Perth Now? I don’t think so.

OK. I’m back from The Land of the Long White Clown, with a gigabyte of New Zealand Worst in the camera still to throw onto the pile, along with all the wonderful Western Australian & world Worsts you’ve been sending while I was away. Sometimes the amount of excellent original material I have in waiting depresses me.

Normally after a holiday and a conference, you could expect The Lazy Aussie to be in a mellow mood, with a delightfully whimsical post or two. Unfortunately flying with Qantas will dispel the mellowest of moods. To compound that, I was once again consuming Perth media. I was chilled with the suggestion that Paul Murray could make a comeback as West editor when Armstrong goes. I was assuming  Murray would immediately get the sack! But since reinventing himself as Australia’s worst writer, perhaps Teh Paul really is in contention? Do none of my media readers have Kerry Stokes’ email address? I would really like to personally make the case “Sack Murray first, Armstrong second.” I have not been able to obtain that address.

Regarding the media, I really have to apologise. For some reason I’ve never, (I don’t think) had a post about Perth Now, the Sunday Times online venture. Why? Is it because I thought my constant slagging off of The West, the stream of original material and insouciant writing style might tempt them to pay me to write for them? Maybe.  I can’t remember, although I do have a dim memory of writing to ed Allen Newton  suggesting it, without getting a reply.  Perhaps I dreamed it. In any case I’m very glad I didn’t get a gig in the cobweb covered mausoleum that is Perth Now blogs.

Of the six “bloggers”, Nova Nat’s Bitches & Pieces is the only one that’s had a post in the last week. Most have been moribund for months. Why do big media organisations so tragically fail to get blogging? Don’t their advertisers complain? Why would Perth Now editor Newton tolerate such a disaster? Because he’s writing one of the blogs himself. And of course, not a peep out of him for more than a month. If the editor doesn’t understand it, why should the other contributors, and why should the readers?

Quirky my backside

Quirky my backside

His last post early November is simply a  list of of requirements given to his builder for his new home. Really, a list. How could this be described as quirky? Comments you ask? Zero. Reminds me a little of Paul “cut & paste” Murray. Expect a new post sometime in February with a list of shopping his wife might buy. Allen, do it properly or pull the pin and erase the link. And by the way, glasses with a string?

And then there’s Alex Wain’s World, where Alex Wain from MySpace Australia shares the highlights that matter to West Australians from cultural juggernaut MySpace.

Wain Mansion

Wain Mansion

Myspace is soooooooo old. Even facebook its semi replacement is old news. I didn’t even know there still was a Myspace. Perhaps to fit in with the outdated topic, Wain the cultural juggernaut hasn’t posted since September, and then on Britney Spears. His previous post a MONTH before that was on old age. Terrible.

And then our old friend Barra, who gets much more traction on this blog than he does at Perth Now. I’ve got a soft spot for old Barra. He seems a decent enough fellow, and it was a little unfortunate he couldn’t get to that graffiti calling him a fat wog cunt before I did, but his last post on Perth Now was August. Not August 2008, August 2007. His second newest post was talking about an upcoming game where Ben Cousins was playing. Perhaps Barra can politely ask to have himself removed from the blog list.

I am not an animal

I am not an animal

An finally film reviewer Shannon Harvey, who’s latest post is on an Indiana Jones movie. Now being Perth Now, you might expect it to be the first movie, but it’s actually the latest. But that was still in May.

Potempkin steps shocker!

Potempkin steps shocker!

It really is sad that Perth Now seems to not get its own blogs, but leaves up the links so you can see how pathetic they are.

Maybe some more New Zealand Worst tomorrow.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst of perth and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Perth Now? I don’t think so.

  1. Frank Calabrese says:

    Speaking of Barra, I saw him as one of the “Three Wise Men” on the Camels in today’s Pagent replay, the other 2 being Ray Kukas and the failed candidate for Morley Reece Whitby.

    and speaking of Perth Now, I’m really amazed at the rampant Racism and general Redneckery – you’d think the all the posters are LIberal Party Staffers.

    Like

  2. Well don’t worry, in their blogs section, there are virtually no posters, or commenters.

    Like

  3. Frank Calabrese says:

    I just knew people would complain about the Pagaent being held during the day.

    http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/comments/0,21590,24763600-2761,00.html

    Like

  4. Perhaps seeing Barra in harsh daylight is a little too much.

    Like

  5. Frank Calabrese says:

    Perhaps seeing Barra in harsh daylight is a little too much.

    The whole thing looked even tackier than with lights – hardly any floats, more multicultural groups, but no Hare Krishnas OR the scicilian club with their Horse and Cart.

    And the route looked like a walk around the block with no buildings (at least on the TV coverage – plenty of shots of the Hyatt though.

    I actually went twice, once in 1973 or 74 in the heat, and the second time was in 1979 when I was staying briefly at Rocky Bay and we got VIP positions on the back of a semi trailer outside the Entertainment Centre and Graham Kennedy was the Pagaent King.

    Like

  6. Kenedy would have been good as King.

    Like

  7. Frank Calabrese says:

    Kenedy would have been good as King.

    He was really getting into the spirit of it cracking jokes over the PA.

    And I note that Syd Plummer was Channelling Santa again this year :-)

    Like

  8. margeryx says:

    Pageants are so last century.

    Like

  9. Rolly says:

    No comment other than:
    A pagan Winter Solstice festival in the middle of Summer?
    How fucking stupid!
    It’s just one of the many things that convince me that human society is essentially mindless.
    Baaa!

    Like

    • pagan guy says:

      Pagan’s orginiated in the northern hemisphere. The winter solstice (21 dec) for the northern hemisphere is also the summer solstice here. It is celebrated as the start of the season, a time to come together and share and give. It was stolen from the Pagans during the crusades by the Catholics, now it is a mainstream event commonly known as Christmas – but held 4 days later.

      We celebrate the solstice here in Australia too. But don’t worry, you don’t have to attend. There is no room for ignorant redneck’s at pagan events.

      That is what xmas is for.

      Human society is mindless with it’s over indulgence in everything. Greed. Consumerism. Hey, that’s what xmas is all about eh?

      You won’t find many pagans wasting all their money on a farce of a holiday such as xmas. But i bet you did, didn’t you Rolly.
      We prefer to spend it celebrating the beginning (or end) of the season.

      Baaaaah back to you, go join the rest of the sheep.

      Like

      • Rolly says:

        Total crap, pg.
        You’ve obviously got some kind of problem with your concentration induced, at a guess, by overindulgence in smoked herring of maybe even occy.
        You jumped to a false conclusion based on your established prejudices, having not understood what I had actually written.
        Go back to your troll cave while I get on with living in my world of actuality.

        Like

      • Snuff says:

        “Pagan’s” what “orginiated (sic) in the northern hemisphere.” ?

        “There is no room for ignorant redneck’s” what “at pagan events.” ?

        “Human society is mindless with it’s over indulgence in everything.”

        Perhaps not everything, pagan guy. But apostrophes ? Definitely.

        Like

  10. Snuff says:

    Welcome home, TLA. Can’t say I’ve ever ventured to Perth Now, and I’m somewhat prone to venturing. It sure looks like I haven’t missed much. Perhaps they could just solve the problem by calling it Perth Then ?

    Like

  11. Frank Calabrese says:

    Ahh, how the mighty have fallen, from one of Carps “Rising Stars” to one of the 3 Wise Men :-)

    Like

  12. Grrr says:

    Wain’s World
    Wain’s World
    Party time….
    Excellent.

    (I can’t be the only one, can I?)

    I looked, it’s not even Perth specific? (I looked at his whimsical take on old age).

    That’s a fucking outrage! I demand my local media be parochial and introspective! I also demand images of slain dolphins – their bloodied corpses littering Cable Beach!

    And I demand all this over my bowl of cereal so I can write outraged missives to whoever the editor of The West is today (all while attempting to stomach columns by Gerard Henderson and Ross Gittens – both of whom are far more offensive that Mr Murray’s outpourings).

    Like

  13. Lazy Aussie says:

    Frank, you mean “How the lowly have fallen.” surely?

    Like

  14. Rolly says:

    Grrr,
    Perhaps you could start a research topic on whether reading the Worst actually is detrimental to your health.
    Focus specifically on blood pressure and stomach ulcers.

    Like

  15. Frank Calabrese says:

    Ahh, Perth When “Readers” are blaming our She-Ra for the Crappy daytime pagaent.

    I am sorry but the city of perth is ruining xmas!! The pageant should be at night, its all about the lights and and tinsel and characters not about arts and farts (we have the lame northbridge festival for that) even the decorations in the city are too plain…Saturday nights 8:30 is not that bad most people dont work sundays so it shouldnt be a problem….bring back the colours of xmas and make it feel like xmas again….City of perth you are a disgrace and channel 7 shame on you!!

    Posted by: Sam of Perth 2:48pm today
    Comment 72 of 72

    http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/comments/0,21590,24763600-2761,00.html

    Like

  16. Paul Nurry says:

    And at first blush, why is Allen Newton also playing at imitating I Paul Nurry? Where did he get that bumb numbing droning style from? At first blush from me. Building list? At first blush I say bollocks. I would have cut and pasted the list from someone else.

    Like

  17. Frank Calabrese says:

    Oh the double standards by Perth Then “Commenters” over the jailing of TGRoy Mercanti, compared to the KIler of Bill Rowe.

    http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/comments/0,21590,24774142-948,00.html

    Like

  18. David Cohen says:

    Hmmm. Are you ‘Tiny Pinder of WA’, Frank?

    Like

  19. Rolly says:

    Frank,
    I will absolutely NOT open a link to any newspaper for fear of corrupting my delicate state of mind.
    No matter what the “New Bastards”(©2008TLA-Used with permission. E-e-r -well he hasn’t complained so far!) have written.
    No matter how nicely you suggest that I do.
    I want to be a “Big Shot” newspaper hack like Mr Nurry so I mustn’t confuse myself with facts, must I ?

    PS Today’s diatribes really are making up for the subdued dose of Mondayitis shown yesterday; don’t you think?

    Like

  20. Frank Calabrese says:

    Hmmm. Are you ‘Tiny Pinder of WA’, Frank?

    Nope never posted on those “Forums and never will they are the print and online version of Sattler’s Lynch mob.

    Like

  21. BIll O'Slatter says:

    Re: Mr Mercanti. couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke , tho shoulda been done for his haircut.

    Like

  22. Frank Calabrese says:

    I’ve just been looking at the Bus Australia Forum, and even they are scathing of the daytime pagaent, especially the lack of exrtra busses and trains put on for the event.

    http://www.busaustralia.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=36202&sid=e6f009c017f8281423f59423919de8e4

    http://www.busaustralia.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=36713&sid=e6f009c017f8281423f59423919de8e4

    Like

  23. Now this is turning into a Christmas pageant post. Surely the pageant couldn’t have been as bad as the Perth now blogs section? The editor’s “Quirky” posts would trump Santa.

    Like

  24. Frank Calabrese says:

    Now this is turning into a Christmas pageant post. Surely the pageant couldn’t have been as bad as the Perth now blogs section?

    I watched the TV replay that night (for educational purposes) and it was indeed a shocker, with Paula Voce & Mark Gibson being thrown by a change in the running order, they were commentating on an item which wasn’t on screen, and it was left to Keith Geary to interview She-Ra who cut the ribbon without the assistance of Santa, who was MIA.

    Here are two examples.

    http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=PsLdTcUcpn8

    and this bit is truely cringeworthy.

    http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=ooqKhin6czc&feature=related

    Like

  25. That post was just excellent. Still laughing at ‘Potemkin Steps Shocker’. Obviously they’re not blogging because they’ve thrown out the script. Very quirky of them.

    Like

  26. Frank Calabrese says:

    This is the No 1 Story on TWAT :-)

    Man caught with penis in pasta jar … near Nobbys Beach

    http://www.watoday.com.au/national/man-caught-with-penis-in-pasta-jar–near-nobbys-beach-20081120-6crq.html

    Buon Natale a Tutti :-)

    Like

  27. james says:

    They’ve added two new blogs now, make your own mind up but the boyblog is especially bad

    http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/blogs/

    Like

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