Vote 1 Emo Simpkins

Finally The Worst of Perth has a candidate to get behind. Thanks Rehana. Lovely hair work. Pity it wasn’t earlier. Could have had old Emo involved Nukem Buckels Style. This defacer has taken about 15 years off Emo’s age by the look of his website. He actually looks a whole lot better here. Location? Alexander Heights. Favourite band? My Chemical Bromance.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst graffiti, worst politician and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

122 Responses to Vote 1 Emo Simpkins

  1. shazza says:

    Brilliant. Laugh out loud brilliant.

    About time we had some political pie to sink our teeth into.
    I was in Wilson Tuckey territory yesterday and now wish I’d done to same to one of his posters.

    Can I just add, I have already sent off my postal vote, and really struggled on who to put last. There are so many loony fringe options.


  2. bleh says:

    Haha, awesome.


  3. Bento says:

    Magnificent. What a refreshing change from the Hitler moustache and devil horns. I could definitely get behind this.

    How naive we were, tittering at Natasha Stott-Despoja’s Doctor Martens. Wait till the House gets an eyeful of Emo Simpkins’s gigantic pants with fluoro plastic all over them.


  4. WAtching says:

    Finally a contender to go up against ‘Our Troy’

    Is that lawn registered?

    Or do we have crack dens here in Perth?


  5. WAtching says:

    You’re right TLA. That Celebrity Makeover is amazing.

    Whoever you are, please drop us a line. I am looking for a new stylist.


  6. rolly says:

    The “modifier” did no more to the poster image than the original photographer did to reality.
    On the website header Luke appears as a warm and friendly character with a lot of personality; almost handsome. What a deviance from fact.
    Clever cropping, too, to minimise the effect of the flies landing ground.


  7. orbea says:

    if he doesnt win he’ll start cutting


  8. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Under a Liberal government no front lawn will go un-mowed. Even in Alexander Heights.

    What even qualifies for “Heights” in Perth? 30m above sea level??


    • orbea says:

      The local residents – back in the day – lobbied long and hard for the name of Alexander Heights, previously it was Alinjarra, but that has too many associations to blackfellas, so the upwardly mobile mid 1980’s wankeurs and wankeuses forced the change, then they left to live in Mandurah/Mandjar.



  9. David Cohen says:

    As you are boycotting my election night party, TLA, will you be liveblogging the count?


  10. Pete says:

    Reminds me of these happy souls


  11. orbea says:

    ACKA – Jason Akermanis is sitting in Riffo’s in Maylands right now.
    He’s there with his ‘special friend’ – who is a bear.


  12. WAtching says:

    BTW- love the new tweet TLA. Now that be some classic news feed action.


  13. greggo says:

    Christ, why not. Anything is worth a shot in the desperate Perthy petty bourgeous battle for cultural capital. To his credit and of course totally essentially he hasn’t lived overseas or Over East for extended periods thereby ruling him out of any public office including office parties FOR FUCKING EVER as a traitorous cunt etc etc for upping the bet so terrifyingly high that the other players must meekly pass, do a a watery shit in their pants, or do a “I don’t want you to invite your old mate around again, he’s just soo soo…up himself! But baby I have known him since school! HE HAS DEPRECIATED OUR HOUSE 500000 BUCKS WITH HIS MERE PRESENCE, DUMBFUQUE! OK OK he’s out then baby.” etc etc!


  14. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Note how close to, if not on, the Boulevard of Broken Worsts.


  15. Thought we might have got the perpetrator owning up here. I’d still like to hear from the plonker who tagged the palm frond too.


  16. The Legend 101 says:

    I bet some dumb kid did it, Oh wow thats the new Micheal Keenan.


  17. The Legend 101 says:

    Oh maybe its his Wife LOL considering its a lady.


  18. valerie woodruffe says:

    LOL where is the Hitler moustache? Simpkins must have plucked it unlike Julie Hon Member for Curtains fuzzy blonde (or is it grey) moustache.

    Are you going to shave your tash off Vegan next year for charity?


  19. Pingback: Inside the Liberal team | The Worst of Perth

  20. Bento says:

    TWOP-endorsed Emo Simpkins is going to bring down the government! TLA is the new Rupert Murdoch.


    • Rolly says:

      Running scared already, they probably realise that any more Toxic Tony’s blundering could seriously affect the Libs chances in the next elections; State and Federal.
      The Guardian’s readers’ comments are always a source of wry amusement.
      First Dog On The Moon’s cartoons are pretty much on the mark, too, I reckon.


    • RubyRuby says:

      So, he has “been inundated with emails” and so was pushed to take action.

      I have been emailing this sucker about various things since his party got into power – questions about immigration, foreign aid, the Great Barrier Reef, public transport infrastructure etc, and despite wording them as carefully as possible, not even an auto generated response. Then again, he has cut back on the fridge magnets after my requests a few years ago.

      But any of these issues… and nothing. Some squabbling as to who wants to lose the next election… and he jumps?!

      What should anyone expect when he can’t tell the difference between nightclub promotion and Islamic extremism?


    • Snuff says:

      Kevin Andrews meltdown.


  21. you'll get wet says:

    Emo could be in a spot of bother. Not long after Morrison jets in to Myanmar to grease palms to help them protect their borders [and take Rohingya asylum seekers fleeing genocide in Rakhine back] Emo illegally crosses the border to support armed rebs, and tells everyone he’ll be reporting back to Bishop. Clear to see who he’s working for.


  22. Bento says:

    In The Guardian this morning. Emo really is a simpleton, isn’t he.

    Meanwhile, down in the federation chamber, members are debating the vexed issue of heavy school bags. There is a motion before the chamber which deplores the practice of young people carrying heavy school bags.

    West Australian Liberal Luke Simpkin thinks believes it is time to introduce the wheelie bag. Coag must become involved.

    Here is the motion, lest you think I’m having a lend.

    Mr Simpkins, pursuant to notice, moved — That this House:

    (1) notes that every school day across Australia, school students are carrying heavy school bags on their way to and around schools and this poses a risk to the long term health of young people in Australia;

    (2) acknowledges that reference sources are an important part of the curriculum and for individual courses; and

    (3) encourages the Australian and state and territory governments to:

    (a) replace hard copy reference books with CD and thumb drive versions of reference materials to lighten the load of students and reduce the incidences of muscular and skeletal injuries to the developing bodies of school students; and

    (b) set a target timeline for the replacement of reference materials for school students.


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