Miss Nude has no nipple

You’ve got to admire the achievements of our Nikki or “Nikki” as the sign has it. That a nipple deprived girl could even get through the first few rounds of Miss Nude Australia is accomplishment enough, but to win..? Kudos, “Nikki”, kudos. And what’s happening with the other breast? hanging lower and apparently mangled behind the cellophane. Wait there’s a joke in there.

A) My Miss nude has no nipple.

B) How does she smell?

A) Terrible!

No wait, does that work? May need some workshopping if not photoshopping. Xotica should be asking for their money back for this sign. Really bad work.

missnudecubrandedThis terrible sign can be found on William Street Northbridge.

missnudebranded

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in vanished worst, worst advertising, worst sign and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

107 Responses to Miss Nude has no nipple

  1. Vic Demised says:

    Nipple-deprived or otherwise, it’s not surprising she won “Miss Nude”, given all the others are wearing clothes.

    Like

  2. They might all be her.

    Like

  3. A diamond-studded tiara is just inappropriate in these circumstances. Do they make them in polypropylene?

    Like

  4. David Cohen says:

    Is that Johnny Scrotum in the background??:

    Like

  5. Vic Demised says:

    “They might all be her”. Yeah? Can one woman have that many bad looks?

    Like

  6. Golden1 says:

    Didn’t the judges notice they were all her? No wonder she won!

    Like

  7. poor lisa says:

    I guess only a female’s gunna notice that not only are there no nipples but the boobs are made of plastic.

    Strange. On the website, the left one’s noticeably higher.

    Like

  8. Bill O"Slatter says:

    I’ve seen this young lady before : on the cover of Fanny magazine. And yes Lisa she wasn’t all her ; the cost of an implant is a circular tit. The circular on the circular.

    Like

  9. poor lisa says:

    In fact that stuff on the left is one of them leaking.

    Like

  10. D. says:

    Oh thank crap this was verified. I honestly thought I was seeing things when I walked past this.

    Like

  11. jamie says:

    I LOVE NIKKI
    shes hot
    they have to cover nipple to make the advertising legal
    and u dumb fucks they are all nikki

    if u were as hot as her then u could have the glory]
    but ur not
    so get fucked

    Like

  12. Bill O' Slatter says:

    This is new. Spam expressing a gender confused texting opinion. O brave new world ….

    Like

  13. But I AM as hot as her. Wot you talking about Hymie? They airbrushed out the nipple becuase they are shithouse graphic designers. What’s wrong with a * to cover the nip? Would have looked better than making her look like some mutant freak. And I do have the glory. Yes, the glory, all of it. I have it all at my house right now. And you also don’t say why her other tit is all mangled up. Is that to keep it legal? Also is it to keep it legal that she looks like crap in every pic? C’mon Hymie, you can’t possibly defend this pic as anything else than a disaster.

    Like

  14. Hymie, wot you think of the Wallaby’s pouch today? Does it have the glory?

    Like

  15. Frank Calabrese says:

    Speaking of nudes, what is it with Barney judging the 92.9 Suburban Centrefolds Nude Calendar ?

    http://www.929.com.au/shows/emandwippa/features/subcentrefolds

    Isn’t it a bit of a contradiction, considering some of the Liberal Party policies on Censorship ?

    Like

  16. margeryx says:

    Frank – what a depressing website! Which one is Em and which Wippa? Could they try any harder to be cool?

    What’s their slogan? It’s not because we’re cunts?

    Like

  17. Frank Calabrese says:

    Frank – what a depressing website! Which one is Em and which Wippa? Could they try any harder to be cool?

    Em, is the one on the left, ex Australian Idol contestant, which says it all really.

    For those who remember, back in the late 80’s, Austereo bought 6IX and changed it’s name to The Eagle, and pioneered the “Morning Zoo”, which marked the downfall of Top 40 type radio.

    Also, this is why I don’t listen to the FM stations, but prefer 6IX, pity they can’t be metro wide on FM, though I can pick up their Wanneroo Translator here in downtown Middle Swan.

    Like

  18. Bento says:

    I think it’s nice that Hymie felt welcome to say hello here, en route to finding some proper internet porn.

    So that’s where all the glory went, LA. I was meaning to ask.

    Like

  19. Vic Demised says:

    Hymie, you only love Nikki ’cause she sat on your lap and wiggled. How long did you last?

    Like

  20. jamie says:

    Nikki is a true peformer

    If any of you anonmous ugly bastard had the guts to put your photo on the internet,then I would respect you

    You see Nikki is paid to be gorgeous and you are not.

    So Fuck you all. You jealous fat ugly losers.

    Nikki can model and make men throw their wages at her

    Can You?

    No

    SO shut up

    Like

  21. Pay the girl enough to get a new nipple.

    Like

  22. jamiie says:

    YO
    She has a nipple its just airbrushed
    ur just jealous coz u have to work hard for a living
    nikki has her looks
    and you are all losers
    yo
    f u

    Like

  23. jamiie says:

    ur just mad coz ur bf spend all his cash on hot nikki types and not u
    thats why u spend so much time on the computer getting fat then getting on the pole
    nikki nikki nikki
    you should just watch her. its hot

    Like

  24. Bento says:

    I’m a little concerned for Nikki’s safety.

    Like

  25. jamie says:

    why be concerned. Im travelling world, and have more interests outside perth than you boring lot. Anyhow stay tuned for my perfect nude pics of my nipples.

    Like

  26. Bento says:

    Are you sure you’re the same jamie/jamiie of the previous posts? You seem to have lapsed into almost proper grown-up English (and, confidential to jamiie – adding an ‘i’ to your name is soooo, like, teenage girl, whatever).

    I can just imagine the rich cultural experiences you will have when travelling world. Ahh, the sex clubs of Bangkok… the swinger clubs of Hamburg… the red light district of Amsterdam… the titty bars of Las Vegas… and the skimpies of the Ling. Bon voyage, our slightly unhinged obsessive friend. Be sure to write.

    Like

  27. DJ SWINGER says:

    Seriously you people with ya comments obviuosly have no life or are obviously depressed with the way you look. I’m nikki’s partner of 9 years, winning Miss Nude Australia combines 2 full 15 minutes choreographed routines as well as modelling catwalk style. Prestigious to win and competing againt 16 other girls from all around Australia, the best of each state. To win the comp in only her second year after coming 3rd last year, and being back to back miss Nude WA well i need to say no more.Now she gets to work all around Australia and Internationallly why you all sit at home and ponder why your lives suck as you write comments like you do behind an alias on the computer.

    Like

  28. Mr IT says:

    You all need to get a life and go do some work!!

    Seriously… one has to be pretty bored or have nothing better in life to take a photo, and start a blog on the net about Miss Nudes Airbrushed Nipple.

    They are trying to Ban Topless Beaches in this country… so obviously Having a Nipple on the wall of the building may not go down to well with our Lord Mayor!!

    Get a Life, and All the Best Nikki and to anyone else brave enough to follow what they want in life!

    Like

  29. Guys look at the poster. You seriously telling me that’s not an insult to the girl? This is a site of satire featuring hideous and awful graphic design, architecture etc in the city. You couldn’t really claim that this doesn’t fit into that category. That’s world class shithouse.

    Like

  30. Frank Calabrese says:

    Hmm, are these posts emenating from the same IP adress, is this some kind of viral attack by her manager to paint her as the victim in this piece ?

    I love people telling people to “Get A Life”, when they are in fact responding to this very post :-)

    Like

  31. No Frank, sadly from different ip’s. Even more sad is that someone googling nude and nipple for some wanking material is saying “get a life”, and the other is saying
    “…write comments like you do behind an alias on the computer” is writing behind an alias from a computer.”

    Like

  32. Frank Calabrese says:

    Even more sad is that someone googling nude and nipple for some wanking material is saying “get a life”, and the other is saying
    “…write comments like you do behind an alias on the computer” is writing behind an alias from a computer.”

    Exactly my point – something like Pot + Kettles, which also applies to a certain high profile legal practitioner on the other thread :-)

    Like

  33. Cheech says:

    Nikki is indeed very lucky to attract such a loyal and erudite partner.

    we should be happy for her

    I know I am

    Like

  34. Bento says:

    The random capitalisation reminds me of something…

    Is that you, Ann?

    Like

  35. Bill O"Slatter says:

    Unfortunately for “Mr IT” his computer skills don’t extend to understanding what a blog is. Hint to “Mr IT” this blog isn’t
    “a blog on the net about Miss Nudes Airbrushed Nipple”. Learn something about computer grammar , you can’t claim to be an IT person by having a Microsoft Certified Wanker dipshitploma.

    Like

  36. Re:
    this blog isn’t a blog on the net about Miss Nudes Airbrushed Nipple”.

    But that’s a great idea.

    Like

  37. This post has moved into the top ten all time. Chong is not far behind.

    Like

  38. poor lisa says:

    What are they… let me guess
    Stripper World
    Chong
    Alsatian Rampant
    one of the nurry ones
    One of the Worst ones

    Like

  39. “Fruit and Vegetable Strip

    For this very explicit show the girl will perform a sizzling strip followed by the insertion of a sexy selection of fruit and vegetables.

    Approx 30 minutes
    Get this if: You’ve seen the Pearls and Vibrators before.”

    From: http://www.perthstripper.com.au/strippers.php

    and:
    “Book Early, Wedding Season Is Here
    We advise that you book early as wedding season generally starts around September, and our girls get very busy. So to avoid disappointment, call now on..”

    Yes nothing says I’m comitted to marriage like a live porno show complete with “insertion of sexy selection of vegetables”

    I doubt most meat eaters of perth woudl find vegetables sexy – how about a chop?

    Like

  40. Rolly says:

    F X H,
    It’s a feminist vegan conspiracy.

    Like

  41. poor lisa says:

    Like a man says goodbye to sexy fruit and vegetables when he says ‘I Do’.

    Mmmm. Turnips.

    Like

  42. Snuff says:

    … and melons, poor lisa.

    Like

  43. brad pitt says:

    Hmm. When her tits deflate, will the dj still say I do

    Like

  44. brad pitt says:

    but when everything goes south , will u still love ur partner?
    How is she making the world a better place?
    Just makes the dicks go up
    Do you take her earnings, is that how ur relatnship works
    Hmm.

    Like

  45. Rolly says:

    Daft twat. Go away.

    Like

  46. brad smutt says:

    How is that daft .Arsewipe rolly?
    NO man could love a woman who sells herself
    As soon as she deflates,
    Im sure dj will blow into a new model
    Thats just life
    Anyhow rolly wheres ur pic. fuck face

    Like

  47. poor lisa says:

    There’s always something there to remind me of greg.

    Like

  48. And now Miss Nude is set to surpass Alsatian rampant in the popularity stakes

    Like

  49. IDATEDASTRIPPER says:

    Im sure its not giving too much away to say I have touched Michelles boobs and they are definitely not real. OOps did I say Michelle. Sorry.

    Like

  50. xald says:

    Man, I’ve been meaning to take a photo of this piece of shit. It makes trips into Northbridge a gut-wrenching experience.

    …Or maybe that’s just Northbridge.

    Like

  51. xald says:

    Probably not the first to tell this to you, but this is a vanished worst at long last!

    …Nott that I made a point of looking, mind you. I just happened to see.

    Like

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  53. David Cohen says:

    This has sagged out of most active posts AGAIN.

    Have Michelle’s fans deserted her??

    Like

  54. David Cohen says:

    You will note on July 15 someone claimed to have touched “Michelle’s” breasts.

    Like

  55. And yes it is another vanished worst now. At least the National/State library has saved the nipple-less boozie for all time.

    Like

  56. Santosh says:

    That is impossible.
    Somebody ate them.

    Like

  57. Chey says:

    I work with Nikki often and she is stunning and very popular. The people that sit on here trashing her are all the men that would never have a chance with her or any woman like her. She won Miss Nude Australia… do any of you guys have a title like that? i think not.
    Nikki has incredible talent and is a beauty so screw anyone that says any different.
    There is no point hating her partner either, just because he goes home with her while you other men wank over posters or net pictures!

    Like

  58. I think “Our Nikki” commenters are even more retarded than cuntry people.

    Like

    • fraybento's says:

      Yes TLA, me too. Though I am beginning to suspect Nikki can’t even write. She must be well aware of her fame on this site by now. Why hasn’t she taken the time to come here and defend her talents?

      Like

      • Bento says:

        The thing that gets me is that no one (well none of the regular TWOPpers, I can’t speak for the other assorted mouth breathers) has criticised Our Nikki. The criticism is for the shit graphic design, which I can only assume was not also Nikki’s work (unless she is indeed as talented as Chey asserts).

        Like

  59. Pop says:

    Hahaha

    Miss Nikki is fat.

    Like

  60. shazza says:

    Great to see the thread is still in the top posts TLA.

    Like

  61. Jordana says:

    Is is the same Nikki that works for Xotica club?
    Well have you seen her?
    Nikki is Miss Nude Xotica Girls
    Miss Nude WA – I think she won this 2 or 3 times
    Miss Nude Australia
    Nikki is a Penthouse Pet
    Nikki gets paid to appear around the world

    Check out her photos on Xotica website –

    Like

  62. ben says:

    OMG are you guys and girls for real……
    Nikki was at Xotica Strip Club last weekend, she is the hottest female perth stripper ever!
    Nikki-Xotica Girls has won more titles than any other female stripper in perth.

    Like

  63. The Legend 101 says:

    Dont you think this is a bit inapropiate.

    Like

  64. David Cohen says:

    “Nikki” rockets up to #3!

    I see she was doing private shows until last week:

    http://xotica.com.au/pages/nikki.htm

    • Private parties, bux parties, corporate events etc. Perth
    • Topless and nude waitressing
    • Solo Strip Shows up to “Pearl”

    Like

  65. The Legend 101 says:

    good question i wonderd that to Who Is Pearl?

    Like

  66. David Cohen says:

    This has become positively flaccid and is now back to #8 on most active.

    Come on “Nikki” fans – do the right thing….

    Like

  67. The Legend 101 says:

    So whos Nikki and Pearl and what did they do? thats the last question

    Like

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