Condor & The Scotsman

I haven’t posted this before, because my shot from the bus window was tres blurry. I have been meaning to go back  to bolster the category “Shithouse doors.” But Martin makes such a strong case for its worstness, that I put it up anyway. Martin does have some TWOP credit anyhow, as he is the one who dubbed Lisa Scaffidi She-Ra.He’s got some artisitics to view here too. Condor is on Adelaide Terrace.

To make up for the blurry one, I have added another metal door I took a shot of. The Scotsman obviously there to deter anyone collecting money for charity. Unabridged, Martin says,

Have you seen the new door, the new FRONT door, of the Condor apartment development?
Probably not, because you have not turned inside out trying to solve the confronting, baffling puzzle that this door embodies. I am bleeding profusely whilst writing this message.
As the entry statement to a jillion dollars worth of glitzy new apartments, you would think that the developer would employ someone other than their year 8 metal-work class taking nephew to build the door.
I’m assuming that’s who made it, what since it looks like a poster for a high school biology project made by a kid who knew he would fail biology anyway, so he spent most of biology project time on his metalwork exam piece. Which he also failed.
Man, is this kid stupid.
The designer attempts to evoke the soaring spirit of the majestic Condor with the two-line-squiggle which is universal shorthand for ‘seagulls’. Brilliant! And the way the door handle evokes the qualities of a squirt of bird shit frozen in flight – inspired!
This door – and excuse me, I have lost of feelings about this door – breaks every design rule in existence. There is no symmetry, no margins, there is no contrast or even cohesion in the choice of materials. Brass and silver? Well, they’re both metals so WHY NOT.
Why not, indeed. This development has been going for ever, there are hundreds of people dying to move in but it doesn’t appear like it will ever get finished. So why the rush on this fucking awful door?  (Another image by someone else here)

Yeah. So what you’re saying is that it’s a crap door right? And Martin, I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t call her She-Ra these days.


About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
This entry was posted in worst design, worst objects and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Condor & The Scotsman

  1. The Scotsman also has one of those stupid central doorknobs that made it difficult to open the door that were popular for a while.


  2. Grrr says:

    As a kid I loved those central doorknobs. So futuristic.
    Now I know better.
    I certainly hope that’s Max Kay’s front door.

    I can’t get overly concerned about this Condor place unless there’s some funky jazz club going in behind it where the Perthonalities are vacuous and the drinks are still at boom prices. It also needs a much wittier name…. like Box or Fuche.

    That said, it looks like an unfinished doodle, bad street art, and…. why is it called Condor? Does it soar majestically above the city — or is it what it says, a good old 1980s style Perth swindle? A monument to debt that will never be complete (like that unfinished nightclub I seem to recall in Northbridge).


  3. He seems to be inflating his sporran with the pipes. Could be Max’s.


  4. birdboot says:

    You’ve been conned. It’s not a door. It’s a high class gold con. A Con d’Or.


  5. Groucho says:

    Condor could be just the kid who designed it didn’t know it was meant to be Condo…as in Condo(r)minium.

    And as the owners sing in the great Engelbert way ….

    Tell me when will you be mine
    Tell me condo condo condo
    We can share a love divine
    Please don”t make me wait again


  6. skink says:

    have you seen Ben O’Shea’s new photo byline on the Worst website ?

    he is wearing spectacles, and is carefully adjusting them in a bid to look intelligent.

    ain’t foolin’ nobody.

    what a cunt.


  7. Martin says:

    You know, I do feel bad complaining so loudly about this awful, awful door because I’m also contributing to the Condor carpark — there’s a whole bucketload of artists (street art/graffiti – whatever you’d prefer to call it) who have been given open slather to “decorate” the blank concrete walls of the underground carpark.

    It’s a really awesome initiative on the part of the developer, very un-Perth, and there’s some really great art in there.

    But that door, that DOOR! It makes my skin crawl.


  8. Martin says:

    Oh, and sorry if the typo was in the source, but I meant to say I have ‘lots’ of feelings about the door, not ‘lost’. :P


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  10. Bento says:

    Nate has the car park featured over on his awesome Perth6000 blog.

    Apparently the car park will be open to the public this Saturday night.


  11. Bento says:

    I tried to post the link, but kept getting a message telling me it was discarded…


  12. NVLII says:

    ..cheers Bento…

    also, if it hasn’t been mentioned, the door is baaaack…


  13. Snuff says:

    A stroke of genius to keep them off the streets for a year.


  14. Mia says:

    I agree with your comments about the front door – it looks f@cken shit and lets get the developers to clear all their rubbish and replace all the problems we are having.


  15. Taz says:

    I hate the car park ‘art’


  16. The Legend 101 says:

    I love the scottish door knob and the star doorbell buts whast going on with the door in the middle of no where.


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