Weekend Worstoff 53

Posted on April 25, 2009 by AHC McDonald

This person may be able to answer questions about Lobbers or lobsters. Simon went for a worst binge down south with some nice numberplates. Also some great BMW parking. Errant parking photos, along with apostrophe policing are genres that TWOP now owns but which used to be Inside Cover staples.

week53lobsterweek53brutha

week53disabled2

Continuing with a deep South theme Skink found his morning cup of metrosexual spoiled by the Harvey Milk labels. Skink says…

I am not sure of it was a deliberate ploy to make the labels look ‘homely’, but I wonder if they would not have looked a little better if:

1.  they had asked the bloke to put on a clean singlet, or maybe even put a shirt on.

2.  they had tried to get the kid to smile

3.  they had avoided photographing a cow’s arse

week53milk

Also Rob od Highgate sends in a worst from Cannington, which strangely I don’t think we’ve worsted from before. Rob says…

It is hard to convey the sheer human misery of this nearly deserted  block of shops in East Cannington without a panorama taking in the  empty shops, grafiti & carpark but the one surviving shop tells a  pretty vivid story.

Thanks Rob. Bigger picture next time if possible. This template will take pics up to 500pixels wide.

week53canning

Worst well this ANZAC weekend. Thanks everyone for worst support.

Posted in weekend worstoff, worst advertising, worst car, worst shop design | Tagged , , | 19 Comments

Sequinned Soprano

Posted on April 24, 2009 by AHC McDonald

If you’re going Mafia, do you also go sequins?  What next, “I heart Paedos” written in flowers? You can see a reflection of Liberty Cinema on Barrack Street in this shot, which I think used to be The Kimberley, where I saw the Chinese film Demon Wet Nurse. For some reason that link had a popup saying “one of your Perth buddies has a crush on you”. Cookster, is it you? It’s you right? Don’t get the 4skin oil out too quick buddy. You can look but you can’t touch.  Seriously, you can’t touch. I’m not joking.

mafiamafiawide

Posted in worst fashion | Tagged | 46 Comments

Hemp up your 4 Skins mateys!

Posted on April 23, 2009 by AHC McDonald

For a moment I thought I was being hoaxed with these two from M, but I see from the Hemp website that they have indeed foregrounded the 4skin, so I’ll take the hand relief as genuine too. These be at the Sexpo Cookster? They are so obvious, could it possibly be deliberate? What the hell do you use hemp oil for? Maybe it IS used for foreskins? That bottle looks like it would oil up over a thousand though. On the other hand (nyuk) The Aveda doesn’t look big enough. That tube would only be good for half a dozen jobs.

4skin1handrelief

Posted in worst advertising | Tagged , , , , | 30 Comments

And Quiet Flows The Dong

Posted on April 22, 2009 by AHC McDonald

The boys know what you’re giving
You give the boys such a lot of fun
And by the way you make a living
You’ve got the boys all on the run
S.T.’s showing gotta get them going
You can even say the price
They’ll wanna try it
even wanna buy it
If you really treat them nice
But I’d rather take you show that I can make you
Good enough for just one man
oh I’m feeling kinda
Like I’ve gotta find a way to make you understand. Status Quo. Mystery Song.

I make no meaning for this juxtaposition. Let’s just say that the meaning lies in a surfeit of good material. (A problem not encountered by say Inside Cover). However, if someone wants to come up with some adult songs which include the following elements,

Patsy Biscoe – Krazy Kym from Charlottes Web (shown actual size) – Onga Pumps, then bring it on. (Photos via Krazy Kym’s trophy husband, David Cohen, DFOC).

rcertkrazykim

Posted in worst music | Tagged , , | 46 Comments

Inside The Inside Cover

Posted on April 21, 2009 by AHC McDonald

The opening day for the revamped Inside Cover was reviewed here yesterday, but Skink has been doing some excellent animation work that illustrates the state of play a lot better. The Broadfield and Hatch relationship is the classic story of the old silverback who knows he’s on the way out, trying every trick to stop the young buck from taking the harem. Skink’s hidden cameras reveal the real story of the shrinking Daniel Hatch byline.

And here’s the animated version of the new Inside Cover, with Broadfield demonstrating his comic………timing.

Skink has been doing some excellent work. Can I reccommend his Paul Murray Easter Message.

Posted in worst journalist, worst newspaper | Tagged , , , , | 16 Comments

Go Africa, Go Jesus, Go dragon

Posted on April 21, 2009 by AHC McDonald

A chance to get a few vehicles off the books. Africa’s in Bunbury, Jesus is in Victoria Park and The Dragon’s in Fremantle. Not much to say except that they all have their own take on how modifying a vehicle can make it look like crap. I like Africa the best, although I’m not sure what they’re trying to say. If you drive a Volvo, do you really need teh jesus? And the dragon. Well someone paid for that. Africa via Dave. thanks mate. Nice worst. The rest via Canon The lazy Aussie to youse.

africa1africa2

volvodragon

Posted in worst car, worst transport | Tagged , | 14 Comments

Lose the old Bastard

Posted on April 20, 2009 by AHC McDonald

ic1I was hoping that the new  Inside Cover would be really good, or not bad enough to write a post about. But unfortunately it’s crap. For god’s sake, why is there a picture of a grandfather peering over the newspaper, when you’ve got Daniel “Teh Hottie” Hatch on the team?

Unfortunately Rob Broadfield’s ego and sense of superiority which work perfectly well in a restaurant review, (and are just what’s required in that situation) just sound like an old man who isn’t funny but doesn’t know and won’t shut up, on IC.

The copy is embarrassing. In the first two items Broadfield claims that a “Colin” and Eric Ripper were shaking in their boots when told he was IC editor. Cobblers.  Or was it supposed to be a joke? Judging from this attempt, they were more likely scared he was about to tell them a long and rambling story without a punchline.

Rob, “quelle horreur”? For fucks sake, it just makes you sound like a plonker. Also “chortling loon”. Plonker. Also “ahem, winsome young ladies”. Plonker!  Why not quote some Goons, to make yourself look really up with teh kids? It comes across like a cross between Paul Murray and Eoin Cameron. These are not two stools you want to fall between.

Aaaaaarghhhh. Get someone quick and smart. Numerous blogs are doing this material better.

ic2

Posted in worst journalist, worst newspaper | Tagged | 61 Comments

Neo Babylon & the Peep O’day boys

Posted on April 20, 2009 by AHC McDonald

The gardens had exotic and amazing flourishing plants, garlanded by bottles off piss hanging from every tree – every branch in some cases. On many of the levels the bottles of piss were so numerous that it appeared that a forest of Cedar blooming with stinking yellow flowers reached to the sky. Herodotus. Description of Babylon’s gardens.

Not quite Babylon, but Nollamara. I thought Davidfuckingoutragecohen (or Deefock) was joking when he sent this picture of bottles of piss hanging in a tree to ward off fruit fly. I don’t know about fruit fly, but it must help dissuade the relatives from visiting. That’s bad. Doesn’t it attract normal flies? Deefock has also learned. The standard of submission is so high, that you sometimes have to go that little bit further to get a posting. He also submits this great album cover to sweeten the pot, although a foil of herring would also have sufficed. Why is this record in a pump shop? That beard reminds me of 70’s porn for some reason. Love it. Thanks Outrage

pissirish

Posted in worst garden, worst music | Tagged , , | 33 Comments

Best of Banned by The West

Posted on April 19, 2009 by AHC McDonald

The Best of the banned by the west newsfeed this week. Current news alerts are in the sidebar, or subscribe to them all with The Worst of Perth rss news feed   http://twitter.com/statuses/user_timeline/15953157.rss

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Tupac sours seance with expletives. The spirit of 2pac Shakur proved more than a match for Perth psychic Sandra When the table “rapping” sta…

Hemingway estate sues over spoof. Sales of erotic novel “The Flange of Kilimanjaro” were suspended in bookshops, but were still available on…

“Scott unlikely to have faked own death'” Young. Despite numerous sightings of Bon Scott in Newcastle & Macau this week, caution was urged b…

Edith Cowan “May have been man” . A researcher has poured doubt on the claims that Cowan was WA’s first female parliamentarian. DNA from…

Ill informed journalist takes out mortgage. A Sydney journalist, who had not been told of the death of newspapers, unwittingly borrowed money…

Sting 2 Bono “HEGHHLUE’MEHH KAK “. Bono’s attempt 2 learn Klingon has bn met with derision from Sting. A fluent Klingon speaker himself, Sting…

Sauna malfunction “scars Bedford man”. A man had hallucinations of his ancestors hunting bison when the sauna he was in reached 85 degrees…

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Oh and I meant to put this up yesterday in outside links. Sledge, who has made a few comments lately had this enviable pic on his blog.  Minjup Diary

hungriesx

Posted in Best of banned by The West | 1 Comment

Weekend Worstoff 52

Posted on April 18, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Can it really be a whole year of worstoffs? And still they come.

Sking Skink reacts to Colin “Petrol Sniffin” Barnett and the Cabinet Ministers’ website

week52barney2week52barney1Dave finds the excellent Ute Chick . Also Barbequeue Chick.

week52uteRichard was nonplussed over these 44 gallon drums lashed to the side of a new building in Ruth Street Northbridge. They look like depth charges to me.

week52depthAnd Neen took a dislike to this York real estate agent sign. It does seem to say Co-linking not Colin King.

week52colinThanks everyone for this year of weekend worstoffs. Worst well.

Posted in weekend worstoff, worst advertising, worst car, worst graphic design, worst politician, worst shop design, worst transport | Tagged , , , | 32 Comments