When it All Goes Pear Shaped

Worst Sculpture/Public Art

Interesting to wonder how public art gets commissioned in Perth. From the popular press it would seem that the public doesn’t want anything at all. The most non-confronting of proposals is routinely howled down. Yet at the same time much is made of the city’s dullness. How does this effect what ultimately does get made? Take this piece for example, hidden away, in the little visited (by me at least) river area of Maylands. Has meddling by the council or public resulted in such a disaster, or is it an inappropriate issuing of an artistic licence that is to blame? Surely the council or city patrons didn’t ask for an indigenous theme with the caveat that the sculpture must give the impression of scratching its arse? I couldn’t find the plaque for this, so a Maylandian may be able to help me. It does look suspiciously like the work of Vic Markovic, who we have seen in Cimbali’s submitted public art walking tour of Kalamunda, parts 1, & 3, but who knows. How did we get to this, and how does an artist who would make this, get to do it to us again?


Oh, and artist, please make sure that the arse is massive too. To find this piece, look up Maylands Tennis Club. You will see it on the left as you approach. By the way, that is a kangaroo ahead. I couldn’t bear to see if it was fiddling with its pouch. This viewis from the road side. Looks less embarrassing from other angles, but really, it should never have this angle at all.


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About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
This entry was posted in worst of the worst, worst public art, worst sculpture and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to When it All Goes Pear Shaped

  1. meccano101 says:

    Lazyaussie, I don’t remember laughing so much about something that is so truly appalling. You are right, its not just that it’s bad, it’s that it has obviously undergone a fairly involved public process to even be made. It would be worth contacting the council to find out exactly what the brief was.


  2. lazyaussie says:

    I tried contacting belmont council over The Art of The Poleable a previous post in worst public art, but strangely, no response.


  3. Golden1 says:

    Scratch his arse – then do some pole dancing.


  4. Cimbali says:

    My God, I cannot believe this is real! No wonder small children were shrieking to be taken home while you were taking the shot Lazza! it is extraordinary in it’s lack of skill, taste, propriety and execution. Far be it from me to be defending Markovic but I don’t believe him to be a buttock man. Most of his pieces gloss over that unfortunate part of the anatomy in embarrassment rather than glorying in them as this piece does. This deserves pride of place in the worst of the worst.


  5. meccano101 says:

    The abc sunday arts program have section that invites pictures of public art. Maybe this is a candidate.


  6. lazyaussie says:

    Re: ABC Mecc. I submitted the giant arse close-up, but they didn’t show it. It is supposed to be inspiring public art. This inspires to laughter.


  7. elwrongo says:

    This fellow’s genuinely got his arse hanging out of his pants. My response is sympathetic.

    Is this a comment on indigenous suffering?


  8. Ljuke says:

    Not too far removed from the concrete garden statues in that worst garden post. Perhaps it is a throwback to a gentler, more racist time.

    Further works include a similar statue holding a tin of petrol and claiming more welfare benefits than a white statue, which is situated nearby, looking terrified and clutching his wallet.

    I assume you mean this one Lj.– Ed


  9. fifi says:

    i don’t know the last time i laughed out loud, alone, before cocktails, to such a degree. bless you for sharing this – i’m going to share it with the world now. perhaps it is a success if public art is about bonding society, making the world a happier place blah blah blah…we all think its funny…pure magic.


  10. lazyaussie says:

    Thanks fi. I think this one is the best one I have got so far. I would have liked to have been at the unveiling! Some faint appluase from the gathered councillors?


  11. aggie says:

    Bless you.
    i havent laughed so hard for days. This is so much funnier than the transvestite (alias ‘waiting woman’) at the HMAS Sydney Memorial in Geraldton


  12. chink1 says:

    What a shocker.

    ET didint go home after all, he just got old!!


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  19. cathode says:

    You know, I have lived in Maylands ALL my life and I didnt even know this attrocity was around the corner !
    Shows how much I play tennis : )


  20. This is regarded as a Worst of Perth classic cathode. Many people regard it as a favourite.


    • Revolu says:

      I’m on it NF. I really do hate them and their rehedrsaip too. Please note T-Winty gets his on PP (around 1:50 incidentally, the only Winton I’ll defend as readable). But back to the Popular Penguins for a second. Why are they so affordable? Is it some sort of literature for the masses thing? Or is it a sense of guilt around charging full price for what is public domain/Gutenberg material, by and large? NO! NO I SAY! It’s because a house without books looks empty! It’s because that seven-tiered IKEA masterwerk that brings your lounge/study suite to life in a rhapsody of cedar-tinted pine DEMANDS to be filled! And it can only take so many twig vases and bobble-head Che Guevaras (these exist by the way)! ONLY the soothing, matte orange of THE LITERARY CANON can take away those empty-shelf blues! That’s right! Your Manual of the Warrior of Light’ ain’t gonna cut it! Your Eat Pray Love’ is just chewing up the scenery! GET REAL! GET HIP! GET ORANGE! Read em on the street! Read em on the bus! Stick your twirly-fringed, pencil-sketched nose right in there! Lap it up you style vulture you! Yeah Yeah Yeah! Northanger Abbey? The Prophet? Treasure Island? WHO GIVES A RAT’S ASS!? At the very least you’ve bought $10 worth of breathing space from Hunter S Fucking Thompson! Incidentally,


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  23. keatster says:



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  25. A.Alaalas says:

    Pure genius: rough usage, handling, frottage, etc. over time will wear down this cast bronze arse to proportions you will love. The artist knows what happens to public art by a highly appreciative and interactive, mainly young, audience. Perth is setting a high standard not only in public art but in anticipation of pubic (sic) use of art.


  26. The Legend 101 says:

    See the city of stirling building on Cedric St Innaloo (Near IKEA) it has a gaint one its so tall. It dosent look like a abriginal but i think thats what it was based on.


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  29. juantrak says:

    That statue is just crying out for a decent set of nuts to be hanging off it, to match that huge arse.
    I think I’ll round up a set of 16″ black trucknutz from the American small-dick mob, and sneak down there one night and attach them.


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