Richard Clayderman isn’t dead yet!

Clayderman isn’t even cold in his grave, in fact the c*nt isn’t even dead, and yet Andre Rieu is still insists on camping it up on his territory, ie elevator music. On what possible level is this sticker OK? Who could get away with this on their car? Koons? Rauschenberg? Pollock? Jake and Dinos Chapman? Tracy Emin? And if they did, wouldn’t it have to be a Mercedes saloon? I’m sorry officer if my hyundai was waltzing over the road in a school zone, please send the bill to Andre Rieu. That’s right, Andre’s baton of banality so distracted me that I appear to have ploughed through a whole primary school waiting at the bus stop.

Posted in worst advertising, worst sign | Tagged , | 100 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 9

A shot of me being funny at the comedy debate at The Charles Hotel and the rest of the entertainers. Thanks to the Conservation Council.

I had forgotten what a delightfully dingy old hole The Charles was. Although the front bars have been tarted up, which when I used to go there often, still had the running sewer style drains in front of the bar, the venue area still had the sticky carpets, black paint and mirrored columns of the past. Love it. Took a phone shot in the equally dingy back stage area of this poster of WC Handy, which was ironic, as there was no wc back there. Not handy at all. WC (bog) Handy is the Father of the Blues for those with weak bladders.

Here’s another international worst from my China travels. What home could be without a family of stuffed deer to brighten up the loungroom. From a stuffed deer shop in Dalian Northern China.

This is an attempt at two worsts in one shot from a moving vehicle. 1: Worst cornering by a bin truck overturned at the Mt Lawley subway, and 2: an old quarter window, which for those who are too young to remember, was used to create a high pitched whistling sound whenever you drove a car.

Posted in *Worst of china, *Worst of The World, worst of perth | Tagged , , , | 26 Comments

Pizza Showtime

“His face was a pizza pie, like you don’t get with delivery, only straight out of the oven, where the pepperoni is sizzling with fat, and you just know you’re gonna burn that spot right behind your front teeth.”
Moonish on Moonish

Another from the Beaufort Street Arrondisement. Could there be a less appetising picture of a pizza? Looks like from the pen of the pussycat artist, minus the boozies. And yet I could really do with one right now.

Thanks to anyone who made it to the comedy tonight. No-one live blogged the event?

Posted in vanished worst, worst advertising, worst graphic design, worst sign | Tagged , , | 26 Comments

You’re a bum you’re a punk you’re an old slut on junk

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”
Dean Martin

Again, I’m not sure what to say. I’m glad that the salt and vinegar might have put a bit of a lining on at least one stomach. I’m more of a barbeque flavour man myself. What is that barbeque flavour? It’s the taste of taste itself. This is what the comedian’s green room bin will be like about 30 minutes before the comedy debate starts at the Charles tonight. Apart from the Kahlua.

Are there going to be no Worst of Perthers there? Weak pricks. that’s all I can say.

Posted in worst of perth | 20 Comments

SOLD OUT SOLD OUT

The Great Comedy Debate for World Environment Day is sold out, including those they were holding for the door so any of youse who were hoping to see The Lazy Aussie live and haven’t bought tickets, that’s teh cry. Sounds like there’s going to be 300 plus at The Charles tomorrow night. looking forward to it.

Did anyone hear me slagging off Worst of Perth readers, Murdoch University, environmentalists, polar bears and International Women’s Day on the radio this morning?

Posted in worst of perth | 9 Comments

Clean and Jerk

Sodabug sent me this months ago. Just getting to it now. Doing better than China. China only has 12 days of coal in reserve at any time. The Worst of Perth maintains a 30 day worst buffer. Hey Sodabug. That’s great. Another erection pic of my own underneath. If you are reading this before 8:30 am, don’t forget I’m on RTRfm this morn.

Posted in worst of perth | 3 Comments

Mighty Ducks

I’m not really sure what to say. Inglewood.

Posted in worst fashion | Tagged | 18 Comments

I’m a Dickhead

Is this the level Perth’s graffiti has sunk to? No Hitler mo or glasses? Just white spraypaint and “I’m a dickhead”? Perhaps the young people of today don’t remember Hitler. Or glasses.

Posted in worst advertising, worst sign | Tagged , | 21 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 8

I will be on RTRfm Wednesday morning at about 8:30 with Xavier for a little pre debate stoush, with peter Barr officiating. A reminder that the Great Comedy debate for World Environment Day will be held at the Charles Hotel on Thursday night, Tickets $20.

Thanks also to Ljuke for pointing out how the St John of God Foundation logo has a striking resemblance to Audrey the man eating plant from Little Shop of Horrors.

Meanwhile, deep below Media and Arts Alliance HQ, Journalist Union Supremo David Fucking Outrage Cohen receives a scoop of a lifetime from Alannah mcTiernan on the proposed Fremantle Island mega development. (Via Pussycat)

Posted in worst of perth | 10 Comments

Young Hot and Aussie

Been a lot of controversy about Bill Henson’s nude photographs of 13 year olds. Perhaps it would have been better if the kiddies had covered up with these t shirts – except that these shirts would probably be far too small for 13 year olds. And is that a Tom Selleck movie below? Surely it couldn’t be Quigley Down Under, where according to the Internet Movie database, “Sharpshooter Matt Quigley (Selleck) is hired from America by an Australian rancher so he can shoot aborigines at a distance.” Forget sexualised kiddies, Tom Selleck Down Under,? Now that’s perversity.

Posted in worst fashion | Tagged , | 15 Comments