The Worst of Perth

Lovely finds from Jordache at Cigarettejeans. Jordache says

These are incredibly TWOP. They could have been produced by Satan himself. I think the first one might be David Bowie?

Welcome to Weekend Worstoff 5. Jimbo sent this excellent guest worst from Bali. Ice Cold Piss.

Would have made a far better slogan for this Swan Lager Tray I found recently. Ice Cold Piss, Australia’s international passport to drinking pleasure.

The traditional ad from The West personals. Russian Asian hands? I can’t see a comma sorting this one out. The Asian hand gives while the Russian hand takes away?

And The Bedford Crackpot Fraternity sent in this delightful montage documenting the hair of Alannah Mctiernan. I might not have run it if she had bothered to reply to my email asking for a shot of the sniffer chair.

I have also added the answers to the location of The 8 arses of WA sculpture.

The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them towards a Barina Berlina.

It’s no good, we can still see it’s a Holden. Been a while since we’ve had a carpet. Baby leopard. Good choice.

I should have had more faith in TWOP readers. Discussing an idiotic exchange between Troy Buswell and The National’s Grant Woodhams in Parliament, I began musing on what could have happened to the seemingly slightly lefty Mr Woodhams to turn him down the path to being a National Party member. I vaguely remembered that I saw a photo of him wearing a shirt with a Bundy bottle bong on it, but despaired of finding it. Minutes later David “Rottobloggo, & Fucking Outrage” Cohen found the shot from the West in 1988.

Now we know what rotted Grants brain to the extent of becoming a member of Teh Nationals. Bundy and Bongs. Extreme kudos to DC.

Mr Woodhams now.

Creamed Crab would seem so very wrong if it wasn’t brought to you by ABBA. Creamed Crab by Bucks Fizz just wouldn’t sound appetising. The serving sugestion is to squeeze it out like a pallid dog turd. Thanks to Ljuke for snapping this at IKEA. Do you have to reassemble the crab yourself at home?

Since it’s still Troy Buswell week, I was very pleased that Rich sent in this excellent snippet from Hansard featuring Troy and the rather odd Grant Woodhams.

Now some may remember Grant Woodhams as an ABC weather reporter in the 1980’s. I also worked with him a couple of times as a video presenter. I also seem to remember a picture of him jogging wearing a tshirt with a picture of a Bundy bottle fashioned into a bong, on the front page of the west in the mid 1980’s. I don’t think even Frank could track down that one. So it was quite strange that he ended up being elected as a sort of wild-eyed National Party member for Greenough, looking like he might have a rack of Safari Suits in the wardrobe. And why is Troy heckling him. Aren’t they sort of the same side. Sort of?

Four sculptural back doors you already know, and four new ones. I doubt anyone can identify the location of them all. Would take a real crack addict. All arse photos by The Lazy Aussie except for Skink’s “front bottom”.

1..? 2..?

3..? 4 - Maylands Arse scratcher

5 - Front Bottom 6 - Arse and boozie, Gomboc via Perth Station

7..? 8 - Wanneroo roundabout

Answers. 1 is as correctly identified as The DNA MAn at Curtin Uni. 2 is in Sienna’s Restaurant in Leederville. 3 is at Gomboc Gallery, and 7 is in Bunbury.

A combination of Midland and public art. That’s got to be worth a look. Unfortunately, he’s not really checking out her uh tank, which would have made it more interesting. He’s doing his shoelaces up. And maybe that’s a gut, and not a rack.

A couple of different approaches to dealing with old vans. Which do you prefer? Fitting a weapons system, or letting them return to the soil naturally? Yes those are rocket launchers - and machine guns. The only extra it doesn’t seem to have is a yellow sticker.

Welcome to Weekend Worstoff 4. Was a great worst week. David Cohen dominating the airwaves, Troy sniffin, The West’s “Found” story refound, and Sunday Times journos under the gun.

Meanwhile, Lisa “She-Ra” Scaffidi and Allannah “Tsarina” McTiernan debate the Government  plans for the foreshore.

Dan exposes the use of cross dressing to lure students to study finance at UWA. Jeez, isn’t that Tod Johnson in a wig? Well spotted Dan.

And skink gives you an idea of the actual size of my Geoff Gallop sculpture.

And now I know this isn’t Perth, but I thought I’d show my latest tshirt design.

Have a good weekend.