I haven’t posted this before, because my shot from the bus window was tres blurry. I have been meaning to go back to bolster the category “Shithouse doors.” But Martin makes such a strong case for its worstness, that I put it up anyway. Martin does have some TWOP credit anyhow, as he is the one who dubbed Lisa Scaffidi She-Ra.He’s got some artisitics to view here too. Condor is on Adelaide Terrace.
To make up for the blurry one, I have added another metal door I took a shot of. The Scotsman obviously there to deter anyone collecting money for charity. Unabridged, Martin says,
Have you seen the new door, the new FRONT door, of the Condor apartment development?
Probably not, because you have not turned inside out trying to solve the confronting, baffling puzzle that this door embodies. I am bleeding profusely whilst writing this message.
As the entry statement to a jillion dollars worth of glitzy new apartments, you would think that the developer would employ someone other than their year 8 metal-work class taking nephew to build the door.
I’m assuming that’s who made it, what since it looks like a poster for a high school biology project made by a kid who knew he would fail biology anyway, so he spent most of biology project time on his metalwork exam piece. Which he also failed.
Man, is this kid stupid.
The designer attempts to evoke the soaring spirit of the majestic Condor with the two-line-squiggle which is universal shorthand for ‘seagulls’. Brilliant! And the way the door handle evokes the qualities of a squirt of bird shit frozen in flight – inspired!
This door – and excuse me, I have lost of feelings about this door – breaks every design rule in existence. There is no symmetry, no margins, there is no contrast or even cohesion in the choice of materials. Brass and silver? Well, they’re both metals so WHY NOT.
Why not, indeed. This development has been going for ever, there are hundreds of people dying to move in but it doesn’t appear like it will ever get finished. So why the rush on this fucking awful door? (Another image by someone else here)
Yeah. So what you’re saying is that it’s a crap door right? And Martin, I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t call her She-Ra these days.
The Worst of Perth 
The Scotsman also has one of those stupid central doorknobs that made it difficult to open the door that were popular for a while.
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As a kid I loved those central doorknobs. So futuristic.
Now I know better.
I certainly hope that’s Max Kay’s front door.
I can’t get overly concerned about this Condor place unless there’s some funky jazz club going in behind it where the Perthonalities are vacuous and the drinks are still at boom prices. It also needs a much wittier name…. like Box or Fuche.
That said, it looks like an unfinished doodle, bad street art, and…. why is it called Condor? Does it soar majestically above the city — or is it what it says, a good old 1980s style Perth swindle? A monument to debt that will never be complete (like that unfinished nightclub I seem to recall in Northbridge).
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If that were Max Kaye’s front door, surely the Scotsman’s kilt would be humourously caught on some object, thereby lifting said kilt.
The ‘Condor’ font appears to have been traced straight out of The Lettering Book, like so many school projects. The four lonely buildings in the corner make me sad.
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Don t be sad … Those four buildings represent local urban vibrancy awaiting a pounce !
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You going back 6 years and more?
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“I have extensive files.”
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What’s not to love about a central knob?
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Apart from the dificulty in opening the door, nothing.
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He seems to be inflating his sporran with the pipes. Could be Max’s.
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$36 ? Naw, don’t talk mince, ya store dug bampot.
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You’ve been conned. It’s not a door. It’s a high class gold con. A Con d’Or.
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Condor could be just the kid who designed it didn’t know it was meant to be Condo…as in Condo(r)minium.
And as the owners sing in the great Engelbert way ….
Tell me when will you be mine
Tell me condo condo condo
We can share a love divine
Please don”t make me wait again
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have you seen Ben O’Shea’s new photo byline on the Worst website ?
he is wearing spectacles, and is carefully adjusting them in a bid to look intelligent.
ain’t foolin’ nobody.
what a cunt.
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You know, I do feel bad complaining so loudly about this awful, awful door because I’m also contributing to the Condor carpark — there’s a whole bucketload of artists (street art/graffiti – whatever you’d prefer to call it) who have been given open slather to “decorate” the blank concrete walls of the underground carpark.
It’s a really awesome initiative on the part of the developer, very un-Perth, and there’s some really great art in there.
But that door, that DOOR! It makes my skin crawl.
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If we pass the TWOP hat around, we could make it worth your while to ‘improve’ the door, Martin.
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I don’t know what you’re alluding to with those suspicious quotation marks, but it wouldn’t take much to ‘improve’ on this so-called door.
Removing the door, for instance.
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Something along those lines, yes.
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How about a large M sticker placed over the R? That would highlight the joke that this door must be.
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How about just removing all the letters except ‘N’ and ‘O’?
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No, but how bad is the carpark art? I’m going back there tomorrow. Can it really stand comparison with the door?
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The carpark is mostly a work in progress, a lot of unfinished stuff down there. There’s a lot of good stuff so far though; it’s hard to tell if the not-so-good stuff is finished or not. In the ends it’s likley to boil down to personal taste. The space itself is a total trash pile, though – full of construction rubble and bits and pieces.
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Will this “slather” make it onto The Worst of Perth. I expect it will.
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Oh, and sorry if the typo was in the source, but I meant to say I have ‘lots’ of feelings about the door, not ‘lost’. :P
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Nate has the car park featured over on his awesome Perth6000 blog.
Apparently the car park will be open to the public this Saturday night.
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I tried to post the link, but kept getting a message telling me it was discarded…
http://perth6000.blogspot.com/2009/07/perths-best-art-gallery-condor-carpark.html
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Bento .use tinyurl.com to shorten the link. WordPress has trouble with long links.
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..cheers Bento…
also, if it hasn’t been mentioned, the door is baaaack…
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A stroke of genius to keep them off the streets for a year.
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I agree with your comments about the front door – it looks f@cken shit and lets get the developers to clear all their rubbish and replace all the problems we are having.
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I hate the car park ‘art’
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I love the scottish door knob and the star doorbell buts whast going on with the door in the middle of no where.
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