Kickin’ the Gong Around

It was down in Chinatown,
All the cokies laid around,
Some were high and some were mighty low;
There were millions on the floor
When a knock came on the door,
And there stood old Smoky Joe.

He was sweatin’, cold and pale,
He was lookin’ for his frail,
He was broke and all his junk ran out;
Nobody made a sound,
As he stood and looked around,
And then you hear old Smoky shout:

Saying, “Tell me where is Minnie?
My poor Minnie!
Has she been here,
Kicking the gong around?”Cab Calloway, Kickin’ The Gong Around

After seeing this, Outrage Cohen made the mistake of trying to cure a bastard hangover with pure gong power. Krazy Kym hammered gongs next to his head for several hours. Maybe it was her technique? No, no, no. A bit like the New Zealand Pharmacy where I asked for a sleeping pill to help with a long plane journey to Mexico. The pharmacist suggested some drops of lavendar for my in flight pillow. Ahh, no. Some things won’t cut it on reality street. This was seen behind the Art Department at Curtin where no doubt The ‘Rage, that well known, low down, Hoochie Coocher, was smoking a Hong He ciggie. Did you see how the feminist wall was faring Outrage?


About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in Uncategorisable Worsts and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Kickin’ the Gong Around

  1. shazza says:

    Healing schmealing. Send these people straight down to the Perth Cultural Centre.

    Gongs are all about sex. T-Rex’s ‘Get it On, Bang The Gong’ illustrates just how raunchy they are.


  2. David Cohen says:

    I was so not on-song any amount of gong-bong would’ve been wrong.

    More wrong than a Chong in a thong.


  3. Paracleet says:

    If an identicle sound is produced with a different instrument, is it equally as healing?


  4. Bento says:

    Fridge & Washer City wishes to advise we have cancelled Bento’s lucrative endorsement contract after it was brought to our attention his comments are usually intended to offend the families of deceased persons, retarded children, lesbian separatists, tinfoil hatters, and Rolly.

    The generally half-formed and loudly-espoused opinions of Bento are not those of Fridge & Washer City.

    Thank you.


  5. skink says:

    good riddance, I say

    I went there and it was not a city at all, just a large shop.

    It didn’t have a mayor or anything


  6. Dick says:

    lol @ “the Gongs”. teh gongs!


  7. margeryx says:

    “Some things won’t cut it on reality street.” That is gold, LA!

    Can I steal it?


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