Toped again

Outrage Cohen is seeing crazy giant bird “topes” everywhere now. This one he found while lurking behind Bobbi’s pole dancing academy late at night. Don’t ask.

Posted in worst of perth | 9 Comments

Juxtaposed

These two photos, the first from Ben R and the second from Kylie, seem somehow connected. I am unable to exactly articulate why. Write the story in your own heads.

Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts, worst graffiti | Tagged | 9 Comments

Is Perth Architecture The Worst?

Posted in worst architecture | 57 Comments

Dolphin, Dugong, Pelican

James N found this rough plea to…something near Bayswater station. Tearing off a page of the West with different animals, sticking it on some retro computer paper and writing on it with crayon doesn’t sound like they are that serious about our finned locals. Riding to work in the last weeks I have seen Swan River dolphins cavorting in the shallows numerous times, with every appearance of vibrancy. But this did give me the opportunity to throw together a couple of “off campus” worsts. A wonderful dugong sculpture on Hamilton Island from Greg O. And a lovely Pelican and cheery death warning sign from Mark and Anne L from Pelican Rapids Minnesota.

Posted in worst art, worst newspaper, worst sculpture, worst sign | Tagged , , | 22 Comments

Half arsed topiary…

…or freak of nature? By Helen. As much as I’d like to think that residents of Mt Lawley would take it upon themselve to tope a giant duck, (or plucked turkey), I somehow doubt it. If only they would! A bit too much like hard work for Arrondissement dwellers I reckon. Maybe on Las Ramblas I could believe it. Excellent worst though Helen. Frightening.

Posted in worst art, worst public art, worst sculpture | Tagged , , | 23 Comments

North Perth Sentinal

By Orbea. Cue Bento to comment about “oversized” willie. Remarkable.

Posted in worst art, worst public art, worst sculpture | Tagged , , , | 29 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 128

All photos via my iphone, from last night. First, encountering a baffling no ties policy at Ezra Pound bar. Cross it off the list for TWOP drinks. I did however like the look of William Street Bird a few doors down. Within easy mocking distance of the Heath Ledger Theatre. Or whatever it’s called. And no dissing of my tie.And here’s a rather overexcited/insane Dixie Marshall opening the Peggy Guggenheim exhibition at the Gallery. And here are some less vaunted artists than Brancusi, Giacometti, Magritte and Dali, just a few yards away. Some sort of Curtin art fundraiser. Goon was flowing.OK, maybe one pic from someone else. David Mc saw this in his UK office. What a blow to crackpots.

Posted in weekend worstoff | Tagged , , , , | 29 Comments

Yes, but with her holding up one boozie…

I put this one from Meccano from Melbourne as an example of why Perth architecture is bad, a topic I will be expanding on in a lecture to the Curtin architecture department next Friday. This set of apartments by Nonda Katsalidis has been recognised as one of Australia’s best buildings. To me the angel and the bloke with the donger polished black by residents are risible. Why is an angel with a head which is a cross between Mark Webber and Lindy Chamberlain holding up one tit? But the point is that it could be built there and it couldn’t be built here. Horrible though it is, it couldn’t even be proposed here. Colin Barnett would be objecting to the Webber/Chamberlain flange being a threat to our kiddies. Residents wouldn’t even enter the back door of the wille polisher, let alone buy an apartment there. And a skull? Whoa could be an endorsement of euthanasia. With all the money, and all the wealth, here it would have to be bland glass or nothing. Even Melbourne’s bad is better than our good. Which we don’t have anyway.

Posted in worst architecture | Tagged | 40 Comments

Inseminators run to ground

After the humiliation they took from city smartarses in 2009, the organisers of the 2010 Inseminators Ball went underground, shielding even a mention of the event behind log in only forums, and restricting advertising of the event. Outrage Cohen even travelled to rurotardia in an effort to track down even a poster, but to no avail. What a surprise then for him to find the evidence in Cottesloe. Yes, they’re still country bumpkins with poor design skills. How sad that this once proud (though stupid) group has to hide like pussies in the bush.

Posted in worst advertising, worst graphic design | Tagged , | 23 Comments

Nuevo Dirty Dicks

Roar Publicity contacted me and asked me if I wanted to do and interview with Bobby Jewell, “The Lads’ Chef”. Just for something different for youse, I said Yes. Bobby is launching a book, “The Lad’s Chef Cookbook”. but possibly more interesting to TWOP audience is that he has a restaurant Tharens, that is essentially an up market Dirty Dicks -if such a thing is possible, and definitely worst worthy. Drag queens, magicians and dress ups. It apparently has good food, which is not how I remember the Roast Beef at Perth’s DD’s many years ago. Quite extraordinary. I also wanted to test my interview technique. Wot youse think? Could I be the new Eoin Cameron, or Daile Pepper?

Bio: Bobby Jewell in a former successful swimmer and is now the next big celebrity chef. Whilst his swimming career may not have continued, Jewell’s philosophy to “just dive in” has certainly become a metaphor for how he does things. At only 28, he is not only an author but the owner of Sydney’s only fancy-dress entertainment restaurant, Tharens.

The interview.

TWOP: Bobby, how did your swimming lead to opening a restaurant? Did you like look down one day and think, “Whoa, look at those sea creatures. I could totally cut them up, and sell the chunks to people.”?

BJ: Haha, swimming up and down everyday in the pool, did get a bit boring, when I moved to Sydney I was suddenly surrounded by amazing colours and culture so Decided to do something different and develop a fancy dress restaurant. Seriously though swimming did teach me commitment and gave me a lot of drive.

TWOP: You say that part of what this book’s about is guys impressing chicks on first dates. I note that you have sent me an example of Pea and Ham soup. Wouldn’t there be the problem of gas with lentils and peas? I’m worrying that it might be harder to get a girl into the sack if she’s worrying about letting one go at a vital moment. Maybe the Pea and Ham would be better after 6 months of marriage?

BJ: Yes Andrew maybe you’re right. The romantic dinner section would be a better choice for impressing that girl you met down the pub. Pea and soup is a great dish when you are feeling under the weather.

TWOP: The book will have a section for what every guy should have stocked in his kitchen. After Rohypnol, what’s the number one item?

BJ: Well I think a bottle of vodka is always useful!

TWOP: You’ve got Tharens restaurant in Kings Cross in Sydney and you are thinking of opening in Brisbane, Melbourne and Las Vegas. Why not Perth? We can muster just as many organised criminals to pose around in fancy restaurants as Kings Cross, Carlton or Vegas. Is this a direct insult to the vibrant Perth organised crime scene?

BJ: Not at all, I love perth, I used to go to school at Scarborough Primary school. There is no reason why there cant be a Tharens in every city in the world including perth!

TWOP:  At Tharens King’s Cross, Do you do “Underbelly of Pork”?

BJ: I think there is enough underbelly of pork to go around in kings cross, Tharen’s will stick to Drag queens and magicians!

TWOP: According to the blurb, Tharens is a ‘full-bodied’ restaurant and bar that throws in bucket loads of fantasy, fun, fedoras – and fancy dress as well, for those who dare. Sounds a bit like Dirty Dicks theatre restaurant they used to have here in Perth. When I went, I was forced to wear a bib that said “Dick Swisher”. My Mother was called “Frustrated Fanny.” You should totally do that.

BJ: Very interesting, I have big plans for Tharen’s. Hopefully in a few years I can see the Tharens reach its full potential. I hear dirty dicks was quite fun, although I have never been.

TWOP: Off topic, Vietnamese ginger. It’s got to be a practical joke right? Where’s the taste Bobby? It’s like a lightly flavoured chunk of wood.

BJ: Now that is interesting, I was always under the impression that vietnamese ginger was in the same family as normal ginger but with more of a sour taste to it??? I do like vietnamese food, its very fresh and light, maybe you had a wood chip instead?

TWOP: Would you like a copy of my own recipe, “Eggs Derelict?” Clue, it’s eggs fried on a barbeque that has never been cleaned. The secret’s in the cockroach legs.

BJ: Sounds promising, im sure there are many blokes around the country that have tried that special dish. Send me a recipe and I will be sure to try it out on any of my mates that I find lying around my house on a Sunday morning.

TWOP: The Worst of Perth always asks its guests, what the worst thing in Perth. What’s yours? Or, you can slag off Brisbane. Or even Vegas.

BJ: Well I have always been a fan of Perth so I love every aspect of the place, however I have heard that the South East Corridor can be called the dumping ground of Perth!

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Posted in Uncategorisable Worsts | Tagged , | 23 Comments