Lantern Jawed

Oh Subiaco, you’re always trying to look so cool with your fake lanterns and your two hour parking and your tilt up concrete. Why do you always end up looking like such a dick, with your eaveless mansions and your closing down of anything of actual interest? Poor old Subi. When will someone give you pity sex and then kick you out of the spotlight bedecked ute in Wembley with the words “fuck off you dumb mole” ringing in your violated earholes? When? Seriously, why is every single decision made by anyone in Subiaco always such a fucken disaster? Subiaco, Maylands is laughing at you. By Pete F. Obviously. New category added. Multiple worsts. 

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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57 Responses to Lantern Jawed

  1. Bartender's Skills With a Manhatten says:

    Once again I have no idea what the hell I am looking at. Is the building shown a prison? Is there going to be cladding? Was the streetlight there and then they put this structure behind it?

    BTW, have been worsting north and south. I have a few surprises for you.


  2. vegan says:

    it’s behind a block of flats, i’ve assumed it’s more flat barkeep.

    a truly classic combination of worsts.


  3. Bento says:

    Far be it from me to defend anything within the Post distribution area (particularly the craphole that is Subi), but every building has to have a back, and this one appears to back onto nothing more vibrant than a car park.


    • And a fake lantern.


    • PeteF says:

      So everything should be laneways then Bento? Here is the street view. Still only a carpark but not even an attempt at sympathy with environment.


      • Bento says:

        It looks shithouse at the moment, I concede, but I’m prepared to reserve judgement until the building is finished. What ‘sympathy with the environement’ do you want for a car park? I’d say a blank wall is exactly the right amount of sympathy to show a car park.

        The City ought to improve the interface between the car park and the public realm (ie where your streetview photographer is standing), but that’s nothing to do with the development on the abutting site.


        • The lantern will mark it as shithouse whatever happens. Even a Cocos hedge couldn’t save it with that lantern.


        • rottobloggo says:

          “Interface”? “Abutting”? Sheesh.


        • PeteF says:

          Bento I agree on the reservation of judgement. Also it is the correct amount of sympathy for a car park. I also believe Hovean is correct in the vision for the future of the carpark. All of these things confirm the approaching death of Subi.
          None of this reduces the offence I feel that where I went from walking up a street that was relatively open, albeit full of cars, in which I could look up & see the endless blue sky & hope that perhaps all this bullshit I go through every day was worth it I am now faced with a tunnel of concrete & faux irishness. Why don’t I go back to St Georges Tce, a windswept concrete valley.


      • Hovean says:

        The carpark will inevitably be replaced by a similar sized/height building, so wall will be lost. Its cast in grooves top to bottom seem extravagant. The lantern is a standard Subiaco street job – bonus to the blokes who slipped a 10 metre wall and its footings in so close.
        All in all soundly done and destined to comfortably house people for centuries, or until
        yet more arrive and demand to live there as well.


  4. vegan says:

    narnia on rokeby.


  5. rottobloggo says:

    At least there’s no Astroturf. Would you believe some plonker had his fake grass approved in a different western suburb this week? Sheesh.


  6. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    It’s a tilt-up Dickensian nightmare.


  7. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    East German immigrants would get homesick looking at that photo.


  8. pete says:

    Just as long as no one spray paints their name on it. That would make it a blight on the landscape.


  9. Perineum says:

    Yet, i’m told the Subiaco councillors are Diogenesists, to the last.


  10. skink says:

    lock up your duaghters – Sniffer’s back!

    and the Naked Gun gets the bullet


  11. skink says:

    Barnett on whether Buswell will fuck up again:
    “I ride him harder than Black Caviar was ridden.”
    apart from the obviously unsavoury nature of the mental image that conjours up,
    there is also the problem that Black Caviar’s jockey was criticized for making a complete balls-up of the race, and letting the horse slacken off in the final furlong


  12. valerie woodruffe says:

    The Lamp Lighters cum Night Soil Men of Ye Olde Subiaco must have been very tall men or have very long legs and arms to reach that lamp each evening.

    Anyways we need more lamps of this length so ladies can walk the streets in safety without fear that the Ripper may pounce out from an unsuspecting side walk alley way


  13. boredinbouldaire says:

    I used to live behind Meg Sheen’s craft shop in Subi, circa 1972 – there was a public phone box on the street outside the lounge room, that was our home number ‘press button A’
    Fond memories.
    Gone to shit now I guess.


  14. Pingback: Weekend Worstoff 207 | The Worst of Perth

  15. The Legend 101 says:



  16. Subiaco has moles? Ididn‘t think they were indigenous. Molls on the other hand…


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