The Worst of Perth

It’s 1973 OK…

Posted on January 15, 2008 by AHC McDonald

…with wine across old W.A.

Ah, 1973. Some will remember back to those simpler times, when wine drinking was the preserve of the homosexual, Gough was in his heaven, and all was Al Grassby with the world. Love the logo, but the stencil font was perhaps an attempt to cast wine drinking in a more manly light. The same sort of font you might stencil a wool bale with. (or brand a homosexual with for that matter.) This red is so dry, only half the bottle remains.

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Posted in worst food, worst graphic design, worst logo, worst of perth | Tagged 1973, gough whitlam, homosexual, red wine, wine, worst font, worst graphic design, worst logo | 24 Comments

Bedpanned

Posted on January 14, 2008 by AHC McDonald

In the 1980’s, there used to be many businesses – carpet and furniture floggers mostly, who used to add a christian fish to their signs. Now it seems to be down to this last couple of botherers on Great Eastern Highway Midland. The practice makes me shudder with revulsion. To compound the signage horror, there has also been a highly ill advised addition of photographs. Get thee behind me Jesus freak bed sellers, and get yourself a secular graphic designer – preferably an atheist. There should be a separation of powers between Church and Bed.

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And elsewhere in Old Town Midland

I have been hearing so much about the redevelopment of central Midland, that I thought I may have missed my chance to capture some good Worst. I hadn’t. It was a tatty shithole with the ambiance of a drunken knife fight. Loved the station/Centrepoint precinct. Uggh. Expect posts from that area over the next few weeks.

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Posted in worst advertising, worst shop design, worst sign | Tagged beds plus midland, centrepoint, christian fish, fish symbol, midland, midland station, worst advertising, worst graphic design | 86 Comments

Something Rotten in The State of Rottnest

Posted on January 13, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Another excellent submission from David Cohen of Rottobloggo. You’re becoming TWOP’s West Bank correspondent David. When The Lazy Aussie was a young Rotto visitor, there was a dark and seedy amusement centre behind the latticed milk bar, with worn pool tables, broken pinballs and what is now called fuse-ball. Later Galaxians was the game to play. Now visitors have Brett “Jobby” Heady’s Family Fun Park. Somehow Rottnest Worst is different to Perth’s. The tatty and the substandard are exactly right for the place, indulged with a smile and permanently linked to the nostalgia of an endless summer. David says…

Torn felt. Leaf and twig obstacles. Little mounds of quokka shit. The mini golf course at Brett Heady’s Family Fun Park on Rottnest has all this and more for the discerning putt-putt player. There are even temporary water obstacles after a downpour. The course is the most dilapidated feature of BHFFP, putting the worn air hockey game in the shade. It’s one of the worst features of Rotto, but that is also part of its charm.

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Posted in worst of perth | Tagged brett heady, quokkas, rottnest, rottnest island | 7 Comments

Rainblow

Posted on January 12, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Beware the amateur signwriter. If one approaches you, and you don’t have a nail studded cricket bat, tell them you have already decided on microsoft clip-art. Is that lizard licking..? No, no, couldn’t be.

No seriously, beware of them. East Perth. Vehicle Loans.

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Posted in worst advertising, worst graphic design, worst sign | Tagged worst advertising, worst graphic design, worst sign | 44 Comments

Squeal like a Pig

Posted on January 11, 2008 by AHC McDonald

New guest submitter Nettie lives very close to Australia’s ugliest church, the Purple Jesus Monster in Eden Hill. I don’t know whether to be surprised that it’s almost next to The Rangeview Tavern. Nettie writes…

Behold The Rangeview Tavern, Eden Hill. You have to wonder how many wedding bookings they get there. It’s not exactly the most romantic location for the big day. It’s not even 200m from me but if I need a bottle shop I won’t go there for fear of being raped and pillaged.

Nettie, rape and pillage IS an Eden Hill wedding. The bride and groom retire to the Wedding Suite, (the back of that Gemini), while the guests stand round chanting “In, out, in, out!” Why is sporting crossed out?

Posted in worst pub/hotel/design | Tagged eden, eden hill, gemini, worst pub/hotel design | 46 Comments

Cold Tinnie

Posted on January 10, 2008 by AHC McDonald

I have had at least 5 nominations for this Curtin University object. Two questions come up when people see it for the first time. 1 “What is it?” And 2, “What’s that shit all over it?”

What it is, is the chilled water tank for air conditioners on campus. The shit all over it is an attempt to turn it into a work of art. There have been I think, boasts of it being the largest artwork in The southern hemisphere or something, (although I cannot believe that Paraguay doesn’t have bigger,) but I think that sounds suspiciously like “Never mind the quality, feel the width”. I would prefer it unadorned myself. Would look more impressive.

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Posted in worst art, worst public art, worst sculpture | Tagged air conditioners, curtin university, worst artwork, worst sculpture | 29 Comments

In The Heat of The Day

Posted on January 9, 2008 by AHC McDonald

I’ve got a few guest submissions to get through this week. David Cohen of RottoBloggo sweated through the Galleria in 40+ degrees, but in his torment remembered TWOP. Practice phone camera photojournalism in case he’s ever somewhere interesting. Like a movie queue in Darfur Galleria. David says…

Tension. Angst. Suspense. And this is before the movie even started! The queue to buy tickets at Greater Union at the Galleria in Morley seemed to stretch for miles. Hapless punters had escaped their houses – no doubt fearful of Western Power shutting off the air-con – and gone to the flicks in an attempt to stay cool. But it was all in vain. There was one person selling tickets for lots of films. The queue inched forward. The line to buy expensive beverages and popcorn was even longer. A Worst of Perth queue.

Posted in worst of perth | Tagged galleria movies, perth heat, queue | 7 Comments

Dircksey?

Posted on January 9, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Look, I’m as supportive of Edith Cowan as the next man, but finding out she was called Dircksey, makes me want to question whether she really was the first woman in parliament. Hey Dirksey, could you drop a new donk in the ute mate? A more manly name than Hendy Cowan too.

I used to hate that WA 150 logo, but these days I’m more sanguine. Sanguine like a fox.

Posted in worst graphic design, worst name | Tagged edith cowan, hendy cowan, worst name | 9 Comments

Two Fingered Salute

Posted on January 8, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Golden1 sent these shots that really take me back. This is San Leone, who is paraded around Kalamunda by the Italian catholic community in a ceremony that goes way back to – well, Italy. In the 1970’s he was imported (assumedly at massive cost), and installed in the tiny chapel at Mary’s Mount Primary School, much to the horror of non Italian types. (He did rather tend to dominate proceedings). Unfortunately the Italian craftsmen had not been appraised of the subtlety of Aussie hand gestures, and the sad eyed saint originally appeared to be giving an insouciant two fingered salute to the congregation. The whole thing had to be crated back to the motherland to have the digits “remastered” to what you can see now. San Leone can now be seen in the main catholic church in kalamunda, or once a year touring the streets. More power to him I say. At least it is some attempt to make Kalamunda interesting. Go for it man! I do think your original hand was superior though.

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Posted in worst sculpture | Tagged mary's mount, rude gestures, san leone, worst sculpture | 18 Comments

Clock Suckers

Posted on January 7, 2008 by AHC McDonald

People have different triggers which can send them into a gibbering rage. For some its’ the use or misuse of apostrophes’, but for others it’s public clocks which are stopped or wrong. If you are one of these, don’t go down Loftus Street West Leederville, near where the tunnel begins. One pole, 4 clocks, all wrong. Is handy though to City West Massage if clock stress gets too much for you.

Website

Posted in worst clock | Tagged clock suckers, worst clocks | 9 Comments

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The Worst of Perth

It’s 1973 OK…

Bedpanned

Something Rotten in The State of Rottnest

Rainblow

Squeal like a Pig

Cold Tinnie

In The Heat of The Day

Dircksey?

Two Fingered Salute

Clock Suckers

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