YOU Judge Worst of Town of Vincent

Since wordpress was kind enough to add polls feature only today, I thought it might be better to let the readers decide who gets the two bottles of Howling Wolves wine. You can vote for your own, and for more than one entry per vote if you have more than one favourite, but repeat voting is blocked.  I will close voting and announce the two winners at 10am on Wednesday morning. I have put up a gallery of all the entries, minus a few not publishable for legal reasons, including a couple of late entries, neighbours by Bedford Crackpot, and Map-it by Midlandia. The voting poll contains my shortlist.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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59 Responses to YOU Judge Worst of Town of Vincent

  1. Rolly says:

    Why the shortlist?
    There are 8 more of them.


  2. Oh, yes, I should have said that I whittled down to my top 7.


  3. Fucking outrage !:) Graphic-centric or wot ?
    and wheres’ the report from the She-Ra fest-up ?


  4. Tomorrow will do She-Ra exclusive. A taster. The Ferris wheel is on the high seas and heading our way.


  5. skink says:

    it’s looking good.

    hey Cohen, you’re getting creamed

    I am Obama and you are McCain

    I look forward to your accusations of voter fraud.

    I am not a muslim.


  6. skink says:

    spoke too soon

    damn my arrogance


  7. Your Cohen crack still holds though.


  8. Crackpots! says:

    We are McCain! Gonna roll mudriddled Turd Swamp Monsters into the TWOP offices in protest and lay a big number 2 in the corner!! And where’s my late submission? I stayed up all night workin’ on that one!!! :)


  9. Ljuke says:

    Take heart, dear Outrage. At least they’re not comparing you to Brendan Nelson.


  10. B.T. says:

    Vote early, vote often.


  11. Jesus Skink, you are in danger of dropping out of wine calculation! Unbelievable! You’ll be the Carps of TOV comp!


  12. Actually Cohen’s is pretty good. Maybe people forgot Travolta was Vincent in movie?


  13. skink says:

    like Carps indeed

    I thought the vote was a shoo-in, and then lost the public due to a perception of arrogance

    the only difference is that I never got to see Jaye Radisich’s tits


  14. Ljuke says:

    Yeah, I really liked Cohen’s.

    I didn’t vote for it, but I certainly did like it.


  15. Actually, after your early outburst, you should be worried Skink. Cohen’s obviously working and hasn’t voted yet, but since he has 10 fucking workplaces with many computers at each, plus a cohort of students, if he strategically thew his voting bloc behind Fat Wog Cunt, you’d be in trouble. Perhaps he’d even be able to get enough support through the MEAA union to get his own up? Heh, no, what am I talking about, those guys couldn’t organise a root in a brewery.


  16. skink says:

    so Cohen has his own vote-rigging syndicate?

    I shall have to mobilize ACORN and get the vote out.

    I want that “Hair of the Wolf’


  17. Cookster says:

    Fuck me, I’ve been busy (actually) working and came in late on this one. Vote for me and I’ll email you a pic of a semi naked female golfer in a bathtub full of golf balls… or a topless Rodger Davis, whatever takes yer fancy.


  18. David Cohen says:

    A week is a long time in politics, skink, and a five-day online poll is even longer.

    You will be crushed like the insignificant bug you are.

    I got my students, my meedja colleagues, my union operatives, boffins, backgammon cronies, vexillological associates and a number of health workers.

    You will be consigned to the dustbin of history, where you will spend more time with your family.

    A lot more time.


  19. Mobilise your blocs baby. You’ll need to go all strategic on our arses. A Cohen/Cookster or Bedford/Ljuke strategic alliance. It’s Axis vs Allies.


  20. skink says:

    jeez, it’s a turf war over cheap mafia jokes.

    backgammon buddies? you really pull in the heavies when the shit goes down. vexillologists? I can’t compete with that kind of muscle – I had better run up the white flag.

    I’m stocking up on tinned food and ammunition and heading for my shed in the bush.


  21. David Cohen says:

    Don’t forget to daub your primitive symbols on some restaurant walls on the way!


  22. And although Howling Wolves sounds like it should be a $6 wine, it is actually a $15 wine.


  23. Midlandia says:

    Damnit, I’m off the ballot, courtesy of late registration! Now I know how Anthony Fels feels. The late submission bit, not the corrupt prick part.

    That said, maybe I can get some sort of grassroots support and act as a spoiler. Maybe if I amass enough votes, I can enter a power sharing agreement with Skink: all he needs to do is pour me a couple of glasses worth of Howling Wolves. Added bonus: I don’t want to nuke everything east of Corrigin. :D


  24. skink says:

    you can have the whole bloody bottle. I don’t want it.

    I just don’t want to be beaten by the Outrage.


  25. #17 Cookster, get your facebook into action. if you’re in PR and can’t muster enough “friends”, you in trouble. What about Barra. Surely he’ll vote you to make sure the one with his bonce doesn’t make it to fame and win.

    The vote numbers are getting to the stage that only someone as popular as a Scarborough slut will be able to muster up a big enough bloc.


  26. Snuff says:

    Here we see the protagonists shaping up in the opening round outside Rolly’s van. Feel free to decide for yourselves who is whom.

    p.s. I have to say I’m disappointed that none of the final entries feature my infinitely preferred spelling of Vincunt.


  27. poor lisa says:

    Hmm there’s a word for the kind of poll where one person preselects the candidates…

    I vote for skylantern’s ‘Vincent Welcomes Troy’. It’s brilliant.


  28. Cookster says:

    @25 – TLA: facebook is utilised, but there are only so many people I can call to arms over a poster in which I am calling Vincent Price a cunt…

    Teh ‘Rage and Skink have played the trump card in keeping it ‘clean’ to garner more votes from the downtrodden, god fearing masses.

    All I have are the cunts. In saying that, I appeal to all of you who value the word cunt, who treasure that one-powerful profanity, who use it with glee, to join me and lead us to victory.


  29. Well, before yesterday, I was going to be doing ALL of the judging, so I think you’ve got democracy up the ying yang now.


  30. Ljuke says:

    Well, I voted for you Cookster, so what does that say about me?


  31. Ljuke says:

    Your silence speaks volumes.


  32. I’m sure he’s thinking “So he voted for me? What’s this cunt want, a fucking medal?”


  33. Errrrr outrage, where are these media/friends/colleagues? You still in Christian Democrat territory for votes.


  34. Midlandia says:

    Stuff it. Whilst I have personal reservations about the Foulest Of Foul Words (capitals gives it a bit of gravitas!) the pun in play in Cookster’s submission makes it a favourite of mine. I’ll cast a vote, although Skink’s Plonk for Preferences deal has piqued my interest.


  35. Cookster says:

    Ljuke – were you waiting from 6.48 – 9.00pm for my response? No, TLA is incorrect, I value your vote and welcome you on board as my personal Sarah Palin.

    Thanks also to Midlandia, but why has my fucking vote dropped two points overnight?


  36. Midlandia says:

    It might be a case of an unexpected swing, Cookster. If you slip away, footage of your facial expression should be YouTubed for posterity.
    Speaking of which, does anyone know where I can find video footage of Graham Kierath being owned on national television when he lost his seat? I’m told it’s highly watchable.


  37. I don’t think Cohen can make it to wine contention. There are a lot of votes to make up. I will be impressed if he gets there. Who has that many friends? Perhaps he will suffer the fate of Ljuke, who rallied his friends, but they voted for someone else.


  38. Bedford Crackpots! says:

    Jeeez dont rattle his cage!! We’re bracing for a slow grinding Teh Rageous mobilisation with a skin revived backwash! A motley assortment of eastern redneck riffraff disguised as metrocentric squabble!


  39. Bedford Crackpots! says:

    er…. should that be a “Skink” revival backwash?


  40. David Cohen says:

    I’m creeping up: in third place now. The dog is about to wag its tail.


  41. More like a Christian Democrat waving his willie around.


  42. skink says:

    I am going to start referring to The Outrage as ‘Tracy Flick’


  43. Teh ‘Rage HAS got mates! Skink, have you got any friends left? Danger, Danger!


  44. skink says:

    I am happy to let Tracy Flick win it.

    my work stands on its own merit

    getting my mates and colleagues to log in and vote may alert them to how little work I do.


  45. Jeez, what sort of attitude is that? Everyone would have assumed you had already done that and run out of mates. You are far to moral for this world skink.


  46. Bedford Crackpot Fraternity! says:

    I suppose you realise this means war!! Mobilising Crackpots now!! On my mark!


  47. Front counter dude says:

    I vote for Greenthumb Pete and his corgette…


  48. The BCF says:

    The Pots are cracking, no pot will be unturned and other meaningless phrases, theres crackpots off the starboard bow, we’re heading into the wind and coming home with a wet kedergee, hoist the yardarm and flog the cactus!!


  49. The BCF says:

    Comin’ at ya Outrage! Mainsails up, oars are out, got your dog by the tail mate! AAArrggghh its a marvellous night for a poll dance!


  50. Pingback: Town of Vincent, The Howling « The Worst of Perth

  51. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Add interest LA by randomnly blocking I.P. ranges see PollDaddy “Block repeat voters by IP address or cookies. “


  52. David Cohen says:

    I am in awe of BCF. His Super Tuesday surge had me eating his dust. A whopping 36 per cent!

    As my wife counselled me this morning, I mobilised my blocs too soon. If I’d left it till yesterday I wouldn’t have forced BCF to start crunching his numbers until it was too late.

    The main thing is skink being abjectly humiliated. The skinkster was bullish on Friday: “it’s looking good…I am Obama…I look forward to your accusations of voter fraud”.

    Later that day he was still hopeful: “I want that “Hair of the Wolf’.”

    But he soon sulked at returns from early booths: “you can have the whole bloody bottle. I don’t want it. I just don’t want to be beaten by the Outrage”.

    On Monday the awful truth was sinking in: “I am happy to let Tracy Flick win it. my work stands on its own merit”.

    Last night there was pathetic bleating: “I think I should point out the irony of a competition for the Town of Vincent being decided by cronyism, voter fraud, union block voting, and media bias.”

    The people have spoken, skink. You can enjoy your moral victory as BCF and I toast our massive popularity with Howling red.

    Are you the Ron Paul of TWOP?


  53. skink says:


    a victory for backgammon, vexillology and onanism.

    enjoy your cheap wine

    I hope it turns your shit black for two days


  54. It wasn’t cheap damn you. $15 per bottle.


  55. “I think I should point out the irony of a competition for the Town of Vincent being decided by cronyism, voter fraud, union block voting, and media bias.”

    Now THAT was the coolest part.


  56. “The people have spoken, skink.”
    Perhaps it’s better to say “The IP addresses have spoken.


  57. Bento says:

    LA @ 55 – Agreed. If only we could now force skink, DFOC and BCF to meet once a fortnight for the next 2 years, and pretend to like each other, just like the real TOV.


  58. The Crackpots says:

    Gracious Outrage, Skink, – respect! Now wheres that Booze!! Hammer the hammer!


  59. Pingback: 100 Perth Things Competition « The Worst of Perth

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