Knock’er Off

More clearing the backlog of submissions, but this one is astounding. This apparition, complete with nappy is in Belmont, the home of a few worsts in it’s time. This one is from Mulberry. Mulberry went on to condemn pointy knobs on houses as a worst architectural feature. I’m not actually anti knob Mully, but I have to respect your maiden with the knockers, so maybe you do know what you are talking about.

About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
This entry was posted in worst architecture, worst sculpture and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

78 Responses to Knock’er Off

  1. Nettie says:

    That maiden has had an effect on me that very rarely happens.

    It seems I’m completely lost for words…

    What the?


  2. I came for the knockers – but I stayed for the nappy.


  3. Rolly says:

    Got it wrapped??

    (Ye Gods, Humans are so.o..oo…ooooooooo dumb )


  4. David Cohen says:

    Spectacular! This blog plumbs new lows every week. I wonder if this was $1150 from Waldecks as well? A shame she doesn’t have a face and her hands look like lion paws…I guess the sculptor made the breast of a bad job?


  5. tomthrett says:

    golly. good choice with the last one. its a fineal. the darling of the project home designer. people of balcatta unite, rip off your poorly glued pine sticks and burn them!! i hate fineals more than anything. they are the most useless( now) and over done feature ever. DIE. also see eggplant feature walls.


    • RubyRuby says:

      There’s an incredible piece of mock Tudory along the beach road up the northern beaches – somewhere north of Mullaloo. Sorry that I’m not more specific, will have to pull over and clock it properly next time.


  6. Hey Tom! I haven’t been over to your side for a while. Must make the time. Good to hear from you.


  7. Juffy says:

    I think the real question is, what the hell is she doing with the pot? She’s got a grudge against roses (hogging all the glory in peoples’ front gardens, not leaving enough room for bogan sculpture?) and she’s about to bean the one in front of her?


  8. squib says:

    Oh how I hate gable finials – that one is particularly dismal, held on by a piece of hose pipe. Oh dear oh dear


  9. Tony T says:

    She looks like she’s waiting for her drunken, abusive husband statue.


  10. She’s sending out mixed messages Tony.


  11. Juffy says:

    LA – clearly. When a statue says ” “, she really means ” “.


  12. Weighed down by a pair of balls. In order to pay sufficient attention to the centre of attention certain other aspects of this artwork had to be neglected eg. legs , knees , bum , face , a reasonable sense of human geometry etc No doubt another “promising ” and “aspiring” “Perth artist”.


  13. Look at all those gravatars. Very attractive. I wish all the small ones would work. Nettie, are you connected to Howling Wolf Wines?


  14. David Cohen says:

    Juffy she is bathing. sluicing away whatever’s in the nappy.


  15. Juffy says:

    David – makes sense, in a “I ran out of ideas for a water feature” kinda way.


  16. richard says:

    Sculptures like this will always have their knockers… btw, the “doily” curtains in the background have a certain je ne sais quoi too.


  17. Bento says:

    Phwoar. You don’t get many of them to the pound, gaffer.


  18. tomthrett says:

    thanks la. your welcome at my place any time!


  19. David Cohen says:

    Do people titter as they walk past? Or, trying to hold in laughter, do they bust?


  20. flynn says:

    Wasn’t the finial was added to stop unwanted visitors (spirits/witches) landing on your roof and affecting the harmony of you abode? but only on gables it seems. Bet you they dont work for Jehovahs Witnesses and why the bad guys couldn’t fly through a window or door I don’t know.
    Personally I much prefer the terracotta dragons through-out Mt Lawley.


  21. flynn says:

    Hey LA have you noticed that I am time travelling – I can type this now at “7:40” ,an hour into the future whilst here in suburban Perth it is still only 6:40 -even though some say Perth is one decade behind any-way so what is another hour.


  22. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Hey LA have you noticed that I am time travelling – I can type this now at “7:40″ ,an hour into the future whilst here in suburban Perth it is still only 6:40 -even though some say Perth is one decade behind any-way so what is another hour.]

    It’s worse on wiliam Bowe’s Pollbludger site, his timestamp is 3 hours ahead.

    I think they are on EDT, and the rest of country don’t change back till the weekend.


  23. EDT is Eastern Demon Time? You’re saying you want me to change the time?


  24. Frank Calabrese says:

    [EDT is Eastern Demon Time? ]

    Eastern DAYLIGHT Time :-)

    [You’re saying you want me to change the time?]

    Basically yes, we would like to post in local time :-)


  25. Mat B says:

    No wonder she’s stooped over. That’s one impressive (clay) rack!


  26. Golden1 says:

    Do you think she is related to the busty big cat?


  27. meccano101 says:

    Is there a correlation between breast size and arm length in women? She certainly doesn’t need to crouch to put that pot down, her hands would practically touch the ground if her arms were by her side.


  28. Zarquon says:

    Her breasts are growing out of her armpits!


  29. Exactly. And those arms would drag on the ground.


  30. B. Texan says:

    Does someone have a long arm fetish? Check the length of the pair in Alsatian Rampant…


  31. meccano101 says:

    Texan, interesting you should mention Alsations Rampant. I also noticed the connection.
    In fact Hokusan and I were discussing the possibility that this sculpture is intended to be in a forward horizontal position so that her vessel – so to speak – was upward. In this position, combined with her unusually long arms, you could certainly argue that both artist were of the same school.
    If nothing else, at least she may collect enough some change from a passer-by to buy some better underwear.


  32. B. Texan says:

    And they both have 3 jugs.


  33. Rewey says:

    Ahh… the finial. It was once considered a show-piece of craftsmanship – a piece of fine wood-working to adorn the front of your abode. I think the class fell out of the idea when they started using aluminium tubing and pine slats as cheap and easy replacements.

    I mean, they haven’t even plugged the ends of the tubing or concealed the screws holding it to the barge board, for goodness sake! And they’ve trimmed the pine to fit around the ridge capping, instead of the other way around!


  34. I notice you avoid mentioning the oversized jugs rewey


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  37. The Legend 101 says:

    I know a great house in Dianella it dosent have that but it has a cute little fish pond and 100 gnomes around it. Its nice and thats a horrible statue.


  38. The Legend 101 says:

    How do i post a article to this website i want to post that houses backyard.


  39. The Legend 101 says:

    oh i send it to this website thankyou.


  40. The Legend 101 says:

    Bento are you refering to me as a little S… well you know maybe im plotting on you.


  41. The Legend 101 says:

    I emailed to the


  42. The Legend 101 says:

    i did that the lazy aussie im sure i can send a Email.


  43. Good that this piece from nearly 3 years ago is getting more love. I wonder if it’s still there. Thanks 101 for bringing it back into focus.


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