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The Vagrant & The Bag Lady

February 10, 2010 by The Lazy Aussie

It seems like every second Perth driver is feverishly attempting to make themselves look like a dickhead with a witty number plate, (including Outrage Cohen).  So much so that the genre is just about sucked dry here at The Worst of Perth. These two however have added that extra layer of irony that takes them to the next level. You’ll need to beat this to get another licence plate published. Did he actually mean vagrant? I’m thinking he might just have got the wrong word. Was he trying for drifter? Bum may also have been taken already. Bento has spent months trying to capture this plate. Apparently Mrs Bento doesn’t even bother to roll her eyes anymore when he takes out his camera. Bag Lady is all mine. At least she’s not a fart in a bag lady.

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts | Tagged | 3 Comments »

Sandalis

February 9, 2010 by The Lazy Aussie

You love that which you can lose, yourself, a woman, a country, a pair of sandals. Whenever we show pity, we empty our souls. Guibariane did not die of fear, he died out of shame – Shame for his stinking clodhoppers. The salvation of humanity is in its shame! Andrei Tarkovsky’s Solaris, 1972

This is the sort of subtle worst that I love. It gives the impression that the owner of the manky sandals stepped out of them and floated away after being shamed by the new shoes in the Nedlands window at night. Another gentle reminder that the rapture is still coming. Ellie saw these on Hampton Rd in Nedlands. She also claimed that the area was crawling with cockroaches, which may be the explanation for the giant bite taken out of the sandals. Another subtle worst to delight the historians of the future. Who the fuck was this Mainy they keep talking about? And sandals? Why Perth, why?

Posted in worst fashion | Tagged , , , | 75 Comments »

Airport 77

February 9, 2010 by The Lazy Aussie

Is it a weathervane? Is it a folly? Is it an attack drone? Shazza found this rooftop accoutrement in Spearwood. It turns in the wind apparently.

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts | 26 Comments »

idontfknlovepink

February 8, 2010 by The Lazy Aussie

The Pink lovin’ pink car shouldn’t venture to Darlington. Pink CDs are cast out as rubbish, waiting for the next bushfire to consume her evil pinky sounds. Some may remember the similar sad but well deserved fate for the Travelling Wilburys.

Posted in worst music | Tagged , , | 26 Comments »

Forgive Tiger

February 8, 2010 by The Lazy Aussie

Richarbl sends in a fine worst where an ad for a garage sale is extended to pleading forgiveness for Tiger Woods’ willie. I came for the broken Atari, but stayed to forgive the Tiger donger its transgressions. To have an errant donger is human. To  forgive one is divine. Northbridge.

Posted in worst advertising, worst sign | Tagged , , , , | 14 Comments »

Weekend Worstoff 94

February 6, 2010 by The Lazy Aussie

Bento saw this in Inglewood. Sled dogs must love living in perth. Perineum saw another attempt at goon bag bird control in Highgate. Is there nothing these crazy bags can’t do? Perineum also claims to be uncovering the worsts of WA history on his/her blog.And Gil spotted an old hearse in Maddington with a typical Maddington resident inside. Obviously off to the Maddington Swingers Club. Thank you. Worst well.

Posted in weekend worstoff | 53 Comments »

The Loved One

February 5, 2010 by The Lazy Aussie

Your little Aimée is wagging her tail in heaven tonight, thinking of you. …
Evelyn Waugh – The Loved One

Speaking of dumbarse new Perth suburb names, WAtching revisted an established dumbarse name suburb, which has a new slogan to get the punters in. I went past Dog Swamp myself yesterday and it was dry as a nun’s camel’s. Frankly it made my tail droop.


Posted in Worst suburb, worst name | Tagged , | 55 Comments »

Welcome to Darch

February 5, 2010 by The Lazy Aussie

I’ve never believed that the suburb of Darch actually existed, but apparently here’s proof that it does. Nicholas T captured the ghetto chic that is apparently the only charm of the place. Perth has an ever growing list of suburbs I’ve never heard of and wonder why people would go there. I swear I heard someone refer to a suburb called Camillo. It doesn’t seem to have a sister city sign yet, but Nicholas thinks it is paired with Pripyat in the Ukraine. Will have to check with She-Ra.

Posted in not worst, worst graffiti | Tagged , | 102 Comments »

Premier

February 4, 2010 by The Lazy Aussie

MyNing, who acheived fame with his bad photos of Paul Murray, now furthers his photographic  credentials with a bad photo of Colin Barnett. Inexplicably he also includes a shot of the back of the Premier’s head. His best side. Cunctatious Col was down in Boddington for the opening of a new mine. I wonder if he popped down to Ravensthorpe to check on the mothballing of the Nickel mine? MyNing’s work reminds me somehow of the work of Andre Kertesz, particularly the back of head shot. Can you get Mark McGowan, perhaps scratching his ring MyNing?

Posted in worst politician | Tagged , | 18 Comments »

Lamination Poisoning. Perth’s Passive Agressive Hub

February 4, 2010 by The Lazy Aussie

Lamination poisoning (it’s a poison)
A toxic wasteland (got a toxic wasteland) in your staff bog
Overloaded (I’m overloaded), suffering (yeah!)
Overloaded (overloaded) on microwave privileges

Everything is black and white
You are wrong and we are right
First we’ll spank your big behinds
Then we’ll twist your little minds

I’m dr. righteous (I’m dr. righteous), and I’m here to sing (yeah!)
That lamination is poisoning
It’s a dirty dish wasteland, that destroys the young (yeah!)
They’re overloaded (overloaded) on coffee grounds, toilet brushes, sex and drugs
And rock and roll! STYX

Orbea presents a few, just a few mind,  of the incredibly moronic signs that cover virtually every surface of the interior of City West Lotteries House. What sort of mentality drives someone to make up and laminate a sign on how to use the soap dispenser in the bog? Do they not  see that it is their signs that are worse than any actual problem? I assume every single employee delights in fucking up the soap dispenser, pissing all over the toilet brush, switching off the urn, pouring coffee grounds down the sink…

Roughage my arse. Get fucked. Your font fever and underlining indicates you may be an idiot.

I’m turning it off now dickhead. I have also crapped in this urn.

I directed a stream of urine onto this brush. I’m refilling bladder to slash upon your laminator.

Get fucked.

Fuck off.

Posted in worst sign | Tagged , , | 161 Comments »

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