Mountin’ Mary

Worst School (Name)

We had a post a while ago on inappropriate school names and it was pointed out that The Worst of Perth editor’s own primary school might fall into the same category. So here is Mary’s Mount Primary School in Davies Road Gooseberry Hill, where the character of The lazy Aussie was formed. I still remember the nuns belting us with custom leather straps for whatever heinous crimes tiny little primary school children commit.


The Original Mounted Mary.


About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
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48 Responses to Mountin’ Mary

  1. dr pangloss says:

    i will prbably go to hell for this… but we used to refer to it iconoclastically as ‘mary’s mount of joseph’.

    the unopened flower in the photo is rather suggestive, isn’t it?


  2. lazyaussie says:

    After 25 years of photography I couldn’t really claim that the composition was accidental.


  3. Cimbali says:

    Passing on a comment from Cimbali Junior who spent some time at this school a couple of years ago – “Wasn’t Mary’s mount a donkey?”


  4. lazyaussie says:

    hung like a donkey.


  5. PatB says:

    Looking at the expression on that statue, I don’t think the unopened flower is “suggesting” anything at all.


  6. meccano101 says:

    I wish the ceramic koala and kookaburra statues were still there, they would definitely feature on W of P


  7. Jono says:

    St Munchins in Gosnells.
    Stupid stupid name.


  8. lazyaussie says:

    You jokin’ Jono? Really?


  9. Jono says:

    Dead serious. Worst school name ever I think.
    Actually worst school ever.


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  11. Pierra says:

    that was stolen wen i was in yr 1 and then then someone put it back in the other garden


  12. Cate says:

    Despite the name, it’s a lovely school and great community!!


  13. curious says:

    is the grotto still there? cos my memory of it would make it a great worst.

    i went there with tla, and can confirm that the many beatings administered by the nuns, particularly one sister leo, go a long way to explain this blog.


    • I think Sister Leo Carked it only recently. Strapping grade 4 primary school kids. Amazing. I’m not sure if grotto still extant. Don’t think so.


    • Bento says:

      You both went to Mary’s Mount?? Being a GHPS alum, I should hate youse cunts. I think I may have tagged the basketball backboard there, during the week of my teens where I fancied myself as the Banksy of the Darling Escarpment.


    • Cimbali says:

      Curious I had the chance to run over sister Leo a couple of years ago, she was staggering just a little too close to the edge of the road on her way to the bus stop outside St Emily’s – but in the end I couldn’t do it.

      By the way St Emily’s is up for sale this week it is apparently
      32 000sqm of land but I haven’t stopped to read the rest of the notice. Maybe a consortium of TWOP members could purchase it and run a cult out of the old nunnery.


      • curious says:

        ah, sister leo – do you remember how she made the girls stand on their chairs to strap the backs of our legs?

        i love st emily’s – i lived across the road for a few years and really enjoyed the view.


  14. Benxc says:

    I go to “Marys Mount” and it isn’t that bad.
    Its good it just in parts because they are renovating


  15. Genmen says:

    My kids go here (it’s a lovely school now – shame about the bad history I’ve read on your posts) My daughter says it gets its name because Mary built it and it’s on a mountain!


  16. HEY says:

    i am personally offended by some of your comments, i went to that school for 8 years. i just left last year and would already go back if i could. the overpriced high school i go to now was nothing compared to this school so just stop please


  17. curious says:

    hey, and others – apart from the name (which is funny) and some comments about a nun who taught there in the 1970s, we haven’t actually said anything about the school.
    it was a lovely school, i enjoyed going there, my nieces and nephews enjoyed it.

    but it has a very silly name.


  18. Cimbali says:

    we haven’t said anything about the school – but since you asked…
    I went there and it was uneventful – apart from Sister Leo. Sent my daughter there for three years because we moved around the corner and was seriously unimpressed with the educational standards. My daughter who is very bright spent most of the time marking other peoples spelling and they were very anti actually giving her anything challenging to do in case she thought she was too clever or something.
    The level of behaviour in the classrooms was atrocious and the language from the year 3 boys was extraordinary.
    When I made a complaint to the Principle about year four boys discussing F**king girls in front of me during a parent help session I was told that:
    “You can’t expect everyone to have the same values as you – I mean some parents allow their kids to watch the Simpsons.”

    HELLO what else is a Catholic School for but to have the same values?
    and the Simpsons!!! I have never heard Bart using the language I heard at MM

    This was four years ago and the pastoral care was seriously lacking and only dogma was given any importance.
    As long as you went to church it didn’t matter how you behaved in the class room.

    I can only hope that it has improved in the last few years.


  19. Sixshootin' daddy says:

    I am also an alumnus of this wonderful instution, and grew up on Davies Crescent. Happy times. Bloody good school- John Downey’s whiskey tan is a particularly fond memory.

    Any of you who made use of the BMX track in the gravel down the back owe me (and the other neighbourhood kids circa 1983) a lasting debt of gratitude


  20. Seamus says:

    Sounds like the standards have reduced to keep pace with the size of the school (grounds)…
    Was imprisoned there from 1961 to ’64…. when there were only 3 girls amongst the boys… and Sister Amelia wielded the lump of 2″ x 1″ pine to keep our souls out of hell, and our swimming pool was surrounded by huge veggie gardens…with a paddock below replete with a couple of milking cows.
    – Them were th’ days ! – Unpasturized milk, weevils in the weeties, slugs in the spuds and we had to do our own dishwashing & sweeping etc.

    – And the outside dunnies had a billion dollar view of Perth, when the highest building was Royal Perth Hospital.

    It was the only high building….

    PS, the current staff tell me that they’re having a “90th” year celebration next year. Would be great if some of the Nuns showed up! (*with* leather straps & 2×1 stick)


  21. cameron v says:

    i go to mary ‘s mount and it is the best school ever and it has the best name so get me a 10 dollars for saying my school is bad


  22. orbea says:

    expect more of these stories to come out


  23. Shenenden says:

    My dad helped rebuild it when we were there…..Made heaps of friends that I still keep in touch with……always tell my kids about my yr 4 teacher (can’t remember his name but I think he was Irish) and how he would make us do aerobics to Shutuppa your face……I must have been a good catholic girl because never did I think about the name in this way :P


  24. Mark says:

    I was at Mary’s Mount as a boarder from 1967 to 1969 and I can verify most of the things Seamus says, apart from the weevils. And Sister Amelia was still there during my time.

    As I understand it there were no more boarders at MM after 1969

    Weevils or not, the food was quite awful, and many of of the nuns were amazingly violent. Sometimes the kids were so stressed out they would throw up at the dining table. Maybe it was a throw back to the Irish Famine, but the nuns’ response was really over the top. They would make the little kid eat his own vomit, with repeated blows to the shoulder with a dustpan brush until it was all re-consumed. And when you are forced to witness such a thing, it’s a challenge to keep your own breakfast down!

    But there is always something positive to be derived from such an experience. Today I live in the 21st Century, but I have had a little glimpse at the Dark Ages.

    And some people wonder why I gave the Church ‘the flick’ at age 12!



  25. Anonymous says:

    This was my primary school from 1978-1984. I have wonderful memories of the place, the nuns and the teachers.


  26. Bob says:

    My brother and I were residents in the early 50*s. It was known then as Marys Mount Boys College Kalamunda and I must say that we copped a lot as we as well of a lot of others children of broken homes. We lived in the dorms and there were a fair lot of us. The war years had a terrible effect on families then and we were all pretty bad off. They hold Royal commissions on what we went through in those days. With all the various abuses the lot of us put up with my brother and I went on with our lives, did well , and, still went back to visit occasionally. Why you ask. Our elder brother who was not there used to come and visit and as was our want we did what he did.
    Now the swimming pool which was just above the gardens had believe it or not a PLUG to hold the water in attached to a chain (and the big thing was to say), I wonder what this chain is for. It was a well watered veggie patch, As previously stated by another on this site the view over Perth was to die for. The next time I get to Perth I am going back to the Mount. Bad memories as well as good aside we both did bloody well for ourselves lived good Christian Lives and would never put Heavy profanities in print. Or say them as the Nuns would have strapped the devil out of us.
    Yeah Mark it was bad at times .but we sucked it up and remember good bits


    • Rudy Hartmann says:

      Wondering if this site is still active, and if former residents like Bob still check it out. I went to Mary’s Mount Boys College in Kalamunda in the 50s and would love to reconnect with others who went there during that time, just to help me reconstruct my turbulent life (full of moving around a great deal) and help me fill in all the blanks and faded memories. Something tells me that perhaps I don’t want to know what happened there during those days, but I’m trying to do an autobiography and have lots of blanks to fill in. Thanks


  27. Anonymous says:

    I went here from 1978- 1984. It was a wonderful school!


  28. Kim says:

    I was at Mary,s Mount 1954 to 1958 The remnant of a broken home, At that time i was only 3years of age. So to me it was pretty much like an orphanage. Not sure how i survived those years but i do remember and experienced a lot of floggings from some of the Nuns.
    Being of such a young age the continual bullying when left to the devices of children was an issue. However i went on to do reasonably well in life. Never turned out to be a really religious person after going through that.


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