Bothering the Botherers

Posted on October 14, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Two graffitis, one from the god bothering community, and one from the god bothering botherers. Don’t you think it a little outre that someone liking God would graffiti  a place of worship? When I worked in film and video, it did always piss me off that one of the best video production facilities in Perth had been taken over by Salvos. This is the former Taimac on William Street Northbridge, now a temple to some dumbarsery  or other. But when it was a video facility, it was also a temple to dumbarsery i suppose, but not quite as dumb as it is now. And speaking of religious worsts, a recent trip to Rottnest reminded me how we were forced to go to church every day at this chapel while on holiday. We didn’t go to church every day when at home. Fucking outrage!textsalvosrottoch

Posted in worst church, worst graffiti | Tagged , , | 46 Comments

The Spanish Steps

Posted on October 13, 2009 by AHC McDonald

OK, bull horns or boozies? I bought this assuming it was boozies, but after getting it (them?) home, the word “Toro” on the back made me realise it was supposed to be a bull. How disappointing. I think the year is supposed to be the bull’s nose. See it now? No? Sticking with boozies? Yeah. You got that right. I know that the Spanish, like the Italians are very rack compliant, so maybe it’s supposed to be both. So be it. Very nice Spanish wine, which can be bought from liquor shop on Beaufort Street across from Astor. spanish

Posted in worst graphic design | Tagged , , | 39 Comments

Housefrau

Posted on October 12, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Strangely I’ve had no worst photos from Curtin’s Oktoberfest. I saw the aftermath here though. I keep calling that beer Hausfrau rather than Hoffbrau. I like my pronunciation better. Munchen Hausfraus Batman!kegssm

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Dead Souls

Posted on October 12, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Why are you being so stingy?”, Sobakevich demanded. “It’s cheap at the price. A rogue would cheat you, sell you some worthless rubbish instead of souls, but mine are as juicy as ripe nuts, all picked—they are all either craftsmen or sturdy peasants.” Dead Souls – Gogol

Whenever I get a submission from Bento, no matter how outre or even obscene the content, he always signs off with, “Should you have any queries, or wish to discuss the matter further, please do not hesitate to contact the undersigned.” Which I think is lovely. Yes, I definitely do wish to discuss  further the idea that Rockingham should have a crime fighting (or should that be crime retardant) penguin. There is no subject I would be more eager to discuss further with the undersigned. I assume Oscar will be undertaking Colin Barnett’s new bong confiscation project Bento?

Gogol wrote Dead Souls as the work that would redeem Mother Russia. Who is to write Rockingham’s Dead Souls? Tim fucking Winton? Who is to be Rockingham’s  Chichikov? Mark fucking McGowan?  The most remarkable thing is that if you substituted Rockingham for backwater Russia, the novel makes even more sense. The second most remarkable thing is that I’m not even drunk while preparing this!

Russia! Russia! Rockingham! Rockingham! I see you now, from my wondrous, beautiful past I behold you! How wretched, dispersed, and uncomfortable everything is about you…

Oscar is dead by now, right Bento?

penguin

Posted in worst advertising | Tagged , , , | 121 Comments

Vibrancy Inspector

Posted on October 11, 2009 by AHC McDonald

I have a new Tshirt, “Vibrancy Inspector”. No Alcohol, New Years Eve, Cottesloe Beach, That’s Perth. However the “Perth The Bunbury of The North” is a clear winner with buyers. It is a damn good design I have to say. I don’t know why the Bunbury Tourist Board isn’t buying it in bulk.  There are some new greeting cards available too, including the sinster burnt out miniature village and no alcohol. Tshirts and cards can be found here.

perthbunbury

vibrancy2mandurah

What says Christmas like a burnt out Hansel and Gretel cottage?

The Best of the TWOP twitter newsfeed this week. No comments on the Shazza tweet huh?

Current news alerts are in the sidebar, or subscribe to them all with The Worst of Perth rss news feed so you don’t miss any gold.

Mother attacked over fart collection throwout. A Morley man who collected farts in jars for 15 years “snapped” when he found his mother had…

SWest Sharons brawl over nickname. A night at an Albany hotel turned bloody as 3 women fought over the right to be called “Shazza”. “Shaggsy…

Italian blogs run foul of censors as use of “Pagina” blocked. Despite being Italian for page, the word pagina has taken on sexual connnotations…

Mandurah a ghost town as new highway opens.  Derelict brothels, abattoirs and crab shops are the result of the Mandurah bypass bypass opening…

New highway brings culture to Bunbury. Exotic goods like coleslaw, post-it notes, and suede have hit Bunbury for the first time. as Perth-Bu…

Posted in Best of banned by The West, Buy The Worst of Perth, worst fashion, worst tshirts, worst twitter | Tagged , | 24 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 76

Posted on October 10, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Was another huge week for TWOP. Big comments, big numbers, big opinions. Would be nice to be a fly on the wall (if they still have flies) when historians access the National/state library archives of TWOP in the centuries to come.  Shazzas rack could be studied closely by many future generations.

Hokusan sends this shot of a world class bucket from Melbourne. Well he sent it months ago, but only just got to it. No doubt the bucket has been fully developed by now. week76worldTim L reprises the parking of FFat and finds another expensive car in 2 bays in the exact same spot. Hmmm. week76ffat2Richarbl counter reprises the 2 poles/blackface controversy with some blackface in his own garden. week76blackAnd a classic numberplater from frequent commenter Phreestyle. week76hummThanks everyone. Worst well.

Posted in weekend worstoff, worst car, worst carpark, worst sculpture, worst sign | Tagged , | 28 Comments

White Swan

Posted on October 9, 2009 by AHC McDonald

In the light of the blackface controversy which (not surprisingly for TWOP) erupted on a post about two poles in Northbridge, I scoured my garden for a concrete aborigine to contribute. I could only find this from my private worst collection. Although it could have been a black swan in whiteface. One day I might have the only two concrete swan planters left out of the tens of thousands that used to exist. At least no-one will be able to say “That’s my Dad’s Swan!” Except for young Master Worst, but he can’t write yet. swan

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts, worst garden | Tagged , | 62 Comments

Spoilt for Choice

Posted on October 8, 2009 by AHC McDonald

I don’t know what this means, it just seems that it should be here. Northbridge.crossing

I feel I should make it easier for people. Here are some phrases commenters can cut and paste. Why type them out yourself?

Get a life.

You obviously don’t know how to have fun.

Why shouldn’t real Australians talk about immigration?

There’s a reason people have fuck off we’re full stickers. (There’s a persistent commenter who seems affronted that he can’t air his racist rantings here.)

Head up your arse (that is a direct quote from Paul Murray)

If you time the fall of the South Tower

That’s my Dad’s__________

Not you Greg.

Yes you Greg.

I have only had one boyfriend and I don’t have big tits.

It’s not about the rooting.

Despite my obvious and major shortcomings, my activities make me superior to you.

The gun was an obvious metaphor.

My rack

I wish to promote Angus Burgers.

Ah, my Baravan appears to be on fire.

Our Nikki has the guts to…

I touched her breasts. They’re real.

You don’t have the balls.

Kahunas.

Good riddance.

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts | Tagged | 241 Comments

Cash for Comment

Posted on October 7, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Skink finds that Paul Nurry is a big enough man to promote TWOP merchandise without predjudice. This would look good while strolling around Dick Piercy Park. I really don’t think he’s a cash for comment man Skink. A cut & paste man yes, but cash no. Actually, perhaps it would be better to not have the speech bubble comments just in case.nurry04

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts, worst journalist | 22 Comments

Prince Albert Park

Posted on October 7, 2009 by AHC McDonald

I haven’t listed this before have I? From Rehana. North Lake Rd Kardinya. If you’ve been unfortunate enough to have been given the name, it doesn’t mean you can stuff your Dick down our throats. Even in the 70’s, surely someone would have thought that Piercy Park would have been sufficient honour for our pig farming friend? Even allowing for the fact that going all piercy on your dick wasn’t as popular then as now, this is unforgiveable. The only saving grace is that is that his wife wasn’t named Nipple. Prince Albert Park donated by Dick Piercy would have been a subtle and amusing touch that unfortunately the Council naming committee wasn’t up for. If only this was in Swanbourne, so we could have heard endlessly about “a quiet day at Dick Piercy Park” from Paul Nurry.dickThe only other submissions I’ve had from Kardinya before (I think) have been hideous racist graffiti.

Posted in worst sign | Tagged , | 77 Comments