Beechboro.

Beechboro.

Would you believe Bag O’Turnips has a little sister?
Would you believe she is a Worst warrior?
I speak the truth: Lil’ Sis’ O’T sent these three outstanding pics.
She reckons Huray In was outside Retravision Midland, on Great Eastern Highway, and the BBQ Chicens (which had Chichens on the other side) was at Cooloongup SUPA (n)IGA.
The superb bonus boner – with authentic pubes – is in a locker at the old fire station on Hay Street in the city.
Respec’ to the Lil’ Sis’.



I salute vegan and Joanne: they took these images in the city. Vegan’s is at Aida restaurant in Northbridge; Joanne’s was at A&R.
I glanced at them to confirm their worstness but could not gaze at them for too long. Joanne’s is a sign; I leave it to you to decide what the…other item could be.

They taught the locals how to make baguettes and grow grapes, but they couldn’t get them to upscale on the boozie front. So had to carve some reminders. Keeping my hand in on this day of rest. How’s Outrage been as guest Ed?
The politest and bravest of our friends haven’t been able to sit through the 1000 or so pix and videos of the four weeks and three days Krazy Kym and I spent in India, Nepal and Hong Kong.
The neighbours got through about 300 before they remembered an urgent sock draw-sorting appointment.
You (or “youse pigs”, as TLA disgracefully refers to you) are a captive audience, but fear not: I have chosen 11 images which I hope sum up our sojourn.
I was told off for taking this pic. Nothing like cold tongue for breakfast.
Somehere in India. Nothing like a luke-warm Dolly Juice.
You can buy the finest fashion flange in Delhi.
Rude graffiti is rare in India, so seeing this at a religious place was refreshing.
I couldn’t afford it: Delhi.
No Diet Cock in Khajuraho.
The touts are bad enough – but when a Steve Carrell lookalike gets on your bus? Agra.
After a few local gins in the Kunti things got a bit hairy! The staff at this Kathmandu buttonholed me with a complaint form an English guy filled out. He was outraged he couldn’t take a drink from the Kunti Bar into the dining room. He actually wrote Kunti Room several times! I advised the staff to bin it.
This is on what was Freaky Street, Kathmandu. Of course if this was in Teh Pert scoop would be replaced with poop overnight.
This Buddha Air bag got quite a workout, let me tell you.
Repulse Bay, Honkers: another place with not much graffiti. I hoped a Chineser HKer was so outraged by the stock photography from Canada with white people he got to work with a texta.
What does TLA say? Worst bell? Worst hell. Wot-eva.
The PM was here: Fremantlebiz saw a huge wave of protesting anglers on his south-of-the-river patch, and they reckoned something smelt a bit churchy.
F’biz also liked the exposure invite next to the Neighbourhood Watch sign.


I’m Dee Fock and I’ll be your waiter today! Our main course is from Mike (who served up jungle cuisine the other day): he’s prepared a delicious rubbish sandwich at the five-star Red Castle. Our side dish is luke-warm chunky chair chips, imported fresh from Guildford – I made them myself. Bon appetit.




“I spotted this while reading The Sunday Times,” says TM. “It’s one half of the I Love Justin Bieber poster. Very fitting for JB.”
Yes: the Canadian actor and crooner loves his flower pots.
Update: a young person alleges the JB poster is pushing his new film. I have been unable to confirm this. What I can confirm is a report of a munted Shih Tzu tearing out Justin’s heart.

Speaking of films, check out my talented former student Simon Miraudo’s take on the latest Matthew McConaughy film: MM dragging self out of permanent worstness?
Claremont heat and dust,
Blasting UV means gray lands:
Whither autumn rain?
