Blame it on the Boogie Nights

Hypnotising Hideous


There’s no doubt this pile of curved bricks and concrete in Stonehouse Crescent Bentley is as ugly as a Shane Warne haircut, and yes the architect should have been run out of town, and yet… and yet. Repellant yes, but like Shane it has a bulk, confidence and strut that almost pulls it off.

This is another property in the amazing area that surrounds Bunning Park in Bentley. The whole area is a mansion time capsule. Very well worth a visit. The amazing thing is that there are half a dozen or more mid 70’s mansions almost next door to other, all in almost mint condition. No crumbling concrete or stained brick. Just ugly at it’s overconfident best.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst architecture, worst house and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Blame it on the Boogie Nights

  1. Mike Cusack says:

    Is that a house? It looks like a mental institution!


  2. lazyaussie says:

    mental like a fox


  3. not for prophet says:

    Deserved adulation springs to mind when viewing this particularly brilliant example of what the critics of the day referred to as “vertigo with verve” . At first glance, it would appear to be a standard construction of no significance other than it being the namesake of its street. But take a closer look! Those gallant arches that work in symbiosis with the rounded windows give us all the clues we need to uncover the truth of this remarkable construction. The tongue-in-cheek nod to Bentley’s seamier side led the architects down the road of metaphor and it is here that we find the secret of their genius lies, for this bronzed nipple on the swelling belly of the sow christened Bentley was constructed entirely upside down and it is only when the viewer is in similar position, that the poetry of the relatively simple design begins to flow. The parallels between Bentley and “underbelly” were the inspiration behind this brave concept and the architects stayed true to it until the very end. By using trees with no visible trunk or the palms whose crowns could well be root systems, directional ambiguity is used with great dexterity to further the cause of this mortar masterpiece. Indeed, if Gaudi
    were alive today, he may well have screamed “Plagiarist! Plagiarist!” before settling into a smug smile of, “Well, I never!”
    The giant cake-board that would eventually become the roof, was the only problem during initial construction for it is upon this, that the in- factory work and assembly took place. Many said that cardboard and marzipan would never take the weight but the clarity of the architects’ vision never wavered and they were ultimately vindicated when the whole was transported, inverted and placed in situ by a veritable bird’s nest of cranes.
    In an age when suburbs are under fire from a bricks and mortar attack from every side, this is one classic monolith whose timeless, defiant and somewhat quirky motto will always be , ” Die say never!”


  4. lazyaussie says:

    You know, Proph, now you mention Gaudi, i also see him in The Great Wall of Maylands.

    and re:

    “bronzed nipple on the swelling belly of the sow christened Bentley”

    I wish I had said that. And I will say it.


  5. P Crackpot (Bedford) says:

    I see that too, its a 180 degrees spanish arch statement!! Talk about turning architecture on its head!!It all makes perfect sense!


  6. lazyaussie says:

    You’d only hope that like Gaudi, the architect stepped back onto the road to view his masterpiece, and was run down by a bus. (Or was that Roland barthe?)


  7. whinging ninja says:

    Honestly though, the bit I cannot get past is, that wonderful tree, the Pencil Pine. Why? Why? Why?

    Drive through Parkwood and what do you see (apart from drivers lost in the labrynth of curved roads and confusing cul de sacs)? Pencil Pines! What about Noranda? What is more common than proudly misplaced emblematic animals cast in concrete? Consider Willetton? Is there anything more prominent than augmented japanese automotives?

    The answer as you might guess is of course Pencil Pines. Pencil Pines. Pencil Pines.

    In fact two of them planted proudly out front. One in the lawn and the other in what appears to be the driveway? Was that a mistake? Did they plant the tree in front of the car garage and just concrete right the way around. Or worse still, did they plan to plant something in the middle of the driveway?

    Really though, it would not matter where you planted them. If Ikea opened a store in Mandurah in the 80’s and sold trees to flabby white english migrants they would sell Pencil Pines. I am not really sure why I said that. But deep down, it just feels right!

    Can I make a nomination for worst trees? Pencil Pines.


  8. lazyaussie says:

    What about 2 pencil pines trained around each other, in a spiral or an arch? Surely you can’t be against that?


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  10. Cimbali says:

    Gaudi was run over on his way to vespers or by a vespa (I am not sure which), whilst admiring the sophisticated pencil pine motif which makes up the overwhelming theme of his famous Sagreda Familia Cathedral in Barcelona.

    By the way, for the rest of the day I am going to be humming the Jimmy Buffet classic ” I wish I had a pencil pine mustache……” Does the cocos have a theme song as snappy?


  11. Golden1 says:

    Yes it’s – a Beach Boys Number.


  12. meccano says:

    Does my cocos look big in this?

    “It’s a fine line between pleasure and pine”


  13. Cimbali says:

    Cocos Cabana perhaps?


  14. meccano says:

    “At the Cocas, Cocas cabana
    The hottest tree north of Balcatta
    At the Cocas, Cocas cabana
    We plant them with passion they’re always in fashion
    They’re the Cocas….They’ve got my love”


  15. meccano says:

    BTW, “Not For Prophet”, I love your analysis of this wonder, particularly the notion of “directional ambiguity” I feel this term pretty well sums up the current movement in australian architecture.


  16. lazyaussie says:

    #12, re: Does my cocos look big in this?

    I thought you were just pleased to see me?


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  18. david says:

    um…who uses that many balconies anyway?


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