yahoo’d, (jeez, I’ve even Lycos’d) I’ve tried several journos, but no-one can find a picture. I’ve even emailed Alannah McTiernan to see if she can get me a shot of Troy’s Office. No answer so far. perhaps I should try someone in the Liberal Party. Why they are undermining Troy when they have no alternative is beyond me.

However The Deputy Leader of the Liberal Party, Kim Hames, has voiced his support for Mr Buswell.

“To me Troy’s a rough diamond and you don’t fix a rough diamond by smashing it to pieces,” he said. “You take those rough edges off and you’ve got something that is of quality, …”

Kim, to me it sounds like you’ve got diamond polishing and turd polishing mixed up, but I hope you’re right.

Parliament House staff have recommended that members riding bikes to parliament (ie Greens) should cover their seats with an approved cover as shown below. A spokesman said, “while we acknowledge that Mr Buswell has changed his behaviour, perhaps it is wise not to put temptation in his way with uncovered bicycle seats on view.”

Mr. Buswell is expected to follow Geoff Gallop and take up a university chair after leaving politics.

Posted in vanished worst, worst politician | Tagged , | 142 Comments

The left wing of the day of judgement

“There she blows! – there she blows! A hump like a snow-hill! It is Moby Dick!”

That was the first quote I thought of from Melville’s Moby Dick to illustrate the toilet of The Cheynes IV whaling ship on display at Whale World Albany, but I came upon a better, though less well known one.

“It smells like the left wing of the day of judgment!”
(Herman Melville, Moby Dick)

Quite surprising to see the toilet (or head) on display. I assumed it would not be in use, but why then the rubbish bin in the corner? I have been looking for another in this category. The toilet at the Swan Inn and the cactus planter were looking a little lonely.

Posted in worst of perth, worst toilet | Tagged | 8 Comments