Weekend Worstoff 58 – The Winnering

100 Perth things comp has been won.I must say I’m a little disappointed that it’s Outrage Cohen again who will take the prize with his slogan, “Complain about lack of local voices in arts, but don’t go see local theatre or plays.” Perhaps an outrage free comp next time?

Internet is normal again now in Hong Kong. They can mark 20 years of Tiananmen Square here, but no-one really cares. All news items are blocked on that topic on the mainland but again, no-one cares, particularly not Uni students.

I am indeed literally looking down on Nathan Rd and Hong Kong harbour as I type this. Here is the prize DFOC, soon to be hauled back to Perth by Cathay Pacific. A selection of Chinese ciggies, ranging from 30c a pack to $1. Ciggies are subsidised by the government in China. (You only get 11, one is promised to another.) I suppose some entrants may get a grim satisfaction from your hacking cough from a 30c pack of smokes, but this will be offset by the coolness of casually dropping a pack of Communist cigarettes in front of the cadres at the next union meeting. I have linked to a bigger pic so you can view the packs better. I can definitely see you with a pride in your mouth rather than that fucking pen. Thanks to the many voters and entrants.

Commie Sticks

Commie Sticks

Posted in *Worst of china | 13 Comments

Jazzy B, The Punjabi Dave Hughes

I took this because it looked like an Indian Dave Hughes, but also because it seemed very worst worthy in itself. Jazzy B? Rambo world tour? Surely that must make you sound like a plonker even in the Punjab? I hope they will have been able to remove Cookster’s semen stains from The Convection Centre before jazzy B arrives.

Strangely I saw a student who looked like an Indian Rodney Dangerfield recently. He don’t get no respect either.

davehughescudavehughes

Posted in worst advertising, worst sign | Tagged | 18 Comments

Gyno

From Michael, seen in Subi/Leederville. He questions the selection of the woman’s photo. I wonder what he uses for his pap smear brochure. A circus clown?

I am in China this week. Moderation may not be as timely.

gyno

Posted in worst advertising, worst sign | Tagged , | 22 Comments

Boganville

Delightful scene from Don Smith. Girrawheen Shopping centre. Everything is juuust right.
Remember, I’m in China this week. Moderation of comments might be slow.

girra

Posted in worst art | Tagged | 36 Comments

Mandurah Canals, (rhymes with anals)

Took the boy on a boat trip round Mandurah, when we had some time to kill. The abundance of dolphins was great for him, but the abundance of worsts was more pleasing to my eye.  Most of the trip went through the Mandurah Canals, and the operator will never tire of telling you how expensive these revolting hideous houses were. Does anyone really care what these pricks paid for their shit heaps? The houses are laid out so you can look in and see that their crap taste doesn’t stop at the front door. We were really treated by getting a glimpse of Rolly Tasker working on his palm trees. We even got a wave! I can only hope he was muttering “fuck off cunt” as we went past, because that’s what we were thinking. I tried to show you a revolting bedroom  interior, but one of his poxy palms got in the way. Couple of nice boat names. Seaducer was good.

Remember, i’m in China this week. Moderation of comments might be slow.

Rolly Tasker turd polishing.

Rolly Tasker turd polishing.

manpig

manseaducermancosta

Posted in worst boat, worst house, worst sculpture, worst transport | Tagged , , , | 102 Comments

The Big Green

Well I hope wordpress auto post is working. If you are reading this Perth morning, I should be stumbling off a plane in Hong Kong slightly less cranky than normal, having flown Cathay for once instead of hideous Qantas. I will shortly afterwards be stumbling on to another brand of Chineser aircraft for a short trip into “The Big Green” as Hong Kongers call the mainland. Going to Nanjing, as in rape of, and Taiping rebellion. WordPress is generally blocked in China, so I might not be able to moderate comments as quickly as usual. I’m not sure what this picture of concrete lion and Chinese ciggies means.

ciggiescuciggies

Posted in *Worst of china | Tagged | 7 Comments

100 Perth Things Competition

Another competition!

Here’s the Best 10 so far according to me, from the blog and the Twitter feed. There were many other good ones, but I got too drunk to trawl through all of them.

I think my own best were

Spill wine on Verity James’ rack.

Rhyme “Wanjina” with vagina.

————————————
I am excluding myself from the vote, even though I felt mine were superior. The winner will get some crap I bring back  from China. A pack of Communist ciggies maybe? A T shirt? Let’s say voting will close next Sunday night, where I hope I can judge the winner from high up in the Kowloon Hotel Hong Kong,  looking down on the seething masses of  Nathan Rd as some kind of appropriate parallel. I hate to put Skink and Outrage Cohen in the same voting arena after the bitterness of last time, but whatever. You can vote only once, but you can check several favourites in the one vote. It is multiple choice voting.

OK The finalists of 100 Perth Things to do before you die competition…

Posted in worst of perth | 23 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 57

A little briefer today as getting ready to go to China tomorrow. I thought I should give communism one more go. But first, Shocking Asia on a biscuit, Cookster has a new vest! Really. Compare and contrast. Or is it recoloured via photoshop?

week57cookAnd Bento who has well and truly done his worst for us this week sends two more.

week57exitweek57stonerAnd Outrage Cohen juxtaposes this poster with the true cross, no doubt with pen in mouth.

week57extort

Worst well this weekend. Will try and set up auto posts for next week.

Posted in weekend worstoff, worst car, worst graffiti, worst people, worst sign | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

The Tankmaster Chronicles – Day

Now, back to Bento’s Tankmaster series. this time by day. Doesn’t quite have the glamour of the night series does it, but more classically worst. That might even be the Hawaiian god Cohones there too. I likes the Dobermans.

tankdaybigtankdaybigwdtankdaybigkahuntankdaybigpalmcu

Posted in worst advertising, worst tree | Tagged , , , | 28 Comments

100 Perth things to do before you die…

My Twitter suggestions of “100 Perth things to do before you die” seems fairly popular. Non Twitterers can add suggestions here.

So far…

Spill wine on Verity James’ rack. (Most popular so far.)

Blacklist Patti Chong,

Wax Barra’s back,

Fill cracks in Greg Pearce’s face

Grease Russel Woolfe

Spend 3 hours catching a Dolphin Fish on light tackle. Then throw it in the bin in Rockingham

Remake The Big Chill with the music of V Capri & Basil Zempilas as Jeff Goldblum

Posted in worst of perth | Tagged | 150 Comments