Richard Clayderman isn’t dead yet!

Clayderman isn’t even cold in his grave, in fact the c*nt isn’t even dead, and yet Andre Rieu is still insists on camping it up on his territory, ie elevator music. On what possible level is this sticker OK? Who could get away with this on their car? Koons? Rauschenberg? Pollock? Jake and Dinos Chapman? Tracy Emin? And if they did, wouldn’t it have to be a Mercedes saloon? I’m sorry officer if my hyundai was waltzing over the road in a school zone, please send the bill to Andre Rieu. That’s right, Andre’s baton of banality so distracted me that I appear to have ploughed through a whole primary school waiting at the bus stop.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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100 Responses to Richard Clayderman isn’t dead yet!

  1. Rolly says:

    This is an international “worst”.
    Try the the Order of Australia lists for something more parochial.

    Like

  2. It’s on a local car, so local and international worst. Think local, act global I say. Ted Snell, a big Worst of Perth fan is a recipient of Order of Australia award according to the paper today.

    Like

  3. squib says:

    He’s very popular at Australia Post. There’s always a big stand full of his CDs and DVDs and so on

    That bumper sticker looks handmade

    Like

  4. Rolly says:

    squib,
    Are the stands simply full because no-one is buying them or did AP get a job lot at a substantial discount?

    Like

  5. squib says:

    Both I think Rolly

    Like

  6. Ljuke says:

    Is that a pillow I can see?

    If this car’s a rockin’, blame Andre Rieu.

    Like

  7. Frank Calabrese says:

    And Andre doesn’t get any airplay, except I think on 6PR – Clayderman was a staple on the old Nice & Easy 6KY, whe Eoin Cameron ruled the airwaves in the late 80’s.

    Like

  8. Bedfords Crackpot Fraternity! says:

    What is it with these orange peel tanned types? First there was Julio and now theres Andre! I’m not feeling very well, think I’ll swallow a jar of anti freeze!

    Like

  9. Rage says:

    I shouldn’t be amused by that bumper sticker, but I am.

    I really am.

    Like

  10. Laser says:

    Years from now,
    when those fly by night loud drums and guitar screechings are gone,
    you will still hear Richard Clayderman…
    haunting you… from elevator to elevator.
    He now joins the ranks of those immortals who will ‘linger’ forever.

    For those musical enthusiasts I shall be playing the CD “Richard Clayderman – My Australian Collection” in my office tomorrow…loud!

    Like

  11. Jean-Louis Bolomey says:

    Your posting is a little arrogant. Rieux and Clayderman are the last musicians whose music I would buy. But let’s be honest : firstly they have introduced an enormous number of people to classical music, (after all…didn’t Prokovief write some paltry stuff to get children interested in orchestral music, “Peter and the Wolf”) ? Secondly haven’t people the right to enjoy their kinds of music without being attacked by others who believe that they have some strange claim to intellectual baggage, like yourself, for example? When Beethoven was caught listening to brass band military music and asked how he could possibly enjoy such crap, he answered simply…”I like it”…. Thirdly your need to namesdrop intellectually : “Koons? Rauschenberg? Pollock? Jake and Dinos Chapman? Tracy Emin?” seems to me to smell a little of pseudo intellectual arrogance. Pollock, who dripped paint on canvasses and laughed all the way to the bank, while Emin, a sad social case made money out of exhibiting unmade beds and laughed all the way to Brit government grants….and Koons who couldn’t get enough of a second rate porno actress who royally screwed him…. And fourthly…the fact that an Australian, whose country hasn’t yet come to terms with the fact that the only culture his country possesses is Aboriginal and vastly superior and ancient to his own, should be attacking the simple pleasure of millions of people worldwide.
    By the way, did you know that Rousseau and Voltaire enjoyed the simplest, rustic folk music? That the world’s greatest chef, Fredy Girardet, enjoys a simple barbeque ? That Schumacher plays in the local Swiss village’s football team ? That Roger Federer likes to play cards with his friends in a pub ? That Tchaikovski liked the accordeon?
    As I said, I like neither Clayderman nor Rieux…but your extremely silly attitude (based on the fact perhaps that you haven’t really succeeded in life…?) and your arrogant criticism of simple people enjoying simple music, annoys me.
    Have you succeeded in anything? If so, do tell me. I’d love to be wrong and owe you an apology….

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  12. I don’t think you’ve heard him do Waltzing Matilda.

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  13. CK says:

    Gosh J-LB, are you a professional twat? How well does it pay?

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  14. Sounds like Hoggy’s dicovered a new poisonality.

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  15. poor lisa says:

    Ur you’re basically wrong Jean Louis. Clayderman and Rieux haven’t introduced millions of people to classical music. They’ve introduced millions of people to blanded-out elevator translations of classical music played by Eurotrash Fabio lookalikes in tuxedoes with flyaway Bjorn Borg hair who laugh all the way to the bank just like all those other dodgy artists you don’t like. Don’t kid yourself the millions have subsequently gone out and bought the entire Deutch-Grammaphone catalogue. They’ve just gone out and bought more Clayderman and Reiux CD’s.

    By the way, did you know that LA enjoys the simplest pleasures such as cocos palms, burnt-out Chinese takeaway shops, bumper stickers, London Court and 70’s pornography?

    Secondly haven’t us avid LA fans the right to enjoy their kind of satire without being attacked by pompous French gits who believe that they have some strange claim to dictate what is appropriate proletarian entertainment, like yourself Jean Louis, for example?

    Like

    • jack Whittaker says:

      Where did ‘like yourself, for example’ come from. Perhaps your first language is not English, or maybe you’re from the USA. The correct English is ‘like YOU’.

      Like

  16. David Cohen says:

    LA – ‘Teh Arrogant. That was a right telling off. He obviously hasn’t seen your Gallop artwork.

    Like

  17. Lisa that aint no messiur Mioux- Mioux. Rips croissant off imposters face ; tada its Groggy. The gravatar never lies.

    Like

  18. skink says:

    who is this Andre Rieu? he looks like Michael Bolton in a stolen tuxedo.

    I love Monsieur Bolomey’s argument (shurely a pseudonym?) that crap is not crap if enough people like it.

    I look forward to your cultural analysis of karaoke.

    Like

  19. skink says:

    I think you are right Bill – the last line “what have you succeeded at?” is textbook bol-hoey

    Like

  20. If it is Greg, then I salute his comment. It’s the sort of one he was good at.

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  21. While you’re there Groggy how’s the sale of your art going at the cricketers web site. Last I saw you could buy an original for $70. Ha Ha .

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  22. Federer plays cards with his mates at the pub? Will the prick never stop rubbing his good humoured sportsmanship in our faces?

    Like

  23. skink says:

    Mozart liked singing rugby songs,

    Rudolph Nureyev spent his weekends clog dancing,

    and Emile Zola always got home at five o’clock in time for ‘Neighbours’

    Like

  24. Bill O'Slatter says:

    More in Groggies “spirits” (Glen Fiddich) :
    And Nietszche could teach you that Immanuel Kant was a dirty pissant ….

    Like

  25. Groucho says:

    What sort of car was it….could just be a concert in a minor

    Like

  26. poor lisa says:

    I see where you’re coming from Bill o’Slath’er but semiotic analysis of the structure and content tells me it can’t be..it’s got paragraphs and punctuation, and no drool between the words… it really does read like it’s translated from French…

    Nureyev DID like to disco at Studio 54 skink…

    Like

  27. Snuff says:

    You’ve already answered your own question, J-LB. TLA has succeeded in annoying you. You are therefore wrong, and owe him an apology.

    Like

  28. poor lisa says:

    Also, it’s definitely not Groggy because I haven’t been attacked for apparently being female & saying I don’t like something that’s crap/bad taste.

    Ur, I sound obsessed. Groggy and I did have some classy banter going at one stage…

    Like

  29. Bill O'Slatter says:

    He’s learned a few tricks in the meantime : how to use a spell checker (almost ) and how to capitalise. However he has kept his paragraph structure (?) and the same ranting style. Note the mention of government grants. What’s that you say , why its the thundering hooves of young white lesbians who can’t be far away. ( Latest news Lindsay Lohan whoa ! few! ). Yeah Jean-Louis Lobotomy.

    Like

  30. You’ve never gotten over the Hoey experience have you Bill?I’m satisfied that the comment was on topic. I quite liked it actually. I also liked the threat to come back and check later.

    Like

  31. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Well I’d say he’s a bit of an unconscious comic genius : in other words a nasty Kramer inclined to the pratfall. Kramer ( Michael Richards) offstage.

    Like

  32. SkyLantern says:

    In railing against cultural snobbery, J-LB seems to be confusing personal enjoyment of life’s simple pleasures with the broad consumption of lowbrow populist crap. There’s nothing to recommend the music of Rieu & Clayderman except that ‘simple’ people like it. I’m sure Adolf Hitler would have been a fan too.

    Like

  33. Rolly says:

    SkyLantern,
    I suspect that J-L B was someone trying to take the mickey out of us dedicated contributors to the comments stream of this erudite web-based publication.
    Either that or she/he/it is a complete and utter moron.

    Like

  34. I’d take that as a vote for it being Groggy , Rolly.

    Like

  35. Jean-Louis Bolomey says:

    You got it right….! And I hope I’m not a moron. I just dislike intellectual crap!

    Like

  36. Rolly says:

    J-L B,
    From my perspective it sounds more like inverted snobbery.
    It could, however, be regarded as well balanced opinion; you know, chips on both shoulders.
    As for “intellectual” being used in the context of this blog, I sense a touch of oxymoron rather than any other kind.
    The taking of the piss, in bottled or satirical form, to which these pages are dedicated, does not lend itself to deeply philosophical/intellectual expression.
    It does require a modicum of levity and wit, both of which seem, on the surface, to be concepts with which you are unfamiliar.

    Like

  37. Mick says:

    If somebody claims to be a true classical lover and can apparently understand the BEAUTIES of art, before everything, such a person should a POLITE and CULTURED person! Hey everyone ! if you like to evaluate Clayderman and Rieu’ s music, it’s enough to know who their enemies are ! It seems their enemies are usually impolite, dogm, and silly! Richard Clayderman and André Rieu at least have never disregarded anyone or any music. I think those people who consider themeselves as ART LOVERS and instead, their words are insulting and silly, they are snoberry enough to be able to defend Classical music! Surely, Classical music does not need such defenders! Richard Clayderman is still working after 35 years, his music is still alive and his fans are still numerous in all around the world. For any person with at least 50 in IQ, it is simply obvious that such a music must be very successful! In conclusion I repeat, Classical music as a crown of proud among humanity, does not need such impolite, uncultured defenders who are suffering from Inferiority Complex.

    Like

  38. Mick says:

    If somebody claims to be a true classical lover and can apparently understand the BEAUTIES of art, before everything, such a person should a POLITE and CULTURED person! Hey everyone ! if you like to evaluate Clayderman and Rieu’ s music, it’s enough to know who their enemies are ! It seems their enemies are usually impolite, dogm, and silly! Richard Clayderman and André Rieu at least have never disregarded anyone or any music. I think those people who consider themeselves as ART LOVERS and instead, their words are insulting and silly, they are snoberry enough to be able to defend Classical music! Surely, Classical music does not need such defenders! Richard Clayderman is still working after 35 years, his music is still alive and his fans are still numerous in all around the world. For any person with at least 50 in IQ, it is simply obvious that such a music must be very successful! In conclusion I repeat, Classical music as a crown of proud among humanity, does not need such impolite, uncultured defenders who are suffering from Inferiority Complex.

    Like

  39. The Legend 101 says:

    Andre Rieu is an idiot!, But who is Richard Clayderman is he another violin player?

    Like

  40. Paracleet says:

    Andre Rieu is an idiot!

    Who is Richard Clayderman, is he another violin player?

    Like

  41. Being followed on Twitter by an actual Derridarian.
    Prof of Critical Theory @ Curtin U. Bks include PoMo Oz: Fear & Loathing Downunder and A Derrida Dictionary. Co-editor of Ctrl-Z: new media philosophy.
    @NiallLucy1 for those twop tweet lurkers.

    Like

    • Rouei says:

      OMG. I will have to tease him about that. I can’t believe the man I respected so much follows you on twitter. Haha but seriously, he has a great sense of humour.

      Like

  42. Vulture says:

    ‘The Worst Of Perth’

    reading through this mumbo jumbo boring waste of time whatever, is it any wonder that this site is named what it is?

    Like

  43. Vulture says:

    Right at this moment i don’t have a life. I was looking for info on Richard Clayderman and found you lovely people. As for choices, well we all have those sweetheart. I was in the ‘neigborhood’ again, yes still looking up info on Richard and i simply could not resist. Now this is just too much fun! I guess i must be one of those people who think that while there are Andre Rieu’s and/or Richard Clayderman’s there must be a little decency left in this world somewhere? Its obviously not here. ‘The Worst Of Perth’ … if ever i needed any further justification.

    Like

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