My left nurry

A few months ago I posted about the Yagan statue which has famously lost its head a couple of times. I believed it had been fenced off, but someone pointed out that you could still get to it.  So I took the long trek out to the statue on Heirisson Island through mosquito and kangaroo infested swamps, and yes they can be seen. Perhaps some sort of cravat is called for.  Far more interesting though is the fact that someone seems to have tried to remove his left testicle with an angle grinder. This wasn’t in the news. Or is it artistic licence to try to make his willy look bigger?

unkindest cutyaganneck
unkindest cut
Posted in worst art, worst public art, worst sculpture | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Special Avocados

Back to a classic, honest, down to earth Perth Worst from first time contributor Perthguy. Well I’m not sure if honest is quite right, and yet..?  Seen at Shopping centre at Altone Park – Beechboro.

This shop seems to be confident, perhaps with reason, that the citizens of Beechboro won’t be able to make the computational leap between special and zero. It’s hard not to admire such a bold ploy. Expect savings of  minus $1 to follow. See how long before Beechborians catch on. I was going to also question the spelling ability, but this apparently incorrect usage is almost widespread enough to be acceptable . A saving of zero cents however, a little harder to take.

Investment opportunity

Investment opportunity

Posted in worst advertising | Tagged , | 25 Comments

Throw in urine, faeces and semen…

Throw in urine, faeces and semen and you’ve sold me guys. The advertising whiz who suggested this needs to be taken outside for a quiet word. When selling food products, don’t suggest that it may have bodily fluids in it. Even as a joke.  On the other hand, the beer at Mac’s Brewery Wellington is much better than that swill Speights they drink over there.
what do they teach at ad school?

what do they teach at ad school?

And this cannot stand. Why on earth would you put the NZ flag next to the word English? Surely the Union Jack would have been the way to go? Is NZ a patois? A creole? Whatever it is, I think it is stretching things a little far here. Totally outrageous Bank of NZ screen.
or patois

or patois

Posted in *Worst of New Zealand, worst advertising, worst sign | Tagged , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Perth Now? I don’t think so.

OK. I’m back from The Land of the Long White Clown, with a gigabyte of New Zealand Worst in the camera still to throw onto the pile, along with all the wonderful Western Australian & world Worsts you’ve been sending while I was away. Sometimes the amount of excellent original material I have in waiting depresses me.

Normally after a holiday and a conference, you could expect The Lazy Aussie to be in a mellow mood, with a delightfully whimsical post or two. Unfortunately flying with Qantas will dispel the mellowest of moods. To compound that, I was once again consuming Perth media. I was chilled with the suggestion that Paul Murray could make a comeback as West editor when Armstrong goes. I was assuming  Murray would immediately get the sack! But since reinventing himself as Australia’s worst writer, perhaps Teh Paul really is in contention? Do none of my media readers have Kerry Stokes’ email address? I would really like to personally make the case “Sack Murray first, Armstrong second.” I have not been able to obtain that address.

Regarding the media, I really have to apologise. For some reason I’ve never, (I don’t think) had a post about Perth Now, the Sunday Times online venture. Why? Is it because I thought my constant slagging off of The West, the stream of original material and insouciant writing style might tempt them to pay me to write for them? Maybe.  I can’t remember, although I do have a dim memory of writing to ed Allen Newton  suggesting it, without getting a reply.  Perhaps I dreamed it. In any case I’m very glad I didn’t get a gig in the cobweb covered mausoleum that is Perth Now blogs.

Of the six “bloggers”, Nova Nat’s Bitches & Pieces is the only one that’s had a post in the last week. Most have been moribund for months. Why do big media organisations so tragically fail to get blogging? Don’t their advertisers complain? Why would Perth Now editor Newton tolerate such a disaster? Because he’s writing one of the blogs himself. And of course, not a peep out of him for more than a month. If the editor doesn’t understand it, why should the other contributors, and why should the readers?

Quirky my backside

Quirky my backside

His last post early November is simply a  list of of requirements given to his builder for his new home. Really, a list. How could this be described as quirky? Comments you ask? Zero. Reminds me a little of Paul “cut & paste” Murray. Expect a new post sometime in February with a list of shopping his wife might buy. Allen, do it properly or pull the pin and erase the link. And by the way, glasses with a string?

And then there’s Alex Wain’s World, where Alex Wain from MySpace Australia shares the highlights that matter to West Australians from cultural juggernaut MySpace.

Wain Mansion

Wain Mansion

Myspace is soooooooo old. Even facebook its semi replacement is old news. I didn’t even know there still was a Myspace. Perhaps to fit in with the outdated topic, Wain the cultural juggernaut hasn’t posted since September, and then on Britney Spears. His previous post a MONTH before that was on old age. Terrible.

And then our old friend Barra, who gets much more traction on this blog than he does at Perth Now. I’ve got a soft spot for old Barra. He seems a decent enough fellow, and it was a little unfortunate he couldn’t get to that graffiti calling him a fat wog cunt before I did, but his last post on Perth Now was August. Not August 2008, August 2007. His second newest post was talking about an upcoming game where Ben Cousins was playing. Perhaps Barra can politely ask to have himself removed from the blog list.

I am not an animal

I am not an animal

An finally film reviewer Shannon Harvey, who’s latest post is on an Indiana Jones movie. Now being Perth Now, you might expect it to be the first movie, but it’s actually the latest. But that was still in May.

Potempkin steps shocker!

Potempkin steps shocker!

It really is sad that Perth Now seems to not get its own blogs, but leaves up the links so you can see how pathetic they are.

Maybe some more New Zealand Worst tomorrow.

Posted in worst of perth | Tagged , , , , , , | 33 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 34

Yes WW’off is late. Blame qantas, delayed flights etc. What is the correct description for Qantas these days? Is it ramshackle or is it cochamamie? Jeez they just get crappier every day. If the only value an airline has is that it hasn’t crashed and killed anyone yet, that’s not enough in my opinion. “We haven’t crashed yet, so we won’t have seat back screens, and we’ll make everybody watch only Mamma Mia from ten seats away. We haven’t crashed yet, so we’ll just leave your bags in Sydney. We haven’t crashed yet, so how about we take off whenever we feel like it and then look accusingly at you when you don’t make your connecting flight…”

Qantas. WORST. So here’s one from Cookster. A manly looking girl from China with a massive wine glass. As a toy. Yeah. I like that.

Slutty when drunk

Slutty when drunk

And one from Turf. Remember we had a post on the Pert sign? Well here’s the R with someone giving Turf the double finger from on it.

r

Posted in *Worst of china, weekend worstoff, worst sign, worst toy | Tagged , | 14 Comments

Casks

I came across this great display a couple of days ago. I better not say where. It takes me back though. Squeezing the last mouthful from 4 (and sometimes 5) litres of Paddlewheel.

casksAnd some less pleasant interior design can be acheived with a sphinx lamp.

sphinxlamp

Posted in worst interior design | Tagged , | 8 Comments

Enough with the crap bronzes already

Unfortunately for Perth, former Lord Mayor Peter Natrass was incredibly keen on the ultra banal bronzecasters the Smiths. Now Nattrass was as famous for his lack of artistic taste as he was for not having a reflection, and drinking blood from the necks of slumbering ratepayers. The result is that we seem to have literally hundreds of pieces from this truly awful pair. The latest, and hopefully last work from these artistic criminals is a very bad sundial next to the Belltower. Gawd.

Go to Adelaide please Smiths

Go to Adelaide please Smiths

There’s a massive Smiths infestation down near the casino. Here’s one of the pieces. Smiths please stop tormenting us with this bland shittiness. Go to adelaide.

smithwoman

Posted in worst public art, worst sculpture | Tagged , | 31 Comments

Mural my blowhole

Another from my recent Bunbarian sojourn. This one is so bad that Genevieve’s friend has had their name removed from the building. Possibly the artist. I know this is Bunbury, but steady on!

orcaorca2

Posted in worst art | Tagged , , , | 23 Comments

Stuffed & Burnt Worst on Tour New Zealand

What can I say? Perhaps words are not advised  here. Vic do you…No, I withdraw that.

That's a pouch right?

That's a pouch right?

And it seems incredible that someone would actuall buy such an obscenity, but taxidermy (like animal husbandry) seems to be a popular family hobby here. This in Pleasant Point, South Island New Zealand.

Being shot is also bad for you

Being shot is also bad for you

Posted in *Worst of New Zealand | Tagged , , | 32 Comments

Eric the abandoned

Superb find from Vic Demised. Eric the abandoned still sitting in Miss Maude’s carpark, Fitzgerald St. Is it the John Forrest/Club Capricorn Artist? Looks suspiciously like it.

Horned one

Horned one

Posted in worst art, worst sculpture | Tagged , | 20 Comments