Castle Kardy

Is this a worst, or does it actually enhance the craphole that is Kardinya? Would I live in it? Yes, if it was in Embleton not Kardinya. Would I call it not worst? I’m not sure, depends on the spirit in which it was built. If it was built as a pisstake, then not worst. However building in Kardinya doesn’t seem compatible with having a sense of humour, so… From Matt via his friend Aaron. Someone else sent me some kind of crackpot castle house. Where is that picture?

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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83 Responses to Castle Kardy

  1. poor lisa says:

    His friend Aaron Spelling right?

    It’s certainly not any worse than anything else I’ve seen in Kardy.

    Like

  2. rolly says:

    A-a-a-h-h!

    The ubiquitous cult of pretentiousness.

    Very 21st. century Perth.

    Plenty of cash, no taste, and even less creative imagination.

    Welcome to beautiful Bogan Ville.

    Like

    • rolly says:

      I give it a ‘Not Worst’ vote on the basis that there are many, many, others of superior worstestness all around the suburbs, many of them ‘architect designed’ – which just has to be an euphemism for aesthetically and practicability ‘challenged’.

      Like

    • And yet, the wheelie bins sort of give it a certain something. Without the bins and the power pole it would lack that essence.

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      • Bag O'Turnips says:

        I think it also needs a ’77 Ford Fairlane Marquis or LTD (with the Rolls-Royce styled grille) in the drive: that sense of gaudy opulence that was something to aspire to in that era. Or even maybe a ’76 Holden HX Monaro coupé, finished in the mandatory burgundy with gold honeycomb wheels and maroon velour trim?

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      • Bill O'Slatter says:

        Yes the je ne sais quoi The driveway bespeaks of a need for automotive prowess. As for clinkers no longer available well you now have to roll your own.

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    • Bill O'Slatter says:

      What else can you use clinker bricks for ? Mind you invading armies may be easily able to scale the walls.

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  3. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Awesome – I love it. Certainly not a worst, unlike The Kardy itself.

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  4. shazza says:

    Perhaps this is the city pad of Prince Leonard of Hutt River Principality?

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  5. Bag O'Turnips says:

    Have a look at the second image, where the light reflects off of the brickwork: CLINKER BRICKS! Aargh! That immediately dates it as being of the 1970s, especially 1974-1977.

    Truth be told, in some ways I do appreciate the humble clinker; there is a certain warmth and earthiness that they impart. But only when it’s in the context of an interior feature wall in a sunken lounge room with cream shag-pile carpet, orange acrylic dome lights, green bottle-base feature glass in the windows and champagne brocade curtains, all capped of with a chocolate velour modular suite and a walnut-panelled corner bar. That I could abide.

    But not when they are the exterior bricks: dark bricks act as heat magnets and with this Chateau de Kardinya, there’s no eaves at all. Typical 1970s poor energy efficiency goin’ down here. But at least they had an excuse of not being quite aware of those concepts on a broader scale in them days, unlike those relatively recent Tuscanstrosities (which look nothing at all like what abounds in Central Italy), built when there was a surfeit of information: it was almost as if these were constructed as an act of wilful idiocy. At least Chateau de Kardinya has some unique kitsch woven in, unlike the multitudinous faux-Tuscan McMansions built to a cost for CUBs and the nouveau riche.

    By the way TLA, when you were asking about a crackpot castle house, were you thinking of the one at the summit of Wanneroo Road in Tuart Hill, near the footbridge? That is a house that looks positively scary that one. I can’t even date it, but it has always looked somewhat rickety and jerry-built. Or where you thinking of those crazy “character” houses around Stonehouse Crescent in Bentley?

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    • It doesn’t look old enough. Looks in too good a condition to be from 70’s.

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      • shazza says:

        I’d say qunitessential 80’s.

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      • Bag O'Turnips says:

        Have you seen some of the houses in Carine and the newer parts of Karrinyup, contemporaneous to KK? If you have had a single owner, who designed the house themselves and are immensely proud of it, they’ll still look top notch 30 or 40 years hence. And despite the dark colour, clinkers actually hold up quite well. A bit like the similarly toned cockroaches, I s’pose. And besides, I would think that clinker bricks haven’t been available new since the early 80s, when cream, brown and russet coach and rustic bricks were all the rage.

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        • Bag O'Turnips says:

          Then again, they may have got a bulk discount on a clearance sale of clinkers around 1981, by then having become deeply unfashionable, and thought, “hmm, what am I to do with thousands of chocolate clinker bricks? I know what: build a castle mighty! What genius!”

          But I’m inclined to suggest that this would’ve been most likely constructed circa 1975-77, going by the fact that this street has overhead powerlines; newer sections of Kardinya that have underground services date from late 70s and early 80s. And of course, that the likelihood of it being a classic 1970s edifice is high, as it was, after all, the decade where everybody pretty much let it all hang out and where tasteful restraint was put on hold until at least the early 80s.

          Like

    • vegan says:

      personally, i am very fond of the clinker brick. i am very pleased that i work in a building constructed from them.

      thankfully it looks nothing like this pastiche of horrors.

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    • Aimee Tucker says:

      This house was built in late 1970’s – My grandparents built the one next to it in 1978 and was being built when they were building theres. Italian family bought it has 6 bedrooms and a family of 4 were living there! Would be worth a mint now :)

      Like

  6. skink says:

    it’s a McCastle

    totally suited to the Peth environment

    no doubt when it’s forty degrees in February, with no shade ofver the windows, and black bricks, it will be like living in a camp oven.

    it really needs storm clouds overhead, thunder and lightning, and Howling Wolves.

    Like

  7. Mez says:

    nope, that’s terrible. I’ll stop by on the way home tonight and chuck a brick at it.

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  8. Maddison-Jaxon Tyler-Mason says:

    Function laid to seige
    But, triumph of aesthetics?
    No way- shit mountain

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  9. shazza says:

    Disappointing to note there’s no gatekeeper in the 2nd picture.

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  10. Jaidyn-Jaxxon Taylor-Shanesmith says:

    like, a billion bonus points for stacking spotties under the Olde Streetelampe

    Like

  11. David B says:

    In a former life (around 10 years ago) as a delivery boy I had the dubious honour of having the drawbridge lowered to deliver some furniture. You will all be pleased to know that the house was decorated with swords and full suits of armour. Not sure if the current owners have continued the theme … I hope so.

    Like

  12. Mez says:

    ugh, just had a horrible thought – it’s not a Klopper is it?

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    • vegan says:

      wash your mouth out!

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    • shazza says:

      No way!

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      • Aimee Tucker says:

        This house is on Windella road next door to my grandparents house. I know the owners of this house! I have been inside this house and its HUGE inside alot, very gothic looking inside. Italians had it for about 15 years. Used to give me nightmares when I was a kid! But gotta love the red trademark driveway next door which is my grandparents house :)

        Like

  13. wicked guy says:

    I think it would be awesome to live in this castle! Its quite unique and refreshing from the bland houses nowadays.

    Does anyone know if the Italians still live there… I would love a tour!! Are there any other castles like this in Perth?

    Like

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