I get sent so many cars that it almost needs its own blog. Firstly from Chris seen in Cannington. The other day some knob sent in a comment about the Fuck off we’re full stickers saying how with Rudd’s flood of illegal immigrants it is no wonder that people put these stickers on. Please, fuck off you’re full of it. Racist cunt. Like the guy who tried to convince me of the wisdom of Wilson Tuckey. Dude, you’re a fucken idiot. And this sticker seems to take moronism to another level.
A far more satisfying classic worst from Sarah who has just returned from a year in L.A. And I don’t mean Lazy Aussie. If I remember correctly, Sarah was responsible for sending in the Yanchep monstrosities. maybe it’s best that I don’t show what printing company it is, or we might get all those “That’s my dad’s stretched shit heap, and how dare you…” 
And another from Mark0, which is just fantastic. Lovely car, and like the Roller seen before, why not take 2 bays if those are your wheels? I know I would. How can I swap the Camry for this?
And just to keep my own hand in, a shot of a van with possibly hand painted zebra stripes.
The Worst of Perth 
AWOL FIFO? Good to see you BTFW on those types, TLA.
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Yeah seriously these people are just a disgrace and too stupid to see how stupid such a sticker is. They actually had a ‘f8ck off we’re full sticker ‘on the other side as if their first point wasn’t made. What is this ‘aussie way of life?’ being a dickhead?
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Aren’t those vans used by Perth Zoo? If so, it’s quite reasonable that they would have zebra stripes.
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Looked a bit too dilapidated for the zoo. But maybe.
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And shouldn’t it be awol fiOfo?
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exactly, I read it as…. Aussie Way Of Life, Fly In Fly Out
pretty much sums up West Australian mining life :)
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The batmobile is obviously parked in the middle of the two bays for the safety of other cars.
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I don’t understand, why have the abreviation then spell it out underneath? Worried People are going to read it as ‘Absent without leave – Fly in fly out’?
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Because, if it was read First In First Out, then we would have to get rid of the tossers with the stickers
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The zebra stripes do a magnificent of disguising the urban collateral damage.
You know the sort of minor panel reshaping that goes on in shopping centre carparks as a result of encountering the kind of fuckwit/fuckwitess who has no concept of how to guide a shopping trolley, and even less of an idea of how to drive a couple of tons of plastic and metal.
The odd bit of industrial cancer and blobby attempts to cover up the holes and tears of outrageous misfortune (urban lifestyle [now there’s an oxymoron], that is) are also less obvious to the eyes of the otherwise preoccupied representatives of the law.
Makes it significantly less visible in the pissing rain too, which may well add to the development of flat spots on the tyres and the succeeding, uncomfortable, ‘bump, bump, bump,’ as they proceed on their journey in blissful ignorance, cursing every other driver for failing to concede them their rightful precedence at intersections and round-abouts.
Headlights, turn on my headlights, in broad daylight when I can see perfectly well without them?? And risk flattening the battery which I haven’t got around to replacing despite the need to park on a sloping surface each time I stop the motor??
“There’s no accountin’ for folk”
Stupid fucking humanity and its propensity for endowing me generously with its infinite malevolence…….
I have an acute case of the lurgy acquired from my last shopping trip amongst the coughing, sneezing and spitting zombies masquerading as homo sapiens.
Fuck them/you all.
Happy Monday.
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Coz, of course, there’s only one truly Aussie way of life, and it has nothing at all to do with anyone who arrived here any later than 1967.
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Nor after 1788.
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The Aussie way of life may well include burnout pits and nude dashes for cashes.
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no, that’s the b&s way of life.
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Maybe that’s the lazy aussie way of life and there’s something he’s not telling us. He did like the poster, remember.
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And I’m from the wheatbelt. From what I can remember the Aussie way of life a la wheatbelt was whingeing and collecting superphosphate subsidies.
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Why do the red neck wankers always assume that they are the true Aussies? And, have the right to mandate the ‘Aussie Way of Life’ to all and sundry?
Every the Aussies I know, celebrates diversity and tolerance and believes there is plenty of room for all.
So, fit in to that or fuck off you red neck tossers.
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what i would like to see is a van painted as an aboriginal flag, with a fifo sticker on the back.
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Vic Demised, how about an Osborne Park Fit in or fuck off sticker?
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First In First Out.
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Maylands. Love it or leave it. And it’s full.
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What’s it full of?
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Pagina. Full of pagina.
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Beautiful batmobile, TLA, yet I wish they’d parked it just a touch right to perfect the symmetry. Having said that, it’s still no Austin 1100 (complete with personalised Lazy Aussie plates). Respect to those Turks. Not only do they murder the James Bond Theme, but we get a happy ending too.
The van’s not too shabby either, but again, it’s no Zafari Art.
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You know we’ve had zafari before right?
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Yep, hence the it’s link.
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Oh, I missed that. Are you going to hit the Pagina next time you’re in nagoya?
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There’s every chance, TLA, or I might check out their brand new place in Shinbashi, Tokyo.
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Nothing could be finer than dining in Pagina.
Make sure you send in your review Snuff. There should be plenty of potential for salacious inuendo and word play.
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Will do, shaz, although I mentioned on Saturday that I guessed I’d have to go down to Nagoya, yet nary a nibble in reply.
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You’re not going to open with that are you?
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For obvious reasons, TLA, I always prefer to leave the comedy to the professionals.
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at least you didn’t go with the smell of anchovies emanating from a pagina.
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Hi All,
Ive been thinking that if I see a car parked in 2 bays Im going to park right up next to the drivers door so they cant get in, hopefully someone would do the same thing on the other side.
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bradc you might want to think twice if the double parked car is sporting the above sticker. Anyone who feels entitled or comfortable driving around with that message on their car may well be a psychopath. At the very least he/she is a confirmed fuckwit.
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I assume that plonker also has DILLIGAF on the front of their hatewagon.
If your comedy is best encapsulated in a mass-produced sticker, chances are you’re not as funny as you think you are.
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not patriotic enough to buy an Australian built car, I note.
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I suspect the sticker manufacturer may also be of questionable ethnicity.
Who said bumkins don’t do irony?
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I hope you’re not telling me that the sticker may be oriental in origin? Ai Ya! Say it aint so!
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Design, manufacture, distribution and sale were most likely all undertaken by forrins, if I know my $2 Shop business model.
Installation was probably the only aspect managed by a ‘real’ Australian. The sticker appears to be crooked.
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Notice there’s no Paul Murray talk since he’s on the ABC doing mornings. Sounds ike a strangled chicken.
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indeed, who let that fucker back on the radio?
I heard the silly arse this morning, interviewing the VP of Woodside about the appalling beat-up about extended trading that The West had put on the front page today.
He plugged himself and The West, which is against their charter. No mention of the little doggie, though.
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While wandering through the Show last week, who do you think I saw and in which pavilion do you think I saw him?
His wife is still looking very good, I should add.
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Either wine pav or animals with large knobs pavilion.
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It was terrier day in the bow-wow pavilion, apparently.
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This morning on 720, he and the useless fat Breakfast cunt used the entirety of the Mornings promo slot to talk about their stupid fucking dogs. Nurry even banged on about Allen Park. I’m starting to wonder if they are deliberately winding us up.
This was after the useless fat Breakfast cunt’s rivetting interview with a bloke who’d made a list on the internet of movies he thinks are bad.
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Hey Bento, any idea what the link is? It would be shame if we have missed any. Mind you, it must have been rivetting radio.
And just when Hutchinson was getting talkback callers to agree that rehabilitation and shorter jail sentences for youth offenders might be a better idea for the future than locking them up longer, looks like we’ve slipped back to the 19th century in one short week. A bit of lateral thinking and we could have got the Bunbury Highway built for half price by making convicts build it with their bare hands.
I think I’ll have a Bex and a lie-down now.
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I hate to bring a touch of reality to what is a satirical site but it would seem obvious that the driver of the Smooth Black Ride has taken up two car parks to stop mindless cunts from opening their doors against it.
Not uncommon in this fair city although the cars are usually HiPo Commodores or Falcons.
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do you think?
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Obviously need some kind of light sarcasm font there.
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Indeed, as we all know the answer to that one, paracleet. It is funnier when they don’t get it, though.
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i don’t know snuff, sometimes it makes me cringe a little on the inside…..
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I understand monkeypants, however once you start advocating for the right to park in two bays if you choose to drive an oversized, yanky, gas guzzler, then youv’e but the bullseye on your own forehead.
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I think mp’s cringe was in reference to contestant Richarbl from Torquay, special subject ‘the bleeding obvious’.
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Yep it was, but he also supports the parking act, which he should lose extra points for.
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Ah. Duly noted.
If we can’t park our oversized, yanky, gas guzzlers over two car bays, the terrorists have won.
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yep, indeed bento – having missed the obvious here a few times myself it is not much fun confirming you are a fuckwit in public view.
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I assumed yours was a compassionate cringe mp, thus my comment.
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thank you shazza! i have tried to drink away that wretched care factor but it eludes even my skillful efforts:)
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Going a little off topic here, monkeypants, I was discussing your blog with another twopper the other day, and the phrase donkey punch was mentioned. Poor Mrs satay, bless her innocent little heart, missed most of the conversation before that but was able to chime in with “oh the poor donkey”
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satay, i hope you did not scar her with any further information!
that post actually made me question my intentions. the idea of punching a lover in the head became a little too graphic for my imagination.
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But the image was very funny!
I waited for a while and scarred her gently. With said information.
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satay, god bless your wife.
but have you tried it out yet?
i’ll add a whole new post on the blog, dedicated purely to you if you decide to give it a whirl.
thanks for the update…. :)
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Ummm look thanks for the offer, but I don’t think I’ll be partaking at this time. To be honest I’d never even considered donkey punching could be a consensual activity. And there I was calling my wife innocent!
And just to clarify, the funny image I was referring to was the ‘literal porn’ pic on your blog, not the graphic one in your head.
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Mongo parks wherever he wants, ss.
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excellent!
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oh yeah. you don’t ever want to connect with those images in my head.
funny, i had immediately assumed it to be consensual
until you just said that.
and yes the pic was cool;)
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exactly snuff.
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p.s. Great AV, by the way, paracleet. I still have this picture disk.
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i was trying to explain aunty jack to my twelve year old daughter last night.
fail.
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Did you explain that Grahame Bond is/was an architect?
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Looking at the lines, isn’t it just too wide to fit in the bay?
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Yes I do. I have seen it done many times and i don’t blame the owner for doing it either judging by the apparent quality of the paintjob and rarity of classic Cadillacs in this country.
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i do believe that tealou solves this whole fifo problem with her alternative stickers found here on her blog:
http://www.contemptforhumanity.com/2009/09/03/these-may-just-take-off/
my vote goes out to “fuck off racist redneck cunt”. completely and totally sums up my personal feelings on this matter.
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Or you could do what I did earlier this year and simply add to teh wordage on the back windscreen so it reads: ‘Fuck off we’re full of racist cunts who drive stupid 4x4s & have small dicks.’
It was difficult to explain to my 10-year-old son who was with me at the time how gratuitous swearing and vandalism are sometimes justified.
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i hope you explained cookster that you were making the world a better place – swearing and vandalism for a higher purpose :)
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Oh, the pain, the #*%!^ing pain, mp.
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ah snuff, you never fail to deliver! :)
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LA, I just twigged to the Monty Python reference. Good doogs.
Y’know. Australia has a lot of desert. Eventually we’re gonna get full. Sure, once urban infill is no longer viable we can trash a shitload more of our coastal regions and build cities for a few more generations.
Interesting dilemma for the pro-immigration, pro-green Green party and those with a similar mindset. Oh, yeah, and we’re gonna have to build some new dams the way we are carrying on.
Pass the popcorn.
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When i was at a Friend’s party about a year ago I noticed a car parked near the house with an AWOL FIFO sticker on it.
It became a a bit of a conversation topic for a bit and my friend told us that he always took great pleasure in hocking a loogie at it everytime he drove past. It then got suggested that perhaps smearing faeces on the car would be more appropriate (and hilarious).
Luckily for the owner no-one had a massive poo brewing that night but nonetheless he would of needed a hose if he wanted to see out of his windscreen the next day.
If anyway who reads this noticed that there car was smeared with poo at the end of last year. Sucked in, ya cunt!
NB: Unfortunately i was experiencing what may have been seen as stage-fright but was really an empty rectum (Gosh did i strain!) that night and could not contribute to the arsenal. Will try and post pictures when i track them down. Also i don’t usually do this kind of thing… i promise.
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Concerning AWOL FIFO.
1. If the “of” is counted as an initial, the “or” should be counted too, so it shows how stupid these people are.
2. As if there is only one way of Australian life. Even Anglo people that have lived here all their life live a multitude of different ways.
3. It’s illegal because theres obscene language in a public place.
4. Australia was built by people coming from other countrys.
If you put this on your car your intelligence is AWOL ( Absent without leave)
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Thankyou Mick for the timely reminder of this thread.
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I am sorry to say it but you are all a bunch of ignorant fools. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I feel very sorry for you people as you are young and stupid. You need to grow up and see the world, this is paradise but not for too much longer.
MULTICULTUARLSM DOES NOT WORK.
———————————
Dear hate filled moron. You have mistaken this blog for 6PR. You are missing Paul Murray. By the way. Apart from TL101 who is 40, this is not a hangout for the young.
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You don’t seem all that sorry, Peter, but thanks anyway.
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you are entitled to your own opinion,
but not your own spelling
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Peter needs a touch of rainmaking.
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Whitch Pete is this ? an wot is a MULTICUnLTUARGaniSM. Is zat like a trianitwontigonglealope ?
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$20 says Peter migrated here less than 10 years ago.
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Unless we’re being treated to the views of one of the poms who was subsidised out here, back in the day?
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i am multicultural and i can spell.
moron.
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I have it on good authority that it’s …
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Thats a racist sticker and I love the Zebra van its design is awsome because I like Zebra’s and Giffarfes.
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trying too hard
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Try as I may I can not make sense of the Caddy. I’m not an expert on them but I thought I was familiar enough to recognize most models. This looks like a custom job somehow. Or perhaps I’m simply not up on my vintage four-ton limousines.
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In any case, I will have to track down a picture of one nearby for you all.
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Yeah….. Australia can solve the asian countries overpopulation problems …..the solution is to just let heaps of them in so they can breed like rabbits….. get welfare payments and make fun of Australian anglo saxon culture, and generally be a burden on tax paying Aussies. Fuck em …. let them fix their own countries… If they think they are so smart, (they come here and study their arses off to get into our unis) then they can fix their countries problems back home. The industrial revolution started with our culture in England/ Western Europe. All we fucken do is give give give to the other countries.. the people who work pay some of the highest taxes!. We give millions of dollars to overseas foreign aid, yet most of the migrants who come here have the hide to call us bogans and lazy. I say fuck em What have those other countries ever done for us???? Fuck em we don’t need them… sorry we’re full.
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I don’t think you really mean it when you say sorry Tony. Just a hunch.
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Tellin it like it is!
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What have the Romans ever done for us?
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a fucking awful default font, oooh and wine
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The aqueduct.
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It’s so hurtful when they make fun of my Anglo-Saxon culture.
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Tony, you are lazy and a bogan, that’s why you get called lazy and a bogan.
Sorry, you are full of shit. Why dont you give your mouth a go and in the other hole put a plug?
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Anglo-Saxon culture destroyed many of the original, and more advanced, British cultures that existed prior to their invasions.
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Never forget
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Howard Sattler’s dying and all the redneck fuckwits are out wandering the streets lost and bewildered, looking for somewhere to vent their racist vitriol and they’ve found this place.
it’s like during the blitz when that bomb accidentally hit the lunatic asylum and all the loonies were staggering out into the street, blinking in the daylight, soiling themselves.
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anAustralian Anglo-Saxon culture?
that’s bound to piss off that enormous number of people descended from Celtic settlers, such as the Prime Minister (Welsh), the Governor General (Scottish), Keating, Kinneally, etc blah blah blah.
I myself am from Norse stock.
Expect a knock on the door from the Fenian Norse and Celtic Brotherhoods, you Germanic twat.
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Anglo-Saxon Perth – the proof against white supremacism.
See also Garden City, Belmont Forum, Rockingham etc
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Midland Gate.
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Yeah nah…
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