Pert

Samantha sends in a great worst. The Perth sign on the river. Yes, Samantha, it does seem to be having some issues, although Pert may get more tourists than a sign saying Perth.

In my talk with She-Ra, she was keen to get a reaction to this sign. Well my reaction with the missing letter is, “I likes it.” Thanks Sam.

Perth home of teh pert

Perth home of teh pert

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst advertising, worst sign and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

50 Responses to Pert

  1. Grrr says:

    I have never seen that sign before in my life. When did it go up?

    Like

  2. Hugh Jass says:

    I have not seen it either. Where is it?

    Like

  3. Bento says:

    Perhaps this is a homage to one of the great worsts of Australian television history.

    Like

  4. skink says:

    please pass on to She-Ra my considered opinion regarding the Pert sign.

    it’s crap

    please stop putting cliched derivative ‘attractions’ on the foreshore, especially ones that don’t work and are diminutive versions of more famous signs, exhibition centres and ferris wheels in more exciting cities.

    what’s next, a quarter-sized Statue of Liberty modelled on Scaffidi?

    and also tell her to please stop getting her name in the papers for dodgy real-estate deals. People might get the impression that she only became mayor to further her own property interests.

    Like

  5. Vic Demised says:

    Bento -Just as well it wasn’t the first ‘O’ in the Count Down sign that malfunctioned. People might have thought Molly Meldrum was sick.

    Like

  6. Bill O"Slatter says:

    “People might get the impression that she only became mayor to further her own property interests.” Why else is she there ?

    Like

  7. Bento says:

    BillO – Surely having access to the excellent CoP merchandise is incentive enough?

    Like

  8. David Cohen says:

    I don’t mind it. At least we don’t live in Cuntan (near Chongqing), China.

    Like

  9. Ljuke says:

    It is (was?) up near the freeway on Riverside Drive. Couldn’t we be sinking this money into the Museum or Art Gallery? The Zoo even?

    Like

  10. Snuff says:

    Pert. Pert. Is there a more beautiful word in the English language, TLA ?

    Nevertheless, although I’m biased, I think they did this kind of thing better 40 years ago.

    Beer. Maybe.

    Like

  11. Rolly says:

    Snuff,
    Indeed, ‘Pert’ conjures up beautiful images in the mind of this aging perv.
    Images, unfortunately, which are rarely replicated in the over twentyfives and infrequently in those of lesser years.
    Trust me; I live close to a popular beach and regularly observe a display of blubber that would do justice to a school of right whales. Sadly, many of them of an age appropriate to an altogether different kind of school.
    Distinctly ‘un-pert’.

    Like

  12. Tigs says:

    There’s a similar sign at Perth domestic airport. I believe it says “Welcome to Pert “.

    Like

  13. Rolly says:

    TLA,
    whatever happened to the numbering of the comments?

    And yes, Snuff, I used to enjoy the brewery lights as viewed from the freeway heading North after a wearisome evening shift.
    More than half way home.

    Like

  14. Mango says:

    Funnily enough, I remember the P was installed last. So maybe it’s being taken down in reverse? Why is it still up there anyway?

    Like

  15. Vic Demised says:

    Rolly @ whichever – careful with the sexually-oriented comments; you might get derided as (another) resident satyr.

    Snuff @ another -the Swan Brewery’s ocean liner was such a magical sight for a generation of Perth kids. I recall in 1970 they switched it to an outline of Cook’s Endeavour, to mark his Bicentennial. What irony that Bondy bought the company and then built an Endeavour replica. Perhaps he was inspired too.

    Like

  16. Snuff says:

    Indeed, Vic. I still have an irrational abiding fondness for it, and I seem to recall it would alternate with this one.

    Speaking of Alan, here’s the KA6, which I thankfully never saw.

    Like

  17. BCF says:

    Ljuke thats your best Avatar yet! Is it a Movember thing?

    Like

  18. Numbering has been removed, I don’t know why. You can still reference or link to a comment with the date on the comment.

    Like

  19. poor lisa says:

    Vic -a bit nigel tufnel, it”s not ‘sexually oriented’ content, it’s let’s not mince words ‘sexist’ content.

    Rolly you’re conjuring mental images of yourself looking hot in funkitrunks as you check out the lack of pert at a local beach.

    If the sight of ordinary women enjoying a day at the beach offends you (you might not be aware, so I’ll tell you, that they have not ventured out in their bathers with the aim of pleasing ageing pervy eyes), you could just stay home and look at plastic tits online. Now THEY are there to please wankers.

    Yes, the sign is shit too.

    Like

  20. poor lisa says:

    Nah just rolly. I’m locking up my daughter instead of taking her to hte beach this summer.

    Millie’s in a bad mood today.

    Like

  21. Rolly says:

    My comments, dear poor lisa, were not gender specific. Neither is the adjective “pert”. You can make what you like of that.
    Better though if you do not display your inverse sexism on a site intended to be as much satirical as it is philosophical.
    It spoils the fun.
    Incidentally, I too am carrying excess fat, though not a lot above shoulder height.

    Like

  22. Rolly says:

    My comments, dear poor lisa, were not gender specific; neither is the adjective “pert”. You can make what you like of that.
    I might be preferable if you did not flaunt your inverse sexism on a site intended to be satirical as well as philosophical. It lowers the tone as well as spoiling the fun.
    Incidentally, I too am carrying excess fat, though not a lot above shoulder height.

    Like

  23. Rolly says:

    Sorry for the double post TLA, please delete either one.

    Like

  24. Bento says:

    I’ve never heard ‘pert’ used in reference to moobs.

    Like

  25. skink says:

    Perth is famous this morning!

    we should take another letter off the sign to read “PET” in honour of the two-faced cat born today:

    http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/twofaced-kitten-born-in-perth–a-hrefhttpwwwsmhcomauphotogallery200703071173166769017html-bphotosb/2008/11/20/1226770635862.html

    it should come as no surprise.

    Perth has already produced Murray, Sattler, NCB and Burke.

    we produce more two-faced bastards than any other city

    Like

  26. poor lisa says:

    If ‘pert’ is not idiomatically gender-specific Millie will eat her fez.

    Millie has never heard the adjective ‘pert’ applied to any item of male anatomy. Please alert Millie to any such common usage anywhere and she’ll gladly back down from her assertion that rolly was sounding like a lecherous perve affronted by displays of limpid female flesh.

    As for tired epithets such as ‘inverse sexism’ applied to valid defences against apparent misogyny and sexism – yaaawwwn. In 25 years of being called a feminist whenever I make statements that distinguish me from a doormat, (see Rebecca West for the actual quote), I haven’t heard that one before.

    As far as satirical, it might be preferable if you check the avatar & found out who Millie Tant is rolly. Sorry everyone to have to flag the satire.

    ‘There are too many fat people at my beach’…. ok so we’re calling that philosophical…. I just didn’t know….

    Hey just to completely change the subject, nobody’s talked about Andre Reiux and how he couldn’t erect his turrets inside Subi Oval….

    Like

  27. poor lisa says:

    Aar bento said it more succinctly.

    Like

  28. Rolly says:

    Dear poor liza, methinks your read too much into what is specifically *not* said.
    As for ‘common usage’ please do not infer that I am less than unique, especially as I always found Viz to be tired, hackneyed and tiresomely predictable despite its popularity amongst the cringe dwellers.
    And a “tired epithet” that “In 25 years of being called a feminist whenever I make statements that distinguish me from a doormat, (see Rebecca West for the actual quote), I haven’t heard that one before.” is an indication of a certain degree of aural deficiency, is it not.
    However the use of “idiomatic”, sounding like” and “apparent” do indicate a degree of perceptual bias along the lines of beauty being in the eye of the beholder.

    Like

  29. Rolly says:

    Re. the two faced kitten: A nice mascot for the radical feminists ;)

    Like

  30. skink says:

    is there a veiled reference to Mrs Slocum in that last comment, Rolly?

    Like

  31. Rolly says:

    Nah. It’s more personal than that. I traveled 10,000 miles to escape a long lineage of ball-breaking belligerent British battleaxes 8O>

    Like

  32. Orbea says:

    Viz isn’t as funny as it used to be, can I have my ten pounds?

    Like

  33. Bento says:

    Rolly, are you really Max Kaye?

    Like

  34. Rolly says:

    Dear poor lisa, that “Millie has never heard the adjective ‘pert’ applied to any item of male anatomy.”, is most likely because she hasn’t had much to do with a. British boarding schools for boys, b. religious Brotherhoods nor c. the prevailing scourge of paedophilia (an abhorrent misnomer) on the internet.
    She probably hasn’t heard of “budgie-smugglers” either.

    Like

  35. Rolly says:

    No, Bento, not Max Kaye. Not even a ‘ten pound tourist’.
    The Commonwealth of Australia, in it’s great wisdom, paid me to venture to these blessed shores.

    Like

  36. Maul Putty says:

    I like to say at the outset and with no offset that I know about the department of hurt feelings and pain, boys and girls, do I ever as I observe it in others and myself. Not that you care but I have to cover my pain with extra donuts. Now to the two matters at hand, firstly the vexed question of the philosophy of the emancipation of women is raised at first blush I always refer to Emily Pankhurst. And without further deduction, as most of you know, it was the ancient philosophers, satirists and scholars, and as Rolly points out, who sorted all of these questions out. QED Ceteris paribus Anyway to more immediate matters; whilst out walking the little dog Muttsie on the normally pedestrian beaten track I came across a personage engaged in a heinous act apparently inflamed by the acreages of blubberage displayed at Swanbourne. Whether it was the moobies or boobies, as Bento points out, which caused the pert inflammation was a technical question I was not going to enter into but suffice it to say that Muttsie performed an extraordinary featage of surgery to remove the offending member whose owner is now needless to say , orally deficient.
    Ex dolo malo non oritur actio max kaius

    Like

  37. helenalice says:

    I saw this sign go up in time for the air race, and catching a bit of the tv footage I saw it obscured the convention center rather nicely. I assumed that was its purpose, to hide our shame from the international public…. I guess its still hiding one worst with another, but I think its the lesser of two evils…

    Like

  38. Pingback: Weekend Worstoff 34 « The Worst of Perth

  39. Rolly says:

    The question remains:
    Why a sign to advise folks on the water and on the Southern shores of the mucky Swan that before them they behold the unfair city of Perth.
    Fer crissake it’s the only place within thousands of kilometers with more than the occasional tall building and a with sprawl of quaint cottages covering enough fertile land to feed half of Africa !
    Best spend that sort of money on adequate and suitably positioned street signage to assist the stranger to find his/her way around by car without taking the extreme risk of being shunted from behind by some impatient local hoon who, knowing by repeated experience which road leads to where, expects that everyone from every part of the world should instinctively be able to negotiate his/her tribal territory.
    New Bastards.(©TheLazyAussie2008)

    Like

  40. I think it was for international tv cameras showing air race to know we have teh pert here.

    Like

  41. Frank Calabrese says:

    Speaking of Max Kay, it seems that the New Lord Mayor has announced a new policy on Buskers which includes auditions, similar to what Max did when he was on Council.

    Full Report over at Larvatus Prodeo

    http://larvatusprodeo.net/2008/12/25/melbourne-no-bad-buskers-allowed/

    Like

  42. Bento says:

    It seems a little over the top, Frank, but if it rids Hay Street of that tedious human statue, I’m all for She-Ra’s culture police.

    Like

  43. Frank Calabrese says:

    I should add that it was the MELBOURNE Lord Mayor who introduced the auditions, not She-Ra :-)

    Perth already has the auditioned permit system.

    Like

  44. Bento says:

    Wait – you mean the human statue PASSED an audition???

    That’s what we get for leaving Max Kaye in charge of writing the regulations to define ‘talent’.

    Like

  45. Frank Calabrese says:

    And speaking of The Big Wheel.

    Picture of it’s erection was in the dead tree version.

    http://www.thewest.com.au/default.aspx?MenuID=77&ContentID=114907

    Like

  46. Bento says:

    Why the hell is this the most active post? I shudder to think what sort of Woogle searches lead people here.

    Like

  47. Normal perth sluts et al. Only interesting searches today were, house has satan’s head on the front door
    swingers mandurah

    Like

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