Blame it on the Boogie Nights

Posted on October 3, 2007 by AHC McDonald

Hypnotising Hideous

mansion.jpg

There’s no doubt this pile of curved bricks and concrete in Stonehouse Crescent Bentley is as ugly as a Shane Warne haircut, and yes the architect should have been run out of town, and yet… and yet. Repellant yes, but like Shane it has a bulk, confidence and strut that almost pulls it off.

This is another property in the amazing area that surrounds Bunning Park in Bentley. The whole area is a mansion time capsule. Very well worth a visit. The amazing thing is that there are half a dozen or more mid 70’s mansions almost next door to other, all in almost mint condition. No crumbling concrete or stained brick. Just ugly at it’s overconfident best.

Posted in worst architecture, worst house | Tagged , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Cocolossal

Posted on October 2, 2007 by AHC McDonald

Cocos crimes against humanity.

cocolossal

Silly me. I thought the worst thing you could do with a Cocos Palm was to plant one of the suckers. No, you grow one, then lop it off at head height and leave the stump. If that is not obscenity enough, cut the top off and turn it into a giant crucifix for the front garden. Of course!

Never underestimate how low Perth can go, especially when Cocos is in da house. To see how to turn a reasonably normal house into a stomach churning freak, visit Deverell Way in Bentley. More on this area surrounding Bruning Park Bentley in later posts. It’s between Manning road, Walpole and Dumond Streets Bentley. One of Perth’s most interesting areas for houses, where bad can sometimes transcend itself. Not with this one though. Straight to the worst of the worst. Ughh.

Posted in vanished worst, worst garden, worst house, worst of the worst, worst tree | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

R U Going to Scarborough Bleh?

Posted on October 1, 2007 by AHC McDonald

Whinger Than Paradise

scarborough bleh

Only in Perth could we whinge about a beach that many countries would execute all their first born to have – but Perth is that kind of place. The clock pictured deserves its own category, but many factors contribute to Scarborough Beach’s Worst of Perth status. Acres of burning white sand to cross, (yeah I know, but this is Perth), a “malevolent” vibe, waves that are uncomfortable for swimmers but poor for surfers, all overlooked (or more particularly overshadowed) by the controversial and hideous Observation City Hotel. Some visitors are under the impression that Scarborough Beach is “the place to go”. It’s not.

Got a worse piece of Perth coastline? Let us know. Oh and has someone got a shot of the Observation City Hotel that shows it at it’s worst?

Posted in worst beach, worst clock | Tagged , , | 38 Comments

Cocos in Focus

Posted on October 1, 2007 by AHC McDonald

T_e Pub

If you can’t tell if a design feature is deliberate or a mistake – it’s a mistake. What’s with the missing but lit “H” at T_e Pub Dianella.? Perhaps it’s one of the initiatives of the new management.

It’s a design cliche that if you don’t know what to do, make it big and make it red. Conversely, if you don’t know how to make it into the Worst of Perth, stick some of those god-awful Cocos palms somewhere.

Dianella residents are particularly well served with ugliness. T_e Pub is next door to the Cityside Christian Church, which despite its lack of Cocos is one of the Worst of The Worst.

T_e Pub

(08) 9276 0777

Waverley Shopping Centre Dianella WA 6059

Cuisine, Australian – native, Mediterranean, Modern Australian
Ambience: Relaxed

(note: Relaxed ambience in Perth usually means you can have half your crack hanging out while at the bar – ed)

Posted in worst architecture, worst pub/hotel/design, worst tree | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Discipline and Punish

Posted on September 30, 2007 by AHC McDonald

Abandon hope all who enter here – Busy Bee next Saturday.

citychurch.jpg

This dismal and depressing view can be found near the corner of Alexander Drive and Grand Promenade Dianella. The best way to approach this church would be shackled to a guard in a prison van. A priest with some death row experience would be ideal. You can just see a section where a paritioner has tried to escape before the armoured collection plate arrived.


Click worst church in the categories link to the right to see all the worst church contenders.

Cityside Christian Church

Waverley Shopping Centre Dianella WA 6059

p: (08) 9275 5955

Website – None Supplied

Email – None Supplied

Posted in vanished worst, worst architecture, worst church, worst of the worst | Tagged , , , , | 26 Comments

The Walrus: A Perth Native

Posted on September 30, 2007 by AHC McDonald

“Into Time, Into the Dream

The Moon and the Sun

Only from within can this love shine”

Such says the plaque, which seems a little at odds with the walruses on a rock motif. So the love can only shine from, er, within a walrus?

walrus.jpg

Sculptured by Vittorio and Lennard 1997

Location. Turn off Broun Avenue into Russel Street and right at Bunnings Morley. Between Galleria and The Morley markets. This main piece on a carpark roundabout between Russel Street and Walter Road. Smaller marine mammals at several other nearby locations. Why? Someone may know. Posted in Worst of the Worst, as I’ve never seen a worse example of public art in the city. I would be very shocked to see this one beaten, but if you can, surprise me.

Posted in worst of the worst, worst public art, worst sculpture | Tagged , , , , | 22 Comments

Young Punks

Posted on September 30, 2007 by AHC McDonald

We don’t want to be going totally architectural on your arses (although the built environment makes up a lot of what’s worst in the city) so in the human scale, who’s the Worst Of Politicians in Perth? All sides have some real turkeys, but it’s hard to go past Paul Omodei The Libs’ leader of the opposition. Actually it’s easy to go past him and that’s the problem. Labor could be burning grandmothers and Omodei would be going backwards in the polls. But that’s the state Libs all over the country isn’t it? In itself it’s not enough to be The Worst. Paul gets the coveted Worst of Perth award for his lovely work in shooting his own son during a rabbit (wabbit?) cull. If a man can’t get ANY publicity despite pumping a round into his own flesh and blood… On the other hand, if that’s the way he’s going to deal with the youth problem, he’s got my vote. Those young punks…

Worst of stae Liberals

Another thing I’ve noticed with Omodei is that they always mention that he was a potato farmer when they show his picture. The same phenomenon as people looking like their pets?

Posted in worst people, worst politician | Tagged , , , , , , | 11 Comments

The (don’t arf) Penn

Posted on September 29, 2007 by AHC McDonald

They say you can’t polish a turd, but apparently you can give one an aubergine render. The Worst of Perth editor was disappointed to hear that the Penninsular Tavern on Railway road Maylands had undergone a facelift – but fear not. Instead of the salmon brick monstrosity of the 80’s, it’s now rendered for the 21st century. The interior is if anything worse. Also nice to see the ugliest, water guzzling, non-shade giving tree, the Cocos Palm is being used to further crappify The Penn.

Maylands Craphole

There are several drinking holes in Perth that may be able to claim equal ugliness (send us your worst), but seldom do you have ordure so well and truly rubbed in your face as at The Penn, because it stands next door to a superb old building I believe was the original drinking hole for this spot, a lovely 2 storey verandah classic. Perhaps it would have been better to demolish it. Just too sad to see just how good things could have been.

penntavwide.jpg

The Penninsular Tavern

223 Railway Pde
Maylands, WA 6051, Australia
+61 8 9271 1147

Posted in worst architecture, worst pub/hotel/design, worst tree | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Worst of Worship

Posted on September 28, 2007 by AHC McDonald

Does Jesus REALLY abide here?

I’ve seen some crappy places of worship around Perth in my time, but let’s kick it off with The Holy Trinity in Burnett Street Embleton. The horrorshow design, the mouldy white concrete bricks, the fibro cladding and the “men’s urinal style” glass bricks at the entrance add up to one hideous temple of worship. Got an uglier Church, Mosque or temple to share? Let’s see it. Does Jesus really abide here? I think not.

Posted in worst architecture, worst church, worst of perth | Tagged , , , , | 26 Comments

The House of Tabor

Posted on September 27, 2007 by AHC McDonald

The House of Tabor

Perhaps it’s the sinister name rather than the awful sign that brings The House of Tabor to the attention of the Worst of Perth scouts. The quality of the Tabor unisex cut has not been sampled.

House of Tabor
1174 Hay Street
West Perth WA 6005
Australia

08 9321 7500

Posted in vanished worst, worst graphic design | Tagged , , | 15 Comments