Weekend Worstoff 143

By Sam H, outside (N)IGA Como. I like that all the religions are spelt wrong.Sad, Bayswater. By James N.

Poster by Pete F. Cnr Lefroy and South Teararse Fremantle.A sad dead vibrancy generator. Pity the fool who comes al the way here before checking the “sights”, only to find this broken. And what would it have said anyway? JaneZ.One from Hahndorf South Australia by Orbea. Do they mean horse apples?Worst well.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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51 Responses to Weekend Worstoff 143

  1. Shazza says:

    Well I wonder what the message for JoHo’s, Mormons, Moslims, Communists and the Gay community was? It seems the writer stopped short.

    Like

  2. The Bartender's skills with a Manhatten says:

    I don’t quite get pic #4. Obviously something is off typeface-wise, but I can’t imagine what the original message was. I thought “drinking” but the existing letters don’t match up.

    Like

    • Smoking. There have been certain recent controversies over mined lead being shipped out through fremantle Port. In a town where mime artists, vegans, lesbians, stilt walkers, drumming troupes, and people that don’t wash their hair on principle prevail, lead mining is not particularly popular.

      Like

      • The Bartender's skills with a Manhatten says:

        Ah. Well, interesting message either way. Not sure it’s a worst.

        Like

      • The Bartender's skills with a Manhatten says:

        Although, to get all picky, shouldn’t there have been a plethora of smokestacks in the rear view mirror?

        Otherwise, it seems simply to be suggesting you put Death Valley National Park behind you (not that this is not a very, very, very, very good idea).

        Like

    • Lucky Star says:

      I think it was supposed to say “Isn’t it time to put smoking behind you?” The logos at the bottom right are promoting anti-smoking organisations.

      Like

      • Bag O'Turnips says:

        Maybe around Freo, with its prolific mime artists, could also be altered to read “isn’t it time to put miming behind you?”.

        I agree fully with the sentiments of that resourceful culture-jammer that there’s no place for toxic lead carbonate loads to barrel through urban areas, but I don’t think lame street performances are honestly going to stop these drongoes from doing such…the only effective response short of legislation (and that’s most unlikely right now, with Carles subdued by The Snedger and Barnett Rubble, who fancies himself a modern Charlie Court or Bjelke-Petersen, with his fondness for flogging minerals and penchant for a police state) would be engaging the community towards a shareholder revolt à la Stephen Mayne, speaking the only language they know, i.e. dollars, using a capital strike as a very clearly enunciated threat they’ll understand.

        Problem is that most stoned hippies don’t got the dough to be activist shareholders and Adele’s too busy being an, um, Independent, these days to heed their calls.

        Fuck my brown dog…and to think I had this verbal diarrhoea through a tiny virtual keyboard of a certain popular smartphone…

        Like

  3. Lucky Star says:

    A fine example of Perth’s vibrancy there, with the broken and tagged tourism viewer. Tourism fail more like. Thank god people have the internet and other things to fall back on rather than rely on crap like that for advice. Perhaps WA Tourism should employ TWoP viewers to stand in the mall and offer advice, such as, “Avoid Midland. It’s a shithole, and not a tourist precinct at all unless you like seeing bogans xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx in their natural environment.”

    That car in Bayswater, that’s just classy that is. But the question is does the owner realise the flag is upside down?

    Like

    • The Bartender's skills with a Manhatten says:

      As an inhabitant of the Northern Hemisphere, surely all of Australia is upside down?

      /cue laugh track

      Like

    • RubyRuby says:

      Just don’t try to rely on sat nav in Mirrabooka at the moment – they are changing streetnames and the current state of play with street signs is… interesting.

      Or, you could just avoid Mirrabooka altogether?

      Like

      • Lucky Star says:

        I’d just suggest avoiding Mirrabooka (or ‘Booka as a bogan friend calls it) all together. A sat nav is not a safe item to have in the car over there at the best of times anyway. My other half had some little creep hurl a brick through the car window and steal ours while he was inside for an hour playing squash one night.

        Like

        • don smith says:

          Yes, even people in Girawheen try to avoid Mirrabooka. When the Centrelink office is the most vibrant hub of a place…well…stay away.

          Like

          • People in Girawheen, AKA the tomorrow people.

            Like

            • Lucky Star says:

              One of the girls I work with lives in Girrawheen. She calls it “the ghetto” and refuses to go walking after dark for fear of getting robbed, stabbed or worse. But even she would avoid Mirrabooka.

              Like

              • Bag O'Turnips says:

                I once had the pleasure of having a house in Girrawheen, which I used to rent out: the two first ones were amateur horticulturalists and the third one fancied himself as an automotive recycler specialising in Camiras.

                I then moved there for two years about a decade ago. I must concur with TLA in that it is indeed The Tomorrow People who reside there and that I couldn’t quite fit in with the broken social experiments that make up the manifold demographic of the area, moving to the anodyne safety of Morley after I had enough. But I too would agree with Lucky Star in that Mirrabooka was something of a Twilight Zone which made Girrawheen seem an oasis of harmony and balance.

                Like

          • Lucky Star says:

            Well, it’s funny that you say that Don. Whenever I have to give directions to clients in that area on the phone to my work’s Mirrabooka branch, they all seem to know where the Centrelink is. Any other landmarks and its, “Yeah, nah, I’m not sure where that is eh.”

            Like

  4. The Legend 101 says:

    The screens are to hard to use and i bet a morman wrote that there. Anyway Bill O Slater is a Bar Artender and Lucky star is a tram driver.

    Like

  5. WAtching says:

    The sixth photo reminds me of this old fave…

    Like

  6. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    That flag is bad but I am loving all that maroon bitumen. So chic. It screams out modern urban planning and redevelopment taking place here folks. They can start on the mid 80’s Corollas next.

    Like

    • Bag O'Turnips says:

      This must be the incoming WA Governor’s conveyance: if all the new Guv can expect for their transport is a circa 1990 Corolla instead of a chauffeured Holden Caprice (let alone the Vice-Regal Rolls Royce that’s long been pensioned off), then it wouldn’t be out of line putting the flag upside-down on the bonnet.

      Speaking of other matters re the Crown’s Representatives, the Governor-General was the topic of controversy in today’s Slimes for spending a fortune in flowers, including, quote, “white orchards”. $110 000 sounds like reasonable value for an orchard, but of white what…grapefruits? Mulberries?

      Normally I wouldn’t deign to “read” the Sunday Crimes (there’s an example of a newspaper for illiterates), but it does occasionally serve up some top comedy, all of which is purely unintentional.

      Like

  7. vegan says:

    i see they got communist poofs right.

    Like

    • Bag O'Turnips says:

      Proof conclusive that neither homosexuality nor Communism are religions. A substantial sociological observation by either a subtly subversive overtly hetero liberalist Atheist. Or just a pissed old-school bogan who grew up in the era with “Reds under the bed” McCarthyism, the enduring legacy of the word “Communism” being the only polysyllabic they can spell correctly.

      Like

  8. don smith says:

    Fresh Garlic would be a great name for a horse.

    Like

  9. David cohen says:

    I pity the fool (me) who can’t see Pete’s poster.

    Those damn Himalayas are interfering with my wi-fi again…

    Like

  10. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Off topic but a bouquet to the people who brought you this Multiplex pox on the face of Perth who had a win with their Twilight Hawker Market . Despite sucessfully ridding the city of mobile sausage vendors, She Ra has apparently unearthed an unmet demand for reasonably priced street food that frees you from the vagaries of Perth hospitality providers.

    Reading through the comments, apparently crowds were a bit of an issue. “Vibrancy, you can’t handle the vibrancy!”

    Like

    • Snuff says:

      See ? That wasn’t so difficult, was it ? Long may they hawk. Thanks for the link to the excellent write-up, RWL.

      I’m reminded very much of the fledgling Mindil Beach Markets in Darwin. They began with just half a
      dozen (excellent) intrepid food stalls, looking pretty lonesome down there of a Thursday evening. As word spread and their popularity increased, however, a group of “concerned” businesses from the Smith St Mall went within a bee’s dick of shutting them down forever with onerous legal challenges, claiming that they were impinging on their Thursday evening late-night-shopping custom. The Markets dug in, just survived, and the rest, as they say …

      Like

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