The Bank that lived there

To all the Bankwest staff. Here’s a message from the past, from before it became The Bankwest of Scotland. Start saving. As fast as you can.  Didn’t Colin (asleep at the wheel) Barnett assure you your jobs were safe. “There will be NO, I repeat FEW sackings”.

bankwest

bankwest

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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69 Responses to The Bank that lived there

  1. David Cohen says:

    The bank is open
    To closing the door on you:
    AT(elling)M(ontage).

    Like

  2. David Cohen says:

    Watch out for skimmers:
    They don’t empty your account,
    You clear out your desk!

    Like

  3. David Cohen says:

    Easy Bank arrows
    Push my fucking buttons and
    Rural my money.

    Like

  4. WordPress was ordered to put this up at 3am tomorrow not now! Stop looking at it until tomorrow. The machines have turned on me.

    Like

  5. Frank Calabrese says:

    Has Bankwest employed Patti Chong do do voiceovers of Sunflowers ?

    Like

  6. I said stop looking.

    Like

  7. David Cohen says:

    Judgement Day on Teh Worst:
    Terminate the funny-man.
    Aussie Tug Merchant

    Like

  8. Paracleet says:

    Needs a not worst tag too i’d say

    Like

  9. Snuff says:

    I was once so desperate to escape from the private school I was imprisoned at that I secretly applied for a job at the Rough and Ignorant, as my mate who later worked there used to call it. It went horrifyingly well until they knocked me back for being colourblind.

    p.s. Looking forward to the bonus post.

    Like

    • Frank Calabrese says:

      Remember when the R&I were sponsors of It’s Academic with Jeff “No 19 Mr Newman” a saying that he got lumbered for many years that he was pissed off by it ?

      Seven briefly revived it in the 90’s, early 2000’s and of course Bankwest was the sponsor as well.

      Can’t find either version, but here is the current incarnation for Primary School kids hosted by former Perthite Simon reeve.

      Like

      • Snuff says:

        Could I have the question again please, Mr Calabrese ?

        Like

        • Frank Calabrese says:

          I Tells Ya, we’ve just written a segment for Ch 7’s 50th Birthday Special – the Worst of TVW – come on LA, between myself, Vic Demised and your good self we could produce a great segment :-)

          Your Mission, if you choose to accept it is to pitch this to Reece Whitby :-)

          Like

          • What exactly do you want me to do?

            Like

            • Frank Calabrese says:

              Contact Mr Whitby with the idea for a segment covering the not so great moments in TVW’s histroy, ie Fat Cat with a Rabbitt down his gob, Vic demised egging the Cat while Juggling, Anything Goes with Peter Dean & John Fryer, Martin & Watts Jenny Seaton’s various programs, Sattler’s attempts at Journalism :-)

              Like

              • zoot says:

                What, did Sooky try journalism at some time?

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                • Frank Calabrese says:

                  I’m referring to his editorials and special reports on Today Tonight – plus his famous striptease in the Telethon Phone Room with Tony Murphy & Lionel Yorke

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                  • Bill O'Slatter says:

                    Better off using the Party’s influence on Whitby , Frank and smuggle the pooper scooped blooper tape out for YouTube. I suspect however that Channel 7’s attitude to its history is much like Hitlers , all the many failures erased.

                    Like

          • ratbag23 says:

            I used to have a Beta tape of TVW 7’s 25 years of television, man I would kill to have that back again. There were some fucking great clips from “In Perth Tonight”. So bad it was good. They used to mime to hit records of the day. THAT was variety – screw GraGra and his ten piece orchestra and dancing girls.

            I still have a tape of their 30 years of TV show, but that was piss weak, other than a screening of the first episode of Number 96 in its entirety.

            Like

            • Frank Calabrese says:

              Actually it was Club 17 which had the miming to the Hits of the Day – I have some audio of Johnny Young counting down the Top 10 in 1965 and Kim Newman mimes Hang On Sloopy – it’s scoped (ie only the start and end are played)and it also features Johnny getting embarresed by a letter from a fan, and features 1 and a half numbers by the Spektors, eaturing Bon Scott on Drums – a bit of Yesterday, and the entire rendition of Gloria – got it in my collection of old airchecks from Steve Gordon.

              Like

              • Snuff says:

                Of whom, Frank, it would be remiss of me not to again mention as at least one particularly notable exception to John Ryan’s observation below.

                Like

                • Frank Calabrese says:

                  I agree – Steve is the only decent broadcaster – even Bob Maumill is past his use by date – and his revelation of Rob Broadfield being the new Inside Cover editor was broken here first anyway – and he praised Paul Murray for having well researched articles ?

                  Like

                  • What about Tony serve after midnight on 6PR? He seems a reasonable fellow.

                    Those on twitter can follow him. He’s

                    perthtones

                    Like

                    • Frank Calabrese says:

                      Tony’s not too bad though I do prefer his work on this :-)

                      I know the Cammera operator, he lives up the road and the some scenes were shot at his place :-)

                      Like

                    • shazza says:

                      I followed Tony for a short while, seemed like a lovely fella. But then blocked him as he was getting in the way of the funnier twitters from Tim Minchin, Stephen Fry etal

                      Like

              • ratbag23 says:

                No, this was definitely IPT. Gary Carvolth and a few other people in dodgy turbans miming to a song called “Maharajah Of Pagador” (sp?)

                Also another clip with Gary at the desk with special guest Mavis Bramston.

                Like

                • Frank Calabrese says:

                  Ahh, now I recall it – it was the 21st Birthday special from 1980 – that had lots of good clips that weren’t in the 30th Anniversary special hosted by Johnny Young, which I do have on tape.

                  The 21st Birthday one had interviews with former staffers as well.

                  Re Nuner 96, that was part of a series of late night specials on a Saturday Night hosted by Peter Dean, and included an episode of Spellbound with Martin St James and featured Max Kay doing an Al Jolson Medley, and Tod’s Dad Kevan and his female partner dancing to The Impossible Dream, complete with record skip.

                  Like

                  • Bento says:

                    “Max Kay doing an Al Jolson Medley”

                    Seven words to strike fear into even the stoutest of hearts.

                    That sounds like possibly the greatest piece of television I’ve never seen.

                    Like

            • Frank Calabrese says:

              Speaking of In Perth Tonight, here itr is mentioned by it’s Director Keith Mackenzie from the excellent WA Television History Page blog, set up for Seven’s 50th Anniversary.

              http://watvhistory.com/2009/03/keith-mackenzie/

              Like

            • Frank Calabrese says:

              Which was featured on tonight’s Ch 7 the First 50 years special.

              Like

      • ratbag23 says:

        The revival of It’s Academic in the early Noughties was tragic. On the wide shot, the illuminated scores of the three teams were so piddly that you couldn’t even read them, thereby defeating the purpose of having a wide shot of the three schools in the first place. And Jeff Newman, gawd, what a fluffer. A couple of toe-curlingly embarrassing examples:

        Jeff:
        School kid:
        Jeff: No, that’s incorrect (pause) sorry, that’s correct.

        Jeff: You have sixty seconds to answer as many questions as you can. Are you ready? Your time starts… now! (clock starts ticking, five second pause)

        And speaking of TVW 7 productions, what was that little game show segment Chris Mainwaring used to host in the 90s? There was a board of crappy flashing perspex squares illuminated from behind, and a contestant would press a button, whereupon a dated wooden kalimba gliss sound-effect would play, and the lights would stop on one of the squares. I used to turn the colour down on the TV set and, hey presto! Back to the 70s! Uncanny!

        Like

  10. techgremlin says:

    I still have one of these, in fact it’s right next to me

    Like

  11. John Ryan says:

    Glad you said attempts Frank I think that applys to 6pr across the board

    Like

  12. Grrr says:

    I miss these machines.
    They had a certain charm.

    I had my R&I ATM card for years after the transition, then they stole it from me and lumbered me with some horrid blue card.

    Got my new card last week, it’s some sort of horrid, limp sunset artwork.

    Like

    • shazza says:

      Grrr I received one of those horrid cards this week too. I knew the writing was on the wall once the Commonwealth Bank took over.

      Like

  13. Grrr says:

    PS: Where’s today’s post?

    Like

  14. This was today’s. WordPress published it early.

    Like

  15. Pingback: Queens Hotel Bonus Post « The Worst of Perth

  16. Grrr says:

    A question that has been bugging me all day:
    Why ‘The bank that lives there’ and not ‘The bank that lived here’?

    Like

    • Frank Calabrese says:

      Because the original slogan used by the bank for many years was “The Bank That Lives Here”.

      Though why Bankwest didn’t check their Gaydar when they decided to use Go west to relaunch the bank remains a mystery, plus they had the gall to use a Boy soprano from the East – though the rest of the talent was from WA.

      Like

      • Grrr says:

        I recall the original slogan…. and the japes about the Gay Octopus…. which was quite hilarious until BHP Billiton stole and flipped the GLAAD logo for their own.

        And, in their defense, I didn’t realise ‘Go West’ was a gay anthem until well after the Pet Shop Boys did their cover.

        But I’m still bitter we lost the R&I at all, and that Keating sold the Commonwealth.
        Stupid Keating.

        Like

        • Frank Calabrese says:

          Though it should noted that this is the second Village People song to suffer from a Gaydar Malfunction – the US Navy had produced and almost released a TV ad based on In The Navy, until they were advised about the inappropriateness of the song – it was the same with YMCA..

          And of course who can forget Ch 7 News using Bronksi Beat’s Why – a song about discovering one’s homosexuality, great choice for a TV Channel with supposedly Family Values.

          Like

    • I was going “lived there” as in Scotland, aka Sconnie Botland. Where Flora McKitchen could do her banking.

      Like

  17. poor lisa says:

    Did R&I become the challenge bank? They had the worst yuppie themed ad campaign ever. I remember people at the cinema chucking stuff at the screen when it came on.

    Like

    • Frank Calabrese says:

      Nope, Challenge was originally Perth Building Societywhich of course featured the previously discussed PBS Squirrel Club featuring Sally Squirrel. Challenge Bank was later taken over by Westpac who kept the brand alive till a couple of years ago and then rebranded them as Westpac Banks.

      Like

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