Who could pass up this rental opportunity where you only have to fuck off for all of Sunday? Does ‘family” sound suspicious to you? Maybe he has to check on the hydro setup behind the false wall, or maybe the family is chained under the laundry and he comes round to empty the chemical toilet? Whatever the reason, I expect a heavy fog of Glen-20 would greet your return home. Expecting no drugs or agents is a bit rich for South Lake too. Maybe they mean Asians?
Haven’t had enough tweets to highlight, so let me supplement them with a shot of Colin Barnett doing a Vladimir Putin. Although in Colin’s case he had to be tied to the horse lest he slip off during his constant slumbering.
Ponting hits out at critics who say he doesn’t understand Brownian Motion. I’m here to play cricket, not study the random movement of particles…
Dockers plan to kill relatives to lift game. After the death of Gilbee’s father inspired The Bulldogs to beat Freo, Mark Harvey has targette…
Rick hart will freeze head to await Dockers Premiership. Outgoing Freo Prez has stockpiled 500 years of liquid nitrogen in an effort to live…
Matthew Newton sleeps in head brace to prevent face widening. After watching in horror as father Bert’s head grew to the size of a truckie’s arse…
“Stump jump violin” may go overseas. The Aussie inventor of a violin that can be used in dry land farming says lack of local investment will…
Angry Anderson launches autobiography “Shortarse for Love”. The tiny balding singer, once described as resembling a medium sized dildo said…
A couple of astounding Japaneser worsts from DJ Snuff. I like that car. And what exactly is the fuck me monkey selling? A monkey says fuck me while a member of Kiss just stands by?
And Stu is not sure whether this is a pisstake, but I think it is more likely a sign of the times.
And Bento is slowly shaking his head at this toerag tag. I’m sure we’ve had worse. Remember the tagged palm frond?
And a late entry via Inside Cover’s Daniel Hatch. That’s the difference between IC and TWOP. I can post def cunt. Beautiful. Twitter users can also follow Daniel’s out of control twitter feed at http://www.twitter.com/IC_Daniel_Hatch
Thanks everyone, as 800 000 impressions is passed. Worst well.
From C who saw these at Perth Tafe (Spiritual home of the Tafecuntz?) Yeah I’ll pay that as a worst.
Sonny Crockett: Hate waiting, feel like a character in a Becket play.
Det. Ricardo Tubbs: Since when do you know Becket?
Sonny Crockett: Charlie Becket, works down the shoeshine, writes plays on the side. Miami Vice 1984
One from my own personal stash of worsts, a classic concrete flamingo. Unfortunately I only have been able to knock off… I mean obtain by fair means, the bending down one. I need the standing one too. And the rope? I’d rather not say.
Oh my god, finally Japanese speaking skills are being recognised. And car cleaning too! The icing on the cake is that it might even be casual so they won’t have to waste time on holidays. Maybe they’ll even get to clean a hotted up Skyline! And they said being bilingual was a waste of time. Who”ll be laughing now when this lucky employee gets called to do some translation while cleaning the bugs off a grille?
Although Meccano saw this worst opportunity in Adelaide recently, (apparently the whole town is a freewheeling collection of crap) I thought it could give Perth’s Carlisle Hotel a run for its money when it advertises “skimpy” singular. At least they don’t have “poker in the rear”.
It was down in Chinatown,
All the cokies laid around,
Some were high and some were mighty low;
There were millions on the floor
When a knock came on the door,
And there stood old Smoky Joe.
He was sweatin’, cold and pale,
He was lookin’ for his frail,
He was broke and all his junk ran out;
Nobody made a sound,
As he stood and looked around,
And then you hear old Smoky shout:
Saying, “Tell me where is Minnie?
My poor Minnie!
Has she been here, Kicking the gong around?”Cab Calloway, Kickin’ The Gong Around
After seeing this, Outrage Cohen made the mistake of trying to cure a bastard hangover with pure gong power. Krazy Kym hammered gongs next to his head for several hours. Maybe it was her technique? No, no, no. A bit like the New Zealand Pharmacy where I asked for a sleeping pill to help with a long plane journey to Mexico. The pharmacist suggested some drops of lavendar for my in flight pillow. Ahh, no. Some things won’t cut it on reality street. This was seen behind the Art Department at Curtin where no doubt The ‘Rage, that well known, low down, Hoochie Coocher, was smoking a Hong He ciggie. Did you see how the feminist wall was faring Outrage?
Twenty thousand comments (not including spam) were passed this weekend. Granted a lot of them were Patti Chong pretending not to be Patti, but a solid contribution to the world of ideas in Perth nonetheless. I should be saving the good ones for an anthology, but there were some quality points made in defence of “Our Nikki, Miss Nude Australia”. There were also the wonderful rantings of Greg Hoey and his Young White Lesbian conspiracy. Greg still remains the only person ever banned from the site. Recently 9-11 Truthers crackpots made their valuable contribution. Others may remember some other great lines. There must be twenty volumes of haiku at least. Good times, good times.
Don’t forget to check out the total archives of posts tab at the top for any requests for topics for the live show on September 3rd.
I would also like to make a plea to all the ABC types who follow this blog. There must be some way the audio of Peter Rowsthorne saying Red Cunt instead of Red Kite, to the amusement of Russell Woolf on Friday, can make its way here, so all could appreciate it. Not as good as when Peter Holland called the wrong number when doing an interview on diets and the interviewee after trying to fake it, told Holland “You can suck my cock!” but it would be good nonetheless.
Who are you calling a Red Cunt?
I am sorry to be so slow with this one. I was alerted as soon as the giant dog man with the big doodle appeared in Subi, but couldn’t get out there. It has been covered in other press organs. Still worth a look if you haven’t seen it. Thanks Poor Lisa. Other works can be seen here.
Jeff K sends in a sign advertising “birthday party’s” at the Hartfield Park Recreation Centre in Forrestfield. Jeff K says…Keep up the top work, and hopefully no one send in a picture of my “Bass Tard” licence plate…
I hope we DO get your tard plate Jeff. I think this guy may be a bass tard.
Meccano tells us he saw a child on a potty on the table of a cafe. I like the stolen photo look Meccano. Thanks Meccano, you are the go to man for child toileting events.
And Edward De Bozo sent in this sculpture from the Balga Swimming Centre. I hate to say that I don’t find it so bad. Maybe on a day when we didn’t have a giant dog man doodle.
Thanks everyone. Worst well this weekend, and don’t fail at sex.
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