Weekend Worstoff 105

Posted on April 24, 2010 by AHC McDonald

If you don’t think you’d look like enough of  a tool with a NKOTB number plate, try a Nickelback one. From Julien. Did we have this before. We’ve had some glorious entry statements, eg Darch, but this one makes entering Claremont seem like driving into Katanning or Moora. From WAtching.Lisa sees some of that ridiculous chalk graffiti. In this disposable world of ours, maybe graffiti is instantly disposable too. Oh, and poo on you by the way. And Mug Punter sees another church trying to be funny. Please don’t do this Jesus jockeys. Makes you look like you’d have a Niklbak numberplate.

Posted in weekend worstoff, worst of perth | Tagged , , | 68 Comments

Castle Kardy

Posted on April 23, 2010 by AHC McDonald

Is this a worst, or does it actually enhance the craphole that is Kardinya? Would I live in it? Yes, if it was in Embleton not Kardinya. Would I call it not worst? I’m not sure, depends on the spirit in which it was built. If it was built as a pisstake, then not worst. However building in Kardinya doesn’t seem compatible with having a sense of humour, so… From Matt via his friend Aaron. Someone else sent me some kind of crackpot castle house. Where is that picture?

Posted in worst architecture, worst house | Tagged , | 83 Comments

Fuct

Posted on April 23, 2010 by AHC McDonald

From Orbea. I think it’s a little rude to editorialise on your chuck-out items. It would be incredibly gauche to add a note saying “Riddled with bedbugs” on a throwaway mattress. It’s not for you to say that the monitor is fuct or that the couch has been humped to death and may contain crabs.

Posted in worst graffiti | Tagged | 25 Comments

More on TV

Posted on April 22, 2010 by AHC McDonald

WAtching has discovered another hand painted TV in Dianella. I know hardly a day goes by when Teh Rapture doesn’t seem to be upon us, but this is a little odd. With channel 99 GO, I don’t think anyone can complain about there being nothing on TV. Bewitched people! Bewitched!

I’ve included a bonus pic of Deano in 1973 for anyone still in need of a gravatar.

Posted in worst art, worst objects | Tagged | 46 Comments

Bums on Streets

Posted on April 22, 2010 by AHC McDonald

When Thomo emailed that he had shots of a bum in an alley I was hesitant. Should some poor devil down on his luck be a part of the freakshow? After all, it would probably have turned out to be Paracleet, WAtching, Outrage or Bento, maggoted after a bender or council meeting. The actual photos were however even more outre than a shot of an unconscious Cookster lying drunk in a pool of his own filth would have been – in an arty kind of way. The two dudes with the thongs are a nice touch too. Obviously thinking, “There butt for the grace of God…”One looks like Daniel Kerr, but I don’t think he can walk at the moment. William Street.

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts, worst objects | Tagged , , | 35 Comments

Indians are our friends

Posted on April 21, 2010 by AHC McDonald

This one is from Melbourne, but I thought you might like to see how sophisticated Melbourne piss shops are combating Indian student bashing. In Perth we are more likely to have Fuck off we’re full Indian friends. Thanks Meccano.

Posted in worst sign | Tagged , | 120 Comments

Feathered Friends

Posted on April 20, 2010 by AHC McDonald

Having a gold Torana in itself isn’t enough to get you into the worst car category. In fact the last one was voted not worst if I remember. What you need to do is to give it some testicles, and then glue feathers to the vehicular nutsack. I hope I never catch myself in the act of gluing feathers onto car testicles. Could fall into world’s worst jobs category. Might inspire some Haiku though. This was the apparition that greeted JustDazzling in Bassendean recently. There was some kind of bumpkin style hat too. And yes the sticker does say “Tongue my doogs”. Tongue my feathered doogs I assume. Just be grateful it doesn’t say “I shit on feathered nurries.”

Posted in worst car | Tagged , , | 53 Comments

Onkyo, The Indoor Ooshta

Posted on April 19, 2010 by AHC McDonald

OK, you’ve snorted some pure ooshta and jacked half  a deck of primo vibrancy in some of Perth’s most secret small bars. You’ve eaten in tiny Tapas joints, so hole in the wall, that you’re not sure whether to insert your cock, or pick up your order of  Pintxos a la San Sebastian. You may even have brawled with fellow beret wearers at Ellingtons Jazz Club, flatting fifths with one hand while administering ninja death chops with the other. Undoubtedly you will have then kicked on in the most irony soaked fashion to the Carlisle Swingers Club, (corkage $100, no outside whips) where you blag your way in even though you don’t have the compulsory woman to share around which is the usual entry fee. And despite being sated by a (literal) convoy of Lathlain housefraus, the watery absinthe they’ve had on tap has you wondering whether to murder the taxi driver (who disturbingly looks like an Egyptian Rob Broadfield) or tip in a ridiculously over the top fashion after the trip home. You choose the latter as he has not objected to driving you around the cobbled laneways of Nuevo East Perth yelling out “Cunt!” and howling like a wolf.  For 40 minutes. Sound familiar? Yes, I know, all very same ole, same ole, ultra boring and sooooooooooo very Perth.

But what does the Perth hipster do for ooshta AFTER he gets back home to the Juliet balconeyed Highgate fuckpad? Of course he listens to old vinyl on a deliciously retro 80’s, or better still 70’s turntable. Some Frank S, a lot of Dean M, some Herb A, Johnny C and hideous 60’s compilations he wouldn’t dream of soiling his ipod with.

I managed to join that elite group when I got an old Onkyo for zero dollars from a Fremantle antique shop yesterday. (it seemed to not be working, but the belt had just slipped off.)  It’s so outre, it doesn’t even have a cassette player! If you haven’t got into the old vinyl/turntable scene already, you may be too late, as both are skyrocketing in price. Yes, $5 for Cocktail International is a skyrocketing price.

“Herb Alpert looks like a Latin, but isn’t…” begin the liner notes. Which may explain his painfully pedestrian blowing of Hello Dolly. And a Cocktail International track may segue obscenely from Stranger in the Night to a few bars of Monday Monday before plunging insanely into The Sun aint Gonna Shine Anymore. But no matter, the sound is rich, fat, superb and the circle of vibrancy goes on… And the SF indicator? I’ve no idea. It flashes purple sometimes.

Posted in worst music, worst people | Tagged , , | 141 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 104

Posted on April 17, 2010 by AHC McDonald

Perth newsnooze makers Courtney Ryan, Eli and Simon (link now working) have asked if TWOP viewers are aware of their video satire on Sunday Times Perth Now site. (Not a satire of PerthNow, but a satire of Perth btw) Here is one of their pics. If you can face going to Perthnow have a look at their video.Bag O’ Turnips who has recently entered into the comment fray with some gusto was also fortuitously able to find a pic of the much discussed and much missed Hung Long in William Street circa 1991. Anisette (of ugly car photo collection we have seen before) notes that just because you have the neatest writing, doesn’t mean you should do the sign. Note that it was also going to be Hans free. I prefer my phones to be sans hans too. Audiocom North Freo.Worst well this weekend

Posted in weekend worstoff, worst sign | Tagged , | 62 Comments

The Sow must die, Mr Speaker

Posted on April 15, 2010 by AHC McDonald

I don’t run too many non original photos, (particularly when WAching, Outrage and others have sent me thousands) but these from Greg R seen on the website for Bunbury’s Lord Forrest Hotel are intriguing enough. Perhaps the cudchewers of Bunbury have different ideas about romance and relaxation than us city smartarses, but what role are the Bananas in Pyjamas expected to play in this romantic evening? And is parliamentary question time, albeit on a big screen, the bumpkin version of a post coital ciggie? The effect is sinister to the extent that it seems certain he has pages of “All work and no play Mr Speaker, makes Jack a dull boy.” on that laptop. Odd, very odd.

Posted in worst advertising | Tagged , , | 101 Comments