Kalamunda, Australia’s ugliest town centre?

With Snuff still tantric training, I thought I’d take a close survey of Kalamunda town centre this Saturday. I know it is regarded by many as Western Australia’s ugliest town centre - even Dunsborough can’t match the decades of ill chosen building approvals, but is it Australia’s? And furthermore, who is to blame for the unrelenting shite that is Kalamunda town centre? There is not a single building in the main street that anyone would object to being demolished. Worse, there’s nobody actually calling for a street wide demolition. Just have a look at this awful, awful town, ironically surrounded by some beautiful residential areas.
Did nobody object to this revolting Reno of the Stirk Medical Centre? And notice how removing a Toyota dealership has made the place less interesting.

Behold the magic vista of Haynes Street! Kalamunda residents, your council approved this.

It’s not just recent development. Kalamunda’s commercial buildings have been designed and approved by morons since, well forever. Some abortions from the 70s.


These I think 80s.


Who could possibly want to enter this building? Awful. Will be empty for years to come.


There is nothing you could do to this place to make it inviting to enter.

And the 1960s (?) library used to be a total abortion, but Kalamunda planners, council and ratepayers have managed to make the recent redevelopment even fucking shittier! The new “cultural” centre is ok I guess. But cultural and Kalamunda in the same title, only provokes giggling.

Here’s a gem from the what 1960s? St BARNabus church. What a piece of crap. Maybe the interior is a masterpiece of modern design?

And even in the 2000s they are still sticking to the most repulsive shit brick designs. Why? This look has been rubbish for 20 years. Yes. Good luck leasing this piece of shit. You’d have to pay people to enter it.

And this is recent. Someone submitted plans for this, and the council said, “Yes, of course you can put that monstrosity in public view in the centre of our town. Why not decorate it with some burning turds in paper bags for the opening?”

And perhaps the only two buildings worth saving, the Kalamunda Hotel and next door, still have to be shittified with giant roller door and plastic awnings. And a dubiously planned beer garden.


And here are some other random pieces of crap across several decades. Mind you, this is not a highly edited selection. This is what it is like across the whole town! Kalamunda is unrelenting shite from arsehole to breakfast.


Thanks for this view Coles and Kalamunda council.


A community centre. Jeeezus.

How embarrassing that the only building of any interest in the main drag is a crappy 70s fock Tudor pub. BTW the ex antiques retro shop is for lease if you are desperately looking for some premises to go bankrupt in.



Posted in worst of perth | 9 Comments


BSWAM, took in a town wide garage sale just for us. Tivoli, New York.
BSWAM says,
Greetings! The quaint village of Tivoli, NY, pictured here on the banks of the upper mid-Hudson, has an annual town-wide garage sale every year.

Here we see a happy cross-section of the locals perusing one of the garage sales.

This is not a garage sale.

Many are the treasures you will find at Tivoli’s town-wide garage sale. For example, Santa and some rather shrill-looking helpers.

I think my favorite is the mother and child painting, although all three of these are brilliant.


Or a set of complete dishes minus some broken ones.


Posted in worst of perth | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Vale Voldemort

Golden Boy followed the directions to Hogwarts. Went past a “dead cunt” and ended up with little surprise at Mt Henry Tavern TAB. It can happen. True story.





Posted in worst graffiti | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Unless Rapture

Beautiful multiworst submission from Bill O’Slatter. The pencil pines, the Cocoses,the savage blue sky, the brick and tile, the Morleyness – and is that a Queensland Box hiding back there? You’d be positively satanic to refuse that plea to play badminton. Jesus loved and died for you, and you can’t be bothered turning up on a Tuesday night for badi?



Posted in multiple worsts, worst church, worst sign, Worst suburb, worst tree | Tagged , , , , | 18 Comments

Winning at Fremantling

Yes, a bamboo and walnut bike. By Pete F. You wouldn’t see this in cockroach cunt territory surely, though only a few hundred metres away. Registered for SoFro use only I would guess.



Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts | Tagged , , | 15 Comments


I did have the feeling that Perth graffiti had matured. Has there not been just a few less C&Bs out there? I don’t mean 3d versions. However this pic by Prince Angar of Avacal aka Ninefingers took me back over half a decade where tagging cocos palm fronds was cutting edge. Found by a school staff member. Whether on the tree, wasn’t stated. The education hub’s name has been suppressed to protect their Naplan rating. This is taking the anti chaplain campaign to a frightening new level.

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Outrage Sunday 157 Boxer Troy Gomes

Again with the Premier Buswell, this time from Aunty via Dave P. buswellpremierHard-hitting news about a Myer model’s efforts towards a Gaza cease-fire, and a boxer’s promise that no child will be without a Tim Winton paperback to read at lunchtime: The West is on the ball. gomesgreengymIt’s a mad world: enough to make you wash blow and go. washblowgomad

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts, worst newspaper, worst people, worst personalities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments