Weekend Worstoff 50

Someone else sent a shot of this SA obscenity driving, but Matt had already sent me some documentation of it stationary. It’s a little surprising that it does move. Thanks Matt.

week50car1week50car2week50car3(Run) DMc sent this from very close to The Eagles Lair TWOP headquarters. I’m not sure if it’s right to discriminate like this. Do they really not want Eagle Boys discount flyers?

week50domMel ventured into TWOP official tipple territory and got this shot of a er howling cow, before the wolf pack cut her down. Thanks Mel.

week50cowJoe sent in a nice typo from UWA website. It’s a pity they couldn’t have worked cunt into that typo but looks like they tried. So close.

week50typoAnd an overseas worst from Sarah, who took exception to this company name in LA. (Los Angeles not Lazy Aussie.) Fallas discount? Or is it a typo too? You should never buy a discount fallas. False economy.

week50fallasWell, I think you got your money’s worth this weekend. Reader numbers are well up, so something must be going right. Worst well my pretties. Worst well.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in weekend worstoff, worst advertising, worst car, worst sign, worst transport and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Weekend Worstoff 50

  1. Joe says:

    Love the somewhat preserved “G’day mate” bumper sticker on the front of the car.
    And why would you put a bumper sticker on the front of a car? How would anyone see it?

    Like

  2. Snuff says:

    How the mighty croweaters have fallen from the halcyon days of Zafari Art, TLA, although I think Harry and Michael would love the 3d corrugated howling cow.

    Avagoodweegend.

    Like

  3. Grrr says:

    I quite like the cow, but corrugated animals are a bit of a country cliche.

    Like

  4. shazza says:

    What a visual feast TLA.

    Apropos the increased reader numbers, I noticed the ‘eyefuls’ were turning over at a rapid click. This may well mean there are plenty of opinionated TWOPers lurking in the shadows. The ex social worker in me is compelled to reach out and encourage their participation.

    Be you bright or dull, sharp or blunt, dim witted, half witted or just witty tell us your thoughts. Even Liberal voters are welcome (steady Frank).

    I am, you are, we are Perthalians.

    (Apologies for such a presumptuous post TLA, but that’s just the way I roll.)

    Like

  5. Rolly says:

    shazza, my dear,

    By the time I’ve done the rounds of some of the humourless postings that I read on a few of the rather “straight” b/boards that I frequent, I too am all out of wit and good humour.

    You might have noticed that, from time to time, I lament the stupidity of the human animal. Those pontifications usually succeed an unhealthily long period of restraining my inclination to rip into some of the dopey sods whose memories don’t go as far back as the previous two postings and certainly not to the preceding couple of threads.
    A large proportion completely misread what was written in any case and take great personal offense where none was intended, and completely miss the more subtle references to them being total and utter fuckwits.

    Today’s one of those days.

    Like

    • shazza says:

      Rolly I empathise with your position. You may note I said ex social worker – the ex is because I eventually came to terms with my misanthropic streak. So yes people give me the utter shits too.

      Like

    • naka says:

      Some of them aren’t as idiotic as they seem, they just have trouble communcating.

      Like

  6. Rolly says:

    You know TLA, I think that the paintwork is attempt at camouflage.

    Imagine it on the footpath of your average strip of small shops in a little side street shopping centre: It would be vitually invisible in the undergrowth of small advertising signs that are themselves almost totally indistinguishable from one another and which succeed at nothing, except to retard progress along the pavement and to annoy the passers-by sufficiently for them to become oblivious of the emporia themselves and the merchandise on offer.

    Like

  7. Rolly says:

    That is true of *some* naka, but they are not the one’s that trouble me.
    The one’s to whom I refer are not troubled teenagers but people, usually men, well into middle age and beyond, who find it necessary to have an opinion on everything, despite an obvious lack of knowledge and experience regarding the topic under discussion. They refuse to accept factual information when it is presented and take great offence at their “expertise” being questioned.
    That fact that there has been a protracted debate and a satisfactory conclusion reach only a few threads previously seems to be irrelevent to them.
    That they have completely misinterpreted the previous couple of postings prior to theirs is taken as a personal attack when it is pointed out.
    They have no difficulty communicating; just with comprehending that “Be reasonable, do it my way” is not, was not and will never be a good maxim for a successful life.

    Like

  8. Rolly says:

    Rolly is a pontificating pratt; but smack on the money.

    Like

  9. ratbag23 says:

    Lazy Aussie:

    What’s wrong with the corrugated iron cow? Don’t you like ANYTHING? What the fuck’s wrong with you? And while I’m at it, stop fucking spamming Facebook!

    Like

    • shazza says:

      Ratbag, it occured to me you may be joking, but just in case your’e not I have to say your powers of observation are amiss.

      Apart from the fact that corrugated cows are incredibly twee, if you look a bit closer you will note the Howling Wolf sign. Then look closer at the cow..it is howling too. That is actually Fuckin funny, while also being a touch daggy.

      Furthermore you will note in the sidebar the categories. One of which is ‘not worst’. Anyone, even you, can take a pic and nominate a category. So if you, as it appears, happen to have a soft spot for corrugated farm animals you can make a case to LA for why ‘not worst’ may be the right category for a pic. However I suspect you’ll be pushing it uphill to even try on this occasion.

      Lighten up buddy!

      Like

      • He sounds like one of those bitter country drunks Shazza. Owns a Baravan. Shoots at “long hairs” Can “rap, not really music” be far away?

        Like

        • Frank Calabrese says:

          And hangs off every word of Howard Sattler and votes Nationals.

          Like

        • ratbag23 says:

          Can you just tell me if there is ONE piece public sculpture in Perth that you actually LIKE? It’s very easy to be negative about everything.

          Right, now I’m off to have a spray at Geraldine Doogue. See ya!

          Like

          • Rolly says:

            Can’t speak for TLA, but after a fairly recent stay of several years duration in the ‘beautiful’ cities of France, Germany and Italy, I’m a bit averse to any kind of “Public Sculpture” any where, any time.
            Eventually one gets total sensory overload and the damned things just get in the plurry way of the larger landscape and frequently obstruct the passage of pedestrian traffic.

            Like

          • skink says:

            if ratbag would like to spend time in a ‘feelgood’ environment, may I recommend Pam Casellas’ blog, where she discusses the differences between dog people and cat people. I can also recommend LOLcats, which is totally inoffensive and guaranteed to put a smile on his simple face.

            as for sculture, I recommend Howard Taylor’s Black Stump at UWA, which stands as an example of what happens when a nice work is unappreciated by dullards who prefer nice sculptures of kangaroos.

            Like

            • ratbag23 says:

              Both of you, try to concentrate, focus. Get a grip. I’m not averse to about 98% of what is presented here. But if I disagree with something, I will say so. Otherwise it’s just a club of ditto-headed, smugly nodding, group-thinking types, who are no better than the average Perth-ite with the usual small-town attitude of “ohhh no, we don’t want that here, we don’t want to build this, we don’t want to change that, we like it just the way it is – nice’n’quiet and laid back, we don’t want to be like those big cities in the Eastern States”.

              Like

              • shazza says:

                Ratbag, I’m from Freo way so rarely venture over the bridges to ‘town’. However I quite like the kangaroos that DFOC despises. I also like the Bell Tower. I even like that water ball thingy down near Forrest Place. I like the entrance to East perth at night, I like the art at the large exit roundabout in Bunbury. I am a big fan of public art.

                But I am an even bigger fan of any site that allows us to take the piss out of these things. I hazzard a guess most people on this site have travelled OS, and many of us have also lived interstate. Yet we all (with a few notable exceptions) choose at this point to reside in Perth. From that fact you can surmise that we love this quaint, dichotomous city, and therefore reserve our entitlement to slag it off as much as we like.

                Like

                • ratbag23 says:

                  I agree that it’s great that Mr. Lazy Aussie allows us a forum to eviscerate the wantonly bad, the willfully clueless, the feckless, the tasteless and the inexcusably half-arsed. I marvel at it sometimes, how the man has the time to give us new and fresh material each day to sink our collective Coke-ravaged gums into.

                  By the way I like the kangaroos too. Hate the minerals kebab nearby though (is that still there?).

                  Like

              • skink says:

                I’m rather fond of Eliza

                nice sturdy girl

                Like

              • Bento says:

                The problem is in the process, ratbag.

                Most commonly, developers are required to provide ‘public art’ as part of any development (usually a proportion of the cost of development), and generally don’t give a shit what it looks like, as long as it ticks of the planning condition. They then engage an artist (usually one recommended by the local government) to undertake the work. The initial idea goes back and forth between the commissioned artist and the (inherently conservative) local government bureaucrats (making sure the materials aren’t easily vandalised, it doesn’t have sharp corners, it’s not in any thoroughfare, it won’t reflect in drivers’ eyes, etc), until something appropriately mediocre and inoffensive is approved.

                And, voila! Just add some cracks and boozies, and you’ve got a genuine piece of Perth public art.

                Like

                • ratbag23 says:

                  This sort of self-defeating committee process doesn’t surprise me at all, and is very Perth. Maybe that’s part of why I live in a smaller town now where those sorts of sentiments can be readily expected, and I can relax about it, rather than being upset about a big country town like Perth trying hard to look like a city when in fact it’s just a bunch of reactionary rednecks (present company excluded of course). But to me, Perth itself is analogous to the Dockers. It’s crap, you sort of love it but hate it at the same time, you kind of hope it will get better after so many years of mediocrity and be something you’re not ashamed of, but it never ever does, ever.

                  And you wonder why I stare out through a brick hole in the wall!?

                  Like

              • Groucho says:

                I sometimes feel that Perth sculptures are an attempt at satire…but then I realise they are not.

                Like

  10. shazza says:

    Well I am glad to see others respond. I was beginning to suspect the post was a set-up in relation to my initial comment.

    Paranoia easing now.

    Like

  11. Johnny Nonation says:

    Totally unrelated post this but McDonald’s have breakfast times ending at 11am now. I thought I’d share this with all of you in case you are hungry and up for a bite tomorrow morning at your nearest, umh, Macca’s. Let me know how you get on. Anyone go to The Who concert?

    Like

    • Groucho says:

      The Who concert best described as “nostalgic”…… Roger has lost the voice, Pete managed to let loose once only on the 2nd last song of the night , Ringo’s son was pretty shit hot on the drums…. and I am lucky my ticket was free.

      Like

    • Klag O'Callamitty says:

      From the desk of K’O’C coolest commish in Coolistan, daddio
      Thankfully this week I don’t have to deal with lightweights like Tom Percy and their do gooder rabbiting on about the suspension of habitus cavitas and extra bonus special we had the Who here. They might be 103 but they are still rocking, dudes. The Filth wouldn’t be the covers band it is without those cats.
      Sad news; we had to retreat from the airport or Fort Guadalajara. I gave the order yesterday. It’s a no go zone. too freakin dangerous. What with the AK-47s, the RPGs and those metal dividers we call head crackers. I left it to the AFP, the Dirty Monkeys and the Hell’s Balls bikie gangs to battle the G spot out.

      We’ve got a few new campaigns on the boil I’d like to tell you about, and for these initiatives I’d like to thank the Curtin University New Initiatives in Policing department.(CUNPI) The new Internet surveillance squad kicked off with operation “Name , shame and blame” on the lovers and loppers website run by the Christian Youth from CUNPI, ancillary constable Mike Hunt . One day that kiddie will have a place in the forensic squad. “Who, who the eff are you “. The “drugs are bad, man” campaign is also running in conjunction with loversandloppers.
      We’ll also have me and the Filth’s question and answer blog “Just ask the Commish”. ‘E-spec, dudes for I-policing. In TWOP’s honour we’re forming the ancient drug deals squad, and we’re 100% guaranteed to get you for you’re ancient occy and flake deals. Don’t say we don’t pay attention to the inter-crap. We’ll call it the Dead Parrot squad and put Mike “Dino” Dean in as advisor. Then there’s the “Two fists, no stink” anti violence in Northbridge (Fort Carlton) campaign with Constable “The Farts” Fazio. He’s all gassed up and ready to go, another successfully reenhabilitated member of the Balga boxing club.
      The beware , be aware , I-scare , E-fright anti cyber bullying and “Collect Engrish” campaign with former Ms Asia , Women’s auxiliary constable Ms Pong will be frothing up .
      The “No pavement pizza Showtime” anti – chunder campaign with Detective Sergeant “Barra” from our undercover blokes on the job at 6PR will also be inescapably erupting shortly.
      We’re covering all ends with these blokes.
      Our final killer idea is to have posters of me in pubs By 2050 Fort Carlton will be safe for kiddies.
      New! New! New!

      Coming back to our main pre-occupation at the moment , on the lovers and loppers site they’ve got their dicks and pussies out ,exchanging vital bodily fluids , slurping ,sucking , drooling ,leering ,sniffing and sharing a sniff of an e apparently., nasties totally on display if not rubbing , running around commando style , dropping their daks , yaks and turds in random and inappropriate places with missuses and insignificant others upset .It’s been the classic Rome burning ,. Bacchanalian orgy , sod-on and gone tomorrow seen aria , with respect for Laws and Orders non existent and Sections 45 , 34 subsection a-d of the Act totally contravened and on display. Well all of this will be changing shortly I can assure you.

      Anyway, enough of this shit, I’m out of here, to have a few squirts with Dino. Did you know he’s retiring shortly? He’s been the yog to my yan. Did I tell you I’ve got a PhD?
      If Col’n were alive today he’d be on our side and not notice the missing 3%, I just know it.
      “Meet the new boss, same as the old boss…”
      A well surveilled society is a happy society , remember that folks.

      Like

      • Even on length alone that was an excellent comment. What about the country drunks squad? Surely Grylls must get a guaranteed number of heads kicked in the country?

        Like

        • Klag O'Callamitty says:

          The Quintin George squad is still on the drawing boards LA. We’re still taking suggestions for initiatives from interested members of the public. Your listeners are welcome to write in to CUNPI .So far we’ve the “Just say no to your uncle “, “Leave the livestock alone ” and the “have another drink but keep thinking “campaigns. All our slow talking , slow thinking officers are taking an interest.

          Like

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