Rictus Belmontus

In the third century B.C. the Greek stoic philosopher Chrysippus died of laughter after giving his donkey wine, then seeing it attempt to feed on figs.

In the 21st Century Skink visited Belmont Forum, possibly to put shit on Belmontonians. What he saw will shock you. A competition to send Belmont your best smile, with some graphic design that suggests some hideous hysterical death caused by some toxic mould that grows on shopping trolleys. Every one of the subjects seems to be begging “Kill me, please!” with their eyes. It does seem to confirm my suspicions that the only smile you’ll get in Belmont is a photoshopped one. I was pouring shit on Belmont myself in the live show last week.  Skink claims the website is even worse than this, however, like the La Chong offerings, I prefer to be above such links and refuse to look. I prepared my own as if I would be happy to go to Belmont. It’s harder than it looks. No matter what I did, I couldn’t look happy about Belmont.

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About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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20 Responses to Rictus Belmontus

  1. Snuff says:

    Thanks for reminding me, TLA, that I must get back to Belmont Park sometime to check out the memorabilia inside the International Centre, and maybe a Belmont barbecue.

    Like

  2. David Cohen says:

    They must be Jokering.

    Like

  3. Rolly says:

    Dali-esque, Lazy.

    It was in the Belmont shopping centre that I first woke up to the reason why shopping trolleys are so ginormous.

    It’s in order to use them to to force a space in the hordes for the fat arses that follow.

    Now, it seems, they are no longer wide enough.

    Bummer.

    Oh! The subject is heads, not tails.

    The fat heads who designed this promo will probably be wearing the biggest grins because, apart from possibly having the greatest facial areas on which to present them, they are the ones who will benefit financially from their success at manipulating the herds of dumbos who will join in.

    I wanna puke.

    Like

  4. Snuff says:

    Bugger. I knew I shouldn’t have looked.

    Like

  5. monkeypants says:

    the middle photo could be Bill & Hillary Clinton and Chelsea as the small one.

    Like

  6. skink says:

    it’s a Feats of Fugly, isn’t it?

    some of the babies on that site qualify for this:

    Like

  7. curious says:

    their photoshop skills are pretty ordinary.

    Like

  8. Big Ramifications says:

    Reminds me of one of the ghouls from the movie, House (1986).

    Maybe this one?

    Like

  9. shazza says:

    Reminded me a little of Heath Ledgers Joker.

    Like

  10. xald says:

    Sweet mother of christ, that is nightmare fuel of the highest degree. Who actually thought that was a good idea?

    Like

  11. WAtching says:

    As if this ad wasn’t bad enough, now Medibank is having a crack at the ‘oversize grin’ style of advertising.

    It obviously worked for Belmont.

    Like

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