Wide Roller

Nice one from Kwality seen at Flinders Square, AKA Dog Swamp. I had heard stories about people with expensive cars parking between two bays to protect their precious paintwork from yobs opening their doors, but had never seen it until now. Why would you take your Roller to Dog Swamp anyway? I’m trying to think up some innocent explanation. Were there other cars badly parked that forced them to park this way? It doesn’t look good. In any case, Kwality let their trolley bang into it a few times, whether they were trying to be an arsehole or not.


About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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29 Responses to Wide Roller

  1. poor lisa says:

    I don’t understand the reasoning. It might not be in danger of getting dinged by the door of the pulsar in the next bay, but it’s screaming out ‘I’m an arrogant nobhead who deserves to have my ostentatious car 50c’d by someone who can’t get a parking bay, but that said, nobody ever has trouble getting a bay at Dogswamp so just 50c me anyway cos I’m a nobhead!’

    I’m glad Kwality used the shopping trolley because this driver is clearly an arsehole.


  2. Grrr says:

    It is a pity we can’t make out the numberplate… it almost looks to have a logo on it.

    It’s a pity we can’t harness the awesome power for TWOP (which is admittedly far short of the awesome power of 4chan’s pursuit, virtual lynching and arrest of douchebag Kenny Glenn and friend) to do somnething more mild…. more Perth: send this photo to the operator of Dog Swamp shopping centre in the hope they’ll get some sort of ticket… or at least a stern letter.


  3. Rolly says:

    A-a-w-w-w, come on casps;

    It’s a forkin’ hire car!

    Wedding Warrior!

    And duly concerned for the carriagework.

    Plurry difficult/expensive to repair well.


  4. Rolly says:

    Shit, where’s the edit function?

    For casps read chasps (chaps/chapesses)


  5. Grrr says:

    So, taking a wild stab in the dark… it’s a for-hire limo?
    Maybe there was a wedding taking place there and the bride had a large train? Maybe they were scouting photo locations in the lovely park behind the centre.

    After a quick google, there is a Westcoast Limousines business registered in nearby Yokine. From their website its hard to tell if its one of theirs or not.


  6. Rolly says:

    You, too, type slowly, Grrr?


  7. Grrr says:

    I, too, wish there was an edit function.


  8. Golden1 says:

    I reckon I could get the Barina in on either side. That’d fix ’em.


  9. Snuff says:

    It’s intriguing that it’s reversed in, Japanese style, and I must confess, it does bring back some memories.

    When I was young, at Uni, and needed the money, I used to occasionally drive and service these for one of the dodgiest, strangest characters I’ve ever met. He claimed to be the illegitimate son of the King of Yemen, and that he had therefore been secretly raised by foster parents in Perth, and I must admit, their clearly Scandinavian ancestry did seem at odds with his obviously middle eastern swarthiness.

    He had “access” to at least three of these, and by that I mean that although he always lived a 5 star lifestyle, he didn’t seem to actually own anything, at least not with his own money. We would, in fact, do the very occasional wedding, but the principal use of the rollers was for “meetings”.

    These were always a lot of fun. Basically, he’d meet with people and impress them with his vast wealth, which would then reassure them that the millions he was about to borrow from them would of course be effortlessly refunded to them at the appropriate time, with generous interest.

    We had the MO down pat. I’d don the Italian suit, the fake Rolex, and yes, the hat, and we’d arrive appropriately late, at the appointed alfresco Restaurant, where the victim would be waiting at the table booked for optimum street viewing. Parking, of course, is for revolting peasants. I’d pull up in the middle of the street, and sit there serenely with the V12 purring for the entire time it took for the invariably successful transaction to take place.

    Strange days, indeed, but the Mitchell Freeway never seemed shorter. Those babies can move.


  10. Bill O"Slatter says:

    You sure it was money Snuff or a couple of kilos ?


  11. Snuff says:

    Now, that’d be telling, Bill.


  12. Mike says:

    That’s a pretty brazen park, knowing full well that any passerby is going to comment “Look at thise arsehole”. Probably tired of people banging their doors against his/her car in carparks. However draws the attention of a good key scratch instead..


  13. Kwality says:

    The driver was probably fighting someone for a 5:45pm discounted BBQ chook from Coles. I know I was.


  14. Snuff says:

    Exactly, Mike. Provoking the politics of envy is precisely the point. A scratch ? Insurance. They always look great with a few fresh layers, anyway.


  15. Rolly says:

    WTF have randy chooks got to do with it?


  16. Ljuke says:

    Are you saying a car bomb is a better option Snuff?


  17. Snuff says:

    Fresh and randy is always a good look, Rolly, but I think you’ll find it was Kwality who mentioned chooks, and I don’t think I’m saying anything, Ljuke, except that I like the new gravatar. Is that Phelps ?


  18. Orbea says:

    Snuff, aren’t rollers V8’s?


  19. Ljuke says:

    Phelps? What in god’s name are you on about, man?


  20. Snuff says:

    With the aid of my evil monocle, I see now that it’s a Wembley Ware stockman with a pipe, not Michael Phelps with a bong. My apologies, Ljuke.


  21. Snuff says:

    I’m pleased to be able to say, Orbea, that I’m not quite old enough to have been idling in one of the 727 Phantom IIIs produced between 1936 and 1939, but Rollers have again run V12s as standard in Silver Seraphs and Phantoms since 1998. You’re quite right about these Silver Shadows, however, unless you count this 1040 HP one.


  22. shirazz says:

    Hahah that’s at my local shops. I see the old guy who drives it a lot, he also likes to take up 2 lanes of the road


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  24. Dark says:

    The pic of the Holden VE SSV “silver car” was taken at carousel.. how do I know.. because I own this car.. I don’t condone parking like this at all.. but a blue ford was parked to the left of me over into the parking bay next to my left.. its why i was parked more over to where you see it now.. although the fords left and this red car is now parked properly.. makes mine look like a parking space hog…

    It’s really annoys me when people can not park in the lines making others park odly to fit in…



  25. If you’d had the roller, DR, I wouldn’t have believed you, but you make a convincing case. Thanks for your comment.


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